Sorry this has been so long, again, school responsibilities are kind of insane right now…and I'm still just doing what I can to scrape stuff together right before it's due, lol.

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Jasper

I leaned back in the passenger seat of the Volvo, my eyes closing. It was all too much, far too much to absorb. My throat still hurt, but it was no longer the foremost pain. I needed her. Where was she? What was she doing? What other classes was she in? What did she like, other than history? How little I knew about her, ridiculously little. Now, I wanted to know everything.

Edward laughed a little, and I could feel his almost smug happiness. "You know, I never thought this would happen again. It's funny, hearing your thoughts. It reminds me so much of how…" His words trailed off, and I looked over to see him shaking his head, a warm smile on his face. "Of the beginning. My Bella."

"I never knew, not really. I mean, I felt it, but I-"

"Yes, I know. Amazing, isn't it? I think it's rather stronger than the imprinting instinct, to be honest. I've been inside the minds of imprinted wolves and while the draw is incredible, I believe our kind have them thoroughly beat. You'll have to get used to it now, she will always be in your thoughts."

"I don't mind." My voice was an awed whisper, thrilled at the thought. Of course she would always be on my mind, always foremost. It was only right.

"No, you never will."

I stared for a moment through the windshield, focused up on the school. Doing this from a distance was harder, and I started with a signature I knew. Emmett was…well, thinking of Rose, apparently, and I switched off of his mind quickly, not at all interested in the lust. She was a little harder to find, but there it was. When I felt her happiness I relaxed, basked in it. Her happiness felt better than any other I had ever sensed, more complete, more transforming.

Edward sighed, and the sadness from him then was enough to distract me. "Edward?"

"Forgive me. I was…listening to how her emotions felt, for you. I had always wondered if it would be like that, stronger, better. I've always wondered how…how it would feel to hear her mind. I think I understand now, and it's more than I thought I was missing." His tone was wistful, so full of longing. "I would give almost anything to hear it, just once."

I fully appreciated, now, how annoying that must have been for him, not being able to get any sort of read on her. Our gifts became another sense to us, as integral as our sight or smell. If I had not been able to feel her emotions, I would have, I knew, been furious. "I don't…want her blood as much as I did."

"No, and you never will again. But the danger is still there, and unless something happens to break you of it, you must be careful." His voice had turned stern, serious. "Very, very careful."

"What…'broke' you of it?"

Reflexively, I soothed his agony before I could even turn to look at him, my hand reaching out to catch his arm, to control the pain better through contact. He shuddered, lips pressing together into a hard line. Maybe I shouldn't have asked, maybe I shouldn't have brought it up at all…

He shook his head, though he shuddered again. "No. The memories are, however, far too strong to think of it comfortably. Even now. It took thinking I had lost her forever. When she came to me, I didn't even notice it for an hour or so, but I didn't even want it anymore…it wasn't an option. It still hurt, sometimes, but all desire to act on it had vanished, and there was no danger anymore. I could even handle her bleeding, after that..." He smirked, chuckling. "Which turned out to be a very good thing, because sometimes I just couldn't catch her in time. You know, I don't really miss the clumsiness, I couldn't be happier that she can't hurt herself now, but all the same there was something so endearing about it. I'm very glad I can at least remember it clearly."

So. That was how he had learned. My whole body chilled at the thought, my hands clenching into fists. Even the thought of anything happening to her… No, no matter how useful the lesson, I didn't want to have to learn it that way. I could fight the darkness, if I needed to. I could remember it so clearly, that time when he had left her, the series of miscommunication that had landed him in Italy, trying for suicide. Bella had jumped from a cliff on the beach in La Push, and though Jacob had rescued her she had been taken to the hospital where the doctor had a contacted Carlisle, as he had been the one to treat her last head injury. Rose had overhead the phone call, but only the discussion on how she had jumped. Wanting Edward home, she had decided it would be best to break the news to him then, to make it quick. And considering Charlie had been at the funeral of a friend, well… Just a series of very bad events.

Thinking of them, I was reminded of another one of those very bad events, the one that had set Edward's overactive conscience off and sent him running in the first place. Even then, it hadn't been his fault. It had been mine. Any joy that I had felt after realizing everything she was to me vanished, all my hopes shattered. I wanted, now, nothing more from life than to be her mate, to love her always. To hold her, to be there for her when she needed me…

It was all a fantasy, dreams I could never have. I had let myself forget that most crucial of all facts, there for awhile. I had forgotten who I was, what I was. I could feel it, the cold that came as I was plunged into that understanding. If any of us were a monster, I was. And I could never, ever allow myself to bring her down to my level, not when she deserved so much more than that.

"Jasper." His voice was calm, patient. As if he were talking to a five year old. "As I recall, you never understood my hesitation in changing Bella. Not once I knew how I loved her."

I shook my head frantically, but was for a moment beyond words. I swallowed, structured my thoughts. "It isn't…no, I have no problem with that." I wasn't hung up on souls like Edward. Either we had them or we didn't, but either way mine was shot to hell. And it didn't concern me enough that I would ever worry about hers. No, that worry was so minor it was almost laughable, so insignificant when compared with the larger picture. She was…she was Alice. She was everything good. Strong, certainly, but not in the way that I was. She came by her inner strength honestly, from depth of heart.

I, on the other hand, was beyond tarnished, beyond damaged even. The marks left on me by decades of war were as equally scarring on the inside as the marks on my skin. She deserved much better than me.

"You've always been too hard on yourself, Japser you-" His voice was so tried, still so patronizingly calming. I couldn't take it.

I pulled them up then, the memories I hadn't even let him see. I skimmed through quickly, letting him see a wide range, lingering on the worst parts. I remembered slaughtering a group of year old newborns, let him feel the mechanical nature of it, let him hear the screams and feel that I felt nothing. I remembered sneaking into the bedroom of a child in Mexico City, remembered the way he felt in my hands as he struggled until his blood was drained. He had seen Maria lift something she shouldn't have, and while he had seemed to think nothing of it, she had wanted him to die. I was her right hand, always. Ah, and Maria, there was always that. The memory of the reward I had received for killing the child, one day among hundreds I had spent with her. The insane relationship we shared that was nothing like love and hate but was instead a strange mix of hate and respect and lust. I followed her because I was a soldier; it was ingrained so very deeply in me to follow orders without question. I took her 'rewards' because she was beautiful, intense, strong, and it kept me in her favor. She had wanted me from the moment she saw me, and for years I did not mind being her favorite pet, a glorified guard dog. I could see it more clearly now, of course, could see that that was all that I ever was. Her pet, her weapon. I could feel disgust at my actions now, but it was far too late to change them, far too late to change the fact that the man I had been then and the man I was now were still not so very different, no matter how far I had come. Just as part of me would always be Confederate Major Whitlock, part of me would always be her head of security, her captain. Her assassin.

I took a deep breath, shaking a little from the power of the memories. Seeing them, dwelling on them had confirmed what I had already realized. There was too much darkness in me. I did not deserve her, and there was no hope that I ever could. That stupid human boy, for all his faults, he deserved her more than I did. I was nothing more than a tamed killer, and it was laughable that I had ever for a moment entertained the idea that I could be anything else, that I could actually be capable of being her mate in the conventional sense. No. I could watch over her, always, and I would have to because I would not be able to bear not knowing. But I could not be any closer than that.

I heard Edward take a deep breath, felt his uneasiness as he sifted still through my memories. No, he hadn't known it was that bad. He was a little shocked, looking at it all for the first time. Good. I had done my job, then. If I could make him understand-

"You're still wrong, Jasper." he tapped his fingers slowly on the steering wheel, thinking. "The things that you did, in Mexico, that part of your life is over. Yes, you have demons that I don't have and can't fully understand. But the reason they pain you the way they do is because of the good man that you are, and that overshadows everything else. You can do this. You were meant to."

"Then someone fucked up, because I can't do this."

"Carlisle believes God-"

"And as much as I respect our father I'm not sure I believe in God, Edward, because no God would bring me to her. Except as punishment, and she can have done nothing this bad." And even if this was punishment for her, I wouldn't go along with it. No way in hell.

He froze, then struck with all the speed of a snake, hand clamping around my wrist. "Don't leave her, Jasper. I made that mistake; I won't let you make it." His voice was hard, deadly serious and I knew he meant it. He would stop me with force, if necessary.

"That was different, Bella loved you." My chest ached as I said the words, something inside clawing with the desire to know how that would feel, the certainty that she loved me… But no, I couldn't think it, I shouldn't.

"I have seen her in your memories, Jasper, I'm not certain that she doesn't-"

"She doesn't love me, Edward she-"

"She said your name!" He snapped, yelling at me in a voice that was almost a snarl. I should have known better than to even consider leaving her around him, should have known what a sore point this would be. "Yes. You should know better. But you should also know that I'm right, on this. And I don't want to see you make my mistake, because you'll never forgive yourself, Jasper." His voice quieted, taking on that hollow tone I remembered far too well. There had been nothing I could do for him, nothing that would comfort him. The pain had been intense beyond all understanding. "You'll never forgive yourself, not as long as you live. You'll be forced to live with the fact that you almost killed the one you love…and believe me, whatever self hatred you feel right now, it has nothing on that. And even that pain is laughable if you compare it with actually losing her. It could happen, you know. I was simply lucky. It could have been too late."

I took a deep breath, focusing before I spoke. "All the same. I don't believe it's far enough, yet, that she would care that much." It hurt, saying it, but it was still true. I would be the only one hurt, now.

"You don't know that."

"You don't know I'm wrong."

He sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose hard. "Alright, we can solve this rather simply. I'll listen to her, and I promise to tell you the truth." He sighed again. "The whole truth, even if you're right. Even though I don't want you to go, if she would truly be alright, I will tell you."

I hesitated, thinking it over. He was right, in a sense. I had seen the aftermath of what leaving Bella had done to her, to Edward, to their relationship…

"Yes. Alright." But he was going to be wrong, and I couldn't hope otherwise. It would be better that way, for her sake. I shouldn't be hoping that he would find anything, shouldn't be hoping that I meant anything at all to her.

No matter how angry with my own lack of emotional control it made me, I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop hoping.

''''''''''''''''''''''''

"Come on, Jasper, if this is going to work, I want to make sure her thoughts are going to be on you first. It won't kill you to come outside."

No, but it might kill me to see her, if this was going to be the last time for a long time. It would be harder to leave, then, much harder. Still, he had a point, and I could see that if I didn't play along none of this would get anywhere. Sighing, I stepped outside into the courtyard, took a seat by Rose at the table. "Happy?" I muttered it darkly, stabbing at Rose's tray with a fork hard enough to shatter the plastic.

"Very. Act normal. And wait."

Rose scoffed, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Act normal? Jasper? He doesn't know how."

I rolled my eyes, nudged her with my elbow. "Yeah, and I missed you over the weekend too."

"Where were you?"

"Everywhere you weren't. Where's Emmett?"

"Still getting his food. And I still think you're both insane. It's like watching a cheetah fall in love with a gazelle, it's ridiculous. Why can't you stick to your own species?" Her distaste was clear, and though I knew she was right, my temper flared.

"Yeah? Like you did? So you should have let that bear kill Emmett, should have keep looking 'within your own species'? Well that's a shame, I'll have to tell him you made a mistake." I knew, about halfway through, that I was pushing her a little too far but I couldn't help it. I had kept my anger directed largely at myself, but now that I had an outlet, I hadn't been able to let it go. She was trembling, almost snarling and I caught her arm quickly, wincing as she reached over with her other hand and dug her nails into my arm hard enough to hurt. "Wait. You can fight me when we get home, I won't deprive you of that." I took the edge off both of our tempers, felt her grip relax. "And, for what it's worth, I know you love Emmett. I just thought you deserved a taste of your own medicine." I pushed away from the bench before she could answer, focused my attention for the first time on Edward. He was…

Happy. No, that wasn't right. Ecstatic. And grinning. It could only mean one thing, and I would have been lying to say that I didn't take that joy and magnify it a thousand times, my throat closing up with the power of it. She loved me? Could I really be so lucky? Or, rather, could she really be that cursed? I growled, hands coming up to rub my temples angrily. I shouldn't be happy, I should be furious, I should be terrified. I couldn't do this, I was the last person on earth cut out to love anyone and she…

"She loves you, Jasper. Desperately. But there's…there's so much more than that, this is incredible it's…." He was grasping for words, and I could feel the awe rolling off of him now, intermixed with the happiness. "she is the greatest prospective talent I have seen since Bella, perhaps…." He shook his head, laughing. "Incredible."

"Please, feel free to continue being confusing as all hell."

He laughed harder, shoulders shaking. "I'm sorry, but this is…" he trailed off, his eyes widening farther, a frustrating mix of shock and awe in his emotions. "Fascinating."

"Edward." I growled, pacing behind him. "You're getting annoying."

He grinned, teeth flashing. "Sorry, sorry. She…this really is incredible."

And he was enjoying prolonging my agony. Good for him.

"No, I'm not. Well, alright, a little. But only because I know I'll tell you in a minute, and because I know you've already decided to stay."

I cocked my head at him curiously. Yes, I was staying. I couldn't leave like this, not if it would hurt her. But I hadn't exactly thought that either. So how did he-

"I know, because she knows." His eyes sparkled, and he leaned forward on the bench, elbows resting on his knees. "She sees things, Jasper. She can see the future."

Well, that one I wasn't expecting. "…what?"

"Shocking, isn't it? I would have had a hard time believing it if I hadn't seen it in her mind, the visions she's had, the things that have come true…" He waved in my direction, and I felt a little smugness seep into his emotions. "She knew about you before you did, knew from the moment she saw you. Her visions seem largely random, she at least has found no trigger for them and she can't summon them at will though I believe that would change if she became one of us. She did, however, see something about you just now, and I knew you weren't going anywhere."

I still hadn't recovered from the shock that she could know the future, that she had known about me from the very beginning. If she had known, then that meant Carlisle had to be right, I would have had to have been meant for her, because I certainly hadn't known, not from the beginning… But at the moment, there were questions I needed to ask. "What did she see, just now? We were together?"

He chuckled, stood from the bench. "Yes. I hope you like dancing."

"Dancing?"

"School dance, next Friday. Apparently, you're going."

Dancing? Honestly? I hadn't danced since…well, sometime when I was human, at some party of my family's. I could barely remember the way the room had looked, the myriad colors of hoop skirts, my own disinterest in most of the women. I had found no lady worth courting, yet, but I had hoped that when I came home from the war, that would change. But I had never come home, and that had been my last dance. Over a century before. I barely remembered it, true, but still it didn't really seem like my thing…why would she see me asking her? I mean, I would if she really wanted it, but…

"You never pay attention, do you? Look." Edward grabbed my shoulders, wheeled me around to face the building, pointing to the neon yellow paper on the door, printed with black writing.

Oh. Girls choice. Oh. "And did you get the chance to see why I said yes?"

Edward laughed, releasing me to return to Bella's side. "Do you really have to ask? Wait until she asks you, then try to say no. Actually please do, I'd love to watch. That should be entertaining. She's rather annoyed with you already, you know. You're moving far too slow for her tastes."

"Ah, go to hell." But I didn't mean it, and it was clear in my voice. A good thing, because I already had Rose angry at me, I didn't really want both my sisters at my throat. For a moment, I almost sat down beside Bella to talk, to be part of the family again. I had been even more distant than usual lately, and her feelings especially were easily hurt. But she was sitting alone, and according to Edward, she loved me…

It wasn't even hard enough to be classified as a decision. I was at her side quickly, folding my legs to sit cross-legged on the bench beside her. "Feeling better today?" I knew it already of course. She felt fine, happy now that I was with her. I think a part of me had known all along that Edward was right. It was right here, interwoven in the happiness I felt from her every time she saw me. It wasn't as clear yet as I knew it would be with time, as she grew more comfortable with it, but it was there.

"Much better, thank you."

"Mm. So…how did you meet him anyway?" I wasn't sure why I asked, but I couldn't stop myself. I was far too curious as to how that…that fool had ever gotten her. Honestly, I wanted to know what it was about him she had liked, because in knowing that, I might have some idea of what I should do. As much as I didn't want to be like him, I wanted very much to know what drew her in.

She leaned back against the brick wall to face me, one leg hanging off the side of the bench. "We've known each other ever since we were kids. He was the first friend I had when I moved here, the only one that would talk to me at first. I never really made any other friends, either, other than my brother...and Tyson was always around. He's a good guy, really…or at least, he used to be. I think he'll turn out alright, someday."

I nodded rigidly, suddenly worried. She talked about him fondly, lovingly. Far too fondly, I thought. Maybe Edward wasn't as right as he thought he was, maybe…. "Will you forgive him?" I did well, I thought. I could barely hear the tight bitterness in my own voice, and I was almost certain she wouldn't hear it at all.

"I'm sure I will, someday." Her voice was gentle, and for a moment I could feel something inside me starting to shatter. She slid closer then, and I stopped breathing to deal with her sudden closeness. "But will I ever be in a relationship with him again? No, never. He wasn't right for me anyway, and I sort of already knew that. It would have ended anyway, even if this had never happened."

The relief I felt then was weakening, almost a physical force. I probably shouldn't have doubted her, but I couldn't help it. I didn't like the way she talked about him, but I felt better hearing this confirmation from her that she would not take him back. Even the thought brought a growl to my throat that I swallowed quickly, harshly. I had to behave, to control the instincts I didn't want her to see, and that was certainly one of them. I nodded, though I didn't look at her.

"Jasper?"

I could feel my heart leap, the jolt drawing air into my lungs. My throat burned, and I clenched my hands tighter, but the burn almost didn't matter. I loved the way she said my name. I could have listened to it forever. "Yes?"

"Are you busy on Friday?"

She didn't sound nervous, but according to Edward she already knew her answer. Of course, she wouldn't be nervous. "No."

"Would you come to the dance with me?"

I looked at her then, and even if I had entertained turning her down (and honestly, I hadn't), I never could have. Those beautiful blue eyes of hers were both pleading and sparkling as she looked up at me, and she looked so small beside me, her hand next to mine on the bench only half its size. She was adorable, and she was utterly irresistible. "Yes?" It came out as a question, betraying more of my uncertainty than I had intended.

She laughed softly, grinning. "Good."

The bell rang, calling us back in to class. I rose quickly, then paused, thinking. Was I strong enough? Could I actually touch her? I took a breath hesitantly, found that I could do it without wincing. Well…it seemed safe enough. I held my hand out to her, still hesitant though my movements were far too fast for her to have noticed even an instants hesitation.

Her eyes widened and her hand came up slowly, carefully coming to rest in mine. "Thanks." She stood equally carefully, and once she was at my side I did not let her go. "Does this mean…" she seemed uncertain now, and I resisted the urge to laugh at her. So, some of her confidence left her when she hadn't seen the situation beforehand.

"It means whatever you want it to mean." I meant the words honestly. If she wanted us to be together now, then we were. I was almost certain that it was what she wanted, but even if it wasn't I could hardly keep from touching her, now. The technicalities were all up to her.

"Then we're…" She still didn't finish the sentence, and this time I couldn't help a low chuckle, though I hoped fervently that she couldn't hear.

"I'm sure that technically, you should have longer to mourn the loss of your last relationship but as that doesn't seem to bother you-"

"Not in the slightest." Her fingers tightened on mine, and I smiled, squeezed her fragile hand ever so gently.

"Then we are. Whatever it is that we were talking about anyway." I smirked at her, enjoying the flash of annoyance I felt from her at my words.

"Jasper-"

"Shh, we're gonna be late. Come on."

''''''''''''''''''''''''

I'm skipping English, and I won't be riding home with you, Edward. I couldn't hear his response, of course, but I was certain that he heard. I slipped into the woods on the edge of campus and broke into a run, heading home. The brief contact I had had with her had thrilled me, maybe a little too much. Maybe it was reckless, but I wanted this, and while I wasn't screwing up, I thought I might as well keep going.

It was practically no time at all until I was slowing in front of the house. Esme was there in front, planting bulbs for the next spring. She stood up quickly, brushing dirt off on her jeans. "Jasper, honey!"

I flashed her a smiled, slowed fully to a walk as I changed direction and came toward her. "Hey, mom."

I could feel her mix or worry and relief, and I wasn't at all surprised that she wrapped her arms around me as soon as I was close enough. "Are you alright, sweetheart?"

"I'm fine."

I could feel that she didn't believe it, and she pulled back, reaching up to brush my hair away from eyes. "You and Edward haven't been fighting again, have you?"

"No, mom. We talked yesterday, everything's alright. I'm not angry at him."

Her eyes sparked, her lips beginning to twitch into a smile. "Then he's right?"

I sighed, rolled my eyes. "You're both impossible."

"Oh, Jasper!" She flung her arms around my neck this time, tried to pull me down to squeeze me properly. "You boys are all just too tall." Mock annoyed, but she was laughing and I swept her up, raising her up to my level.

"Better?"

"Jasper!" She ruffled my hair and we laughed together for a moment before I saw her eyes turn serious, unwilling to let the conversation go. "But how are you taking everything? You were so upset on Sat-"

I covered her lips, gave her a smile that was mostly natural. "I'm fine, Esme. Don't worry." I brushed a swift kiss across her forehead before setting her down, darting quickly to my bike by the garage and swinging onto it.

"Are you… You're going to change her?"

I froze, hands tight on the handlebars.

"I'm sorry, but I did talk to Edward last night, and he believed that she really is your mate, and if she is…"

If she is, then there are only two choices. Try the insanity he did, or change her. At the time, I had thought Edward waited far too long to change Bella, and my opinions on that fact hadn't really changed. So, where did that leave me? Changing her, a subject I had very carefully avoided. It was too much to think about at once, way too much. I had just found her, I wasn't ready to think about any other changes, honestly. And how would I even tell her? How did you even begin a conversation like that? I'm in love with you, Alice. And by the way, because of that, I have to bite you. Yeah, that wouldn't be a weird conversation at all. I swallowed back the venom in my throat that rose at the thought, and I instantly found the fault in my words. She needed to be changed, yes, I could agree on that. But I couldn't be the one to do it, no matter how much I wished I could. Edward had changed his Bella. It was his venom that had coursed through her veins, his that had marked her, changed her, made her his forever. It was stupid, perhaps, but an attractive thought, more to me than it had been to him, though he had certainly felt the draw. I was more in touch with our instincts, with the urges particular to our kind. And as my mate, it would mean a great deal to me if she were mine in every sense. Still, I couldn't even think it. It wasn't an option, and it never could be. No matter how far I had come, in that one respect I was utterly deadly. I could not taste human blood and resist it. Not with a typical human, and certainly not with her. It was beyond out of the question.

"Jasper?" She had come to my side while I was thinking, her hand curving over my shoulder. "Please, don't be angry at me. I was only-"

"I'm not. No, you're right, of course I have to. I want to. But as for when…" I'd have to talk to Carlisle, the sooner the better I supposed. And hope that when I told her everything, she didn't hate me. "I don't know. " I kicked the stand up, coaxed the engine to roar to life. "I'll be home tonight, later."

She said nothing else, but I could feel her worry trailing me as I drove away.

'''''''''''''''''''''

My entrance was a little more spectacular than it probably needed to be, but I wanted to make her smile. I pulled the bike right up to the sidewalk behind the school, leaning on my left leg and letting it idle while I watched. I could feel the awe surrounding me as the other students milled past on their way to their buses or cars, barely noticing the ones that stopped and stared. Several of the boys were practically drooling, and I would have been laughing at their jealousy if I could spare them enough attention to care.

The only person I was interested in took her time, but I wasn't disappointed by the look on her face when she came out the doors. Her eyes widened in total shock, but that only lasted as long as it took me to jerk my head back, summoning her toward me. Her smile was absolutely brilliant, and I was glad I had thought to do this. I could my very skin warm at the sight. She all but ran the distance to me, breathless as she reached out to touch the bike. "Really?"

"Really. Get on."

She climbed up eagerly, arms wrapping around my waist. Unless it was tactics, I had never been one for really thinking things through and this was certainly one of those things. I was used to pull of her blood, the draw of her scent. What I wasn't used to were the more human cravings, the ones I had not indulged in years, not since I had left Maria. The feel of her warm body pressed against me from behind, her legs falling to the outside of my hips, her hands on my stomach, all of it was both familiar and new. New, because nothing with Maria had ever felt this intense, this strong. My whole body flamed with it, my hands tightening until my knuckles were pure white. Well, this was something I would have to get used to as well, it seemed. Ironic, that in my desperation to ward against the desire for her blood I had all but forgotten desire itself. An emotion that, like all others, was stronger for our kind than it was for theirs. Considering that desire in any form was one of the strongest urges, that really was saying something. I took a deep breath, forced my grip to loosen. "Are you ready?"

"Yes!"

I focused on her happiness, drank it in. It felt wonderful beyond description, and it helped calm me. "Hold on tight, then. And you'll have to tell me where I'm going."

I could feel her nod, and she took to her task enthusiastically, leaning forward to give me directions I didn't need. The feel of her warm breath on my neck was something else new, equally wonderful. I wished she would have kept talking, but at the moment conversation was failing me, and I didn't really know what else to say. Far too quickly, I was pulling up in front of her house, gliding to a stop in front of the mailbox. "Have fun?"

"That was incredible!" She slid off, laughing, and I noted with pleasure that she clung to my arm just a little longer than necessary. "Thank you, Jasper."

The thought of her thanking me for that was almost laughable, considering I should be thanking her for even letting me speak to her, much less anything else. I looked down, away from her far too honest eyes. "Tomorrow morning?"

A wave of anxiety hit her then, and my chest constricted. Maybe she didn't want to spend that much time with me. If not, that was fine, I could back off. I could do whatever she needed. "I…I would love that, so much, but I need to ask a favor of my brother and I think…" I felt her genuine fear and my head jerked up, eyes meeting hers. Yes, she was terrified. Why? If he even thought of hurting her, I'd snap his neck. But she didn't need to know that.

"Is everything alright, Alice?"

"Fine, I just…he won't want to do it, and I think it'd be better if I let him drive me tomorrow."

I nodded, trying my damndest to pretend I couldn't feel her fear. I'd be following them closely tomorrow, on foot. If I could feel anything approaching a dangerous level of violence from him, I could get her safely out of there. "Alright then."

"But…maybe tomorrow afternoon…" She felt worried, afraid I would turn her down. As if I ever could.

"Of course." I smiled for her, the one I already knew she liked best. Her heart stuttered, and I felt a measure of relief. At least for the moment I could make her happy. "Have a good night, Alice." I would probably be back to check on her in a few hours, just in case. Though perhaps hunting would be smarter.

"You too."

I revved the engine, watching her in my side mirrors as I pulled away. She watched at least until I was around the corner, and I had the feeling she kept watching long after that.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

He wasn't in his office when I got there, like before. This time, I was calm enough to sit down in his chair, elbows resting on the arms, my fingers tapping together absently. I wasn't any more knowledgeable, really, than I had been before. Clueless, in a sense. There really was no immediate way I could see to break the news, no way to know if she'd run screaming or accept me, accept us. What was natural? Was she, as Carlisle believed, destined to be my mate? If so, would that make her take to us easily, as Bella had? Should we do as he had with Esme, give her no choice but simply start the change, explain to her afterward? No, I didn't really like that. It would work, I was sure. She would have to accept it, if it was forced on her. Still, it made me uneasy. I didn't like the way the thought felt, the almost sickening guilt that came with it. Even if she probably wouldn't say no, she deserved the right to. And if they were wrong about fate, then the possibility that she would say no would be exponentially higher.

The door slid open suddenly, and I looked up, absolutely calm now that I was sure of at least part of what I would ask.

"Jasper?"

"Carlisle. We need to talk." I took a deep breath, calmed his anxiety. "I have a favor to ask of you."

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And we'll see their conversation next time…because it's a good stopping place, and this chapter is already longer than normal, lol