Lucky Star
Chapter 9- Coconut Cake
Things were tense around the shop. Well, more than usual. Now instead of Neji loiter around constantly, Sasuke joined gang of loiters in the corner with an unwilling Shikamaru who spent his time muttering unidentifiable words and staring at the ceiling.
"Too bad the one they're looking out for isn't here," Hinata commented bringing out a tray of cookies, "How many days until the date?"
"2 days, 2 hours, and 15 minutes and it's not a date," Tenten reprimanded and somehow managed to chirp at the same time, she had been either; chirping, skipping, or humming for the past 2 days since the revealance of Tenten's date, which all three traits caused either annoyance, vein bursting, and burned sugar, in Neji's case, all three plus a loss of a target to annoy. Tenten skipped away with another order while Ino slugged back to the counter, "I'm exhausted watching Tenten," she slumped her head on the counter, "Someone make her stop!"
Hinata sighed and patted Ino's head, "If we could, we would. Neji's been more annoying ever since then. All he ever does now is glare at the wall and be emo"
Sakura glanced at Hinata confusingly, "Like he doesn't already."
Shrugging, Hinata headed back into the kitchen, "Well more than usual."
"Which would mean 25/8," Ino said pilling orders on her tray.
"That's impossible," Sakura commented analyzing Ino.
Ino scoffed, "Not for Neji," she said rolling her eyes, walking away.
From the gloomy dark corner of loiterers, the world's end was being plotted, at least the long and painful death of Gaara.
"How about hanging him but leaving the chair right in front of him?" Shikamaru suggested, wondering why he was involved with this mess.
"Not evil enough," Sasuke absently commented, not looking up from his book that happened to be titled, "Torture techniques for self proclaimed genius prodigies."
Shikamaru made a mental note never to get him mad, "Chinese water torture?"
"Not painful enough," Neji grunted, also happening to be reading. Shikamaru leaned forward to read the title and winced, "How to Hide a Dead Body for Cold-Hearted Bastards." Really, who had time to be writing these types of books?
"ODing him?"
"Not painful or evil enough" Neji and Sasuke simultaneously answered and resumed muttering and plotting that somehow involved mayonnaise and a clown nose.
Shikamaru sweatdropped, this was not going to bode well.
While it was obvious to the customers, who were used to the everyday dramas of the café and came mostly to see a live drama, that the atmosphere was even worse than normal, Tenten didn't, or appeared not to, seem to notice the dark cloud hanging over the café.
"Say Tenten," Sakura asked wiping up a table, "Are you sure that you really don't like Gaara?" Tenten was never the one to really clue into her or anyone's feelings related to romance.
"Nope," Tenten instantly replied, "He's not my type, anyways he likes you."
Sakura paused in mid-air, "Huh? But he doesn't even know me," then processed the first part of her statement, "I didn't know you had a type." Ino, who was walking by heard this, "You have a type?"
Rolling her eyes, "Duh, every girl has a type. Mine's just more specific."
"Must be really specific," Ino muttered.
Ignoring her, Tenten continued, "He must be smart, athletic, handsome, know how to cook, sew, and bake, and love me for me," she ended sighing staring into the distance. Sakura and Ino just stared at her.
"What!? A guy like that exist somewhere out there and I won't be content if I get anything less than that!" she said determined.
Sakura turned to Ino, "You know, I read in an article recently that the reason most women aren't getting married these days are because apparently we girls have to high of an expectation," she paused and stared at Tenten, "I wonder how they got to that conclusion."
Tenten frowned back, "Ha ha ha, in the future, you two will be jealous of me because I have the perfect husband, while you two went for Mr. Second rate."
"Right," Ino said, holding out the word, "I'm just going keep going in life before my eventual dismise…over there," and promptly walked off.
Back on the dark side, the "Kill Gaara slowly and painfully," plan was not going very well.
"None of these are evil enough," Sasuke decided, "I could always ask Itachi."
"But don't you hate asking Itachi for advice," Shikamaru who just came back, asked in his near sleeping position.
"Yeah, but he's more emo and I am."
"Very true," Shikamaru agreed, "I swear, I don't know where Tenten's mind lives. She has the weirdest expectations of a husband."
By the stop of pages turning, he opened one eye to see Neji and Sasuke trying to get inside his head and figure out what he was talking about, "I'm guessing you want to know."
Neji closed his book with a slam, "Of course I want to know, as Tenten's future husband, I must know these things."
Shaking his head, Shikamaru commented, "If any of your fangirls ever found out this side of you, your popularity would just go down the drain."
"Not that he was ever more popular than me," Sasuke added.
"You're not worthy enough for my attention," Neji said to Sasuke, "Go on," he demanded to Shikamaru.
Shikamaru scratched his chin, "If I remember right, it was smart, athletic, handsome, know how to hook up, suck, and rake…and there was one last thing…love…something," he shrugged, "I wasn't paying enough attention."
"Well, duh, that list doesn't make sense," Sasuke retorted.
"Does Tenten ever make sense?" Shikamaru really wanted to know.
"When she's drunk."
" I'm disturbed."
"Not like you already weren't," Sasuke commented, "Now let's get back to work, Gaara's not going to kill himself you know." Realizing the stupidity of his statement, he amended his statement, "Not painfully and with torture, at least."
"I've got it," Neji suddenly interrupted, breaking his long moment of silence, "I'll be Tenten's perfect guy!"
"…"
"…"
"That was to retarded for me to even acknowledge," Sasuke finally decided after a long pause.
Neji steamrolled them with fire, determination, lust, evil, etc., etc. in his eyes, "I'm going to do it. It's the perfect plan! Gaara will kill himself in pain of not getting her and she'll be mine! Everybody wins!"
"Except for Gaara," Shikamaru noted, "Why do I get a feeling that things are only downhill from here?"
Sasuke took a drink from his tomato juice, "That's because you missed a couple of steps here, it's been downhill for a while now."
--;
For once, the shadows had nothing to say…due to the fact that they weren't there. They found out half way through the chapter that there was a big event at the bathhouses and went to try to find girls. Wish them luck…right.
--author's note--
Summer is a killer and I'm lazy. Not a very good combination.
NinjaPower signing out!