Got a secret, can you keep it?
Swear this one you'll save
Better lock it in your pocket
Taking this one to the grave
I yawned and looked around the empty café in sorrow. The rain was lashing against the windows outside, angry lightening splitting the dark sky open and thunder booming loud enough to make me jump. I had been doodling on a napkin for the past forty five minutes because no one was venturing outside of their homes on a day like this. There were four of us working, all sitting around the empty café, listening to old Elvis songs on the jukebox and trying to relieve the boredom some how. So far I had doodled three sets of eyes, four cherries, an anchor and a few little matchstick men.
I balled the napkin up in my hand and threw it into the bin behind the counter with a sigh.
"Hey, Abby, there's a phone call for you in the kitchen." Lisa the cook called out to me. I brushed down my uniform and headed for the swinging door, wondering who on earth was calling me in work. Usually only Mark called here and that was only in emergencies. I couldn't understand what he was calling about now for.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's me." Paul's voice was husky and I felt my eyes slid closed for a brief second. Paul had the type of voice that was beyond perfect for phone sex. I had to keep that in mind, I mused. I could feel Lisa's eyes on me and I knew she was wondering who I was talking to.
"Hey, what's up?" I finally responded, turning my back to Lisa and Amber, a waitress I didn't get along with.
"I have to cancel our plans for tonight." He told me, his voice sorrowful. I bit back my disappointment and tried to sound cheerful when I replied.
"It's fine. I'll call Mark and get him to take me to a movie or something."
"No!" His voice was suddenly sharp and I winced slightly. Paul had never used that tone with me before; a mixture of exasperation, anger and worry. "You have to come down to La Push. I'll come and pick you up like we talked about and drop you at Emily's. I'll only be a few hours and then I'll collect you and we can stay at my place tonight."
"Paul, it's fine. You don't have to arrange something for me to do." I chuckled. "I'll get Mark to…"
"Abby, please just come down to La Push. Please." He was pleading now and I bit my lip. What the hell was going on?
"Why don't you come and pick me up now?" I replied. "We're dead so I'll get Wendy to let me go early."
"Okay. Okay, that's good. I'm on my way." He was relieved as he hung up and I stared at the phone for a few seconds, wondering what the hell was going on. He had been acting funny for the past week and a half and I had been worried. Mark had joked that he was secretly harbouring a drug problem that he hadn't wanted me to know about and I had laughed and defended him but I had been thinking about it since then. Paul had the type of body that took years of body building to achieve but in the few months I had known him I hadn't seen him pick up so much as a weight or talk about working out at all. It had made me suspicious when I sat down and thought about it.
I shook the thought out of my head and placed the phone back on the cradle, heading for the small office at the back of the kitchen. Wendy, my boss, was only thirty and absolutely insane for anything kitsch and retro. The café had a fifties theme, with a jukebox in the corner and booths with cherry red seats. We sold malts and milkshakes and 'real food' as Wendy put it. Wendy herself never appeared without a full face of make up on and she was always dressed in a poodle skirt and a shirt tied at the waist or a full skirted dress and heels. Her husband, Johnny, was what she called a rockabilly. His hair was always slicked up in a quaff and he wore his jeans turned up over creepers and old bowling shirts. I found both of them adorably strange and I loved spending time in their fifties-centric house.
"Hey Abby, what's up?" Wendy asked when I poked my head around the door. She held the phone in her hand, the receiver pressed against her shoulder as she looked at me expectantly.
"I was wondering if I could take off?" I asked. "Café's dead and the other girls are here and I had a late night last night…"
"Say no more." Wendy waved me off. "I'll see you on Saturday for poker?"
"Wouldn't miss it. Thanks Wendy."
I pulled my coat over my uniform and stood at the door, waiting on the sigh of Paul's familiar car. He drove horrifically fast and it never took him long to get from La Push to Port Angeles. I wasn't disappointed when he pulled up next to the café ten minutes later and honked the horn.
"Hey, Abby before you go." Kelly, one of the part time waitresses, grabbed my arm and pulled me back slightly. She looked around seriously before turning her gaze on me. "You know that guy I had a date with last night?" I nodded and she took a deep breath. "Well he went to high school with this girl, right? And she got involved with one of the guys from La Push, Jacob something. It didn't end well but Mike went to the movies with them one night and he said that Jacob was this tall, skinny bean pole. A few weeks later he showed up at their high school to confront this girl about the guy she's going out with and he's like a body builder, Mike said. I mentioned that you were going out with a guy called Paul from the reservation and he told me to tell you to be careful. Everyone in Forks knows that the guys from the res are in a gang and that they're mixed up with serous drugs. Like steroids."
I stared at her until Paul honked his horn again and tore me out of my thoughts. I shook my head with a chuckled and patted Kelly on the arm.
"Thanks for the concern, Kelly, but you're friend has it wrong. I've met the guys from La Push that Paul hangs out with and they're all sweetie pies."
She nodded, not convinced, and smiled at me. "Just be careful, yeah?"
I nodded and pulled open the door, taking a deep breath before running for Paul's car. He had the door open for me by the time I got there and I slid in thankfully. The rain pounded into the pavement around us as we drove.
"Can I stop by the apartment to get a change of clothes?" I asked softly. He sighed but nodded and I thought about what Kelly had said. That was two people in the space of two weeks to mention drugs to me in the same sentence as Paul. Was there something there that I didn't see? Was I so caught up in the fact that I loved Paul that I didn't notice his bad traits? I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye; his arms were bare and his legs were only half covered with the cut off jeans he wore. I could feel the heat radiating off him but I still shivered. Was there something he wasn't telling me? Some big secret about himself that he was trying to hide?
"Hey, baby, are you okay?" He asked me softly suddenly. I started and nodded, a tense smile on my face. He didn't look convinced but he turned back to the road, slipping a hand onto my knee. I tensed as the heat seeped through my thin tights.
"So what's the big deal with me going to La Push tonight?" I asked softly. He tensed immediately, the muscles in his arms bunching as his fists clenched.
"There's something Sam needs us to take care off. And I'd feel safer if you were in La Push. Emily and Kim and Claire will be there too." He spoke as if this was all I needed to know and I felt my anger rise.
"Why would I be safer in La Push?" I asked.
"Abby, please, just trust me with this. I'll explain… I'll explain everything later, I promise." He stumbled over his words as he clenched his jaw.
"I don't know if I want…"
"Abby! Seriously, just stay in Emily's for a few hours." His voice was loud and I cringed away from him instinctively, suddenly aware of how volatile his temper was according to his friends and how much bigger he was than me. He took a deep, shaky breath and apologised immediately.
"I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to scare you." His voice was sorrowful now and I sighed, leaning my head back against the seat.
"It's fine, I guess." I told him. "But I want to go home after Emily's."
"Okay." He agreed quickly. "Anything you want."
We pulled into the parking lot of my building and I climbed out quickly, heading inside before Paul could follow me. The doors of the elevator were almost closed by the time he reached them and I sighed as he reached his hand inside to stop them from closing fully. The short trip upstairs was tense and silent with me watching the floor numbers passing and Paul watching me.
"You're mad."
"Yep." I popped my lips as I spoke and he winced. I looked at him out of the corner of my eyes as I unlocked my door, wondering what he was thinking. His face was screwed up as if he was in pain and I fought my urge to wrap my arms around him and make sure he was all right. I won the fight and headed for my bedroom, closing the door behind me.
I stood there for a few seconds, unmoving, wondering at his behaviour. Paul had hinted at his temper before and the few times I had spoken to his friends they had all hinted at it too but I had never seen it, not really. Sure, he got mad and defended me if anyone touched me at a bar and he was always mad at Alex but I had never seen him yell like that before. And I had to admit that it scared me slightly. Maybe the whole sweet, sensitive boyfriend thing was an act to entrap me? What if he was violent? I had no chance against a guy Paul's size. I felt my breathing speed up in panic and I ordered myself to relax. I could hear him standing outside the unlocked door and I chided myself. Paul was less likely to be abusive than I was. He wouldn't hurt me and I knew it. He was under stress and he was taking it out on me and that was fine because I did it to him. I took a deep breath and stripped out of my uniform, throwing it into the hamper and sliding a pair of jeans on.
It took me ten minutes to locate one of my shoes and another five at the mirror to get my hair to sit. I had dyed it cherry red a few days ago and I loved it. It suited me. When I opened the door, Paul wasn't there. I frowned and pulled my leather jacket over my arms and headed towards the kitchen. He was sitting at the small table, staring morosely at the wall.
"Hey you ready to go?" I asked. He looked up and nodded, following me outside and pausing as I locked my door. We walked in silence towards the car and climbed in slowly.
"I'm not mad." I told him. He glanced at me, unbelieving, as he started the car and I sighed. "Well I am but I'm not, you know what I mean? I'm mad that you won't tell me what's going on and I'm a little scared that your so tense but I'm not really mad at you."
His smile was bright and made every last bit of tension drop from my body. He tentatively reached a hand towards me and I reached out and claimed it, lacing my fingers through his. His smile widened and we continued to drive in silence but it's comfortable this time. The pad of his thumb stroked the skin of my hand softly and I smiled.
Emily's house was brightly lit by the time we pulled in next to it. The back door was open but the screen was closed and I could make out the shape of a few people in the kitchen.
"Don't go outside at all, okay?" Paul told me before I could climb out of the car. I looked at him and nodded. "Promise me."
"I promise." I told him. "But when you get back you're telling me what the hell is going on."
"Promise." He agreed, clenching his jaw again. I nodded once more and climbed out of the car, rushing through the rain to get inside.
"Hey Abby." Jared greeted me as soon as I was inside. "Paul out there?"
I nodded and he grinned, stepping around me.
"Alright then, I'll see you gals later." He reached down to kiss Kim and I looked away. It was a simple, innocent kiss but looking at them made me feel like I was watching something a lot more intimate than that. Maybe it was the way Kim's hand strayed to Jared's bare chest, stroking the skin directly over his heart or maybe it was the way Jared's hand automatically slid up Kim's shirt and rested on the small of her back. They were pressed so closely together that I was hard to tell when one ended and the other began. I kept my gaze on the floor until I heard Paul's chuckle. Suddenly I was pressed against his chest and his lips were covering mine. His hands slid into my hair and my eyes fluttered closed as he increased the pressure. His tongue was soft as it stroked my bottom lip, asking for entrance.
"I leave for five minutes and my house becomes a make out spot." Emily chuckled. I pulled back from Paul with a grin and he returned the gesture.
"Stay inside the house." He warned me as Jared kissed Kim a final time. "I love you."
His words didn't register with me until after the screen door had slammed shut behind them. He loved me. It was something I knew but he hadn't said it aloud before. I couldn't help the goofy smile that covered my face as I followed Kim and Emily into the living room. Claire and another teenage girl I had never met before was sitting there, watching Alice in Wonderland.
"Abby!" Claire greeted me happily. I returned my attention to earth and smiled at her, catching her easily when she ran to me. Emily had called into the café one day with Claire and the child seemed to be particularly attached to me suddenly. Paul said it was because of the necklace I gave her.
"Hey Claire. How's it hanging?"
"Quil brought me Alice in Wonderland today. Do you want to watch with me?" She looked up at me eagerly and I smiled.
"Sure sweetie. I love Alice in Wonderland."
"Really?" Her eyes were wide as she grinned and tugged at my hand until I was on the couch next to her.
We watched Alice in Wonderland until Claire was asleep. I had kept her entertained by singing along to the songs and now she was lying against me, her small mouth open as she snored lightly.
"Thank God she's asleep." Emily murmured as she lifted her up and headed for the stairs. Kim and Anaise chuckled and settled back into their seats as I watched. Anaise was a pretty girl, with dark features like Kim and Emily, and she seemed easy going.
"So, Abby, how come you're here so early? Paul said you would be working all day and coming over after."
"I got off early. The storm sort of put everyone off coming out for food so we had no customers and five waitresses. I just got lucky today." I replied to Kim. Emily rejoined us, claiming the seat on the other side of the couch. I wondered if she knew what was going on, where the boys were and what they were doing. I wondered if she would tell me if I asked. It was doubtful. I noticed the looks she had been shooting me throughout the afternoon, as if she was expecting me to ask her what was going on. I could see her formulating her answer, just in case. But Paul said he would tell me the truth and I believed him. Sort of. I had never really given much thought to the fact that Paul might have a secret but now all sorts of scenarios were racing though my head. Was he involved with something dangerous? Was he involved in drugs? Some sort of illegal gang? Was he smuggling something illegal into the country? Was I going completely insane?
I shook my head at my own thoughts and then tried to pay attention to what Kim and Anaise were talking about. Emily had gone into the kitchen to stick a pizza into the oven for us.
"Seth said we could go camping next week too." Anaise was saying. "Guess that's out of the question."
Kim chuckled uneasily, glancing at me suddenly. I raised an eyebrow at her and she looked away, flushed. So Kim was in on the secret too and Anaise as well, if her sudden exclamation was anything to go by. I sighed and dug around in my bag for my MP3 player. It had a few games on it that would occupy me for awhile.
"Go ahead and talk." I told them. "I'm going to listen to music."
I ignored their slightly guilty, slightly offended looks and slipped my earphones in. I pressed random and smiled at the song that played. Paul was keeping a secret from me, I knew it. And the fact that the song was the first one to play randomly proved it to me. Sort of.
If I show you, then I know you won't tell what I've said
'Cause two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.
Song belongs to the Pierces. PLease read and review.