Six hours passed. Leafpool and Jaywing treated Honeyleaf for an emergency delivery. Something went wrong; one of the kittens was breached. They rescued her, but her brothers were stillborn. Birchfall and Honeyleaf mourned the loss of their sons. Bark-kit, a pale brown tabby she-cat, was welcomed into the world that much more because of the tragedy.

The following night was the half-moon. Mothwing reported that Pouncefoot was found dead at the Greenleaf Twoleg Place on their border. He drown in the lake somehow and Riverclan was distraught. Honeyleaf and I could not have been more relived.

Six days passed. Poppyspots had two healthy kits. Dapplekit is a black-flecked, golden brown tabby tom. Sunpaw takes after Lionblaze. She is a large, golden tabby she-cat and shares his amber eyes.

Six weeks passed. Foxpaw and Icepaw rescued Firestar after a huge raccoon injured him. They soon after earned their warrior names of Foxfur and Iceheart.

My two lovely kits were born. Whitekit is a very pale gray she-cat with dark blue eyes. Powderkit is a dark gray tabby tom with green eyes. I love them more than I thought ever possible. They were my heart and my soul. They were the things that gave my life meaning.

Six months passed. Welcome to present-day.

"Mother!" Two excited voices squealed in synchronization. I lifted my head from where I was hollowly sharing tongues with Ashfur to see our kits charging this direction. They had been with the elders, listening to stories about the old days.

Ashfur shot his head up and ordered sharply, "Slow down, you two!"

Our large kits were bundling straight for Millie and Graystripe's three kittens. Featherkit was a light gray she-cat with amber eyes. Silverkit was a silver tabby she-cat with amber eyes. Tallkit was a long-legged, solid gray tom with blue eyes. They were barely old enough to be out of the nursery at just a half moon in age, and they could be seriously injured if stepped on.

Whitekit skidded to a halt, grabbing Powderkit by his scruff to slow him down. They both ducked their heads under their father's stern look and padded carefully over to us.

"What's the hurry?" I asked them.

Powderkit's green eyes were glowing and he announced, "Firestar said we're becoming apprentices today!"

"Our mentors are picked out and everything!" Whitekit added gleefully. She raised her tail in pride and added, "I hope I get a good mentor. I want the best warrior to train me!"

"It's can't be Stormfur or Whitewing." Powderkit pointed out. "They have Dapplepaw and Sunpaw as apprentices."

His sister nodded. "Yes, and Sorreltail has Barkpaw."

I purred in amusement, assuring my kits, "All Thunderclan cats are great warriors. I'm sure whoever you get will train you two to be the best you can be."

Ashfur flicked his ears towards the highledge. "It looks like Firestar is ready. Come along, everyone."

Firestar called the clan meeting a moment later. I crossed the camp with my bundles of energy hopping at my sides. We three nestled in the shadow of the highledge, looking out upon the clans. I couldn't have felt any more proud then I did at that moment, seeing how happy everyone looked for this important ceremony to be taking place. Knowing that these were my kits being smiled upon by Starclan this morning.

Ashfur's eyes were sparkling with happiness, and I heard him purring something to Ferncloud, who smiled and nudged him heartily.

My focus was finally caught my Firestar's voice as he announced, "Mouseclaw! You are ready for your first apprentices, and you will be mentor to Whitepaw." I couldn't deny the thrill of joy I felt when my once almost-love strutted forward, touching noses with my daughter. Firestar continued, "You learned many valued skills from Spiderleg, and I expect you to pass them onto this apprentice."

The clan cheered for them, and Powderpaw jittered impatiently at my side, his eyes scanning the crowd. Firestar announced, "Lionfang! You are also ready for your first apprentice, and you will be mentor to Powderpaw." A purr escaped my throat, and Powderpaw's fur fluffed out happily as my brother proudly stalked forward. Powderpaw dashed over to greet him. Firestar announced, "Ashfur trained you well, and your strength is always an aid to the clan. I expect you to teach this young apprentice what his father taught to you."

Firestar sprang down from the ledge, signaling the end of the clan meeting. He brushed shoulders with Sandstorm and they headed out of the camp. Brambleclaw started barking out orders for the day's patrols and hunting assignments.

My ears perked when I heard my own name. "Hollythorn," my father spoke. "Would you like to lead a hunt today?"

I missed my warrior duties. I'd secret admit that it was better than I had ever expected to be a mother, but some part of my would always want to be patrolling the borders. Hunting for my clan. Fighting to protect my clan mates.

"Sure." I accepted happily. I'd get my chance to skirmish along the borders soon enough, once I lost all the softness in my muscles that develop when a she-cat becomes a queen. Chasing squirrels was good enough for me.

The clan began to break apart. A warm voice from my side made me stiffen. "Aren't they great?"

I glanced over my shoulder, finding Ashfur staring at our kits as they spoke with their new mentors. His deep blue eyes pierced my soul like a claw, and I fell into safe mode. Safe mode was what I called my need to do anything I had to if it meant keeping him happy. I never wanted to see dark-Ashfur again.

"Yes. They're great." I agreed, unable to stop my voice from trembling. As a queen I was constantly around someone else, and half the clan always had his or her spare eye on me. It was just how we worked, naturally protective of the cats that couldn't defend themselves, and all that.

Now that I was a warrior again my tormentor, my captor, had total and sole control over me again.

For the first time in two seasons, Ashfur brushed his cheek against mine. I flinched and my claws score the ground below them, forcing my body not to shy away. Last time he had done that… My fur prickled uncomfortably.

I tried to distract him. I whispered, "Are you coming on the hunting patrol with me, Ashfur?"

He blinked at me, looking surprised. "I'm leading the sunhigh patrol, I wouldn't have the time. Weren't you listening to Brambleclaw?"

I shook my head, "I was distracted. I don't know who is going where at all today."

Ashfur purred in amusement, "I see." He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment and suggested, "We can go out for a moonhigh stroll together tonight, if you're not too tired."

I forced myself to purr, and nodded stiffly. Ashfur pressed his nose against mine quickly before he bounded over to Spiderleg, Stormfur, and Dapplepaw. I let my muscles relax. At least for now, in any case.

I turned around to see Jaywing not two tail-lengths away, watching me with his sightless blue eyes. His tail tip was twitching quickly and his ears were perked, as if he had been listening to us.

I narrowed my eyes, panic with what he may have heard turning me hostile. My brother's uncanny ability to sense emotions... could he pick up on my fear? I snarled, "Why are you eavesdropping on my private conversation, Jaywing?"

He was unaffected by the barrier of aggression. He answered coolly, "Oh, was it private? I'm sorry, I didn't know that talking, rather loudly, in the center of the camp counted."

I frowned, my eyes darting side-to-side suspiciously. A few of the others were watching us curiously. I hissed furiously, under my breath of course, "Don't you have some herbs to go sort?" I whirled around and started to stalk to the warrior's den to collect a patrol.

"Hollythorn, wait!" My brother pled, racing to my side. I halted instinctively, glancing at him. He asked imploringly, "Is Ashfur-" Cutting himself off abruptly, he sighed. "Hey, just try to have some fun on the hunt, okay? You seem more... tense then usual." He flicked his tail at me and loped to Leafpool without another word passing between us.

I shook my head and slipped into the warrior's den. Only three cats in it, lazy lumps! It was barely morning. I invited, "Birchfall, Honeyleaf, Foxfur; would you like to come on the hunt with me?"

Foxfur sprang to his paws. "Sure, Hollythorn!" The bored young tom padded swiftly out of the den. He must have had a lot of pent up energy.

My friend and her mate followed us out of the camp. Soon, Foxfur and I had fallen behind the elder cats. Birchfall pressed his body gently against Honeyleaf's. They fell into step with each other and both purred quietly, seeming content and happy as they moved as one. My heart pulsated painfully as my longing for such a bond grew.

Birchfall had claimed Barkpaw as his own after he rescued Honeyleaf from her attacker, seven moons ago. He treated the young she-cat as if she really was his own. Such devotion to Honeyleaf- such love!

I knew I didn't need love or devotion. I did have that those. My problem was that while I felt so little pure love for Ashfur, he felt two times too much for it to be healthy. For it to be safe.

Well, that's wasn't really true, was it? Did I really hate Ashfur, even after what he had done to me; or did I just hate it that he couldn't bear to let go of that enticing grip he had on me?

Was it possible that I cared about him in such an unconventional and abstract way, that I didn't even realize it?

Well, I guess that's what blinded by love really meant at the end of the day.

AN: Hey, guys! How many of you would read this story, if I wrote it in Ashfur's POV?