Conversations With My 13-Year-Old Self

A/N: Here's the next chapter. I hope you all like it! – Jasmine

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The next morning – WilmingtonHospital…

"Stupid migraine." Peyton said to herself as she rubbed her temples. She sighed, popped an ibuprofen in her mouth, and took a sip from her water bottle.

"Peyton Scott?"

Upon hearing her name, Peyton quickly hopped up from off her chair and walked over to the medical laboratory technician's desk.

"How can I help you today Mrs. Scott?"

Peyton reached into her purse, pulled out two baggies and placed them in front of the technician. "I need to find out whether or not A is the mother of B."

The lab technician picked up baggie B and examined the hair sample. "This is all the hair you could collect from B?"

"Is that not enough?" Peyton asked worriedly.

He pondered for a moment before responding. "Eh it should be fine." He then placed the baggie down and began jotting some notes.

Peyton stared at the tech peculiarly. "Aren't you even the slightest bit curios as to why I want this test done?"

"Not really." the young man replied honestly. "And since I don't get paid to ask, why bother?"

Peyton slowly nodded. "So when will I be able to get the results?"

"They should be ready anywhere between 48-72 hours."

"I have to wait 2-3 days?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why so long?"

"Maybe because you're not the only DNA test that needs to be conducted and no one will be able to get to yours until tomorrow…at the very earliest."

Peyton sighed. "Are you sure there's no way I can get those results today?"

He smirked. "Well…there is one way…"

Peyton stared long and hard into his devious eyes. She then looked around and after making sure that no one was around, reached her hand into her handbag, grabbed a few bills from her pocket and laid the money down on the desk.

The lab tech smiled and pocketed the money. "I'll have those results for you by the end of the day. Just fill out the contact information form and I'll call you as soon as they're ready."

Peyton rolled her eyes and plastered a fake smile on her face. "Thanks."

He handed her a pen and a contact information sheet and Peyton began filling out the paper work as quickly as she could.

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Peyton's Music Studio

"That sounded great Mia." Haley said, clapping. "I think the song sounds so much better on piano as appose to the guitar."

Mia sighed, but nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah I think so too."

"Is something the matter?" Haley asked, looking concerned. "Did you and Chase have a fight?"

Mia shook her head no. "No, Chase and I are fine I'm just…a little worried about a friend is all."

"Would this friend happen to be Peyton?"

Mia eyed her curiously. "Yeah, how'd you—"

"Just a lucky guess." Haley said interrupting. "So why exactly are you worried about Peyton?"

Mia sighed. "Well yesterday when I stopped over I found Peyton here with Kari, doing some work on the computer. At least I thought she was."

"She wasn't?"

"No." Mia paused for a moment and then continued. "You see when she stepped out for a minute to change Kari, I…hopped on Peyton's laptop to check my email, which I might add she lets me do all the time, and I saw that she had been searching DNA parental testing."

Haley raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Mia nodded. "Yeah."

Haley sighed. "Don't tell me you're thinking that—"

"Well why else would she be looking up information on it?"

Haley pondered long and hard before shaking her head. "I have no idea, but you and I both know that Peyton would NEVER cheat on Lucas and that Jack and Kari are his kids. So there has to be…some logical, reasonable explanation for why she would be looking up such information."

"Yeah, but WHAT?"

Haley shook her head in bewilderment. "I…don't know. I don't know."

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Playground – Charlotte

Peyton sat down on an empty park bench, pulled out a book and pretended to read, though really secretly scanning the playground.

"Have you seen her yet?"

Peyton glanced to her left and her jaw dropped when she caught sight of the young teen sitting beside her.

She shook her head, rubbed her eyes, opened them and there still sat the green eyed, dirty blonde girl.

"What's the matter Peyton?"

Peyton looked around and, only after making sure no one was watching her, responded. "What's the matter? What's the matter is that I must be losing it! Why else would I be sitting here talking to myself?!"

"But lots of people talk to themselves."

"But normal people don't actually SEE themselves when they're doing it!"

"But who's to say that's true?" the teenage Peyton asked her. "It's not like there exists a clear definition of what constitutes normalcy."

Peyton ignored her comment and redirected her attention to the book in front of her.

"You never answered my question." teenaged Peyton said as she scooted closer to Peyton. "Have you seen the little girl you think might be Sawyer?"

Peyton began repeating to herself over and over again. "You are not real. You are not real. You…are…not…real."

"But you see me, don't you?"

"Yes but—"

"So if YOU see me, than I am real. I'm real to you."

Peyton eyed her younger self curiously. She shook her head. "Stop talking to me."

"Why?"

"Because you're NOT REAL!" Peyton yelled out. "And because now you're giving me a headache!"

Peyton then placed her book beside her and reached into her handbag for another ibuprofen. She popped the pill into her mouth and took a swig of water from her water bottle.

"That pill isn't going to make me go away." the girl said to Peyton. "It will, temporarily, but I'll be back. You won't be able to get rid of me that easily."

And just like that young Peyton was gone, vanishing into thin air.

Peyton sighed. "I know that she wasn't real yet…I could still see her. Does that mean that…I imagined that little girl too?"

She pondered long hard before shaking her head. "No, I saw her. That…that little is not a figment of my imagination. I know she's not…"

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Later that evening in Tree Hill – Elementary School Auditorium

"Luke!"

Lucas turned to his left and saw Brooke and Julian walking over to him and Kari.

"Hey." Brooke said as she took a seat down next to Lucas. Kari reached for and Brooke took the little into her arms. "So tell me…how excited is Jack?"

"Very excited." Lucas said, pausing a moment to yawn. "But it is the opening night of his first ever school play so…though he's excited he's also really nervous."

"He'll do great." Julian said, taking a seat next to Brooke and placing his phone into his pocket.

"Peyton's not here yet?" Brooke asked, as she absent-mindedly played with Kari's golden blonde locks.

"Not yet."

"Why didn't you two come together?" Julian asked.

"She had a lot of errands to run and thought it'd be easier if she just met me here." Lucas glanced down at his watch. "She really should be here by now though."

Lucas whipped out his cell and called his wife, just as Haley walked into the auditorium. She quickly spotted Lucas, Brooke, Julian and Kari and walked over to them.

"Hey…" Haley said to everyone, quietly, seeing that Lucas was making a call. She took a seat beside him and directed her attention to Brooke. "Where's Peyton?"

"He's trying to find out right now." Brooke said to her.

Just then Lucas flipped his phone shut. "I got her voicemail. I wonder why she didn't answer and what's taking her so long to get here?"

"Don't worry." Brooke reassured. "I'm sure she'll be here soon.

"Yeah, you're right." Lucas said as he placed his phone into his pocket. "She's probably just a couple of minutes away."

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Café - CharlotteMall…

"Maybe I'll have better luck at the mall." Peyton whispered. She took a sip of her coffee and stared out the window beside her, hoping to catch a glimpse of the look-a-like.

"Still haven't seen her, huh?"

Peyton slowly turned her head and, once again, came face to face with her thirteen-year-old self.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because."

"Because why?" Peyton asked, growing even more irritated. "It's not like I want you around."

"It doesn't matter whether or not you want me around." the teenage Peyton said to her sternly. "Wishing me a way isn't going to MAKE me go away."

Peyton shook her head, threw a tip onto the table and got up from her booth. "I'm out of here." She then headed for the exit.

Young Peyton immediately got up and followed right behind her. "Where are we going?"

Peyton threw her arms up into the air in aggravation, but tried her best to ignore her teenage self and began walking around the mall in search of the Sawyer look-alike.

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A little later that night, Tree Hill - Leyton House

Brooke sighed. "Is he asleep?"

Lucas sighed and slowly nodded. "Yeah, he finally cried himself to sleep." He shook his head in anger. "I CANNOT believe that Peyton didn't show up to his play?! HOW COULD SHE MISS HIS PLAY?!"

"Are you really sure she just forgot about the play?" Julian asked. "Maybe something happened and—"

"Nothing happened." Lucas said, pulling out his cell and tossing it onto the kitchen table. "She called during the end of the play and left me a voicemail saying she'd be home late and asking if I could make dinner so nothing happened to Peyton…she didn't remember!"

Lucas got up from his chair at the table and began pacing around. "How could she do that to him?! What could have been more important to her than seeing Jack star in his first play?!"

Haley eyed Lucas and bit her lip. "Luke, there's something I should probably tell you about."

"What?" a curious Lucas asked, raising an eyebrow.

Haley took in a deep breath. "Well earlier today Mia told me how yesterday, when she went to go check her email on Peyton's laptop while at the studio, she noticed that Peyton had been searching…DNA parental testing."

Lucas's eyes widened. "Are you…serious?"

Haley slowly nodded. "Yeah. I'm not sure if…that is the reason she didn't show up tonight but…"

Lucas shook his head and exited the kitchen. He quickly returned, with Peyton's laptop in his hands, placed it down onto the table, opened it up, logged in and opened up her main browser.

"Now Luke, don't jump to conclusions." Haley told her friend.

Brooke nodded her head in agreement. "Haley's right. You know that Jack and Kari are your kids. They look and act JUST like you. There has to be another reason that Peyton was looking up such information."

"There is." an angry Lucas said, shaking his head.

"What did you find?" Julian asked, taking a look at the screen.

"Before doing a search on DNA testing, she did one on exhuming."

Brooke's jaw dropped in shock. "Luke, you don't think that Peyton—"

"Somehow went behind my back and exhumed our dead daughter's body to see whether or not it's really her?! Yeah I do!" He slammed his fist down on the table. "I don't know why she can't just accept the fact that Sawyer is dead and let our little girl rest in peace!"

Lucas sighed, went back to the previous page, saw that Peyton had searched DNA parental testing on a website of a hospital and Wilmington, and slammed the laptop shut.

"Can one of you guys please stay with the kids?" Lucas asked as he grabbed his car keys from off the kitchen counter.

"Of course, but where are you going?"

"Wilmington. If she got a test done today, like I know she did, she got it done there!"

Lucas hurried out of the kitchen, headed toward his front door and exited his house.

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"The results are ready?" Peyton asked into her cell. "Okay I'll be there soon to pick them up."

She ended the call, hopped onto the highway and tossed her iphone into the passenger's seat.

"Cool phone."

Peyton sighed and glanced over to her right. "You're really annoying, you know that?"

"Well I guess that makes you annoying too."

Peyton rolled her eyes, looked over her shoulder and switched lanes. "I was never that annoying at 13."

Young Peyton laughed. "So you think."

Peyton took in a deep breath and tried her best to stay focused on the road, while once again repeating to herself. "You are not real. You are not real. You are not real…"

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Wilmington – Hospital

"Here you go." the medical lab tech handed Peyton a sealed envelope.

"Thanks."

Peyton stood in place, tightly holding onto the results in her hands, for a long while before finally walking away from the tech's desk and toward the exit.

Peyton stepped outside and stared into the nighttime sky. She then took in a deep breath and just as she was about to rip the envelope open her eyes caught glimpse of a figure walking toward her.

She squinted and her jaw dropped upon realizing that it was her husband. "Lucas w—what are you…doing here?"

"I think a better question would be what are you doing here?!" Lucas yelled out.

Peyton started to stutter. "I…I—"

"How could you go behind my back and exhume our daughter from her grave?! How could you?!"

She sighed. "I didn't but…I did take the lock of hair from my locket and…got it tested, along with a sample of mine so…so I could find out if…the little girl we buried was really Sawyer or someone else."

Lucas threw up his arms in aggravation. "So that's why you missed Jack's play!? Because you were too busy getting a DNA test and chasing after imaginary little girls!?"

Peyton shook her head. "No she's…oh my God! Jack's play! I missed his play!"

"That's right Peyton." Lucas stated matter-of-factly. "You missed our son's first ever school play!"

Peyton wiped a tear from her eye. "He must hate me…"

"No…" Lucas began, shaking his head. 'He doesn't hate you. He's too DEVASTATED to hate you!"

Tears poured down Peyton's cheeks. "You don't have to keep yelling at me, okay?! I feel horrible enough as it is!"

"Well you should feel horrible." Lucas stated coldly. "You should feel horrible about putting a figment of your imagination before your son!"

Peyton shook her head. "That little girl…she's not a figment of my imagination Lucas! She's real!"

"Maybe she is!" Lucas shouted out, though not all that convinced. "But she is NOT Sawyer!"

"But if it's not Sawyer then who is it Lucas?! We know it's not possible for Sawyer to have a long lost twin so it has to be her! Why else would I be seeing a little girl that looks just like her?!"

Lucas shook his head. "I couldn't tell you! But this ghost, look-alike, doppelganger that you 'think' you're seeing…is not Sawyer because Sawyer is DEAD! SHE IS DEAD!"

"But Lucas—"

"But do you know who isn't dead?!" Lucas yelled out, interrupting. "Jack is not dead! Kari is not dead! They love you and they need you to be there for them! And not some half-assed version of you but the mother you were before Sawyer died and the mother you were FINALLY starting to return back to BEFORE all this craziness started!"

"I'm not crazy Lucas." Peyton said, though not all that confidently. "I…I s—saw our little girl. I know I did."

Lucas stared down at the results in Peyton's hand. "Well why don't you open that up and find out?"

Peyton wiped her eyes, took in a deep breath, looked down at the manila envelope and slowly, and shakily, tore it open, pulled out the results and read them to herself.

"So what does it say?"

Peyton dropped the results onto the ground, looked up at her husband and began sobbing uncontrollably. "It says she's my daughter! Oh my God, she's really dead!"

Lucas sighed. "Peyt—"

"But I saw her Lucas!" a devastated Peyton shouted out. "I'm not crazy! She…she has to be real! Why else would I see a little girl that looks so much like Sawyer if it isn't really her?! Why?!"

Peyton started to hyperventilate and became extremely lightheaded.

Lucas walked up to his wife and took her into his arms. "Honey, breathe. You gotta breathe."

Peyton tried, but couldn't find her breath.

"It's okay Peyton." her young self said to her, emerging seemingly from thin air. "Don't fight it."

Peyton slowly nodded and passed out into Lucas's arms.

"Peyton! Oh my God Peyton!"

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A couple of hours later…

Peyton slowly opened up her eyes and saw her husband standing by the doorway of her hospital room. "Lucas…"

Lucas immediately rushed over to his wife's bedside. "You're finally awake." He took her left hand into his and kissed it. "You had me so worried."

"W—what happened?" she asked groggily.

"You…had a panic attack."

She sat up, rubbed her temples and sighed. "Right after I found out that…our daughter…our little Sawyer…really is dead."

Lucas slowly nodded. "Yeah."

The hospital room soon filled with silence. A few minutes later two doctors walked into the room.

"You're awake." the black haired female doctor, Dr. Reed, said to Peyton. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay." Peyton told her. She sighed. "So now that I'm awake I can check out, right?"

Dr. Reed glanced over at her colleague, Dr. Peterson, and then redirected her attention back onto Peyton. "Not yet. We need to run some more tests."

"But my husband just told me that all I had was a panic attack. That's what I had, isn't it?"

Dr. Reed nodded. "Yes. I ran numerous tests and scans on you which all confirmed that you did indeed have a panic attack."

"So if you know she had a panic attack why do you need to run more tests on her?" Lucas asked curiously.

Dr. Peterson spoke up and directed his attention toward Peyton. "Because Dr. Reed here noticed something…off…on one of the CT scans of your head. Since I specialize in neurology and she specializes mainly in general surgery, she asked me to take a look at it and I found that your scan showed an…abnormal growth of cells in the brain."

"W—what do you mean by an abnormal growth?" Lucas asked, looking very concerned.

"I have...a brain tumor, don't I?" she asked, tears slowly falling from her eyes down her cheeks.

Dr. Peterson, as well as the young teenaged Peyton, who had seemingly emerged next to him from out of nowhere, both slowly nodded their heads and said in unison. "Yes you do."

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Okay so there it is! So Peyton went and got the DNA test done and spent the entire day, once again, looking for the look-alike. She was so preoccupied that she ended up missing Jack's school play, much to Lucas's dismay and Jack's obviously sense Lucas said the poor kid was crying and just absolutely devastated. Though she knew that the teen she was seeing, her thirteen-year-old self, wasn't real but was certain that the little girl she had been seeing was real. But how could she be so sure what's real and what isn't? Especially since she now knows that Sawyer is really dead. And now it's been revealed that the reason she's at the very least been seeing teen Peyton is because she has a brain tumor (i.e. the headaches; also, remember when teen Peyton said those pills can't get her to go away permanently?). Now how serious is Peyton's brain tumor? Is it cancerous or non-cancerous? Operable or inoperable? Life threatening or non-life threatening? A tumor in the brain could cause personality changes, behavioral changes, delirium…hallucinations and many other things. It's obvious that Peyton's a little delirious and has been having at least some hallucinations. But is everything she has been seeing lately (i.e. the little girl) a hallucination as well? Or could she somehow still be real…even though she's not Sawyer? If she is real, who could she be? I saw that someone said they think his story is predictable. Well I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve still and think it's way too early to make that assumption, as my story is only in its fourth chapter, but if a lot of you feel that way and think this story is crap than I'll stop it and move on to something else. Let me know. – Jasmine