Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney, totally. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. And cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

See Team Possible II: City in the Sands for background on the alien technology project, which also received mention in The Buck Stops Here.

All's Fair in Love – part 2 – Joss vs. Slim

As work on the alien technology project began to speed up Lipsky and Load's need for further workers became evident to everyone, including Zita - who sought to keep overhead down as long as humanly possible. The research workload at Middleton had not picked up dramatically, but either Drakken, Wade, or Tim had to be at the island almost constantly as the research facility there was prepared. The UN had also allowed some conservation groups to conduct their own projects in things such as sustainable agriculture and desalinization on the island. Lipsky and Load had initially opposed the other experiments as a needless distraction from the main project and creating the potential for espionage. Eventually they came to see the conservation groups had helpful ideas about creating and maintaining the sort of facilities the island would need to support.

Jim didn't travel to the island, having received the unenviable task of reviewing the résumés of the countless scientists who wanted in on the ground floor of the new project. While he had been given a half dozen Global Justice assistants for vetting the histories of potential candidates he doubted any method existed to keep spies out of the project and he settled for trying to insure that the men and women being lined up for the island were qualified for the job. Jim desperately wished he knew what qualified anyone to understand ancient technology from an alien race.

A materials lab for the smaller artifacts had been constructed, at UN expense, on the edge of the Lipsky and Load grounds. Wade and Drakken would have both enjoyed being placed in charge, but had too many other things to do. Jim hired the analysts. The UN paid them. Any information discovered would be public domain, but production methods could be patented by Lipsky and Load with the profits being split with Egypt. The lab itself would be turned over to Lipsky and Load at the end of the project.

Lipsky and Load's lawyers found all the paperwork fascinating and profitable. And although Shego did none of the work she received a raise from the firm for bringing in the business.

Wade went to Boston every weekend he could arrange. Joss and Bego flew in to Middleton almost as often. Zita was too protective of the scientists' time to let the men do interviews, but either Joss or Bego was usually happy to oblige some journalist looking for a story on the ship's discovery or the current state of preparation for thorough examination.

Joss and Wade grew adept in finding ways to find 'quality time' alone with each other when she was in Middleton. "Working on house plans," became recognized as a euphemism for "leave us alone."

Slim Possible continued to refuse to accept the idea of Joss marrying Wade.

His refusal began to weigh on Joss. She refused to break her word to her father, but if he hoped she would break up with Wade it was not going to happen.

"Same problem?" Wade asked on one occasion as they actually looked at house plans.

"Yeah," she nodded glumly.

"You don't have to have his permission, you know that."

"I gave my word." For Joss, that settled the matter. It might not hold up in a court of law, but she kept her promises. She sighed, "I dunno… I want us to get married, but I'm willin' to live with you if we can't."

"Not an option."

"Why not?"

"My Momma would kill me."

"We need more options. I won't marry you without Dad's permission. I don't want to wait for him to die--"

"On the bright side, maybe if we get married the shock would kill him."

"Not funny, Wade. I'm willin' to live with you, but your Mom would kill us… Just you or both of us?"

"Probably just me. I think you're safe. Momma likes you. Any other options?"

"Not that I can see."

"We could married secretly and not tell your Dad."

"I'd know I lied. That's not an option."

"Fresh out of ideas then, I'm sorry."

She looked so sad Wade dropped the house plans and simply held her in his arms. "We'll figure something out. We have to. We love each other and we want to get married. We'll find a way."

She laid her head on his shoulder. She loved it when he held her like this. "You really think we'll find a way?"

"I know we will."

As she enjoyed the feel of being in his arms she had an idea. "Need to run this by Bego," she told herself. "This may really be too crazy to work."

Wade made it home late from his turn on the island. The conservationists were expanding their proposals again, but it promised a better diet for the scientists and Global Justice agents working there and that sounded good. It would also give them a controlled experiment in whether the field created by the generator created any sorts of reproductive problems for living organisms. The island was out of cell phone coverage, and when he got home he discovered his phone had been left unplugged. He plugged it in and noticed waiting messages. Too tired to listen just then he went to bed. He'd listen to what Joss had to say when he knew he could stay awake.

In the morning Wade went to voice messages. Joss had left a brief, "Call me when you get back."

Wade could not immediately place the voice on the second message. He couldn't remember hearing a voice that angry before in his life. The man's voice literally shook with rage. There was something about, "… bringing Clint with me and we're comin' for you. If'n you don't do right by my daughter, boy, I hope you've made your peace with God."

The message had been recorded yesterday. Slim and Clint could be anywhere. Wade ran to his car and drove at random, wondering what in the world was happening. Should he park on a public street - surely nothing could happen to him if there were witnesses. But if they happened to drive by they could see him. Should he park in some hidden spot where he couldn't be seen? But if they found him parked in a spot like that there would be no witnesses to whatever happened.

He called Joss.

"Wade! I missed you! How was the trip?"

"I got a call from your dad. He's going to kill me."

Joss giggled, "I expected that. What exactly did he say?"

"What do you mean, you expected that?"

"Never mind, what did he say?"

"What do you mean, never mind? He's threatening to kill me!"

"Focus, Wade, focus. I need to know exactly what he said."

"I don't know, something about me making peace with God."

She sighed, "This is important. Did you erase the message?"

"No."

"Play it again, I'll wait."

"What is this--"

"Play the message. I need to know what he said."

Wade retrieved the voice mail.

"Ouch," Joss observed, "I didn't think he'd be that angry. But it's good."

"Your dad is threatening to kill me, and that's good?"

"You're right. It's better than good. It's great!"

Wade didn't know what to do. Apparently there was a strong streak of insanity in the Possible family. He should have suspected it years earlier after some of Kim's stunts. Wade sat in shock until Joss's voice came over the phone again, "Wade, you still there?"

"Yeah… What happened? Why is your Dad trying to kill me?"

"Sort'a what I was expectin' him to do after I told him I was pregnant. I knew--"

Wade's brain shut down. Whatever else Joss said after that failed to register. She was pregnant, and her father was trying to kill him. Maybe he should just let Slim kill him, he deserved it for wrecking Joss's life.

"Wade, you still there?" she had to ask again.

"Yeah, I… I… What am I going to do?"

"Get out here, of course. I'm not sure if they'll be lookin' for you there in Middleton or come out here to Boston."

"See you, yeah, I need to see you," Wade agreed. His Momma might kill him if Slim didn't. He was going to be a father. He wasn't ready to be a father. He probably wouldn't live to see the birth of his child.

Before heading to Lipsky and Load he called the newly installed guard at the front gate. "Anything unusual today? Anyone asking for me?"

"Yeah, couple men in a rented car here early saying they were looking for you, seemed sort of upset."

"One have a moustache?"

"Yeah, you know them?"

Wade let it pass, "What happened?"

"Well, since I wouldn't let them in the lot they parked down the road. I asked one of the Global Justice agents to check on them and they drove off when he headed that way."

"Thanks. I'm not stopping at the gate today. Open it when you see me coming."

"I'm not supposed to open it unless--"

"Open it!"

"Okay, but I don't think the GJ boys are going to like that."

"Sorry. I'll tell them it was my orders. But it's important."

Before starting the car Wade tried to figure out what to do. Slim and Clint might be watching the road, but from which direction? If they were still there… What had Joss said, something about wondering if they'd look for him in Middleton or Boston? He grabbed his laptop. His therapist would not like to hear that he was hacking again, but he had to check airline schedules out of Middleton. A few minutes later he stared at the screen in horror. Slim and Clint had left an hour earlier. They were scheduled for a brief layover in Nashville. He had to get to Boston first.

Wade slammed on the brakes and skidded into his parking spot at Lipsky and Load. He almost forgot to turn the engine off before hopping out and running into the building. He ignored Zita and Tim in his haste.

"How was the--" Tim tried to call.

"What's eating him?" Zita wondered as he disappeared.

"No idea."

"Go find out," the Hispanic woman told him.

Tim caught up with Wade in the hanger, pulling a tarp off one of the old hovercraft.

"What's going--"

"Is this thing ready to fly?"

"I don't know."

Wade cursed. Tim could not remember hearing Wade curse before, at least not like that.

"You know the FAA hasn't approved these, that's why they've been in mothballs."

"I need it. Now!"

"The FAA--"

"I don't care. Can you help me check it out?"

Tim sighed, maybe Wade would tell him something while they worked. Tim got nothing except that Wade needed to be in Boston, fast. Tim thought of several rude things he might have said, and Jim definitely would have said, which could have gotten a laugh on a normal day. The frantic way in which Wade worked said it was not a normal day.

"Is something wrong with Joss?" Tim demanded.

"I don't know." Wade only counted it as a half-lie.

Tim worked harder.

Wade jumped into the driver's seat and fired up the hovercraft was soon as it passed the safety check. "Call Joss," he yelled, "tell her I'm on my way."

Tim wondered if he should have volunteered to go along and pilot. He worried Wade might have an accident on the way.

Wade wondered if he should have asked Tim to fly the craft. He tried to calm down, but it wasn't easy. Given the time it had taken to prepare the hovercraft Slim should land at Logan Airport a good forty minutes before he would arrive. If they rented a car he was in good shape, by the time they wasted doing paperwork for the rental and getting lost for two hours while trying to find Joss's apartment, he could have Joss anywhere. On the other hand, if they took a taxi he was cutting it close. Maybe they'd miss the connection at Nashville. Maybe the connecting flight would be delayed. At least Wade knew from experience that they would likely waste time in a holding pattern over Logan before receiving landing clearance. "I've got time," he told himself. "Don't panic. No need to panic." He knew he was panicking.

He set the hovercraft down on a lot a block from the apartment and ran for it. Bego and Joss sat on the steps, laughing and chatting as he arrived. There was a small bag on the ground at the foot of the steps.

"Glad you made it," Joss smiled.

"She was about to leave for the Alewife station," Bego explained. "I was going to tell you to go there. Dad and Clint are on their way from the airport."

Wade was panting, "Joss, you okay?"

"I'm great, of course. Let's go."

"Go where?"

"I suggested Vermont, remember?"

"Vermont? When?"

"When we talked on the phone, remember?"

"I don't remember anything after you told me you were pregnant. Are you okay? I'm sorry. I thought everything was--"

"I'm not pregnant."

"You told me you were pregnant."

"I did not tell you I was pregnant."

"Yes you did."

"No, I didn't. I told you that I told Daddy I was pregnant."

Wade looked puzzled, "Isn't that the same thing?"

"It certainly is not."

"You're not pregnant?"

"I'm not pregnant."

"But you told your Dad you're pregnant."

"Right."

"And now he's trying to kill me?"

"Well, there was that down side."

Wade took a deep breath, "Why?"

"So he'd say we could get married."

"What?"

"He said you'd have to do the right thing, that means marry me."

"But you told him you were pregnant!"

"Wade, we've been over that. Are we going to Vermont or not?"

"Vermont?"

"No wait for marriage license, no blood test, no residency requirement. Heck we might be married in an hour if we leave now. Or you can wait here and hope Daddy will give you a chance to explain."

"Vermont."

Joss began to smile, then frowned, "You didn't pack a bag like I asked you, did you?"

"Bag?"

"So we could find some bed and breakfast place in the Green Mountains for a couple nights."

"I, uh, missed that."

Bego broke into their conversation, "You two need to scoot. Give me your cell phones." The two turned over their cell phones, and Bego handed hers to Joss. The blue girl smiled, "Daddy has to talk with me today."

"We'll call later," Joss promised as Wade picked up her bag and the two headed for the hovercraft.

"First wedding, then shopping for clothes," Bego shouted after them.

Twenty-three minutes later there was a heavy pounding on the door.

"Daddy! Clint! How wonderful to see you."

"Don't call me Daddy. And where's Joss?"

"That would make a marvelous topic of conversation over lunch. Why don't--"

"Damn it, where's Joss?"

"If you are going to be rude the conversation is over."

Bego began to close the door. Clint bumped his father aside and tried to get a foot in the door. Bego paused and looked at him, "I knocked you out when I was seven, you don't want to tangle with me now."

"Wasn't you that knocked me out, it was Joss."

"Well those are part of the memories I share with Joss. I remember knocking you flat. Scared the heck out of me, I thought I'd killed you."

"You caught me by surprise," Clint insisted, slipping into the argument he'd had many times with Joss over the years.

"You told yourself that often enough yet that you really believe it?"

"It's the truth!"

"Clint, I knocked you flat when I was seven. Accept that."

"I should have let you lasso that skunk, would have served you right."

"No good deed goes unpunished," Bego laughed. "I was pretty dang mad. I wanted to keep it for a pet." She turned to Slim, "It's all your fault for not letting me have a kitten like I asked for."

"You're not Joss," he bellowed, "tell me where she is!"

"I told you, we can talk about that over lunch. And for being rude, you now have to let me call you Daddy while we're there."

"I wouldn't--"

"I can put on even more conditions if you don't calm down now."

"You piece of--"

"Quiet, Dad," Clint told him. "We want to hear what's happening with Joss. It appears to me that we best play by her rules."

Bego smiled at him, "Thanks, Clint. Don't know why everyone thinks JW got all the brains."

"I should have let you lasso the skunk."

Bego locked the apartment, and the trio headed down the street to a diner. While his focus remained on Joss one problem gnawed at Slim's mind, "Do you really eat?"

"Well, yes and no. I got Joss's memories of eating, and I can eat things - but I can't taste them. But I don't need to eat and it's a pain to clean out. Right now Vivian Porter, she's like a second mom to me, is trying to figure out how give me a sense of taste. I'm going to eat for a week if she ever gets that working."

The noon rush was over, and they had no trouble finding a booth. "Joss likes the roast beef sandwich," Bego suggested.

"I don't--" Slim began.

"Order the roast beef, Dad," Clint seconded, "been hours since you had a real meal."

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat," Clint told him.

"He's right," the blue girl agreed.

The men ordered sandwiches. Bego went with tea, holding the cup gave her something to do with her hands and it was easy to clean out.

"Okay, where's Joss," Slim began again as the waitress left.

"Give me a minute, Dad, I'm not sure where to start."

"Start by tellin' me where Joss is," he repeated.

"This isn't what she wanted. This isn't what she wanted at all. But she felt like you didn't give her a choice, she felt like she had to--"

"Where is Joss?"

"Can I start with the why before the where?"

"No!"

Clint put a hand on his Dad's arm, "Let her talk." He turned to Bego, "You're gonna stop beatin' round the bush and tell us at some point?"

"Yes." She looked up at the ceiling and tried in vain to collect her thoughts. "Joss wanted a simple little wedding at the church back home after she graduated next year. But--"

"She's too young to get married."

Bego ignored him, "She wanted to walk down the aisle on your arm. It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. Walking down the aisle with you to get married. That was what she wanted - and you wouldn't let her have it."

"She's too young to get married," he repeated

"No, she's not… We're at the end of our junior years in college. Why do you treat us like children? Is the problem that she's been away so much since she was fifteen that you've lost track of how old we are?"

"I know damn well how old my daughter is, she's still too young."

"How old was Mom when you married her? How old was JW?"

"Joss is different."

"How?" she demanded He fell silent. The metal girl gave him a minute as their orders arrived. When the waitress left Bego continued, "She wanted your blessing, for you to say it was okay the way you made us promise--"

"What are you talkin' about?" Clint interrupted.

"Before we left for Middleton, Dad made us promise not to marry without his permission."

Clint turned to his father, "What's she talkin' about? Did you make Joss give you a promise like that?"

Slim paused for a second, then admitted, "Yeah, I did. Didn't want her making any fool mistake."

Clint appeared upset, "So, you were fixin' to run her life?"

"She was a kid when she went to Middleton. I didn't know what she might do."

"We're not kids any more. We're over twenty-one and don't want to be bound by some promise we made more than six years ago," Bego objected.

"I didn't make you promise nothin'!"

"I've got Joss's memory of that too. If I find a guy who can accept me the way I am I'll be asking for permission to get married too. And it was that dang promise that made Joss feel like had to do what she did."

"What'a you mean?"

"I mean, she forced you to tell Wade to do the right thing by her. She said that meant you gave her permission to get married."

Slim looked shocked, "She… She got pregnant on purpose just to…"

"No, she didn't."

"But you said she did it on purpose, to force my hand."

"She's not pregnant."

"She's not pregnant?"

"She told you that to force your hand; she's not pregnant."

Slim sat stunned, not sure whether the feeling of relief or anger was greater.

The blue woman put her hand on her father's hand, "She might have done it for real. She didn't want that. She saw what a problem having kids while you're in college was for cousin Kim. But she--"

"She loves him that much?"

"Yes, she does."

"She should'a told--"

"She tried. You wouldn't listen."

Silence reigned at the booth as Clint finished his sandwich and Slim stared at the food on his plate. Joss's phone vibrated in Bego's jeans and she pulled it out to read the text message, "Just married." She closed the phone and stuck it back in her pocket.

Slim sounded tired when he finally started to ramble. "I didn't… I don't… I feel like I've lost her."

"You haven't lost her. She loves you."

Maybe he heard her, maybe he didn't. He continued, "She writes emails home everyday. She didn't mention Wade. She--"

"Actually, I write the emails."

"What?"

"Most of them, anyway. I don't sleep so I have more time to write. Joss tells me about her day and I write Mom. And you--"

"They're her account. She signs 'em."

"Mom suggested I write as if Joss sent them. Said you got upset when I wrote in my name. She always calls us her girls when she emails us."

"You sent the emails?"

"Most of them. Joss writes some - and always tells me things to say. And I tried to talk about Wade and how Joss feels, but Mom said you always got upset. So I stopped."

"I… Am I that stupid?"

"No, you're not stupid. But you don't listen. You're so smart you think you should tell others what to do. You figure you know better than they do." The blue woman looked at Clint.

"She's right Dad, I've had some good ideas for the ranch…"

"Joss?"

"She loves you. They eloped--"

"She's not dropping out of school!" he thundered, regaining some of his spirit.

"No, Dad. She'll finish here next year. They're building a house in Middleton. But her biggest fear in the world is that you won't talk with her."

"She's my little girl. I'll always love her."

"She loves you. Part of her will always be your little girl. But she's grown up, you need to accept Wade."

"She wanted me to walk her down the aisle?"

"She did."

"She told you that?"

"Didn't have to. We share memories, remember. It's what we wanted since we saw Clint's wedding." She turned to her brother, "We watched her coming down the aisle to you on her Dad's arm and she looked so happy it was all we could think about for days. How happy we'd be some day."

Clint smiled, "It was wonderful."

She turned back to Slim, "We never lost that. We--"

"We?"

"Yeah, sorry… I… It's kind of weird when half your memories come from a different body."

He squeezed her hand gently. "I'm the one who's sorry… I'll try to be a better Dad to you."

Bego smiled, "Do… Do you really mean that?"

"I mean to try. I've already messed up Joss's life. I don't want to ruin another."

"You haven't ruined her life. She loves you. The biggest worry she has in the world right now is that you won't love her for what she did."

"I'll never stop loving her."

"She can come to the ranch? She can bring Wade? You'll try and accept him?"

"She can come with Wade… I'll try to really talk with him… Maybe your Mom would like to have a reception for them at the church."

"Joss would love that."

"You said they eloped? Any chance they aren't hitched yet?"

"They're married."

"Too late then to offer to walk her down the aisle."

"You'd do that?"

"Dads have dreams too."

"Could… Could they have a second ceremony back home? One this summer? Please?"

"It wouldn't be the same."

"Please?"

"She'd want that?"

"It would make her the happiest girl in the world!"

He smiled, "Can't say no to that."

Bego squealed with joy and bounced out of the seat in the booth to hug Slim. "I love you… I mean Joss loves you. We--"

He patted her back, "That's okay."

"Ohmygawd! I've got to call her! I promised her that-- But I have to!" She pulled out Joss's phone and called her own number.

"Second ceremony, back home, this summer!" Bego shouted in the phone when Joss answered. She listened for a minute, then handed the phone to Slim. They called Becky after leaving the diner.

It was a very small ceremony in August, the families and a few people from Lipsky and Load. The media, who would have besieged the church for the wedding because of their rescue of the alien artifacts, were not told.

A number of nieces and cousins were disappointed by the lack of a flower girl, but Joss figured they would have been more disappointed if someone else had been asked. Slim thoroughly disapproved of the groom's choice of his business partner as best man, but wisely said nothing. At least his blue skin echoed the hue of the bride's maid of honor.

Afterwards, at the reception, Slim even asked Shego for a dance, and it was purely by accident that she stepped on his foot while they were out on the floor.