XVI.

Bobby was asleep. His parents were not. They were having an argument on (and about) the couch.

"You've been sleeping here for two nights?"

"Well, yeah…"
"Why?

"You only have one guest bed, which Bobby needs more than I do," Robin explained.

"Oh." Barney frowned, but after a second his face lit up. "You know, Scherbatsky, there's a very simple solution to this problem."

Robin thought for a second. "You're right! Thanks for deciding to try that." She squeezed his hand, then got up.

"It's my pleasure," he responded with a bit of a chuckle.

Two hours later, wrapped up on his couch in a blanket, Barney silently said something exactly the opposite.

XVII.

On Saint Patrick's Day, Bobby came home from school holding a brochure. "Look what I got at school, mum."

Robin took the brochure and opened it. "Altruvision…?"
This is a real job! the pamphlet proclaimed. Real news! Interviews with people who matter! Decent production value!

"Huh…."

A couple hours after, Barney arrived to see Robin baking. "What's the occasion? Is hell freezing, or has there been a comeback of Arrested Development?"
"Neither, silly." She walked away from the oven to cuff him lightly on the shoulder. "They're for that lovely thing you did for me!"
"I know absolutely nothing about Altruvision," Barney protested in a flat voice while staring at a painting on the wall.

Robin rolled her eyes. The oven dinged. "Oh, wait, you have to try this! Close your eyes…"

He closed. She ran off and took her cooking out of the oven, broke off a piece, and came back to him. "Open wide…"
"Oh!" He was surprised. "Soft pretzel!"

"Yup," she said.

"Say, maybe you should call them before you start celebrating, unless you did already."

"Oh, right." She took her cell phone out of her pocket. "Hello?" Pause. She took it down from her ear for a moment and pressed a button, then put it back. "Yes." Pause. "Altruvision." Pause. "Yes." Pause. "No." Pause. "Why, as a matter of fact, I fit that description." Pause. "S-C-H-E-R-B-A-T-S-K-Y. What a coincidence." Longer pause. "Nice. Thanks." She closed the phone. "….I'm employed now. Okay, then."

"Okay, then? Okay, then? Robin, this is not 'okay'. This is not even awesome. This is supposed to be legen—"

"Wait for it?" Bobby interjected.

They both stared at him, quietly shocked.

"…Dary," Robin finished after several seconds.

"And must be celebrated with…" Barney glanced at Bobby and decided to censor his words. "Something more substantial than soft pretzels."

XVIII.

So they went out for drinks. Just drinks. No big deal. It wasn't a date or anything.

They just laughed at each other's jokes and ordered the same burger and accidentally-or-not touched a few too many times while they were walking to the bar for post-dinner drinks.

Okay, so they went out for dinner-and-drinks. Slight amendment. No big deal. Still not a date.

And they were served by the same waitress as their last – uh, he meant only – wait, first – first, last, and only – yeah, that was it, he was awesome – date. Okay, that was just fate being a bitch.

But now they were at the comfortable, familiar drinks part, finally. Carl gave them an entire bottle of scotch and a pair of shotglasses. Barney poured some scotch into both and handed Robin one.

"To employment!" he said. They drank and clinked glasses.

"To the mercy of Altrucell in developing Altruvision," she responded, pouring a second round that they quickly threw back.

"To New York City!"
"To Canada!"
"To McLaren's!"
"To alcohol!"
They laughed and stopped to look at each other. His hand twitched, almost touched hers, but he got scared and reached for the scotch instead.

"Especially to scotch," he said, refilling their cups.

"To… to newscasting," she slurred, starting to feel the alcohol.

"To our genes of pure awesomeness being shared in a kid so legendary that he wears a suit!" he cried, wondering if the corners of a room were always this curvy, because they were cool this way.
Robin started but took her shot. "Yeah, and to s-" She gulped suddenly. "To s-" She stopped. "To single parenthood!" She poured herself a particularly generous shot that time.

"To being awesome."

"You said that already. Wouldn't have repeated yourself like that in England," Robin flippantly said. "To England, then!"

There was a bit of a lull after that pair of shots, and then Barney said, "A… a hundred dollars says that if you… you turn around and back…"
She put her hand over his mouth. "To not using really cheesy pickup lines." She quickly poured two more shots.

They turned to a distinctly non-awesome nearby pair. "That's the biggest two-leaf clover I've ever seen," the man said, pointing (and staring) at his companion's chest.

"And is that a pot of gold in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" the other replied. They appraised each other a bit more and then started kissing. Barney and Robin were disgusted and looked away.

"Like those lines," she said.

"Yeah," he replied, "those are… really bad. Like 'you can banish my snakes,' bad."
She poured yet another pair of shots, drank hers in the blink of an eye, and started to laugh. "Ooh, I've – I've got one! The… worst one of all… 'Kiss me, Stinson, I think I used to be Irish.'"

And then she unexpectedly crawled into his lap, giggling, and kissed him, to his great surprise.

After about ten seconds, she drew away, their eyes met, and he breathed in sharply. Then they kissed again, slower and harder and deeper. When they parted, he said, "I wanna shamrock your body so bad right now." Breathless emotion slipped into the words, but he didn't care.
"Yeah," she said back, and their mouths crashed together again..