Disclaimer: Not mine

A/N: I thought this next part was rather short, and it would just be cheating you to post it as a stand alone daily post. I hope to post part 12 tomorrow morning, but if sleeping in is more tempting then I likely won't deliver. But I will try.

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Jag HQ
1006 Local
Two weeks later

Mac sat at her desk, lost in thought as she waited for the operator to connect her with Uncle Matt. She'd been feeling ... dissatisfied ever since her return from La Jolla with Harm. Well, maybe dissatisfied was the wrong word. Restless, perhaps was more apt. Or anxious, even. She didn't know why. This feeling had settled in the pit of her stomach on their last night there, and she just couldn't shake it.

Mac took a deep breath. She'd have to figure this out soon, or Harm was bound to notice. At the moment, he was too generally pleased with the way things were going between him and his parents, and too concerned with how Grams would take the news of her newly-discovered grandson to take much notice of her moods. She was thankful for it; it gave her the space she needed.

Space. She could admit that in previous relationships with men there always came a time when she started to feel claustrophobic, when she needed room to move and to breathe. With Harm, though, it was different. She wanted more rather than less and it terrified her. She hadn't ever let herself get this involved with anyone before. She didn't know what to do now that they were so close, and it made her uneasy. She hadn't had enough success with personal relationships to even know what the M.O. was at this stage, or if she even wanted it whatever it was. What did that say about her?

Maybe it meant that she'd screw this up, somehow.

All she knew was that putting some distance between her and whomever she was involved with was what had saved her undue amounts of hurt in the past. Would that be the case here? She wondered how hard it would be to be the one to put a distance between her and Harm, before he could do it first...

Impossible. It would be near impossible. She couldn't even conceive of it, couldn't breathe at the thought of it...

It all made her restless, the thought of how close she was to Harm, of how she felt for him. She was waiting for the next big bump in the road, the one they couldn't surmount. She was waiting for the rut they'd hit, the one they wouldn't be able to climb out of.

She needed to talk to someone about it. And so here she was, waiting to hear Uncle Matt's voice.

Mac heard the click of the call connecting.

"Hello Sarah," His voice came through the line.

Mac grinned, feeling better just at hearing him.

"Uncle Matt!"

"How are you?"

"It's good to hear your voice." She bit back a sigh.

"Yours too." He agreed. "So, how is your sailor?" He inquired after Harm as he'd been doing since he had found out she'd be partnered with him years ago. He used to ask 'How's that sailor?', but had switched to 'your sailor' when she'd told him that they'd deepened their relationship.

"He's doing well." She answered, not wanting to burden him with Harm's problems, knowing her uncle would only worry. It wouldn't do much good with him all the way in Leavenworth to go onto her own problems either. Mac sighed, her thoughts drifted, unmoored as they increasingly were when she thought of her relationship with Harm in recent days. She hated feeling restless. It reminded her of her teenage years, after her mother left. "He says hi." She added absently.

"What is it?" His concern was clear. "You sound happy, but there's something else."

She sighed. He knew her so well. God, she missed him at times like this. How long had it been since she'd gotten a hug from her uncle?

"No, it's not ... it's just..." She took a breath, calmed her thoughts and tried not to feel like she was 19 again, a recovering drunk about to head into boot camp. Her question came out sounding tentative. "Do you ever feel something is too good to happen? That it'll be taken away from you?"

She heard his affectionate chuckle. Her Uncle's laugh was the one sound she positively associated with paternal love. "Have a little faith, Sarah."

"I can't do anything with faith." She scoffed impatiently. "It's just a crutch to keep, well, reality at bay."

"What did I tell you about being so cynical?" His voice was warm, but she was appropriately chastised.

"It doesn't do anyone service." She answered, even as her automatic stubbornness was kicking in. "I know, but—"

"You found an honourable man who cares for you deeply, Sarah." He interjected. "It's a special thing. I'll even overlook him being Navy."

"He is amazing." She couldn't help but smile, her fingers idly toying with a pen lying on her desk.

He laughed. "That's better. So, what else is new with you?"

"Well something interesting happened last week, and something great happened. Which do you want to hear first?"

"Interesting."

"Well, I was on TV last week..."

"Really?! Did you record it?"

"It is nothing to get excited about, Uncle Matt." Mac shrugged uncomfortably.

"Did you tape it?" He repeated.

"Harm did," Mac sighed. He'd already sent one copy to his mom and Frank, and another to Gram. That had resulted in an embarrassing round of congratulatory phone calls. Mac had never had so much attention directed at her, such open praise and warmth. And honestly it made her quite uncomfortable. It wasn't something she was used to.

Harm had also gotten copies of the ridiculous ET coverage of her in a bikini, with the anchor going on about ... well, very unlawyerly and un-Marine-like things. It was now his greatest sport to watch them and tease her mercilessly about how those pictures came into circulation, and whether she had anymore hidden around.

"Save me a copy," Uncle Matt was saying.

"I will," She agreed, figuring he'd forget about it when the time came.

"How did you get on TV?" He prodded, rightfully guessing that she wasn't going to be very forthcoming about this.

"A trial I was prosecuting got televised. The SecNav thought it would be great for publicity. Defence council was an old law professor of mine."

"By the tone of your voice, I'm going to presume you won."

"I did," Mac said with no small degree of pride. Lap dancer her six. "And she played dirty."

"She didn't anticipate what a Marine is made of," Uncle Matt was beaming, if his tone way anything to go by. "Are you sure that wasn't the great news?"

"The great news is that Harriet and Bud are going to name their daughter after me." Mac was grinning from ear to ear. She was pleased and awed and overwhelmed and humbled. That they thought so well of her...

"That is incredible." He sounded just as she had, when she'd received the news. "It's an honour."

Mac laughed. "It is, isn't it?"

"I'm proud of you, Sarah. You've come far from our time at Red Rock. You took control of your life."

Mac stilled at his words. Uncle Matt was, she realized, the first man she'd used to measure all others against. Harm and he were both principled men who shared a deep sense of integrity. It was something she admired in both of them.

"Uncle Matt." She didn't even know how to thank him in any way appropriate to what he meant to her. "I..." She trailed off. They weren't the kind to be touchy feely with each other.

"I know, Sarah. Me too." He sounded as awkward as she felt. It brought a smile to her lips. "You take care of yourself, now."

"Yes, Sir." Mac replied, missing him more with every passing minute, yet feeling better too with every passing minute.

"And do your country proud."

"Yes, Sir."

"Goodbye, Sarah." He concluded.

"Bye, Uncle Matt. Thank you." She grinned, invigorated by their talk.

She waited until her uncle had disconnected on his end before hanging up.

Once the headset was back in its cradle, though, her good mood dissipated and the doubts were quick to return. Mac rubbed her hands over her face. What was wrong with her? Harm had told her once that she pushed away men who valued her. She hadn't thought it true at the time, but now, with the restlessness she couldn't seem to quell ... She stopped that thought before it started. She silently vowed not to let herself do anything stupid or hurtful where Harm was concerned. She had made him a promise, after all.