Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the idea.

To: 1854 Konoha Dr.

From: 2365 Konoha Rd.

Dear Freak,

Well, sheesh, okay. You're not Karin. Got it.

I've crossed off about 2 more girls in the dance squad…does this school have the largest dance group in history?! REALLY? 93 girls? IT'S NOT A DANCE SQUAD! IT'S AN ARMY!

Ok, I think I'll stop writing now.

To: 2365 Konoha Rd.

From: 1854 Konoha Dr.

Dear Sasuke,

Awww…poor sasucakes. It seems like you just need to sharpen your finding skills. CLUE the board game is a great fun way to test your imagination! Maybe when were married and I'm pregnant with my 7th child and you're off to your 4th job, you'll think back and wonder, "Hm…I still don't understand why I suck so badly at playing detective."

Because you do, sah-sue-cae. It's actually kind of pathetic. Sometimes, it makes me want to give you a great big hug with that sad little emo face you have all the time. Cheer up! I would do that actually, you know…the hug… if it weren't for the fact that you'd figure out who I am!

Or….you're detective skills really could be that horrible and you still wouldn't have a clue! Hm…I'm not taking chances. Well, it's always good to have options, right? Yeah. I agree too.

Well, write back! I'm sort of bored. You know… midterm's week and all. I don't ever really study for this crap anyway. Oops, bad word. Teehee.

Lawl,

Lol.

To: 1854 Konoha Dr.

From: 2365 Konoha Rd.

Dear Don't-call-me-that,

Look, you. I'm going to give you ten good reasons why I don't suck as a detective. Are you ready now? Ok.

I'm Sasuke. That should speak for itself.

My hair is black, shiny, and spikey. Often times, I've been told it looks like a chickens buttock. Wtf.

I have very sharp cheekbones. No, not those cheeks. Pervert.

I am a sneaky thing. attitude snap

I can write cursive. Pretty cursive. Prettier than yours. OH! Take that.

I have long eyelashes. They are not feminine, they are…slightly girly. BUT MANLY!

My mom says I'm special. My mom says I'm special, biyatch.

I own a car. Oh, SNAP.

I can whistle. OH! Second snap!

You wish your boyfriend (do you have one?) was as hot as me. On a roll here. THIRD SNAP!

So you see, dear psychotic maniac, I am a very good detective. I've proven exactly why.

To: 2365 Konoha Rd.

From: 1854 Konoha Dr.

Dear Sauce-Pan-Cakes,

First of all, no, I don't have a boyfriend. DUH. Yet he still asks why his detective skills suck. Geez.

Yes, I am aware that you are, in fact, Sasuke.

I've noticed the color, shape, shine, and distinct resemblance to a chicken's ass.

Yes, sharp cheekbones indeed. I'm not the pervert, pervert.

Meow. You sneaky thang you.

Puh-lease. You only wish you could write prettier cursive than me.

Okay, so, I've noticed how girly your eye lashes are. Is that normal? Haha.

Mom's always say you're special.

SO! MY DAD OWNS A CAR! SNAP SLAP!

So can I! OH! SNAP RETURN!

My invisible boyfriend IS as hot as you! SNAP ATTACK!

Wow, I just noticed: you wrote a very long letter. Bwahahaha. Awesome! I'm rubbing off on you! Pervert.

Shameless,

Pig.

To: 1854 Konoha Dr.

From: 2365 Konoha Rd.

Dear I-am-special,

I don't study for midterms either. Way too easy. I'm guessing you're pretty smart if you don't so…that crosses out…about the whole dance squad. Gee, thanks. You're a great help.

To: 2365 Konoha Rd.

From: 1854 Konoha Dr.

Dear Saucer-cakes,

Aw! I'm always there to lend a hand! Don't worry, not many people are aware of my smartness…I'm a ninja…take that.

Oh, where did she go? The world may never know…!

Smooth,

Criminal.

To: 1854 Konoha Dr.

From: 2365 Konoha Rd.

Dear Shinobi,

Yeah, I kind of figured, genius.

Did you see Kakashi's fall today? So, -bleeping- hilarious.

Naruto is soooo screwed. I'm so proud it makes me want to cry. –man sob-

To: 2365 Konoha Rd.

From: 1854 Konoha Dr.

Dear Male Ego,

I should rip your penis off just to make you cry. At home with your sexuality much? Loosen up, tight butt.

Anyway, no! I wasn't there to witness that moment of brilliance. Darn. I heard it was super funny.

I suddenly am saddened,

By this news. –sob-

To: 1854 Konoha Dr.

From: 2365 Konoha Rd.

Dear Thank You,

Well that crosses out about 23 girls. I don't usually give thanks but…well, I still don't give thanks. So, nevermind.

To: 2365 Konoha Rd.

From: 1854 Konoha Dr.

Dear ugh,

Whatever. You still suck at detective skills, anyway.

So, ha!

Ha,

Haha!

Well, this is by far the longest chapter to date. And ooooh, Sasuke's learning. Dude, you guys are so awesome! I'm loving the response this story is getting. Thanks so much! I lovee you guysssssss…! Tune in for the next chapter! It'll be out soon! Don't worry. Hehe. Please review.

Until Next Time,

Darkothenight.