Disclaimer: Well I adore Yugioh and I adore the writer and author, thanks for such brilliant work of which I own nothing. Hey, it's cool.
Wow, mixed reviews, but well received. Thanks so much. It's a bit dark but interesting so I will continue in a steadying roll to complete this story. It's a little hard to write but it stretches my skill, so I will try to convey this message of emotions. Let me know how I am doing.
It is the night before Kaiba, Joey, Mokuba go to the hospital and see Serenity, maybe for the last time. It is a night filled with much stress, and emotions for all. Set back and enjoy.
Strong language, so be prepared.
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Chapter four: Revelations
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A very soft whimper floated over the stillness in the room, and woke Kaiba. He reached out and the realization his hand touched only air briefly unnerved him. Earlier Joey had comfortably fallen asleep in his arms, but Seto removed him and placed the blond in his camping futon that Mokuba made. It was a campout of sorts, little Kaiba's way of bring the boys together. However it would have been embarrassing to wake up in such a compromising position for the both of them, well for Joey anyway. Seto did not mind, or all least he thought he did not mind. His thoughts concerning the boy were becoming confounding and he hated it.
Seto watched the blond's face through blue eyes that narrowed into slits; he hoped his worst fears were not reality. Joey's eyelids danced in rapid motion an indication of deep dream sleep, most likely a nightmare. He bit down on his lower lip and the tiniest drop of blood seeped down his swollen mouth as he fought to hold back a scream. That did not stop the screams erupting in his head. 'Serenity!!' He wailed internally.
'I wonder if it is the same dream. No it's a nightmare,' thought Seto. 'Can I help him? Or will my presence make it worst? I know what it feels like to be in that hell you've created in your mind only to realize you cannot get out, at least until it is all over. You are so helpless it drags you deeper down into a dark void and no one can help you. Even if they wake you up every nerve in your body is on red alert. For the seconds that come after waking you will not trust your emotions, gods forbid if anyone is in the room with you. They suddenly look like intruders or worse, instigators. Nightmares are not to be toyed with because they exist on all levels. You look around for the residue of shadows that held you in the dark and now the light becomes dark and you see the shadows everywhere. Next you close your eyes, but you can't see anyway, so what the hell; dark becomes your friend, but only for a moment, because if you go to sleep again you just might continue falling faster into that pit of despair you just left. Yes I've lived with nightmares all my life.'
Seto watched the boy closely from his perch on the big bear chair. Unlike Mokuba and Joey who slept in futons on the floor, Seto chose to sleep in the chair; 'Hell it smells just like the boy,' he was comfortable. He removed the blanket from his lap and quietly walked over to the boy and leaned over his restless form.
Now Joey started to sway, his head moved irately from side to side. 'Dangerous, he's lost and in so much stress.' Soft moans tear from the blooded lips of the boy and pierce the blue-eyed boy's heart. He resisted the desire to shake the hazel –eyed boy senseless. 'Do I have the right to touch him so intimately?' Seto reached out to stroke the top of his head, and his hand stopped in mid-air. His fingers curled into a tight ball as he slowly drew his hand back. Doubt clouded his thoughts. Joey's moans grew in volume, waking the smaller Kaiba up.
"Nii-sama, is he going to be alright? I think you should wake him up. It's the nightmare, isn't it?" He wiped the sleep from his eyes and eased out of his futon only to sit next to the frighten boy. Joey continued to moan and bite at his lip.
"Nii-sama, he's hurting, please do something." Mokuba reached out to shake the boy, but Seto's hand stayed his and Seto touched Joey's brow. Warm sweat covered Seto's palm and he gasp at the sensation. Fingers now moist from the touch ghosted over his temple and Joey is quiet.
"Puppy, puppy, wake up," Seto leaned in closer and whispered, his warm breath tickled Joey's ear. He relaxed and slowly came out of his nightmare.
"Baby, come home." Fingers caressed the baby hairs on the back of Joey's neck and slid upward through his hair. Seto cradled his head with his other hand and lifted Joey's body upward, just a little above the cover. His moaning stopped and he allowed a small scream to escape. Cries followed and sobs continue to rack his tired body as the realization that he was awake worked its way into his conscious mind. Seto muffled these primitive demonstrations of pain by burying Joey's head deep within his chest.
Mokuba still on page one of this episode is miffed that his brother called the blond 'baby'. 'I know they are not fighting, but I have never seen Nii-sama so gentle with anyone before. I wonder if he even knows he cares. Seto and Joey together would really be cool in my eyes, but that could never be, there is just too much anger between them. It was only Serenity that kept them together in the same house for so long.'
Disorientated, confused, but mostly frightened, Joey lifted his head from the warmth of a firm chest, well it felt like a chest. 'Why am I laying on a chest and whose is it?' He pushed away and slowly raised his head up and next his eyes open only to tangle with the deep blue eyes of Seto Kaiba. For a moment time stood still, his heart fluttered and he wanted to understand why. Joey wiped his eyes and pulled the blanket up to his chest, and locked his knees underneath his chin. His arms encircled his legs tightly while he tried to stem the embarrassing blush on his cheeks. 'What is this I am feeling? Whatever it is I want it to fucking go away.'
His eyes roved over to the smaller Kaiba and the pity in Mokuba's eyes really pissed Joey off. He quickly gathered up the blanket and attempted to leave. 'Look at them all sad for poor Joey. Can't sleep at night, needs a hug from Seto Kaiba; I hate this. I can feel them staring at the poor lost soul. Damn them. I've had enough. Nobody understands how I feel. I'm just like a pile of dried dog shit that the flies pass over.' He used the blanket to hide the trembling in his legs and stood up with downcast eyes.
"Joey, I mean it's not good to keep everything inside," Mokuba's pleas went unanswered.
'Look at him so calm, cool, I hate this, they both make me sick, and I gotta go, before I lose my damn mind.' Joey still in the aftermath of his nightmare could not get the visions out of his mind, even with his eyes open. His legs were shaky, but he continued to walk out of the room. 'I don't need them. Shit, just a few more steps and I will be out of this depressing house.'
"Seto, stop him! Joey if you talk about dreams and nightmares it will help." Mokuba realized+ his mistake too late. Seto told him never to bring up the dreams or nightmares.
Joey swung around, and a flash of rage entered his eyes, all of it aimed at Seto.
"Seto, how could you tell him?! Damn you!!" the shakes intensified, and stopped the blond dead in his tracks. His hazel eyes deepened to dark brown with specks of black around the iris. The blanket wrapped around his trembling legs fell to the ground and he was, to put it bluntly, horrified. 'Ass, he always had a way of hurting me, stripping me inside and out, and even in this so called truce of over a year nothing had changed. Maybe the degree, but Seto always got the last word. I hate him.'
Joey functioning on adrenaline mixed with raw nerves, glared at Seto. He ached all over 'It's not like it was a big secret, but Seto had witness his nightmares before, well a few sleepless nights, but he never touched him or actually been in the room with him. They just talked about him not sleeping and crap. You know boy stuff. Well I thought it was something between us, not to be shared. Well it's not like I told him to keep it quiet, but shit.' He lashed out at the first person, which happen to be Mokuba. Well on second thought Mokuba asked the question.
"What is it Mokuba? You want Seto to tell me a bedtime story?! You think big brother can make the hurt go away?! I don't think Seto has enough money? And I don't want your pity." Joey's icy glare dared Seto to say a word.
Seto's forced relaxing now looked strained. Tiny lines appeared on his forehead and the dark circles from lack of sleep intensified around his eyes. 'Nobody fucks with Mokuba, nobody.'
"Joey it's not like that, we are your friends and talking about things always makes it a little better."Mokuba pleaded with his eyes and moved a little closer to Seto.
Seto just glanced at the boy and turned away. 'I know this is going to get really nasty.' He thought. 'Maybe it's time. I've had about all I can take tippy-toeing around him.'
"Ok Mokuba, I will ask Seto if he wants to make it better. It's so easy, you're here with your big brother and Serenity is not. So Seto want to trade places with me?" A shrill laughter erupted from Joey's mouth.
"Joey, don't do this." Seto whispered. "Don't hurt Mokuba because you think I screwed you over."
"Why not Seto, I'm so sick of this shit, walking around and smiling as though everything is fine. You want to know how I really feel, do you?!"
"It's ok, Nii-sama," Mokuba's lip quivered. He had never seen Joey so hysterical.
"What in the heaven's name can you do Mokuba but give me advice and platitudes. I want my sister back. She was hurting so much and I wasn't there for her. She . . . she didn't trust me enough to help her and now I have to make the decision to end her life or let her continue as a vegetable with mush for a brain if she wakes up." Tears gathered in his eyes as the hated words continued to flow.
"The nightmare that plays over and over in my head it that damn picture of you and my sister in that house. She's in your arms and I want to piss. Did Seto tell you the photographs plastered the picture all over the news and TV stations across the county?!" Now Joey was screaming and the tears flowed in time with the heated words. It was too late to take anything back.
"Nii-sama, what is he talking about?" Mokuba was shocked.
"Oh a little something you left out, Seto-baby. Didn't tell little Mokuba the whole story. You were still in the hospital and Seto paid a cool million to explain the attempted suicide was some kind of sick joke. He even had holograms to show how it was done. Yeah Mokuba, Seto turned my sister's little suicide attempt with you into a game, just to protect your name. You see everyone thinks she's visiting friends." Joey's laughter became hysterical as he advanced on Seto.
"Well, since no one pays much attention to a shy withdrawn teen it didn't take much for her to be missed or what's the saying , out of sight out of mind; right Seto. But you Mokuba, everyone thought you were just away. So your perfect little world is intact and mine is fucked."
"Seto is this true, how could you do this to Joey and Serenity?! She deserves more than this." Mokuba turned on Seto.
"So whose business is it that she is in the hospital? What purpose would it serve?" Seto tried to reason with Mokuba.
"Shut up, Seto. Don't say another word. You might regret it." Mokuba lips were tight.
"Forget it Mokuba, I've gotten over that, it's not the source of my nightmares. I want to know, why you and not me? Did you cut her wrist, did she cut your gut. So what happened?"
"That's enough Joey," now Seto met Joey face to face; it was just like old times.
"Seto stop don't fight please." Even with the cool water flowing from the fountain the temperature in the room was hot.
"Yeah, Seto bring it on," Tears flowed down Joey's cheeks he was so hurt. His heart burst inside his chest and he really did not know if he wanted to fight or just crawl inside a hole.
Seto sighed, 'What am I thinking; this is a coward's way out. Why do I let him get under my skin? Even now I feel his anger, but I also know he needs me.'
"Mokuba, he's right. If I had to live this all over again I couldn't change this. I'd want you here by my side. It doesn't make me evil to be glad you survived."
"Nii-sama, you can't mean for Serenity to be in the hospital." Mokuba's eyes misted over and sadness overwhelmed his sprit.
Seto simply nodded his head in Joey direction. "Joey I've never lied to you how I feel; I will not lie to you now."
"Yeah I know Seto. You piss me off at every turn." Seto could see the words were wrenched out of his soul. "Why won't you cry for me? I don't know what you want from me, anymore, Seto!!"
"Just tell me Mokuba; I want to know, why I couldn't help her and she choose you to end it all. I don't want to know about God's will. My sister is pure and good of heart. She . . . Is my angel and you are no better so why is she lying in a bed dying and you are fucking here answer me. Yeah bad things happened to her, I read the letter, but she is not evil. It's so unfair." Joey fell to his knees in front of Seto. "So unfair."
This time he clawed at his eyes, trying to make the picture go away, but it wouldn't. Mokuba joined him on the floor and pulled Joey's hands away from his face. He kissed them and cried with his friend. "Joey I'm so sorry. I never wanted your hate. I can't tell you what you desire. It's for your sister to speak. I can't betray her."
Mokuba kissed Joey's cheek; it was so very warm and his entire face felt feverish. He brushed his cheek with his small hands as if to comfort him and glazed into his eyes. "Joey, you still don't understand."
Mokuba smiled and stood up taking Joey's hand and he placed it in Seto's; almost binding them together. "Please just listen, both of you." Mokuba pointed to the big bear chair and Seto walked over to it along with a reluctant blond boy. Mokuba waited for them to sit and Joey actually leaned back against the back of the chair where the barest of skin touched Seto's arm. 'I can't stand to be close to him but I need him to touch me and I need to be touched my him.' Joey quivered inside. His emotions were spent.
'Damn it Mokuba what are you thinking, his hand is so soft and his heart is so precious to me. How can I stop it from breaking?' Seto was not even conscious he had stroked Joey's neck and his fingers ghosted over the nape.
"Even after all this time you guys just don't understand. After a year of waiting you don't get it. I will never be separated from her. She is not dying Joey, she is alive. If it was different, Seto you might as well grieve for me too, because I don't think I can live without Serenity."
"Mokuba. . ."
"No, it's not what you think. If her eyes closed forever I would feel it in my heart, but it is life not death we share. What we did was not very smart, but it was all we had. Joey, she hasn't rested for a long time. It's just taking her a little bit longer to wake up. Every day my heart beats stronger and I know it because she is closer to me. Now I smile because I feel warmth in her touch. Serenity will wake up Joey, don't listen to some white coat, I know and love her. Joey it's not a brother or sister love; it's not a lover's love; it's not a friendship love; it just is and it is forever. One year ago you guys drove us apart because you didn't understand. Now today, you still will not listen."
Joey, moved by the words of the younger Kaiba did not know what to say. Everything was a freakin mess.
"Joey there is only one thing you can do and that is trust in us." Mokuba whispered the last words hoping he had finally reached the boy.
It was a long night in the Kaiba mansion as the sun broke through the window. Joey closed his eyes and felt the warmth brush over his skin. The phone ringing interrupted the silence and everyone looked at each other, wondering who would be calling on Seto's private line so early in the morning.
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