Aruiteku Together Forever – Chapter Two
After leaving Kaname's apartment, Sousuke ran across the street to his own. There, he took a quick – and cold – shower, changed into fatigues, and grabbed his always prepared rucksack. He had more time than usual to make it to the landing zone, but he had still left her apartment immediately anyways. If he had stayed, he did not know if he could have ever left.
It was a sobering thought.
He left his apartment, and slowly walked towards the established route, lost in thought. The day's events were certainly unexpected. Enjoyable, but still unexpected. He was unsure of how to proceed from this point. Something had happened back there, more than just their kisses, more than their confessions. Something in him had changed. Sousuke could not remember the last time he was so, well, carefree. Danger always lurked around the corner, you always had to be prepared, and yet he had pushed all those thoughts away and had just concentrated on Kaname.
That was risky. He sighed, a visible puff of breath in the cold air, and drew his jacket tighter around him. How was he supposed to protect her if she was all he could focus on? He needed to sort out his thoughts before returning or else he would just be putting her in more danger.
Sousuke shook his head.
There was no going back now, that much was for certain. He could not take back what was said back there, he could not ignore her words, and he did not want to. What he did need was to figure out how he was going to continue his job and not get both of them killed from distraction.
Sousuke arrived at the field, his face flushed and skin chapped from the cold, and the rush of wind from the chopper certainly did not make it feel any better. The sting was good though, he could concentrate on the pain and perhaps separating himself from his thoughts would allow him clearer perception.
The smell of ozone was strong and the air in front of him shimmered briefly as the ECS was temporarily disabled. With ease from long practice, he hopped in, greeted the pilot Santos, and buckled up, watching Tokyo grow smaller and smaller as they sped away.
Kaname locked the door behind Sousuke with a regretful sigh. He just stepped out the door and already she missed him. What she really wanted to do was rush out, hold him tight, and tell him never to leave, but she knew she could not ask that of him. That would be forcing him to make a decision between her and his comrades, and while she knew he loved her, she did not know which he would choose. He had certainly been abandoned in the battlefield with no reinforcements enough times to not wish that on his allies.
Honestly, that was one of the things she admired about him so much. Sousuke had been through so many hardships, been forced to face so many things no person should ever deal with, and he was still so kind and considerate. After being given nothing he would sacrifice everything for others. She loved that about him.
She pushed away from the door and padded softly through her apartment to the kitchen. It was getting late, and if she wanted any sleep she really should eat soon. With another sigh, she pulled some leftovers from the fridge and heated them up in the microwave, not in the mood to put any effort into dinner.
Her large apartment had never felt so lonely, not even the first night she spent alone after her father and sister returned to America. Kaname tugged on her bangs with a low growl of frustration.
This would not do.
She could not sit around her apartment, feeling sorry for herself while Sousuke was out there, putting his life on the line to keep others safe.
To keep her safe.
She wringed her hands nervously as the microwave beeped. Not paying attention to much outside her thoughts, she yelped and dropped the hot plate, burning her hand. Muttering curses, Kaname turned on the cold water and placed her hand under it, blaming Sousuke under her breath. Catching herself, she blew air at her bangs and shook her head with a rueful grin.
"I should really stop that. He's not even here and I'm finding fault with him. How long will he really put up with me yelling at him needlessly?" She dried off her hands and, still holding the hand towel, moved her plate to the dining table and set it down. "Maybe I should do something for him. Get him something. I wonder if he's ever been given a gift before."
Chewing thoughtfully, she glanced around her kitchen, smiling softly as she thought of what she might get him. She did say to herself that she might pick out some clothes for him, back when she had cut his hair in October. And why shouldn't she now? There was no way she was going to let him get away with not taking her on dates now, and she'd rather he wear something more… civilian.
Finished eating, she looked at the time. Just after nine-thirty. Sousuke was probably on his way to the RV then. Hurriedly, she cleaned the dishes and threw on some boots to run across the street. Tugging the collar of her uniform jacket close as she waited for the elevator in the unheated hallway, she grinned at her folly.
Look at me. One kiss and I'm standing in the freezing cold so I can find out what size clothes he wears so I can buy him some new ones. I must be mad.
Shivering as she waited, growling impatiently, the indicator lights slowly ticked down the floors. What in the hell was she thinking, running around in just her uniform? Finally, the elevator chimed and the doors opened.
She hopped in, hit the button for the fifth floor repeatedly, and wrapped her arms around herself tightly. She rubbed her legs together and scowled at her visible breath in the too cold air. Once on the right floor she ran down the hallway while fumbling with her keys. Inside Sousuke's apartment was only slightly warmer than the hallways.
Figures. Living with the minimum in comfort. Idiot. He better appreciate this.
Spotting a rather warm looking coat hanging by the door, she yanked it off the hook and threw it on quick, drawing it shut. Since I'm buying him clothes, the least he can do is let me borrow this jacket so I don't freeze on the operation. She grinned to herself, shaking her head. Operation. She really had been spending too much time with him.
Kaname walked to Sousuke's bedroom and searched through his clothes, taking notes of what sizes he wore with the pen and notepad kept in her uniform skirt pocket. Done with that, she wrote a quick note so he wouldn't think someone broke in when he got back and saw a coat missing, then left, locking up behind her.
Thankfully, the elevator was still on his floor, so the return wasn't so long, and with the stolen, borrowed she reminded herself, coat it wasn't so cold either. Once back in her apartment, she greeted the heat with gratitude. So what if she kept the place warmer than most found comfortable, she liked to wear shorts and tank-tops, not sweaters and pants, and there was also the issue of her low blood pressure.
After hanging up Sousuke's coat, she walked to her bedroom with a smile. Distracting herself with thoughts of what kind of clothes Sousuke might look good in, and be comfortable with, kept her from thinking of what kind of danger he could be in. Nightly routine finished, she slipped between the covers and fell asleep wondering if she should let Kyouko in on this.
Sousuke rifled through his bag and pulled out an MRE as the transport lifted further away from Japan. With a thought spared to his interrupted time with Kaname and the homemade dinner he missed out on, he unwrapped the food and bit into it. He had never really put much thought into what he ate before, but there was something comforting in sitting at the dining table watching Kaname as she prepared food for them.
He sighed wistfully as he ate his rations and thought of Kaname. For the past nine months he had been given a reason to make sure to return home safely. Since the incident in the mountains of North Korea he had placed more stock in the value of his own life. Now he found himself dreading his mission. He had never feared for himself before. It wasn't for his sake that he felt this way. It was for her. He could not die on her, not when things were just being discovered between them.
The mission must be dangerous for him to be called out. He was only brought in if it looked like the Lambda Driver would be required, and had not been needed since the Pacific Chrysalis. He thought back to his conversation with Hayashimizu on the school roof.
"I don't think you can carry on like this anymore."
Those words were even more foreboding now. They truly could not carry on this way. How must she be feeling, sitting at home while he left to get shot at for a few days at a time? He found himself feeling even more nervous, leaving her behind like this. He made sure there was another person watching her when he was gone, but it was just a PRT member.
Primary Response just could not compare in skill to Special Response.
This, of course, was why he had been able to wrangle one of their ranks into it, and why he was only allowed to continue guarding her because he was too valuable to lose entirely. They just might anyways, despite their efforts to keep him. If this mission was too hard on him, if it was too hard on Kaname, if further trouble brewed at school, if their classmates started to catch on, if they started to alienate her…
There were too many 'ifs' he decided. He would talk to Kaname about it. She deserved to hear about his conversation with Hayashimizu, she deserved to know the possibilities, she deserved to make her own decisions regarding her life. He had not wanted to burden her with such dark thoughts, he wanted to keep her safe, happy, and comfortable with her friends. He did not want to subject her to the terrible pain and agony she would no doubt suffer if her friends suddenly turned on her.
He finished his MRE and shoved the wrapper into an unused pocket in his rucksack. He retrieved a bottle of mineral water before closing his bag, then sat back and took a long swig while thinking. How would he go about things if Kaname decided they should leave it all behind? There were various options available to them, he always made sure of that.
We can think of that if it comes to it. Those plans are already in place, it's just a matter of options. I need to figure out added security measures if we decide to stay.
He shifted uncomfortably, wishing he had the leisure of thinking things through in a more hospitable setting. At that thought he grimaced and shook his head. He was getting soft from peaceful Japan. That truly would not do. He grinned and shook his head again. If anyone had told him a year ago that he would find himself considering any part of his life peaceful, that he might be more comfortable in a heated apartment than a transport chopper cabin, and that he would learn what love is…
Well, he probably would have shot them between the eyes to spare them a life lost in madness. He would have seen that as a favor, not an act of cruelty and murder as he admitted to himself now. It wasn't that he was a cruel or immoral person, he was just the by-product of his life's lessons. A madman would cause more friendly casualties than enemy, and he would have seen such seemingly outlandish statements as crazy-talk.
Sousuke reached up to scratch the back of his head with the hand holding the water bottle. He hadn't closed the top all the way and water dribbled down the back of his neck. He muttered to himself about such idiocy as he rubbed his neck and twisted the cap fiercely.
Any distractions during this short time he had to think were unwelcome.
Back to the task at hand. I really need to stop letting my thoughts wander.
He tried to keep it simple. Increasing protection outside of the home was impossible without angering Kaname. That just meant no getting distracted by her while they were out. Easy enough, he figured, Japanese culture was not particularly fond of public displays of affection, and he doubted he would be prone to them regardless. He just hoped Kaname agreed, or he would have an angry girlfriend on his hands.
Girlfriend…
Shaking his head violently, he growled at himself for getting distracted, thinking back to their kisses. There were no cold showers to escape to this time.
In the home, he had to think of how to increase protection in the home, dammit, not why he needed to increase the protection. Thankfully, the idea came to him swift enough. Noise traps. Kaname was unlikely to approve of tin cans, bells and the likes littering around her apartment at the windows and doors, but he would stand firm on the idea unless a better one arose.
He simply would not feel comfortable repeating that night's events if there were no other ways to notice if an enemy slipped past the security measures already in place. As good as he was, he did not want to put blind faith in his abilities against these new and entirely pleasurable sensations.
That got his mind going again, and with a solution to the problem, he lacked the will to push those thoughts away again. He thought to their kisses, that recent memory merging with the more distant one of a stolen peek of her body during that fateful haircut. From there, his thoughts wandered to a beach and a white bikini, further back still to almost a year to a balcony and towel. Unaccustomed to such thoughts, his underused imagination ran rampant without his consent or control.
One memory in particular caught and held, causing him to blush furiously at the images running through his mind. The club C&J, military costumes, Kaname dressed in an officer's skirt and jacket, barking orders at him.
The captain was right, he was more likely to follow Kaname's orders than those of his superiors.
Kaname in the officer's uniform…
He had no idea why that image affected him the way it did. He saw strong pretty women in uniform all the time.
But this was Kaname. On her, it was exciting. On her, it was new. And on a deeper level, it was like she accepted his world, which meant a lot to him. It was, after all, all that he had known before meeting her.
Lost in thought as he was, it took yanking his water bottle out of his hands and dumping the contents over his head for Santos to get his attention. "Head out of the gutter and suit up, Sergeant! You're meeting up with a turtle today, I've got to take a detour and Danaan can't surface right now. Enjoy your cold ocean bath, looks like you need it!" She laughed and went back to join her co-pilot.
No time to waste being embarrassed, he rushed to put on his wet suit and shove his rucksack into a waterproof bag. He hoped Eva wouldn't spread that story around. He was still struggling with the concept of having lustful thoughts that he really did not want to have to talk to anyone about it! He especially hoped Kurz never heard of this!
Geared up, he held onto the bars by the open hatch and waited for the signal to jump. Freefalling, he cleared his mind, opened then released his parachute with a rhythm his body knew well from repeat performances. He waited in the cold water for the turtle system to meet up with him to guide him to the Tuatha de Danaan.
While waiting, and subsequently diving, he revisited one of his thoughts. That is, the one about talking to anyone about the things his imagination put forth. He was groping blindly when the idea of sex came up, and he did not want to rely completely on his baser instincts if he could help it. He was in no rush to get Kaname into bed, he was perfectly content with waiting until she brought the subject up, but who knew when that might be.
They had both let go of themselves, and if things naturally progressed quickly, he wanted to know what to do, so that he could do his best by her. He could only come up with two people that he felt comfortable broaching such a personal subject with. Kalinin, who was the closest thing Sousuke ever had to a father, and Big-Sis Mao.
He found himself making that distinction with her now. Big-Sis Mao was a woman he could go to for advice, and who would give it whether he asked or not, if she felt he needed to hear it. Second Lieutenant Mao was the woman he took orders from and trusted with his life on the battlefield.
Sousuke pushed all thoughts aside when he boarded the TDD-1. His bag was taken and he was ordered to Briefing Room Three without the chance to change or dry. Not the first time this happened, he strode swiftly and purposefully to the assigned room with just one thought left on his mind.
Things must be dire indeed.
"Kweh! Kana-chan, wake up! Kweh! You'll be late!"
SLAM!
Groaning, Kaname put her alarm clock back on the bedside table and rubbed her eyes. She had fallen asleep easily enough last night, it was staying asleep that was the problem. First it had been all the excitement from the night worming its way into her dreams. She woke up feeling uncomfortable and sticky, her damned subconscious making her need to wash up and change.
After cursing Sousuke, then feeling guilty for it, she had to battle her fears. Somehow she pushed them aside and fell asleep. When she woke up several times in a cold sweat she found herself wishing for the wet dreams to return. All of this lack of sleep made for a very grumpy Kaname, who drowsily made her way to the shower while contemplating skipping school.
She growled at her weakness. She was not one to lie down and accept defeat. Sousuke was out there doing his best for people who would never know his name or face. The least she could do was to continue living the life he kept her safe and free to live, and to find some way to make life outside of combat more comfortable for him.
She would go to school. She would take down notes diligently for him to review. She would go shopping for clothes for him. Not to mention the distraction would be welcome. If she was concentrating on class then she would have no time to worry about what he might be going through.
Right?
It was a Saturday, anyways. A half-day. That meant more time for shopping. She still had not decided whether she should bring Kyouko or not. Stepping out of the shower and drying off, she wondered if she should try to call Sousuke and ask him what he thought of others knowing about their new relationship.
She booted that idea quickly. First off, if she managed to get through at all, he would probably be in a combat situation. Kaname had finally gotten that story out of him –that he had been trying to outrun and outgun the mafia when she was on the phone.
"That idiot!" She moved too much with her anger and blew hot air on her face instead of her hair with the blow-dryer. "Again! I'll kill him! Why do I keep burning myself thinking about him?!" Her mood flip-flopped again and she treated her hair more delicately as she smiled and blushed.
That answer was simple. She loved him. He loved her. She could lose herself thinking about him for hours and feel just about every emotion with a name and even some without. That was the effect he had on her, and it would do her good to stop fighting that one indisputable fact.
Kaname got her thoughts back on track when she stepped into her room to dress. Secondly! No one controlled Chidori Kaname. If she wanted her best friend to know she was happy, then dammit, her best friend would know! Besides, Kyouko might be a gossip, but she hoarded that knowledge for herself. If she asked Kyouko to keep it a secret, then it would stay a secret.
The clock read six-fifty and Kaname was out the door and on her way to school. She decided to wear the coat she had taken from Sousuke's apartment. It might raise some questions, but she didn't care. It was a cold late January day, and she would be doing a lot of walking around after school.
Never mind that the coat smelled like gunpowder and oil, a distinctly unfeminine scent. That it smelled like Sousuke, making her feel warmer and safer against all logic.
Sitting on the train, she wrapped the coat tighter around herself and inhaled deeply, blanking out everything but the thought that it almost felt like Sousuke was there with her. It was a nice feeling and had a calming effect on her nerves. That the scent of gunpowder could make her feel calm was sign enough that her military maniac had managed to bury himself deep into her heart.
Kaname laughed suddenly, causing the few other passengers to look at her funny. The thought of Sousuke burying himself in her heart had her picturing him with that tactical knife of his, digging a trench in a Valentine heart-shaped island, and setting Claymore mines for any other men who might try to find their way in.
That thought had her giggling even more. Her love could certainly be compared to a minefield! Sousuke was the only one who had braved the danger, her temper, and just kept on going.
The cutest girl you would never want to date! Hmmmph!
Sousuke had suffered far worse than her infamous temper. Perhaps that was why he was the only one who could abide by her. She was prone to exploding at random, causing everyone except Sousuke to go running for cover. He would just weather out the storm, stand by her through it all, and calmly await the next without complaint.
"Next stop, Sengawa Station."
Kaname sighed and exited the train at the stop. As she approached the school gates, she saw Kyouko and called her over.
"Morning, Kana-chan! What's up?" She smiled cheerfully, pigtails bobbing with every motion.
This is it girl, if you don't just say it you'll never get the courage to. "Hey Kyouko," Kaname grabbed her friend's sleeve and tugged her to the side, away from all the student traffic. And eavesdroppers. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something, but it has to stay secret, at least for now, okay?"
Kyouko nodded slowly, curious. Kaname didn't normally share secrets. At least not recently, not that really big secret she knew Kaname and Sousuke were hiding.
"Ah, well. Sousuke and I, hmm, how do I put this? We sort of became a couple last night," she fidgeted with her bag and looked at her feet, blushing fiercely.
Not the secret, but Kyouko would take it. Grinning widely, she set herself to get all the info out of her friend. "What do you mean, 'sort of,' hmm Kana-chan?"
A flinch. Hah! "Well, er, we kissed," she turned even redder, if that was possible, "a lot. It just kind of happened. We didn't get the chance to really talk though. He got called out by his friends on one of those few day trips he takes."
"Oh? I would think staying with the girl he kissed should be more important than going out with his buddies. Where does he go on those trips, anyways?"
Another flinch. Not so good this time. "Ah hah! Hahahah! Who knows? I didn't want to make him choose between me and his friends, though, and he really wanted to go," some lies, some truth. Sousuke had taught her it was the most effective way to lie.
Kyouko shook her head, but didn't press it. Kaname would just block her out if she did. She was getting tired of the lies, of feeling like she belonged to a different world than her friend. Back to what she could work with. "Okay, girl, spill! What was it like?"
Kaname looked thoughtful, then blushed again. "Mm, well, actually… I was thinking of going clothes shopping for him today, after school. We don't really have any more time now, but, ah, if you come with me, I'll tell you all about it."
Laughing, Kyouko started walking to the building, reminded that they would be late if they didn't get moving. "No need to bribe me into going, Kana-chan! Giving Sousuke a make-over sounds fun! Maybe we should try the salon again when he gets back!" For some reason, that had Kaname blushing again. The girl was always tight-lipped about everything that happened in the days following that event, so she didn't push.
But she sure wanted to.
AN: Not much to add, but if anyone who read this is a good artist I would love you forever if you would draw the imagined scene of Sousuke on a heart shaped island. XD I've tried, but I can't do it justice, though I'll probably upload my pathetic attempts later anyways.
As always, thanks for reading and please R&R, criticisms are more than welcome!