We Are Family

A/N: Okay so had originally wrote this chapter with the one that succeed this, but ultimately decided that it was a little long and that if I broke it up into two smaller ones the story would flow better. So that's what I did. Anyways, I hope you all like this update! - Jasmine

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"So if you know she had a panic attack why do you need to run more tests on her?"

Dr. Peterson spoke up and directed his attention toward Peyton. "Because Dr. Reed here noticed something…off…on one of the CT scans of your head. Since I specialize in neurology, she asked me to take a look at it and I found that your scan showed an…abnormal growth of cells in the brain."

"W—what do you mean by an abnormal growth?" Lucas asked, looking very concerned.

Peyton took in a deep breath and slowly let the tears that were building up in her eyes fall down onto her cheeks. "I…have a brain tumor, don't I?"

Dr. Peterson, as well as the young teenaged Peyton, who had seemingly emerged next to him from out of nowhere, both slowly nodded their heads and said in unison. "Yes you do." She then vanished into thin air.

Peyton closed her eyes and remained silent while tears began welling up in Lucas's eyes and just as he was about to fix his mouth to say something, Dr. Peterson put his hand up and responded to the question he knew was coming.

"It's not cancerous; the tumor is benign."

Peyton's eyes popped open. "Did…you really just say what I think you said?"

Dr. Peterson slowly nodded his head and repeated himself. "Yes. Your tumor is benign."

Both Lucas and Peyton sighed in relief and Lucas whispered underneath his breath. "Thank God." He took his wife's hand into his own and kissed it.

"So…w—what exactly…do I have?" Peyton asked as she laid her head back down.

"A slow growing, small to medium sized pituitary adenoma located near the skull base. But I still have to run more tests to determine what type of pituitary adenoma it is and whether or not it's a hormone secreting tumor."

He cleared his throat and then continued. "Unlike benign tumors in other parts of the body, benign brain tumors, depending on the size and location, can still be serious as they could press against certain nerves in the brain; ones that control movement, vision, hearing, personality, and numerous other functions and could cause a lot of irreversible damage. Luckily pituitary adenomas are the most common and least life-threatening of all types of benign brain tumors and the prognosis is very good."

Peyton sighed in relief once again.

"How are these tumors typically treated?" Lucas asked.

"A number of different ways." Dr. Peterson said as he readjusted his glasses. "The tumor can be reduced using radiation and chemotherapy or removed surgically."

The doctor redirected his attention to Peyton. "It's not very large and is located in an operable area so surgery and surgery alone, I believe will be a great option for you."

Peyton sighed and slowly nodded. "So…you'd have to…open up head, huh?"

Dr. Peterson shook his head. "The tumor would be removed using endoscopic surgery, a minimally invasive procedure that is conducted through the nasal cavity."

"You could remove the tumor through her…nose?" Lucas asked, raising an eyebrow.

Dr. Peterson nodded. "Yes. And like I said, the procedure is minimally invasive. A hospital stay of no more than two days, no scarring, and a full, speedy recovery taking no more than 3 weeks which is nothing considering the recovery period for the alternative, a craniotomy, can take up to 8 weeks."

Peyton shook her head in disbelief. "This is all…so surreal. I feel…fine. I never would have guessed in a million years that I'd have…a brain tumor."

"Most people are very surprised when they're diagnosed with a pituitary adenoma." Dr. Peterson told her. "They're usually asymptomatic, only occasionally causing things such as headaches, vision impairment, delirium—"

"Delirium?" Peyton asked, interrupting.

"Yes delirium…disorientation, memory impairment…hallucinations. Have you been experiencing any of those symptoms?"

Peyton briefly glanced over at Lucas and then redirected her attention toward the doctor. "Yeah…those and headaches I suppose."

Dr. Peterson nodded. "I can prescribe you some medication that should help."

He walked over to Dr. Reed, whispered something into her ear and she nodded and left the room.

"I'll let the two of you have a minute, but then I'm going to need to start running some more tests. Now I want you to stay overnight for observation but tomorrow, after we've discussed the results and the surgery in more detail, you'll be free to go."

Peyton nodded. "Okay."

Dr. Peterson gave her a small smile and then made his way toward the door and exited.

Peyton took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "So that's it. The tumor…made me see her. A TUMOR." She sighed and grew teary-eyed.

Lucas pulled his chair closer to his wife, took his free hand and caressed her cheek. "But a very treatable tumor. You're going to be fine, you hear me?"

"The tumor…is not the reason that I'm crying right now." Peyton began, taking a moment to wipe away the tears welling up in her eyes. "It's not that reason."

Lucas sighed and leaned his forehead against hers. "I know honey, I know."

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Peyton sat up; wide awake in her empty, dark hospital room, staring off into space and when a flash of light and her younger self appeared before her, she hardly seemed to notice.

Peyton's younger teen self sat down on the bed beside Peyton. "I can see that…you seeing this little girl has…really revealed a wound you thought had healed but in actuality hasn't, am I right?"

Peyton glanced over at the girl, but said nothing.

Young Peyton sighed. "After Sawyer died you…you cried your eyes out for her…for months and months but I…I've never seen you…get angry. But you're angry now, aren't you?"

An obviously heated Peyton stared long and hard into her younger self's green eyes before eventually speaking. "Sawyer was supposed to start kindergarten that September and she was so excited about going. But she never got to go. She will NEVER go. And I'm never going to see her graduate from elementary school, middle school and high school. I will never get to throw Sawyer a sweet sixteen party, teach her how to drive. I will never hear her tell me about her first love or…help mend that heart of hers when that first love or another breaks it. I'm never going to…send her off to college or see her make something of herself. I will never see…Sawyer…in a gorgeous white gown, with her beautiful blonde hair all done up…walk down the aisle on her wedding day and watch her marry the man of her dreams…"

Peyton let her voice trail off for a minute and then continued on. "I'm not going to…be able to hold her babies in my arms I…I will never be able to do ANY of those things! Because Sawyer…she is officially DEAD! My innocent little girl died a HORRIFIC death! So am I angry?! YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M ANGRY!"

She then pulled a blanket off of her, hopped out of the bed and walked over to a window.

"And you blame God for what happened to Sawyer?" her younger self asked.

"You bet I do!" Peyton yelled out. "I mean, where was 'He'? Where was 'God' when my 5-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER WAS BURNING ALIVE IN HER BEDROOM AND NEEDED SAVING?! WHERE THE HELL WAS HE?!"

"Protecting Jack…" the teen began as she made her way over to the window where Peyton stood. "Lucas…you and the baby."

"Well why couldn't He save Sawyer too?! YOU TELL ME WHY!"

"Because it was her time."

"It was her TIME?!" Peyton asked, raising an eyebrow. "Sawyer JUST turned five! She never really even got to experience life! How could it possibly have been her time?!"

"It doesn't seem to make much sense for Sawyer's time to have come when it did but…it did and there was nothing that was going to change that because everyone has a time and it will always come. And that's because death…it's a part of life and you can't have one without the other."

"But it was too soon." Peyton whispered out, tears now flooding from her eyes. "It was…much too soon."

Her teenage self slowly nodded, walked closer to Peyton and hugged her.

"Up until these…p—past few days I had felt as though I was in a good place. That I…was FINALLY at peace with everything after all this time. But then this tumor…it makes me start to see her and I've come to realize that I'm still not okay with it and I don't think that I ever will be able to get over and move on from this like I'm sure everyone is expecting me to do at SOME point."

Young Peyton sighed. "Sawyer was and will always be your first child and…she is the child that you have loved the longest…making her something special. Your real friends and family know that and don't expect you to just 'get over' Sawyer's death and 'move on;' that would be impossible to do anyway."

"So what am I supposed to do then?" Peyton asked through sniffles.

"You will never 'get over it' but you will find a way to learn to live with it." Her younger self pondered momentarily before continuing. "And then once you do that you move not on but FORWARD. Which will all be easier to do if you let it in."

"Let what in?"

"The love." the teen said smiling. "All the love from Lucas, Jack, Kari…Brooke, Haley all of them. You're surrounded by so much love so let it in and use it."

Peyton wiped away her tears and slowly nodded her head.

"You're going to be alright Peyton." her younger self assured. She smiled softly and then vanished.

Peyton slowly made her way over to her bed and laid her head back down on her pillow.

"Sawyer's gone but I…still have so many other people in my life. People who…love me and it's about time I show that love back."

She took in a deep breath, shut her eyes and then drifted off to sleep.

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Tree Hill – The Next Morning…

Peyton shut the passenger's side door and locked arms with Lucas.

"Has Jack been asking questions?" Peyton asked her husband as the two of them headed off toward the front door of their home.

"Yeah but I think Haley has managed to dodge them without making him too scared."

Lucas slowly opened up the front door and the couple made their way into the house and entered into the living room where they found Haley helping Jack do his homework.

"You're home!"

Jack immediately dropped his pencil and math worksheet down on the couch and he, along with Kari, who had managed to wiggle from Haley's grasp, ran over to Peyton and hugged her legs.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked, looking up at his mother. "You're not sick are you?"

Peyton squatted down to her little boy's eye level. "How about I take you and your sister into your bedroom and we talk about everything?"

Jack nodded. "Okay."

Peyton mouthed a quick thank-you to Haley, scooped Kari up into her arms, took Jack by the hand and headed toward his bedroom while Lucas walked Haley to the front door.

"Thanks for staying with the kids on such…short notice like that. It really means a lot."

Haley shook her head. "No need to thank me. It wasn't a problem. I'm just glad that Peyton's tumor isn't serious and that she's going to be alright."

"So am I." Lucas said, sighing in relief. "So am I…"

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After Lucas had walked Haley out, he made his way down the hall toward his son's room.

He found Peyton sitting down on the bed with Kari in her arms next to Jack. He entered into the bedroom, sat down beside his son, and nodded at his wife.

Peyton took in a deep breath and turned her attention to Jack. "Honey, last night I went to the hospital to…take care of a couple things and while I was there I …fainted and a doctor…when he checked me over to make sure that I was okay…found a tumor in my head. Do you know what that is?"

Jack thought for a minute, but then shook his head no.

"Well a tumor is…something that is growing inside me…in my brain that shouldn't be there and can't stay there."

"Can a doctor take it out?" a worried Jack asked, hopefully.

Peyton nodded. "Yes. A doctor is going to take it out and—"

"How's he going to do that?"

"Well um…through my nose."

Jack eyed his mother skeptically. "Really?"

Peyton nodded.

"Does he…have to take it out at the hospital?"

Peyton nodded again. "Yes, soon I will have to…go to the hospital for the surgery and…I'll be gone for a couple of days but your Dad…he will be here with you and your sister and then before you know it I'll be back…tumor free and a-okay."

"You sure?" asked a still very concerned Jack.

"Yes." Peyton said as reassuringly as she could. "Scout's honor. Now, there's something else I want to talk to you about."

Peyton scooted closer to Jack, took his hand and stared into his blue eyes. "I am SO sorry that I missed your play."

Jack nodded. "It's okay Mom."

Peyton shook her head. "No, it's not. I should have been there for you and…it breaks my heart that I wasn't and that…for these past couple of days now I haven't really been the best mother to you or Kari."

Peyton paused for a moment, in an attempt to maintain her composure, and then continued on. "It's just…this time of year is really hard for me. I've been thinking a—about Sawyer a lot and…h—how much I miss her and wish she were still here with all of us."

"I wish she were still here too." Jack said, very quietly. "I miss her a lot."

"We know you do bud." Lucas said to his son. "We all miss her very much."

"But while…it's okay to miss and remember Sawyer, it's not okay to…forget about the people who are still here and...that's what I have been doing."

Peyton stopped talking once again, took in a deep breath and then continued. "I…I loved and still love your sister so much, but not any more than I love you and Kari. You two are my world and…I need to start proving that to the both of you…MUCH better than I have been…and I will. So Jack I…I really hope that you can…find it in your heart to forgive me for…how I have been treating you."

Jack nodded his little head. "Yes, I forgive you." He then hugged her and Kari.

Peyton sniffled, smiled and hugged him back tightly. "Oh I love you guys so much."

"I love you too." Jack said to her.

"Love you!" Kari shouted out. She then reached her arms out to Lucas. "Daddy!"

Lucas gave his little girl a small smile and joined in on the family group hug.

After a long while they all broke away from the embrace and Peyton directed her attention to Jack. "You have another show this afternoon, right?"

"Right!"

"Well I am going to be there…front row center, okay?"

Jack smiled and nodded.

Peyton then turned her attention to her daughter. "And I think I owe you a story."

Kari's eyes lit up and she jumped out of her mother's arms and scurried out of Jack's room. Lucas chuckled, got up and followed her.

The two of them returned moments later, with Lucas holding Kari and Kari carrying a book which she handed over to Peyton.

"Green Eggs and Ham…good choice."

Peyton opened up the book, laid it down on her lap and looked over at her husband. "Take it away Sam."

Lucas nodded, sat down and began. "I am Sam. I am Sam. Sam I am."

Peyton planted a disgusting look on her face. "That Sam I am! That Sam I am! I do not like that Sam I am!"

Lucas leaned in closer to his wife and asked. "Do you like green eggs and ham?"

"I do not like them Sam I am. I do not like green eggs and ham."

"Would you like them here or there?"

Peyton shook her head. "I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam I am."

"Would like them in a house? Would you like them with a mouse?"

"I do not like them in a house. I do not like them with a mouse. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them anywhere! I do not like green eggs and ham! I DO NOT LIKE them Sam I am!"

Kari began giggling and Jack grinned. The couple exchanged a quick look and smiled. Lucas then continued on. "Would you eat them in a box? Would you eat them with a fox?"

Peyton shook her head. "Not in a box. Not with a fox. Not in a house. Not with a mouse…"

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Okay so there it is! So…it looks like that tumor of Peyton's isn't all that serious, though the symptoms of it can sometimes cause headaches, delirium and hallucinations and it appears as though her and Lucas think it was the tumor that caused her to see the little girl she swore was Sawyer. And boy…Peyton had been holding in a lot of anger that she FINALLY let out! Which was good and I think that outburst, probably along with Lucas's words in the previous chapter, caused Peyton to see how she was acting towards Jack and Kari as when she returned home the next morning she apologized to the both of them for being so inattentive and promised that that was going to change. Then there was a nice little family group hug and Peyton and Lucas began animatedly reading Green Eggs and Ham to the kids. A sweet, sentimental chapter. But anyway, crazy unexplainable things are still to come! And as I've said, the next chapter has all ready been written and could be posted at anytime. Tomorrow, perhaps? Days from now? Who knows! It all depends on you guys! If you want me to post it soon, leave a review! – Jasmine

Next time…

Lucas and Peyton take Jack and Kari to the circus

Peyton comes to an unexpected, startling realization