Lavi was a fucking lunatic. Case closed, no questions asked.

Kanda stared at the growing pile of bottles, empty martini glasses, olives all over the floor around them, and even the bartender was beginning to get annoyed with him for making her walk back and forth. His dark blue eyes gazed at the own bottle in his hand, a beer suggested by the 'lunatic', and his extremely small pile of empty beer glass bottles. And what was worst, he was totally, inescapablydrunk. And what about Lavi? He could probably run a marathon, acting like he was drinking water or something. 'Stupid bastard…stupid high freaking tolerance! He's worse then Cross!'

"So why are you in here anyways?" asked Lavi, popping one of the olives in his mouth only to spit it across the room. "Ew, don't eat those…"

"…I have to be in here for a reason?" Kanda said, resting his chin against the countertop to soothe his pounding, foggy head.

"Uh, dude, ya. Bars are like safe havens when your life just got screwed over or you got married." Lavi chuckled, pushing one of the fancy blue bottles to the pile.

"Why are you in here then smartass?" 'Did you get fired at the pirate store or what?'

"I'm in here because I don't have anything better to do and my grandfather's dying and honestly, I think it's weird that I just don't give a shit. Don't you? I mean if you're old, old man was dying, would you be sad?"

Kanda didn't even have to think about it. "No."

"Huh, weirdo…ok I answered, now you." Lavi inched closer, propping his chin up with an elbow, a toothpick sticking from the corner of his mouth. Kanda knew there was no avoiding the question now, and he exhaled deeply, pushing his drink away.

"I hate women." Kanda stated simply.

Lunatic was an understatement.

Lavi made a horrified face and practically swallowed his toothpick whole, thumping his fist against the table to stop from chocking on the piece of wood designed to get the crap from you teeth. Some of the older men sitting on the table in the far back peeked over their chairs, murmuring amongst themselves. Kanda felt his eye twitch slightly.

"Will you shut up?" he hissed, giving the red head a small kick to the leg. "Seriously, you're causing a commotion."

"You," Lavi finally wheezed, "hate women?"

"Nooo I just didn't admit that!" Kanda snorted sarcastically. "Why does it bother you so much anyways?"

There was a heavy silence in the air, and Lavi leaned even closer in his seat, placing a hand like a barrier on the left side of his mouth. "Man…are you gay?" he whispered grinning ear to ear.

Kanda could feel his brain just stop working, the little light in his head flickering dangerously. It was like someone had shoved a huge question mark in his head and he found himself gaping, unable to get a damn word out his mouth.

'The fuck? Work you goddamn mouth!'

Lavi's visible eye was gleaming again and he smirked widely. "Shit, that's kind of turning me on Kanda…"

"No," Kanda sputtered, his attempt to sound angry failing miserably. "I'm not gay, I just don't like women."

"You sure?"

"Yes, now shut up already!"

"Huh, so why are you blushing? Hmmm? You trying to hide something?" Lavi giggled like a madman. "That's cool, don't worry. Oh hey, I think you should ask for the tab now…"

"Lady!" Kanda barked, his face crimson red as he bolted up from his seat. "Tab!"

And if fate did not hate him enough, the lady took her sweet ass time to get the book and she threw it across the table. "Credit card sweetheart? I doubt you have that much money on ya cash…"

Lavi scratched the side of his head, whistling nervously as Kanda flipped open the black notebook.

"Um, you want me to give you a ride home? I'm totally sober!"

The dark haired man was glaring dangerously at him, nearly ripping the receipt in half as he slapped his credit card onto the table. 'Three hundred fucking dollars…that bastard, that complete bastard.' "Yes you are giving me the stupid ass ride home!' He growled, shoving his card back into his pocket as the bartender handed it back.

"Hooray!" Lavi laughed, running in the direction of his transportation. Kanda grudgingly followed muttering swear words under his breath, pausing as he saw the red head jerk to a stop. "Why'd we stop here?"

"This is my ride!" said Lavi, pointing to the deep red Lexus and he jerked the car down open. "What you think I was a poor hobo or something?"

"…it's said DUMB BLN on the license plate…." Kanda stated, pointing to the bumper.

Lavi stiffened slightly and then began laughing, already messing with the cars wires. "Ok, whatever you caught me. But hey, rich kids always say they want to help the environment so here ya go! I'm doing them a big favor!"

Kanda could not help but stop the corners of his lips from grinning. 'God this guy's crazy…and we just met too…why the hell should I even trust him?'

"Oi, hurry up in get in! I seriously do NOT feel like going to jail." He interrupted, the car's engine roaring to life.

"Are you sure you sober enough? I don't want to go to the hospital. I have work tomorrow."

"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching." Lavi grinned brilliantly, and Kanda rolled his eyes, the words deepening into his mind.

How true.

Pain. Shit, so much freaking pain. Kanda's eyes opened wearily, his vision adjusting to the familiar white ceiling. His head was throbbing unbearably, his stomach heaving and relaxing every few seconds. His skin felt cold, his bangs sticking from sweat to his forehead. He rest there for a few minutes to gain his strength back, and let out a grunt as he lifted his body off the bed.

Too fast.

Kanda barley made it to the toilet and hurled, shutting his eyes tightly at the grimacing taste. "Crap…stupid hangover…" He murmured, grabbing a towel off the rack and wiping his mouth. Stripping, he stepped into the shower, feeling the hot water run over his body, soothing his sore muscles. It had been awhile since he had drunk anything alcoholic, and despite the pain afterward, it was worth it.

Drying his skin and slipping a simple, black shirt on and a pair of dark jeans, he sighed, scratching the side of his head. 'I can't believe I did that last night…what DID I do last night?'

Kanda jerked to stop as he saw a note hanging on the inside of his doorway.

Kanda,

Nice apartment you have! Love the total boringness.

Whatever though, we should definitely hang out again.

Call me or I'll stalk you sorry ass. BTW, I work in the local library.

You better visit. My number's on the back of the card.

Your new best friend, Lavi.

Kanda instantly slipped over the note card and snorted as he memorized the numbers with ought a problem.

Your new best friend Lavi.

"Huh, my fifth friend in the eighteen years of my life. I'm getting good at this." Kanda grinned and walked out the door.

A/N: Lavi is such an idiot sometimes it's adorable. Hmmm, I'll update when I get new ideas! Review please!!!!