Ways to annoy jasper hale

Sign him up to be a volunteer in a blood drive

Make posters that bella is better at him at self control

Rub it to his face(metaphorically and literally)

Put blood all over his room

Film his reaction and put it on you tube

Ask he why he looks kind of constipated

Have really vivid feelings when around him

Lock him in a room where rosalie and emmett are having sex

Lock him in an emergency room

Or a maternity ward

Beg him not to eat you every minute

Go up to him randomly and say ' are you hungry?'

Ask him 'why do you look so depressed all the time?' then walkaway

Mistake him for rosalie's husband

Every time he tells you to do something answer back with 'sir, yes sir!'

Salute him all the time

Dress in military clothes and ask him if he could give you training

If he doesn't, tell him you want to be just like him when you get older

Ask him why he was maria's favourite

Call him a cowboy

Ask him if he is a cowboy

If he days he's not say ' well you lived in Texas so you must have been'

Make him babysit renesmee's human friends when she goes to kindergarten

Don't tell jasper that you're doing blood typing in biology

Let him go and pretend you didn't know too

If he suspects you and get angry, threaten him with a pointy stake

When he tells you it doesn't work on him shout 'sorry, I forgot these don't work on vammpires'

Then tell him not to eat you really loud

When he calls you by your first name say 'sir, where is yor politeness, I prefer to be called miss or ma'am

Give him a military style hair cut

With a matching out fit

If alice complains, tell her it was all jasper's idea because he missed the army

Ask him where babies come from

Stare at him until he tells you the answer

When he doesn't, tell esme that jasper's being mean to you

Take cooking lessons and tell him you're gonna cook a special dish for him

Give him the food ask him to try it if it's good

If he doesn't eat it, have a fit and tell him that you've worked so hard to make it

If he does eat it, make him describe the flavour in full detail

Then tell him you didn't really cook it and walk away

Smack him with a steel chair

Then yell at him for no reason

If he asks you why you did that, tell him that a spirit possessed you

If he doesn't believe you argue that he wasn't hurt and say 'I wont do it again'

Then smack him with a steel table then run for your life

Poke him in the eye and ask him if it hurts

If he tells you it doesn't say 'stop being brave, you know it hurt!'

If he still denies it call him a big skinny liar

Ask him if he prefers hale or cullen and make him explain

After he's explained it, tell him 'that was really boring dude'