Hey pips!sorry i haven't updated this for quite a while but here you go:)
Ways to annoy Charlie Swan
Tell him that Edward's been sleeping in Bella's room for at least 2 years.
Then tell him that Edward's been spying on Bella while she's sleeping before they had a relationship
When Charlie's about to explode, invite Edward in
Then make him stay close to Bella all the time
Then invite Emmett in and let him tell Charlie sex related jokes
Tell him that he's not a very good cop
If he asks why, tell him 'if you're a good cop, you should have known Edward's been in Bella's room every night for 2 years'
When he starts to walk towards his gun, beat him to it and hide it
When he gets really annoyed tell him that you'd tell him where it is if he allows Bella to have her motorbike back
When he agrees tell him that Jacob gave Bella her motorbike back a long time ago
When Charlie goes off to nag at Jacob, tell him that Billy had a heart attack
When he arrives at the black's and sees Billy okay and well, tell him that it was all just a dream
Ask him why Reneé left him
Then tell him 'is it because you're gay?'
Then make him admit he's gay
Record him saying it and make it everyone's ring tone
Then phone all of the people who has the ring tone at the same time while Charlie's around
Do it really frequently
Put posters up saying 'harry Clearwater's fresh fishes STOLEN!'
Then ask him if he stole them
Put the fishes in his fridge and make the police search his house
When the police finds the fishes, make them arrest him
Then say 'what kind of chief of police are you?'
Make tsk tsk noises
Ask him how he felt when he gave Bella a sex talk
Then when he doesn't answer, tell everyone that he gave Bella a sex talk
When he tries and stops you, ask him again and keep on asking him until he answers you
When he does, don't believe him and accuse him that he liked the sex talk
When he gets really annoyed, tell him that you were possessed
When he doesn't believe you, which probably happen, tell him that Billy dared you to do it