"Coach?" Kanda asked skeptically. "Why do you think I need a freaking coach?"

It was a chilly morning, the oak trees covered in powdery white snow and pure ice. The two were sitting on one of the round couches inside the coffee shop which smelled heavily with a mixture of aromas and the warmth was inevitable. There weren't many other people inside, except for a male who typing on his computer so fast it was difficult to keep up with his fingers. There was heavy silence until, naturally, Lavi broke it with his laughter.

"Trust me Yu, you need one! You're too wound up and this fear you have towards females' isin't…human…"

"Ya but that's way too—the fuck? Did you just call me Yu?"

"Yes, yes I did. Want me to call you Doctor Love instead Yu?"

"Shut up moron. Why the hell do you just love making me want to hurt you?" Kanda seethes, placing his coffee onto the table with unnecessary force. "How old are you anyways?"

"Old enough to drink," Lavi winks, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Anyways, there's nothing wrong with a getting a love coach! I know the perfect man too!"

"…that sounded really gay…" 'Love coach? Absolutely not.'

"Aren't you going to even ask me who the guy is?" The red head whined lightly, kicking his feet under the table as he blew bubbles into the coffee, causing the whip cream to spew everywhere.

"I'm guessing no matter what I say you're going to tell me anyways."

"Me!"

"Gasp! Really? I would have never expected that!" Kanda spoke with mock interest, flinging his plastic spoon at the 'lunatics' head. "No, I don't need a stupid coach and no way in hell I'm getting the pirate womanizer."

"Wow Yu, if you wore a dress or a skirt and continued nagging like that, I'd think you were a woman! And I'm not the immature one who is still refusing to get a lover, ok?"

Kanda scowled. "Dude, I've only known you for a few weeks. Don't get too full of yourself."

"Hm, aw does the Doctor need a hug?"

"No."

"Yes you do Yu! Come here! Give your coach a hug!"

"Stay away from me or I'll kick you in the dick so hard—Lavi! Get the hell off of me!" Kanda squirmed as he was pulled into a bone crushing embrace. The close intimacy wasn't the problem, no, it was more the fact that Kanda was trying not to screech in rage and smack the red head in the place where no man should ever be hit.

Another second passed by and outside birds fluttered at the sound of Kanda's screams of disapproval and Lavi's screams of pain.

Wonderful way to start a day. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[1:37PM Wednesday, December 23]

The First Test:

"We are going to get our sorry asses arrested…I don't see why I have to do this Baka Usagi…" Kanda's face had turned a numerous shades of colors as he glanced at the dress in his hands. "This is gay, this is really, really gay!"

"You'll enjoy yourself once inside! Trust me, have I ever been wrong?"

"Oh Christ, someone please shoot me before I strangle you with your eye patch!"

"Get your panties out of a twist, buck up, and put the stupid dress on Yu or so help me, I'll strip you myself!" Lavi rolled his eyes as the long haired man flinched, fighting the urge to smile or laugh. "And stop moping, and be bitchier, like most women."

"Can't I do anything else? Like watch a chick flick or something? This is disgusting…fucking wrong in so many ways too…"

"There you go! You're acting like a woman already!" Lavi tapped his chin thoughtfully for a moment, before snapping his fingers and walking beside the blushing, infuriated blue haired man. Before he could respond, Lavi had snapped his hair band, and his hair fell gracefully over his back and shoulders.

'Damn, I'm getting turned on already!' Lavi chuckled inwardly. 'Oh well, let's see how the plan goes…'

"I look like…a muscular chick…this is never going to work Baka…" Kanda moaned in agony, walking out of the room a few minutes later, with the dress on and black boots that went up to his knees. "I don't want to goddamn it! Doesn't my opinion mean anything?!"

"No. Not at all." Said Lavi, walking around Kanda, inspecting his work. "Jesus, you could actually be a professional cross-dresser! Huh, like that one hot dude from Antic Café…what's his name again…?"

"Get on with it!" Kanda barked.

"Owie, ok here's the plan again. Get inside the building, pretend you read the stupid book, act interested, um do some small talk and if one of the ladies invites you again we are in the clear. Got it?"

"…is it too late to regret my decision on making you my friend? I mean, please, it's a WOMEN'S book club, and if they find out I'm a man, they'll call the cops."

"Don't get caught then."

"I don't look like a chick you fucking retard!"

"…Lying is also a wonderful quality as a woman…"

"Shut up! I'm a fucking full fledged, respected doctor being forced to wear this gay dress and barge into the gay building to chat about gay things!"

"Books are not GAY, thank you very much! Now move it, or you're going to be late!" Lavi snarled, which was very unlike him but he was starting to become irritated. "You want to overcome this hatred, then hurry up and do it."

Kanda inhaled sharply, rubbing his temples, considering his options and reluctantly stalked across the street towards the gray building. 'This isn't going to work, this isn't going to work, that retard us going to get me in jail…'

One of the girls standing outside the door sent him a polished smile. "Newcomer? Just sign in your name there and go through those doors. I hope you're ready to read!" She smiled again and gave him thumbs up.

Kanda chuckled weakly, signing 'Emily' into the sign in sheet. At least if he went to jail, his receptionist would get dragged with him.

Instantly, as the doors opened, a thick aroma of perfume and baking goods filled his nose and he held in his gag, taking a seat by the wall for comfort. There were a few younger kids there, probably dragged in judging by their expressions, and the head lady walked to the center of the room.

"All right let's begin—!" She was cut off as the door once again opened.

"Ah, sorry I'm late!" A melodious voice rang through the air.

Kanda felt the blood freeze in his veins as his eyes gazed upon the person who had just walked into the room.

The moment his eyes collided with her face, he knew he was going to kill Lavi, he knew he was going to die, he knew goddamit that the only way out of this hell, before she saw him was getting through that door.

And he had to do it really freaking fast before she recognized him.

Lenalee Lee had just arrived.

A/N: Cliffhanger! Ah, I am sooo mean sometimes. I was going to update a lot sooner but school started again, and it's difficult to use the computer. Hope you enjoy and comments are much loved! Sorry for the wait and lol to my best friend, and she KNOWS who it is, I had to change the ending a bit cause I got a new idea that you will love! XD