by PrettyGothGirl
All Disclaimers Apply
Summary: Cid contrives for Rikku and Gippal to spend some quality time together. Part Eight: Rikku takes up thinking where
Gippal left off and her thoughts aren't necessarily happy.
A/N: No one has guessed the movie yet. Sigh. Oh well. It was StarShip Troopers btw. The whole hot chocolate thing on a night watch. Anyways... yeah.
Last Time: Gippal had taken out Rikku's hair and brought her a drink on a late night watch
Rikku stared down at him and pushed her hair over her shoulder. He never did innocent very well. Besides, there was no one else around to take down her hair. It had to have been him.
She looked at the monitors. No movement and since he hadn't woken her up earlier, she assumed nothing had happened on his watch. Her hair slid forward as she reached for the mug from earlier. She grimaced and tried pushing her hair back again. This was why she wore it up. She held it in one hand and took a sip from the mug. She grimaced again. Cold. But it was better than nothing.
She looked back at Gippal. It might not be a date. It was just a night watch pseudo set up by her father. But being with him, no matter what the circumstances, was better than nothing. She sighed. At least he treated her better when they were alone.
She had to remember to keep her expectations low. Not that she thought she could keep them low for very long if he kept being sweet to her when they were alone. It wasn't fair. She shouldn't have to accept his double standard. There shouldn't have to be a need for a double standard. She sighed and took another sip of her cold drink. She shivered, missing his warmth. She didn't understand the double treatment either.
If she told anyone about it, as if she could, they'd probably tell her to dump the bastard. If she was smart. She would. He wasn't a bastard all the time. That's what made it hard. It screwed up her judgment. Rikku pressed her lips together. She'd never been smart when it came to matters of the heart. Stupid boy giving her hope whenever they were alone. She shivered again. Damn it. He was warm too. She bit her bottom lip and set her cup down. She glanced at him. If she was careful she could put his head in her lap and not wake him up.
She carefully slipped his head onto her lap, putting the mug within reach. She sighed in relief as his warmth seeped into her skin. Maybe she should wear more clothes next time she saw him. It would annoy him. She grinned. And drive him crazy if she did it right. That could be fun.
She ran her fingers through his hair, grimacing at the stiffness of the gel. He had really soft hair under it. She worked on separating the strands. It was a pity he wouldn't leave his hair alone. She sighed. Running her fingers through his hair made her feel like his mother not his lover really, which reminded her of what Pops had said.
Was Pops right though, did she treat Gippal like a child? She wasn't the one coming up with stupid little nicknames and pushing her around and tugging on her hair and lying. What was she supposed to do in response to that? She as sure as hell didn't enjoy the snickers and amused looks on her friend's faces whenever they were around the two of them. She didn't enjoy Gippal not calling her by name. She had complained about it more than once to him. He just didn't seem to listen. He called her by her name when they were alone. If he bothered to call her anything, it's not like names came up often in conversation after all. He went out of his way to call her Cid's girl in public.
She didn't need to be reminded that Pops thought of her as his little girl. She viciously squashed that thought.
So, okay, she retaliated in kind whenever he did shit like that. He brought out theworst in her. He made her want to throw little tantrums. He made her want to squeeze his neck and then irrationally kiss him soundly just for paying somewhat attention to her.
Besides, he started it.
Rikku sighed again. She was whining in her head. Gippal wasn't even awake and she was sounding like a three year old with a bad case of the 'gimmes.' How did he do that? She leaned over and looked into his face. It made no sense. How did he take what little maturity she had, because she had to have some by this point, and make her toss it out the window without even actually doing anything?
She traced his lips with the tip of her finger. Weird.
Rikku sat back up and looked at the monitors. Doing this whole stakeout thing at night was dumb anyways. It wasn't like their target was going to move after a certain time. Stupid day jobs. Maybe Gippal should put some of his people on it. They could watch by day and report to him. What was the point of having resources called employees if you didn't use them?
Her fingers drifted down his chin and up his jaw to run along the edge of his ear.
Back to the problem in her lap, Gippal was closer than some excuse of a target for her father to get them to spend time together. So what was she supposed to do? If she kissed him when he did this, it was like rewarding bad behavior. She didn't want to reward bad behavior. She wanted to punish it so he would get the hint and never do it again.
Well, not never, fighting with Gippal was fun every once in a while and if it was done right. The childlike silliness was part of what she loved about their relationship. Why had the teasing become so hurtful all of a sudden? It was personal and painful. She bit her lip. It used to be playful and light. It made her happy. She'd enjoyed it, looked forward to it. Now, every time they met around their friends she felt uneasy and on edge and halfway angry before he opened his mouth.
She closed her eyes to hold back the tears. But why? Why did it hurt? Why did he do it?
If she knew why, maybe she wouldn't feel so upset. She stopped touching him and shook her head rapidly. She opened her eyes and looked at the monitors, resting back on her hands.
"Mmmm, why'd you stop?"
She looked down and hoped Gippal hadn't seen her agonized faces. "You're supposed to be asleep."
"You were petting me." He wiggled in her lap a bit. "It felt nice."
She sighed. Maybe men were just beyond understanding. "Go back to sleep."
His eye opened. "Pet me more."
"You're not a dog."
"But I like it."
Great, now he was whining, aloud. She rolled her eyes. "So." She reached for her mug and took the last gulp from it and grimaced.
"Please?" He jutted his bottom lip out. She'd forgotten how much of a child he was when he first woke up.
"You don't pet me." She pointed out as she set the mug back down. She'd admit she was just being stubborn and not doing what he wanted if asked. He didn't do what she wanted. Why should she do what he wanted? Okay, it was that childish thing again.
"I would if you would let me." His eyebrow rose.
"I do-"
"Not."
"You had ample opportunity to pet me earlier." She shook her head and her hair tumbled from behind her back to in front of her shoulders. She tossed it back. "And you chose to take my hair out."
"That's a form of petting, but you don't let me touch you more than you have to, more than the current role calls for."
"Role?"
"When we're out, pretending."
She shoved him off her lap and moved away. "Since when were we pretending?" She growled. Trying to use anger to cover her hurt, was this why he treated her different in public, because he was pretending to like her. She hadn't been pretending ever. She thought that he felt the same way she did. He kissed her during the escape. He'd cared back then. Was he playing a role then, heroic rescuer, knight in shining armor? Did the role call for him to kiss the girl?
Gippal sat up, his mouth opened and closed. "I- I didn't mean it like that."
"Like what?"
"That-that-" He sputtered. He couldn't seem to get past the word.
She crossed her arms and moved closer to the monitors. "Oh, don't worry. I understand." Her voice wavered a little. She understood too well. He didn't like her. He was pretending to like her so she wouldn't tell her father that he was treating her badly. Well, screw that.
He reached out and grabbed her shoulder. She rolled it out of his grip and he grabbed her again. "Rikku." He sounded distraught. He pulled her into his lap and she tried to resist and he wrapped his arms around her waist and held on tighter. "All I meant was when you and I are pretending to be other people who- who-"
"Just say it Gippal, are in love, deeply passionately in love." She spat and pushed at his hands. "It's not that hard."
"Fine, are all over each other to the point of nauseating, which has nothing to do with love or passion and everything to do with lust. You don't let me touch you outside of that. It's a struggle to even hold your hand or put my arm around your waist without you jumping out of your skin or tensing like you're going to deck me."
"I let you do that anyways. I let you kiss me. I kiss you back!" She stopped wiggling and leaned her head back so she could glare at him in the eyes.
"And while I enjoy it, it never feels totally natural. It never feels like it's you kissing me."
"I am kissing you." What did he think she felt for him?
"You don't touch me back either." He pressed his lips together. "You shirk."
Her mouth gaped. "I- I- do not shirk" Why should she want to touch him when half the time he was hurting her emotionally and the other half she was never sure exactly what he would do next, would he be sweet or want to suck her face off? Both were good but-
"So, I like being petted. It felt like you and not someone else." He lowered his eye. "I like you. I want to be kissing you, touching you without the jumpiness or the fear of being hurt."
She looked away. Why was she the one who had to make all the concessions? She inhaled and exhaled and counted to ten. She wasn't. She wasn't going to bow over and let him change whom she was. She was stronger than that. Hadn't the two journeys she made with Yuna taught her anything at all? Hold onto yourself, be yourself. Rikku needed to be Rikku. Gippal was going to have to learn to compromise and accept her for who she was, who she had become. She was a passionate person, who loved him passionately despite his faults. She accepted him, including his childishness. She just didn't like the form it had taken recently. She licked her lips. Compromise was an adult idea correct? She nodded. She'd take the highroad. She would be an adult. She met his gaze. "I'll treat you like you treat me, when you treat me that way."
"I'm not sure exactly what that means."
"It's the best you're going to get." She said.
He sighed and nodded. "All right." He bit his lip and widened his eye. "Would you pet me more?"
She smiled and slid a hand along his chest, turning a bit. "I think I can do better than that." Her hand slipped around his neck, She pulled his head down. He began to smile just before their lips met.
Forget the stakeout, this was something sweeter.
--
reviews are love, love me?!