Author's Notes:
After I revised it, this chapter became so long, it's now been split up into two separate chapters or parts, lmao. I didn't get to explain nearly as much as I wanted to so instead, I thought two pretty nice sized chapters would do.
More AN's at the bottom so enough talking. Enjoy.
Sephiroth's Guide to Marriage and Revenge
Chapter One: Anxiety Pt. 1
"Marry me Cloud."
The entire room had grown so quiet as everyone waited anxiously for the blond's answer. "He's going to say yes," Sora whispered as softly as he could to Riku, smiling a little before the latter gave a bit of a chuckle and added "After all the crap I went through to plant the ring there? He better."
Though it wasn't like Sora was wrong: it was practically a given that Cloud was going to say yes, though the blond could prove to be an upset and say no. Though Riku certainly didn't want to be anywhere near their mother's if anything of the sort happened, let alone Sephiroth.
The blond had taken a few more moments to stare at long term boyfriend, before he finally opened his mouth to respond.
"Sephiroth--"
"Rikku's having the baby!" Selphie screamed with excitement, leaping to her feet and pointing at the blond who gave the girl an annoyed glance before wincing in pain, breathing rather hard as she stubbornly tried to stay in her seat despite Vincent gently taking the girl into his arms and lifting her up gently.
"Vincent!"
"We must depart Rikku, I've told you." he stated firmly and she tried to squirm but instead winced as she felt yet another contraction. "I wanna here--oh crap this hurts! Nevermind! Don't care! Need a doctor. Oh goodness!"
"Honey, get the car!" Mrs. Madison cried as she and Mrs. London leapt back to their feet alarmed, DiZ already moving through the row to get out while Mr. London followed him.
"Pain--!" Ri exclaimed desperately, looking up at the stage in time to see Cloud lean in to Sephiroth and mutter his answer gently, Zack throwing up his hands and rolling his eyes, clearly annoyed that he couldn't hear a thing.
Sephiroth's expression didn't change to give any indication of the decision. He only leaned forward and whispered something in Cloud's ear, the blond nodding before the pair escorted themselves off stage, Zack and Reno following the pair and coming over to the small group that had poured out into the aisle, all trying to help escort Rikku out of the building.
"A little less fussing over me, a little faster getting me to medication!" Rikku snapped, angrily. "I think the baby hates me! It's trying to kill me, someone make it stop!"
"Come on guys, move out of the way and let him through," Cloud frowned as Vincent held her in his arms, ignoring her cries of anguish as he carefully but as quickly as possible, began to carry her out of the building.
"We'll meet you at the hospital," Aerith cried out as Zack and Reno walked over to her and their small group, already making their way for an exit. Riku looked over at Sora, who was looking over at their group of friends.
"You coming?" Riku called and Tidus shook his head. "There's too many people going now and we don't want to crowd."
"We'll come later when everything's settled down," Lulu muttered gently and Selphie nodded, gitty. "But call us with updates or I'll beat you guys up!"
Riku nodded as Sora pulled him along, following their elder brothers, Axel and Roxas outside, hearing Ri fuss all the way about everyone panicking and thus, keeping her from her medication longer.
Just as they got to the walkway, DiZ pulled up with the family van and Vincent gently placed her inside as everyone dispersed to their own means of transportation, Cloud immediately heading toward his motorcycle while Sephiroth followed, Riku and Sora hopping into the car with Axel and Roxas.
Other than nearly hitting several cars along the way, they all successfully made it to the hospital around two in the afternoon.
By that point, Rikku was practically two steps away from having her heard spin around in a complete 180 while foaming at the mouth, she was screaming in pain from the contraptions. . She was immediately escorted into the labor and delivery room, screaming and yelling all the way. Vincent, along with Mrs. Madison and Mrs. London, quickly followed her to give support. Everyone else simply went to the waiting area as they arrived, save DiZ and Mr. London, who decided to walk and discuss things in private.
There, the group waited for a few hours, one by one or in groups drifting off to other places either in the hospital or outside of it to find places to eat or buy little gifts for the baby and Rikku.
Before anyone knew it, it was seven thirty and the only people left in the room were Sora and Riku, who had currently stepped out to get himself and the brunette a drink and was making his way back at the moment, sighing in exhaustion.
He turned his attention to the cups of hot chocolate he was holding, focusing on the gentle ringlets that foamed and lazily made their way outward. He thought back to a few hours ago, when out of boredom, he, Sora, Axel and Roxas went into Ri's labor room just to see where she was on the entire process.
It had been…an event to say the least.
"Please kill me!" Rikku screamed in agony, sobbing as her mother whispered gentle things in her ear, making the girl glare at her mother angrily. "I don't want to hear your crap about how everything is going to be alright! I want to get this thing out of me already! Why can't I start pushing yet!?"
"Your only at 8 centimeters honey," Mrs. London told her smoothly. "You have to wait until your at least 10 before the doctor will feel comfortable--"
"Oh, I'm so happy that I have to wait until that jackass feels comfortable before we can have my baby," she snarled angrily, pausing to squeal in anger and pain as she felt yet another contraction, her longest thus far.
"Honey, just calm down," her mother tried but Ri only gasped in pain, trying to control her breathing and glaring daggers. "Does it look like I can 'calm down' mother?! Give…me…a break!"
"We're at nine centimeters doctor!" the nurse cried and Ri gave a sarcastic 'hooray' as she took Vincent's hand into her own and squeezed with all her might as she felt another contraction. She looked at him in the eyes, as seriously as she could. "Please kill me."
"Everything will be fine Rikku," he replied softly, in a comforting tone and for the once, the girl seemed to calm down. He kneeled next to her bed and leaned in close, speaking to her gently and privately in her ear, caressing her arm gently in a form of comfort.
He did this until finally, the doctor came to her side and announced that everyone needed to depart the room for a moment.
"No!" Ri complained, grabbing on to Vincent's hand tighter if that was even possible.
The doctor, however, didn't seem phased or troubled by her demeanor. He simply chuckled lightly and explained calmly. "I want to give you an epidural for the pain, so this birth will be a little easier on you. I'm asking your family and friends to leave so you won't be distracted as your administered the drug."
"No (gasp) more (growl) pain?!" she demanded and he nodded. She instantly let go of Vincent's hand before screaming "Get the fuck out!"
The quartet were already listening at the door as the trio filed out, everyone waiting outside as they listened carefully to the room. They didn't have to wait long.
"Get that crap away from me!" they heard her scream at the top of her lungs and Vincent immediately sprang toward the door to go back inside but was stopped by Ri's mother, the small gathering still listening to what was unfolding inside.
"There's no need to get upset Ms. Madison, this is standard procedure." the doctor explained. "it's an anesthetic injection that has to be given in to the spine, into the space between the outer membrane covering of the spinal cord and the overlying bones of the spine."
"Don't care, get it away from me!" Ri screamed. "I hate needles, that thing is huge, I'll just deal with the pain, just get that thing away from me!"
"Are you sure? Once we get started fully with this procedure, we won't be able to administer it later."
"Yes, whatever, I need Vincent, please just get Vincent in here so I can give birth to vampire baby!"
Everyone slowly looked over at Vincent, who's only reply was "A private joke."
"Right," her mother nodded gently, still watching Vincent rather wearily before she went back into the room, Vincent and Mrs. London following before the latter turned to the boys, frowning a little. "Go back to waiting room boys, you'll only aggravate her at this point."
With that, she shut the door quietly behind her, the boys simply staring at one another before they departed back for the waiting room.
Riku blinked out of his thoughts, the sweet aroma of the cocoa he was holding reminding him of the beautiful shade of brown…it reminded him of the shorter teen that awaited his return in the small waiting room.
He gazed around the hallways quickly before pausing in the doorway of the very waiting room, seeing a single soul left. He sat by the window, gazing at the last remnants of the setting sun, fidgeting slightly in his seat.
Riku smiled.
Sora couldn't help but look ridiculously adorable. His wide sapphire eyes seemed to emit his sleepy excitement--Sora hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, not to mention loosing his lunch from all the odd turns and speeding Axel had done along the way, the boy seemed exhausted.
Riku stepped into the room and those same eyes seemed to magically light up a moment, all the sleep fading from them for an instance before it slowly crept back on the boy, returning, but not at all hindering his enthusiasm as he got to his feet and met Riku partway across the room.
Riku found bliss in being able to move Sora with just his presence--he wasn't egotistical about such things mind you, it was just the simple thought of a single person caring about him so much that his mere presence brightened their mood, even if it seemed like it was the happiest it could be at the moment.
"Got you some cocoa," he stated simply and Sora's trademark smile beamed on his face. "Thanks Ku, I could use a perk me up."
He nodded and passed over the drink before giving him a quizzical look. "Sora, is there something on your mind?"
Sora adverted his eyes for a moment before shrugging as the pair began to walk back to their seats. Riku thought briefly that maybe they should shut the door--this was a private waiting room reserved for Rikku's family and friends so no one could just walk in and out of it like an ordinary one--but then thought better of it.
Though as the pair were just getting comfortable, they looked up just in time to see Cloud storm by, looking flushed and aggravated followed quickly by Leon, neither paying attention to the room, let alone the pair in it. The pair listened to their angry footfalls disappear down the hall before Riku finally spoke.
"What's his problem," Riku muttered and Sora sighed a little. "Remember when I left to go the restroom?"
Riku nodded.
"He came in looking for Cloud. He never said why but he looked really upset. I told him I didn't know and he just stormed out. Guess he must have found him though," Sora strangely detached. "If I had to guess, I'd say it's because of Cloud possibly saying yes to your brother's proposal."
Riku wasn't remotely surprised.
Certainly Leon had moved on (or so he said) with Seifer but it was still very obvious that he had some left feelings for Cloud. And even if not, he made it no secret that he didn't like Sephiroth anymore than he had when they'd first met and that he still had reservations about Cloud being with him.
"Not like it matters," Riku finally replied, speaking his exact thought at the moment. "If they are going to be together and that's what they want, then it's the only thing that should matter: their happiness."
"…Wish Kairi had learned that," Sora muttered darkly and Riku softened instantly. "Don't think about her Sora, it'll ruin an otherwise great day."
Sora gave a rather curt laugh. "I figured at this point you'd be asking to talk about her Ku. About everything."
Sora looked a little hurt and Riku immediately regretted his words. "I didn't mean I didn't want to listen, I just don't you to get upset Sora."
The brunette gave a small, grateful smile that seemed to fade almost instantly.
"I know Ku. It's just…it's not easy." Sora admitted, looking down at his drink as Riku watched him intently. "It's like trying to forgot something you don't want to think about…which causes you to think about it even more. And you don't want to talk about it because then you have to think about it." He paused, looking miserable. "It's like I can't win."
Riku's gaze shifted away from the brunette and into his own dark thoughts. He's done a good job thus far completely ignoring that fact that Kairi existed, let alone actually bringing her up.
It hadn't been easy at first, but Riku had gotten rather good at simply not thinking about the girl or anything she'd done to him: it only put him in a fowl mood and made him angry to think of everything she'd done. Not only to him, but all the people he cared about around him as well.
Though it was inevitable really: Selphie had already brought her up once in a random conversion, not to mention that his constant concern over the fact that Sora, a person who was a lot better at convey and sharing his feelings was choosing to hide them to the point of pretending nothing was wrong, kept the red head on his mind.
And even if that weren't the case, then the impending trial would certainly keep her memory and her betrayals fresh in his mind.
Her trail was suppose to have happened months ago, last winter to be exact. And now they wouldn't be going to court until the end of the summer in the last week of July. Kairi's lawyer had postponed and prolonged justice as long as he possibly could, trying to buy more time to possibly find a way to get her out of the mess she was in and give her the proper defense she needed--or rather, get Sora and Riku to cut a deal..
The latter hadn't gone over so well initially.
Her father had relented on letting Kairi just 'sit and fry' thanks to his wife's pleading requests and the pair were actively trying to help her the very best way they knew how--neither wanted their daughter in jail for the rest of her life but her father at least, still wanted to see her punished for the crimes she committed--he wanted her to understand what she did was wrong.
Her mother however, refused to believe any of the 'lies' either he or Sora had been saying about her daughter and completely trusted Kairi's word. She defended her daughter at every turn and continued to stand by her with blind faith.
Riku couldn't blame her he supposed--she was her daughter after all. His parents would probably be hard pressed to believe anything that despicable if someone told them he'd done it as well.
Regardless, the Doss', along with Kairi's lawyer, invited Sora, Riku and their parents to sit down and hammer out the details of the deal. They all agreed to meet at the Destiny Island Courthouse, which was right by the Juvenile Center--where Kairi was being held for the moment since Xemnas, their lawyer, insisted she stay, only to be spoken to by himself and her lawyer on any and all terms and proceedings she need agree to.
At first, it wasn't so bad.
Sora, though obviously shaken by the events in general, tried to be done with the situation as quickly as possible. Despite it all, he didn't believe she could get any help rotting away in a prison cell, so he agreed that as long as she stayed away from him and Riku (far far away), that he would be willing to agree to a lighter sentence--as long as she was in an institution where she could get professional help for her 'problems'.
Riku had practically wanted to strangle Sora--he couldn't fairly say Sora was just as naïve has he had been when this entire incident started, but that huge heart Sora seemed to have was maybe a little too big. It was the exact reason why Kairi was able to get away with so much in the first place: Sora was too forgiving in nature when people outright didn't deserve it. He never understood that part of Sora and he probably never would--not in terms of Kairi anyway--but at the time, he'd been willing (after a very long, emotionally draining argument mind you) to agree with those terms, only because of Sora and his feelings he held for him.
Thankfully, in Riku's opinion anyway, Sora's parents refused to be as forgiving. And neither were his own, but he already knew that was going to be the case. His father was known to hold a bit of grudge and while his mother was a bit more temperamental and kinder in nature, she wasn't about to let 'attempted murder' slide on one of her family members.
Both sets refused anything short of jail time for Kairi--fifteen to twenty five years at the very minimum to be exact, and that was only after they talked Mr. London down from "Screw that, let the bitch fry!" status-- and wanted the girl to openly admit to the courts exactly what she'd done, including an apology to both families and all people involved that she hurt. Kairi had to seek psychiatric help while incarcerated and had to continue said treatment upon release of prison (in the institution) until she was seen as fit to finally be let out of state custody and placed back within society, if ever.
Mrs. Doss had gotten angry, to say the least.
"My daughter is not crazy!" she snapped angrily as she got to her feet. Her husband tried to calm her down but she pulled away from him, shaking her head. "He," she paused to point of Riku. "Must have provoked her somehow! My daughter just isn't that type of girl and it isn't fair to place all of the blame on her like that!"
It was then that Sora, in a quiet tone, glanced up at Mrs. Doss and simply asked "Then what did I do?"
There was a silence that suffocated the room for minutes after that was only lifted when Sora spoke again. "I've never done anything to Kairi. I've defend and stayed by her side when people were warning me that it may not be a good idea. And yet she…" he paused taking a deep breath while his mother rubbed circles in his back. Sora flinched a little away giving his mother a grateful look but gesturing it wasn't necessary.
"…she had me raped. And stole all of my memories to try to keep me away from the truth. And managed to hurt all of my friends in the process. And even if Riku was mean to Kairi, she wasn't exactly nice to him either Mrs. Doss." he stated rather bluntly, glaring at Mrs. Doss with a steady, firm glare and sad eyes.
"That still doesn't constitute that my daughter is at all insane or that Riku didn't maybe bring on some of the things she did to him," she insisted heatedly. Riku had only glared at the woman with discontent, choosing not to say immediately what was on his mind but instead, let his eyes wonder to his chest and almost absently touched the place he'd been stabbed before glaring right into Mrs. Doss's eyes and in a calm, yet cold tone stated "I beg to differ, you'll have to excuse me."
Sora had touched Riku's hand then and gave it an encouraging squeeze, the platinum blond smiling gratefully at him as Xemnas gave the woman an unimpressed, dismissive gaze as he flipped the pen he'd been using with his fingers from the index to the pinky and back.
"The girl is not to come within 100 feet of Sora Madison or Riku London. Any means of breaking this can and will result in the girl's freedom at that time being revoked."
At that point, Riku remembered her mother trying to say something else but Kairi's lawyer wouldn't allow it, instead, holding up his hand to cut her off.
After a long discussion the Doss' lawyer finally agreed, stating that they would have to negotiate on how much time Kairi actually spent in jail. Snorting but agreeing--for then anyway--Xemnas and he finally went to go tell Kairi of the news.
And they tried reasoning with the girl--they really tried--but she outright refused to any of the demands, refusing to admit she'd done anything wrong to Riku and insisted she was trying to save her boyfriend.
She had been so loud that the small group could hear her in the room they were waiting in, Riku arching his brow at the term 'boyfriend' she'd used for Sora, the brunette himself shaking his head at the term and muttered something that Riku couldn't hear all the way. However, he had been able to make out the word 'delusional', which had briefly put a smile on his face.
The meeting was put to an end upon the lawyers return with Mr. London now muttering about how 'sane' Kairi clearly was loudly enough for the Doss' to hear but neither said a word, only glared at him as they left.
But it was what happened as they were all departing the building that still bothered him and he was sure, Sora as well.
They had just walked out of the large building when they saw Kairi being walked out of the juvenile center towards a transportation bus, ready to take her back to the institution she was currently being kept in. Sora's breath caught and it was Riku's turn to give his hand a reassuring squeeze.
The girl didn't look much different. She never really had much weight to begin with, and since she was wearing a baggy orange jumpsuit, he couldn't tell if she'd gotten thinner. Her hair didn't look as vibrate as usual but it was longer. Her bangs covered her eyes completely now and it reached all the way, on all sides, to her mid back.
Her head was down and her ankles and wrist were in shackles. She probably wouldn't have noticed them if it hadn't been for her mother calling out to her.
Her head lifted lightly then snapped up into place, and for a brief instant, he could see those same wide orbs of ocean blue, the pupils dilated in fury as they stared right at him. She immediately made a move toward them but the guards escorting her quickly grabbed her by the arms and began to drag her toward the transport, her father yelling and running over, demanding that they not treat her so roughly while her mother, tearing up, ran over to try to calm the girl down and fussing about how unfair things were and how Riku was getting away with 'antagonizing' her.
"If by 'being alive' is what she means, then I can't help that," Riku had replied darkly as he watched Kairi try to pull away from the guards. And as useless as it seemed, she tried regardless, focusing her glare directly at him as she began to rant, tears in her eyes.
"This ISN'T OVER, do you hear me Riku!" she sobbed angrily, trying in vain to pull away as Mr. London put a hand on his son's shoulder and DiZ attempted to herd everyone toward their vehicles but neither boy allowed them selves to be moved and only listened to Kairi's insanity. "This fight isn't over Riku! I'm going to get out of here! I'm going to make you and everyone who betrayed me pay for what you've put me through! He'll understand! He always understands don't you Sora?!"
He briefly took the chance to steal a glance at said teen, who was staring at Kairi in a slight disbelief and sadness as he tightened his grasp on Riku's hand.
" What I'm doing is right!" She continued. "I'll make you see Sora! You don't need Riku! Do you get that Riku?! He only wants me--he only needs me! I'll find him--I'll find you--and I'll take him away from you, you'll see! YOU HAVEN'T WON YET!!"
Riku blinked away the memory as he focused back on Sora, who's gaze hadn't left his cup.
The brunette shook his head, giving a bitter laugh. "I just don't get it Riku. We were all friends--"
"The two of you were friends Sora. I think she and I stopped liking each other as friends a long time ago," Riku sighed. Sora shrugged. "We all got along before all this started. Before Tidus' party, we were all happy. I don't care what she says, you can't fake how you feel about someone."
"Obviously she can, cause she did one hell of job convincing me that she was actually happy for us and only trying to help," Riku muttered spitefully. "She faked caring about Namine`'s problems and used Selphie's disagreement with Tidus to her advantage even if it meant hurting her best friend. She deceived you into trusting her then lied and said she was only out for your best interest. Who's to say she was ever my friend in the first place Sora. She's a manipulator and steps on anyone who gets in the way of what she wants."
"She wasn't always that way Riku," Sora insisted vehemently. "Something changed."
"Doubt it," Riku insisted and Sora gave a bit of sigh. " Not like it matters anyway. Everything that happened…this is technically all my fault."
There was pause as Riku looked dumbfounded, with his eyebrow arched in disbelief.
"All your what?" he asked bemused as he slowly turned his head in Sora's general direction then added. "Explain."
Sora gave a soft, mournful smile that was followed by an almost nonchalant hunch.
"A long time ago Riku…when I thought you hated me and we broke up…there really aren't words that can describe how much anger and pain I felt," Sora began softly, choosing to stare straight ahead at the wall with a memorized stare, as if he was diving deep within himself and his thoughts.
"I didn't know what do, why it happened, and how I could possibly go on. I never told you, but I felt like I was putting a lot on the line when we decided to date back then. You were my best friend ever since my family moved to this island and finding out that you liked me…when I'd loved you at the time for like what? A year and half.."
"You did?" Riku inquired and Sora nodded. "Selphie knew. I never told anyone else. And she never did either." He paused to laugh and glance over at Riku. "The one time she doesn't tell a secret, right? I was surprised too, but grateful.
"In any case, I was really cautious about things because I knew that if it ended badly, we'd not only ruin our romance, but our friendship as well. It's why I never came clean: I didn't want to take the chance of destroying what we already had by liking you and you not remotely feeling the same.
"So when we started dating, while I was still nervous, it was like living a dream. Until…the thing in the cafeteria happened. I felt like my entire world had ended and that even though I didn't understand how or why, I had single handedly destroyed the one thing I never wanted to: our friendship."
Sora paused and Riku shook his head. "Sora, I should have never made you feel--"
"You thought I'd betrayed you. I can understand that Riku, really," Sora assured him. "My point for even bringing that up is--as soon as it happened, and I went home, she was the one that came in like a white knight. She was understanding, caring of my feelings and genuinely seemed distressed about our plight. Certainly, she called you ever name in the book but then again, so did Ri at the time so I didn't really pay attention to the possible red flags then. I just thought she was trying to be a good, supportive friend, completely taking my side on the matter and thinking you were being an ass.
"And even when I moved, I lived for those years away from the island thinking that you were this jerk while Kairi was this great friend that only had my best interest in mind. I thought about her a lot when I was gone and in a odd sense, saw her as my only friend because she'd gone so much out of her way to support me while I'd stayed on the island.
"I had a while to build up my hatred for you Riku. And it wasn't exactly hard. Painful but not too hard, because I'd just gotten so angry. And when I got so angry about you…she was the person I thought of to calm me down. Her kind words, her hugs and hand holding while I was falling apart.
"It's why she was the one thing I was looking forward to when I moved back to island. I hated the thought of staying anywhere near you but thought that just like before, she'd be my rock. My support and help me through all the bitter feelings, anger and resentment I held toward you," Sora admitted softly and Riku could only stare at him as he listened to Sora's words.
"Then…Axel. To this day, he still won't tell me why he went out of his way to expose her lie. But once I found out the truth…it was the same feeling I had the day when you broke up with me. I put my trust and faith in to her, she was the person I knew that would never hurt me, at least, not so badly. She was the best friend I thought I had other than you Riku and she just…"
He motioned with his hands something seeming to explode. "It may not make sense to you because you already knew what she'd become. But for me…I wanted, I needed to think that there had just been a mistake. Just like with…us. With you. That it was just a minor flaw that needed to be hammered out and explained. That once I got to bottom of it all, I'd still have the same Kairi, a little less innocent maybe, but at least, still not completely bad. Just misguided."
Riku only stared as a bitter laugh erupted from Sora's lips before he continued. "I gave her a second chance even though deep down, I knew it was a horrible idea. But I wanted to honestly believe her claim of having my best interest at heart. I'd given you a second chance despite how I'd felt about you and we were working out again, then maybe she and I could work out as friends again.
"I wanted to honestly believe that things could go back to normal. That maybe even over time, all three of us could be friends again. That she could put aside whatever reservations she had about you and realize how much I really cared about you and just be happy for us and support our relationship. I wanted her to be able to see that you were the best thing that's ever happened to me and having you back in my life only made things right again, not that I was making a bad decision."
Riku gave him a faint smile at his last words. Seeing the depth of sincerity in Sora's eyes warmed his heart but pained it all the same--there within that sincerity lingered the pangs of guilt. A guilt that he knew Sora was having a hard time dealing with, no matter what anyone told him or ever would.
"I trusted her again, even when everyone tried to warn me was making a huge mistake. Even after she'd set up to destroy our relationship and thus, destroy a part of me as well for her own paper thin excuses. Knowing how much I'd hate you and how hard it had been on me and practically smiling in my face then and once I came back as if she'd done nothing wrong and was only trying to help. I gave her a chance after all of that--and she repays my blind stupidity by having me raped." Sora spat hatefully, glaring at the wall again.
Riku took in a breath and closed his eyes. He was suppose to be the bitter one. He was suppose to be the one to despise Kairi's very existence. Not him…he was too good for that. "Sora…"
"It's okay Riku, I can say it now. I've had a while to deal with what happened, even if choose to block the entire incident from my memory," Sora announced, facing the turquoise eyed youth with a reassuring half smile. "It happened and nothing can change the past. You can only regret it and learn never to repeat it next time."
"Sora…"
"You know, the thing that really hurts," he began, cutting Riku off and the latter took the moment to envisioning running Kairi over with a bus as he watched Sora literally seem to struggle not to tear up, the untouched luke warm liquid in the cup he held began to spill over the side as his hands shook a little. "It wasn't what she had done to me, mind you. Or even why--because no amount of therapy is going to ever make that make sense."
He laughed at his own light joke before continuing. "It was the fact that she went out of her way to make that…thing…look like you."
Silence.
"What kind of person who is suppose to care about you would take the one thing that they knows means so much to you and do something like that?" Sora questioned, not really addressing anyone. "Could you imagine what would have happened if her plan had worked out the way she wanted? Where I would have believed that it was honestly you that raped me?"
A lone tear began to creep into the corner of his eye and he quickly whipped it away, taking in a deep breath as Riku only continued to watch in silence, trying hard to decided what he could say to possibly help Sora through this.
"I don't think I can convey how hard it was that first night when you came back from the hospital Riku," Sora admitted, looking down at this lap in shame. "I knew it wasn't you but something in the back of my mind kept nagging me, terrifying me that I'd blink and suddenly you'd be trying to hurt me. You were so patient and I really appreciate that Riku, you have no idea. And in the end…if it hadn't been for strength you gave me to face that fear, that patience and simply looking into your eyes and seeing the real, true Riku I knew…I don't think I could have gone through with it. The eyes are the only thing that set you apart.
"It…it sounded like you. It acted like you. And the way it…it was just so calm. Like what it was doing was perfectly normal and alright. That he was somehow showing me love and couldn't understand why I felt so betrayed and hurt. How I'd thought for that brief moment before it confessed…that I'd made the wrong decision in ever trusting you again. It was the third time I'd felt so betrayed and that kind of despair from someone I thought I could trust and put my faith in--and what seemed like twice with the same person.
"But then it told me the truth and I felt worse. Because the first and second time, I didn't really know what was going on. My own naivety played a role in not seeing thing for the way they were but least I could take a small comfort in knowing that. But this time, I'd practically set myself for what happened because I knew what she was capable of but I let it go. I couldn't really blame anyone but myself for what happened.
"Sure," he muttered softly, not trying to hold the silent tears streaming down his face. "I didn't deserve being raped but I defiantly could have prevented it if I could just stop for two second and see things as they were instead of what I wanted and hoped they could be."
Sora took the brief pause to whip the tears off of his face with the back of his hands.
"Then she goes and tricks Namine` into stealing all my memories of the incident and of you as well, violating me in a since again," he snorted a little. "By this point, who would be surprised really, right?"
Riku tried to return a light smile but couldn't hold it long given the conversation. He had to admired Sora's ability to talk about the things that had happened to him--it wasn't that Riku was too weak to openly discuss it, it was simply that where Sora dealt better with things by talking about it, Riku was better by shutting them in and simply forgetting or burying them in his mind. It was apparent that it was eating Sora alive when he'd tried to do the same thing and he couldn't be happier that Sora was finally opening up.
" If it weren't for me, then everyone wouldn't have been hurt like they were. If I had just listened to everyone, if I had just told her to stay out of life once I found out what she'd done the first time, then maybe I could have prevented all the further trouble she caused for everyone after that," Sora muttered miserably and Riku shook his head.
"Kairi is…sick Sora," Riku replied, watching the brunette intently. "A psycho. Don't even attempt to take the blame for something that was beyond your control. So what you tried to give her another chance? So what you wanted to believe and try to trust her? Sora, you've always been a forgiving person--it's in your nature! If you weren't, we never would have gotten back together!"
"Riku, that was different and you know it," Sora muttered and Riku shook his head. "Sora, you are a forgiving person by nature, whether the scenario is different or not. The consequences were server but what she did to you wasn't your fault. No one told that crazy bi--"
". . .What about you."
Riku simply stared at the boy, honestly confused. "What about me?"
"She almost killed you," he stated softly, refusing to look at him. "She hated you so much that she tried to hurt any chance she got first emotionally, then she tried to kill you. Because of me. How can you not hate me Riku, after that?"
"Sora, I'd never hate you for what she did!" Riku snapped. "You didn't know she would try to do that!"
"Shouldn't I have!" Sora snapped back, looking up at Riku finally, letting the platinum blond see that he'd started to cry a bit again. "If I hadn't been so damn naïve, you never would have had to go through what you did! Axel wouldn't have been attacked by that manic because Kairi helped in setting him up, Namine` wouldn't have been put through her emotional distress, hell, your own brother and mine would have never had to go through what they did if I had just put an end to my friendship with her!"
Sora looked down at his feet, slightly dazed, once again choosing to ignore the wetness that cascaded down his face. "You almost lost the most important thing in my life because of my own stupidity. At the end of the day, it's the only thing that I can't help but think about no matter how much I try. I'm surprised you don't hate me to be honest Riku. You or your parents." He seemed to zone out for moment. "…They went through so much stress when you were in the hospital. Your mom was so upset…and all because of my dumb mistake…"
Riku took the boy into his arms and Sora resisted a bit at first, muttering how Riku shouldn't have to comfort him after what he'd done but the platinum blond would have none of it and wrapped his arms around the boy, the brunette burying his face into the nook of Riku's shoulder.
They stayed this way for a long time, neither saying a word and just listening to the soft sound of each other breathing and the fading footfalls and beeping from the hospital floor.
"Listen to me Sora and I mean listen this time," Riku said softly but firmly, wrestling his own bitter feelings from reaching the surface as he tried hard not to think about how horrible it been in the hospital and the look on his mother's face when he'd finally woken up…the pain…
'Focus on Sora, he needs you,' he chanted his mind and finally, began to speak.
"None of this is your fault Sora. Even if you had told her back then to stay away from you and out of her life, do you honestly think she would have listened? She would have found some way to blame it on me and say it was my fault that you would ever do something like that, no matter what you did or said Sora, just like she has been doing. I'm her enemy, that's what she believes, not you. Her hurting you is just a 'sacrifice' to destroy the one thing she seems to think is in her way of getting what she wants," Riku relied in a serious tone. "She would have just used it as another excuse to try and drive us apart, if not out right try to kill then. You couldn't have done anything different and gotten a different out come short of hating me and going out with her Sora."
Sora nodded slowly, the tears completely stopping now and Riku made the boy look up holding his face in place so that he'd have to stare him in the eyes.
"She took what she knew about you--about everyone-- used it to her advantage and gain. Yes she tricked you, yes maybe you did make a mistake here or there, but you can't change her or anything that's happened and I refuse to let you wallow in self pity about how this should all be your fault. Maybe it was a hard lesson for us to learn, but as long as we take something away from it to prevent it from ever happening again, then it will have all been worth it, no matter how much it sucks."
There was a brief silence between the pair before after a thought, Riku added. "She'll get what she deserves eventually Sora, I can promise you that. My uncle, you and I, everyone she hurt--we'll all make sure of that. And while this sounds impossible right now…you can't let what she's done get to you so much and make you angry and bitter. That's not in your nature Sora. I know…that deep down, you want to forgive her and maybe you should, for your own sake. Never forget Sora…but forgive."
"I'm…not sure I can do that right now Riku," Sora admitted bluntly and Riku watched him, finally silencing his own small tirade. "It's just not the same anymore Riku. Not like before."
He stopped to look up at Riku and for the first time in a long one, Riku actually saw something akin to hate in Sora's eyes. "After everything that she's done, don't even think I can forgive her yet. And forgetting is practically out of the question--I've been trying to and can't do it. But I will say this for her: she made me see a flaw in myself, even if it is considered a good trait."
"But it is a good trait Sora," Riku argued and the brunette only nodded, pulling his face away from Riku. "Forgiveness is good Riku and being a bit naïve isn't so bad either. But not to the extent I used with Kairi." He smiled at Riku lightly. "This entire ordeal helped me realize that I do tend to be a little to naïve and forgiving at times. It doesn't mean I won't continue to be forgiving and I'll try not to be so naïve. But I definitely won't ever let things get so out of hand where something like this can happen again."
Then, almost begrudgingly he added. "I'll forgive her in time I think. Just…not right now is all."
He leaned in on Riku, laying his head on his shoulder, yawning a bit, exhausted. "I wish I could be stronger about this like you Riku."
Riku scuffed lightly. "I bottle my feelings because that's how I deal, Sora. I'm used to doing that--heck, it's practically passed down from my father. Maybe it's not healthy but that's how I deal. You face your feeling and all of your fears head on. You're just as strong as I am Sora, if not stronger, just in a different way."
He looked down at the brunette and gave a faint smile. "You were willing to at least think about forgiving Kairi, and eventually, I know you will because that's how you are. That's something I'm not sure I'll ever be able to do in this life time Sora. And that takes strength. A lot of it."
Sora let his words sink in before after a few silent moments, finally gave an almost embarrassed smile and sitting upright , let a sheepish laugh erupt from his lips, making Riku smile in turn. Now that was the Sora he was used to seeing.
"I'm sorry Ku," Sora began. "I didn't mean to force all that on you…this all has just been bothering me and I really needed to get it off my chest."
"If it's helping you cope Sora, then force whatever you need on me when you need to," he admitted, pointing directly at Sora's heart. Then he smirked. "Though…the sobbing is a bit girlish of you. But then again, you are the submissive. . ."
Riku jumped up from his seat and laughed as he dodged a few punches in his direction, his own mood lightening up seeing Sora return to his light-hearted state as he began to give chase, slipping momentarily on the split liquid before regaining his composure and following strong, both nearly colliding with a very excited Mrs. London once Riku had one foot out of the room and out into the hallway, prepared to go into full sprint.
"Here you two are! She's about to completely deliver the baby, we're going to the delivery room so we can see it as soon as possible! Come on boys!" she gushed, before hurrying down the hallway, the pair pausing to look at each other then hurried after her, leaving any spiteful feelings about Kairi or her deeds in the waiting room.
More Author's Notes:
I think my main reason for doing this chapter was because I wasn't really happy with Sora. I didn't want to make him too much of a baby or make it seem like he was the same guy from the first story that would believe anything Kairi fed him like a baby on spoon. The entire point was for him to have learned something and I wanted that to be conveyed not only in this chapter, but throughout the story (as will be seen). And I honestly don't think I did that well enough with the original version of this chapter.
Plus, I wanted to put more with Riku and the baby and something I actually forgot to put in with Cloud and his predicament. By the time I was done, this was well over 50 pages (the original was maybe 28 I believe) long, hence it now being two parts of the same chapter instead of one.
Have fun with part 2, as it's a little less…what's the word, dramatic? Intense? I hope anyway.
As always, Happy Reading!
~Kamirine