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Wedding 2 – Atypical Jewish Wedding, part 3

You Can't Choose Family

Flying back to Middleton every weekend for wedding planning proved exhausting for Bonnie. Sometimes, when she grew tired and cranky, she yelled at Ron. He responded to her stress by giving her a back rub, and then cooking some wonderful treat which would remind her of why she wanted to marry him.

Bonnie took most of the responsibilities on herself because she avoided her family as much as possible. And because she took so many burdens on herself some tasks were occasionally overlooked in the hurry to get others done. One Saturday afternoon, with Ron at his parent's house getting the names and addresses of relatives for the invitations, Bonnie was startled to realize she still didn't have bridesmaids.

"Kim, will you be my maid of honor?"

"Wouldn't having kids make me matron of honor?"

"Look, I don't care what you call it. Will you do it?"

Kim smiled, "It would be an honor. How many are you having?"

"I wanted to ask about that. I mean, I don't really need any. I remember one freakishly huge Catholic wedding where they each must have had six or seven. You lost the bride and groom in the crowd."

"It's your wedding. How many do you want? I don't think you want more than three each in the loft. It's a small wedding, one for each of you would be fine," Kim suddenly giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"Did Ron tell you he asked me to be best man?"

"He what!"

"I turned him down. I thought you might not appreciate it. I had asked him to be best man for me at my wedding."

"You're making even less sense that usual, Possible. You asked him to be your best man?"

"Yeah, but Monique vetoed it. Said I had to go with all male or all female attendants."

Bonnie rubbed a hand over her face in exasperation, "I miss Mon. Now I feel like the only sane person at the asylum. Ron asked you to be best man? Why?"

"You've been encouraging him to do more with the planning."

"Now I know why women plan weddings. But, back to how many attendants should I have… Two? I could ask Tara. Three? Ask Shego? What do you think?"

"I think you need to ask Lonnie and Connie."

"NO!"

"They're family."

"They made life at home hell for me. They're the reason I wanted to move in here."

"And for that I'm grateful. Look, I know they made your life miserable. But family is still family. You need to ask."

"No I don't!"

"Yes, because you're better than they are."

As Kim and Bonnie argued at the big house Ron had his own battles going on at the Stoppable home.

"I won't wear a dress!" Hana punctuated the statement by stamping her foot on the floor. "I won't!"

Ron looked to his mother for help, "Sorry, dear. But you know that since the day she started dressing herself she hasn't wanted to wear dresses."

"But she sometimes does."

Ron's mom gave him a wry grin, "It always takes a fight. How much struggle do you want on your wedding day?"

"You wouldn't even do it for me?" Ron asked his sister, doing his best imitation of Kim's puppy dog pout.

"I won't wear a dress!"

"So, you're coming to my wedding naked?"

She hesitated, "What are you going to wear?"

"I'm going to rent a tuxedo."

"I want a tuxedo! What's a tuxedo?"

"It's like a fancy suit. The groom's friends wear them."

"I want a tuxedo."

Ron glanced at his mom, who nodded her head, "Yes," telling him he could accept the tux for his little sister.

"Okay," Ron sighed, "the flower girl can wear a tuxedo."

"No! I don't want to be a flower girl."

"Do you want to come to my wedding?"

"Yes. But I don't want to be a flower girl."

Ron sighed, "Look, if you were my brother I'd ask you to be best man, but--"

"I want to be best man."

"Not an option, short stack. Felix has already agreed… Do you want to be ring bearer?"

"What's a ring bearer?"

"You carry in the rings. I was going to have Felix hold Bonnie's ring for me. The best man often guards the ring. It's very important. We can't do the wedding without the rings. Do you think you could do it? Are you big enough?"

"Can I, please?"

"I dunno, it's really important. The whole wedding would depend on you doing a good job."

"Please, Ron-san, please?" Hana was bouncing up and down now with eagerness.

"Hana-chan," Ron said solemnly. "Do you swear on your honor as a Stoppable to faithfully execute the duties of the ring bearer should your older brother, who loves you very, very much, ask you to serve as ring bearer?"

"I do! I do! I do!"

"It sounds like she's practicing for her own wedding," Rachel Stoppable laughed.

Ron drew a pen from his pocket and, holding it at arm's length, gently tapped Hana on both shoulders and the top of her head, "Then, by the power vested in me as groom, I hereby name you Lord of the Rings."

Hana bowed deeply, "I am honored. Will you ask Sheki to be flower girl? She is a girl."

"So is her sister - whose feelings might be hurt if we ask Sheki but not Kasy.

"That is true," Hana replied.

Ron smiled, his little sister often acted wise far beyond her years. "We need someone to carry the rings. We don't need to have a flower girl. Should we do without a flower girl or ask them both? I will let Hana-chan decide this very important question."

Hana bowed again, and Ron returned the bow, "I will not fail you," she promised.

He mussed her dark hair, "I do not think you could fail me if you tried," he assured her.

"Why would I try to fail?" she asked, puzzled.

"And you need to consider cousin Natanya for flower girl," Ron's mom reminded her son and daughter. "She's family."

"Well, most people think I'm the father of Kasy and Sheki," Ron reminded her. "So they think the twins are family."

Rachel sighed, "Yes, and that causes all sorts of gossip. Can you and Kim come up with some official story so we can end the rumors?"

"We'll try, I promise."

"Okay. Now, I've got the family names for wedding invitations for you."

Ron moved to the dining room table where his mother had three pages of printouts of names and addresses. "Mom, Bonnie and I really wanted to keep this small and simple."

"This is short," she insisted. "But you have to invite your uncles and aunts, and their kids, you--"

"Cousin Sean isn't on this printout, is he?"

"Of course he is. He's the son of your father's oldest sister. How could you even think of not inviting your cousin?"

"Oh, I don't know. How about the fact HE'S A MONSTER!"

"Ronald, please do not use that tone of voice."

"Mom, this is supposed to be one of the ten happiest days of my life. If cousin Sean is there I'll be worrying about where he hid the explosives."

"Do you remember what happened at your aunt Aviva's wedding? It wasn't Sean who caused the problem."

"I'd been hit by the attitudinator. I wasn't myself."

"Sean is family."

"Sean is evil!"

"You were invited back, even after you wrecked the first ceremony."

"I was evil because I wasn't me. Sean is evil because he is me… er him. I mean, he's evil."

"Please watch you language, Ron. Little pitchers have big ears."

"Ah, Mom, did you have to make the joke about my ears?"

"I'm talking about a little person hearing her older brother say things that poison her mind toward her cousin."

"She needs to be warned!"

"He's family."

"I won't invite cousin Sean."

--

Leaving the house Ron wondered how to avoid the promise to his mother to invite cousin Sean. If the gink were a little older, and on his own, Ron could 'lose' the invitation on the way to the post office. But Ron had to invite aunt Tzippy, and that meant… cousin Sean. "Should have told Mom they'd all be cheering if someone had the guts to tell that rotten kid to stay home."

Ron found a note from Kim on the kitchen table when he got home. She and Shego had taken the kids over to her parents for dinner. The note warned him she had convinced Bonnie to go talk with her sisters.

Ron had been home almost an hour when he heard the door slam loudly. "Where is Kim!" Bonnie shouted.

Ron came out from the living room, where he had been watching television. "They're all over with Kim's parents."

"The twins aren't here?"

"The twins aren't here."

"Ron, will you still love me if I swear at you?"

"Say what?"

"Ron, I'm mad. I'm so mad I'm going to lose my mind if I don't let it out."

"At me?"

"Not at you, it's my fucking sisters."

"Swear at me all you need."

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! HOW DARE YOU! I COULD KILL YOU!"

"Feel any better?"

"A little, thanks. I really want to hit somebody. Do you still have your padded protective suit from when you helped Shego teach that women's self-defense class at the high school?"

"Kim and I went up against some really tough gangs without padded suits," Ron pointed out. "You really think I need to wear it?"

"I don't want to take a chance on hurting you."

"It's in my closet. I'll wear it if you really think it will make you feel better to hit somebody."

"Please."

They went up the back stairs to Ron's room. She sat on his desk chair while he put the bulky garment on. "Did Kim and Shego ever tell you what they were doing that got them into trouble with Barkin?"

"No, but it doesn't take much to get on his list."

"Yeah, but for Shego to agree to teach that class… He had to have something on her - or them."

In its normal condition, as it was that evening, the loft had three or four computers along one side with mats covering the middle of the floor. Kim, Shego, and Ron all sparred regularly, and even the twins were starting to train in martial arts. Shego wanted to teach them mastery of a 'pure' style while Kim wanted to introduce them to the eclectic style she preferred for herself. Sometimes the sparring continued, on a verbal level, long after the workouts in the loft.

"Bonnie," Ron requested as he stood nervously in the middle of the mat and waited for her assault. "You love me right?"

"I love you Ron. And that's why I'm going to try and beat the crap out of you."

"Uh, does that make sense to you?"

"Sorry. I mean, because you love me you'll let me work this through."

"There are better ways of relieving frustration," he suggested.

"Later, right now… You're sure you can protect yourself?"

"Sure, you hit like a girl."

Maybe Bonnie had been keeping the frustration bottled up inside and it suddenly broke out. Maybe Ron had chosen a particularly unfortunate phrase to say he was ready. All he knew was that he was not as ready as he had thought for the flurry of blows and kicks coming at him. Her initial attack drove Ron back and he struggled to make his way back to the center of the mat under assault.

Ron would not go on the offensive. He was simply letting Bonnie blow off some steam. But he felt distinctly grateful for the fact he had the body armor on. In retrospect Ron and Bonnie realized it had been a bad idea. Bonnie needed to hurt, crush, break, or destroy something to work off her feelings of anger. She didn't want to hurt Ron, and that might have made her hold back at first. Ron had the skills to keep from being injured, and padded body armor. Somehow the fact she was trying, and Ron simply deflected or avoided her attacks began to frustrate Bonnie more - on top of her initial frustration. As Bonnie lost control she began trying hard to hit Ron, and soon he was struggling to keep from getting hurt.

Neither heard the downstairs door open as Kim and Shego arrived home with the twins. The twins were supposed to go to bed, but Kasy had to investigate the sounds from overhead. Ron and Bonnie were too intent on their goals of attack and defense to notice the little redhead at the top of the steps looking at them. The little girl ran downstairs to alert Kim and Shego that, "Daddy and Bonnie aren't playing nice upstairs."

"You weren't looking in Bonnie's bedroom, were you?"

"No. Upstairs. In the loft."

Shego chuckled, "Couldn't make it down to the bedroom."

"Shego, please," Kim hissed. Curious about what was happening, and whether Bonnie and Ron could possibly be doing what Shego seemed to imagine Kim told the green woman to watch Kasy and headed upstairs.

Neither Ron nor Bonnie initially noticed Kim, who watched them curiously. Then Bonnie caught a glimpse of Kim, "This is your fault," she screamed.

The fact Bonnie was screaming at someone behind him got Ron curious, and when he turned to see who was there a kick caught him squarely in the stomach. Even through the padded suit the blow knocked him flat. Bonnie was on him immediately. "I'm sorry! Did I hurt you? Are you all right?"

Ron was too busy trying to catch his breath to answer immediately. And Bonnie burst into tears. Sitting up after a kick to the stomach, especially with a crying fiancée on top you, isn't easy - but Ron managed. He held the trembling brunette in his arms.

Kim approached the pair cautiously. "Are you all right?"

"Bonnie doesn't seem very happy," Ron reported. If Kim was going to ask obvious questions he was going to give the obvious answer.

"Can I--"

"Why don't you go downstairs," Ron suggested. "I'm not sure who she's angry with, but you may be in the top five right now."

"I'm sorry," Kim said softly before slipping away.

The bulky padded suit Ron wore made it a little difficult, but he picked up Bonnie and carried the crying woman down to her bedroom.

--

Author's Note: What Barkin had on Shego to blackmail her into teaching the girl's self-defense class at the high school, was in "What Did You Learn in School Today?" if you're interested.