Ash to Ash,

Dust to Dust

Fade to Black

KEN:

"Kenny it's not what you think!" Kyle said trying to convince me. "Then what the hell is it Kyle? Huh?" I said to him, holding back tears. "It's…" I stopped Kyle short, stabbing him with a knife.

He pulled it out and said, "See you in hell, asshole!" and stabbed me. "I'm immortal, Kyle." And pulled out the knife and stabbed God, then I got shot in the head by Cartman.

CARTMAN:

Now with Kenny, Kyle AND God out of the picture, I can rule this shithole. "Not so fast fatass!" said a voice from behind me.

"Stanley, how nice for you to join us" I said, kicking Kyle's body out of the way so he (Stan) could sit down. "How have you been, Stan?" I asked him in a causal tone. "Don't talk fuck bag. I am here to kill you!" Stan said, pulling out a gun. "Oh, I am so scared!" I said sarcastically, "I die you die, too." pulling out my own gun.

We sat there for a while.

"You want to know everything, Stan?" I asked, "You want to know why your parents died? Put away your gun and I will tell you everything." "Alright, fatass." And he dropped his gun.

"It was all me, Stan" I started, "I arranged your parents' and your friends' deaths all by myself. No one ever guessed. I fooled God, Stan. I fucking fooled God. And if you don't think that is enough, I killed him, too! I am the new God! You wanna know how I arranged all these deaths? Well it was simpler than you might think Stan Marsh. All I had to do was arrange a beating of all your friends and your parents. Then I could send in assassins to finish the job, because mercy killing is legal! If I lived and they connected it to me, I would only be nabbed for 5 counts of assault! I was in the clear. But I had to arrange my own death to make sure my plan didn't fall though. By the way, your parents and friends begged for death."

"You fucker!" Stan said to me.

"It was a simple plan, Stan"

"I am going to kill you!" said Stan reaching for his gun.

I was too quick for him,

I shot him in the chest.

"F-fucker, Cartman." said Stan, dieing. "Go to Hell, Stan, and stay there for the rest of your fucked up life!" I said to him. "Your coming with me, bitch!" Stan said shooting me.

"Damn you Stan!!!" I said to him.

"Well I'm breaking all the rules. Since I'm going to Hell!" said Stan.

KYLE:

Why? I kissed God to get me and Kenny out of Hell so we could always be together. But Kenny just killed me. Why doesn't Kenny love me anymore? It just doesn't make sense! I got to go find him!

So I went though the entirety of Hell and found him on the side of Lake O' Lava.

"Kenny?" I ask him. "What do you want?" Kenny asked. "I love you, Kenny." I said to him. Kenny seemed surprised. "No you don't!" Kenny said, "You hate me. You used me to get to God!"

"I did that so we could get the hell outta Hell!" I said to him

"I do love you, Kenny" I said to him.

Kenny got up and looked at me.

"Why?" He asked me.

"I don't know. I just know I love you more than anyone else." I said to him.

"I…I-I love you, too, Kyle" Kenny said and my heart soared into the stratosphere.

Next thing I knew his lips were on mine.