Chapter 2

Gohan's POV

I can't believe this.

I feel like everything is a nightmare and soon I'll wake up and see my dad right beside me, telling me that's ok that he's killed Cell, and that we'll be fine. But I allready knew the thruth. There was no nightmare. But Cell died, and at what cost? my father's death. It was all my fault, it's always my fault, because I'm not strong enough, I'm slowing them down, or like this time, I let the opportunity pass.

I killed him, my dad is dead because of me, if I had acted when they told me, he'd been alive, and we'd go fishing. Now I've destroyed my life, my family. I know dad's disappointed of me, that's the reason he wouldn't come back, because I killed him, he must hate me, that's why he didn't want to come to life again.

Why they always had to die because of me? Mister Piccolo, Kuririn, and my dad.

I t's raining now, and I stopped. I've been walking for hours in the forest, It was dark. I remember bitterly how I used to be scared of the forest at night, but that was long ago. When my parents loved me, when there was no monsters to kill, or the world to save.

I feel another wave of hate tear me inside as I remember

It's been a day or two since my mother trow me out of the huse yelling that She hated me, and that she never wanted to see me again, she kicked me out of the family. I already knew that she hated me, despised me, she told me every day, since my dad's death, but it didn't stop that for hurting so much. I don't blame her, I'm a murderer. I tried so hard to please her, to make her feel like I'm not a total waste. I doubled my studies, I helped her to keep clean the house, I gave up training, I took her shopping, I took my dad's chores, and repared the things that didn't work. I did anything I could. But she still hated me. I put away my grief, and my feeling of desperation, sadness, and guilt to be there for her, I tried to be strong for her.

Dad, though, I admired him I knew he prefered trainig, and fighting powerful enemies that spend time with me and my mother. He said he wanted to stay dead so he could train more in the other world. Could he be that selfish? Or that's a excuse from comming back? Since I was little he prefered go trainig in the woods than play with me, he didn't like to train much with me either, since I'm not a worthy opponent. And my mother, would be even more disappointed if I told her that I didn't want to become a great scholar, as always made me think, she never asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up; she was alway pressuring me to study so hard, telling me that I was going to be left behind in my studies when I knew no normal kid my age had my academic level.

A little voice in my head advised me that with my dad dead or not dead, in the end the result wouldn't be much different, but the guilt sitll won't go away.

I never felt so helpless

Mother said I was a lost case, a murderer, that she didn't want to waste her money, time and love in me anymore, that I didn't desetve it., that I wasn't a part of her family anymore She didn't want me near to her baby when it's born.

My efforts didn't stopped her for trow me away.

Now I'm alone in my own.

So I walked ruthlessly for almos two days, since I didn't have a place to go.

I feel numb, so many emotions revolting inside of me.

I still can't believe this. My vision gets blurry and I didn't think it's because the rain.

I want to scream, and I wanna cry and destroy something, but that would be weakness, and it won't change anything. Besides Mister Piccolo hates weakness.

Mister Piccolo, I wonder if he would mind…. No! He must hate me too.

I felt a tight knot form in my throat, and my heart constricting. At the though of Mister Piccolo, disgusted by me. I always admired him, he's so strong, and cool, and smart, and he's the only friend I had,t he only who really caed about me. I wanted to be like him when I grow up.

Damn I feel a tear escape my eye and bit my tongue to suppress a sob. I must not cry.