July

"Let's get married."

Pam looked up suddenly from the chair she had been relaxing in on the back patio of the condo. It was a warm Friday evening and Ryan was able to slip out of work early. The two had spent the last couple of hours out back having ice tea and enjoying the peace. Every once in awhile Ryan would spray bug spray around Pam so she wouldn't get bit as she sat back reading the rest of her book and gently rubbing her stomach.

Her due date had all ready past. It had been a total of five days now and Pam was slowly beginning to feel uneasy. Ryan's birthday had past in which Michael decided to buy one of those big cardboard fake cakes and have himself jump out of it when Ryan came close. Coming home that day Ryan cracked open a beer and looked at Pam before shaking his head.

"I almost had a heart attack."

Pam held back giggles as she listened to him. Believe or not she missed some of the outbursts work had.

"Aren't those supposed to be the cakes strippers come out of?"

Ryan looked as though his lost color at her question and rolled his eyes. There Pam cracked up laughing before having a very romantic dinner with him. It seemed so strange now that any second now their baby would come. It seemed just like yesterday that Pam was reading the pregnancy tests at her bathroom sink in disbelief.

Pam broke out of her trance before looking up at him puzzled.

"What?"

Ryan stood in front of her, his T-shirt sleeves rolled up. A grin appeared on his face as the sun behind him slowly began to set and change color in the sky.

"Let's get married…tonight."

Pam smiled before closing her book, the baby shifted in yet another uncomfortable position.

"What?"

Ryan kneeled down beside her still smiling.

"Let's do it…right now, we'll get married before the baby comes."

"I thought you said you wanted to wait…I mean a few years at least after the baby…"

"I know…but…don't you want us to be married before the baby comes? I mean come on…I know you want to."

Pam smiled feeling very overwhelmed.

"Ryan the baby isn't going to be a bastard."

Ryan laughed with her before gripping her hand.

"Come on…marry me Pam."

Pam sat there feeling extremely uneasy before a terrible cramp filled her.

"Ah!"

Pam's eyes snapped shut before Ryan jumped back a bit, his eyes full of concern.

"Are you okay?!"

Pam took a second before shaking her head, the cramp slowly past.

"Yeah…fine…baby just moved in a weird place."

Ryan's hands were right away on her stomach.

"You sure it wasn't labor pains?"

Pam shook her head thinking of how uncomfortable she had been feeling lately. She had gained as much weight as she possibly could and felt as though she would burst at any moment. The baby was now kicking so much now it began to hurt, and her legs ached during the night. Just a few days ago Ryan took her to the doctors in which they were informed that the baby would most likely come by the end of the week. The last couple of nights Pam laid awake thinking of giving birth and feeling terrified.

Just yesterday she had spent half of the morning with her mother. The two had overlooked the nursery before Pam's mother suspired her with yet another outfit for the baby in which she brought wrapped. Sitting together on the sofa, Pam expressed how worried she had been lately and how everything seemed to be moving so fast.

Pam's mother smiled before telling her that was perfectly normal. Every woman feels that way before having their first baby. Feeling somewhat relived her mother seemed to make her nearly choke on her tea when she informed her that in order to induce labor contractions, usually sex works best. That night as unsexy as Pam felt, she strolled over to Ryan as he checked sports scores on his laptop while petting Rusty, their dog.

Rusty was a mixed breed that Ryan had owned the last couple of years. He was an old dog that barley barked or even showed much energy. Strolling over, Pam tickled Ryan's arm before he looked up and smiled.

"Hey…you hungry?"

Pam shook her head.

"I think I have something else on my mind…"

Ryan nervously smiled up at her, his eyes completely confused.

That night Pam laid beside Ryan embarrassed. For the last hour the two of them had unsuccessfully tried to have sex. Each position they tried failed and finally the two had given up as Ryan laid beside her exhausted and out of breath. Pam then out of nowhere burst into tears. Ryan looked over, worried.

"Pam what is it?"

"I'm so fat and ugly! You can't even make love to me!"

Ryan's arms then quickly went around her as he held her close.

"Shhhh, don't say that, you're beautiful."

"No I'm not I'm huge!"

"You're pregnant Pam…it's okay."

Pam and Ryan's sex life really hadn't been going on that long. It took nearly the end of the winter and right before the two moved in together before they finally slept together. At first Pam couldn't believe it. After years with Roy who had always been so selfish in bed, she had finally been woken up to a whole knew different side with Ryan. For a brief amount of time right after the two became engaged, Pam couldn't seem to get enough and left Ryan drained and exhausted for the next morning. But as the months grew on, Pam felt less and less like it. There was still plenty of romance in their relationship, and they seemed to do almost everything else, but sex really wasn't in the cards as of right now. Pam was very attracted to Ryan, and knew now how much she loved him and wanted to make things work. But times like this when her emotions got a hold of her, she felt almost out of control.

Ryan then softly began to kiss her and moments later Pam couldn't believe it.

They were doing it. Closing her eyes she remembered Halloween and for a brief moment she thought of Jim.

Yet…still, she didn't go into labor the next day, or the day after that.

Now it just seemed like a waiting game.

How much were their life's going to change?

Pam finally came back to reality as Ryan still stared at her, his eyes serious. Pam smiled waving her hand before getting up.

"It was nothing really…"

Pam began to walk back into the condo as Ryan followed her, still not convinced.

"You sure? You're back hurt?"

"No…just need to lay on the sofa for a bit…"

Getting to the living room Pam slowly lowered herself into the sofa and felt sudden relief as her back relaxed. Sighing, Pam titled her head back before looking over at Ryan who nervously stood in the doorway.

"Turn on the AC for me hon?"

Ryan walked over clicking it on before looking at her again.

"What?"

"You don't wanna marry me don't you?"

Pam sat up, a strange tossing feeling went through her as though somebody had splashed cold water on her.

"What?"

"You don't do you?"

Pam sighed.

"Ryan of course I do…I'm just tired and cranky…I'm sorry."

Ryan watched her for a moment before his cell phone rang. Reaching into his pocket Ryan flipped it open, almost annoyed.

"Hello?"

There was silence for a moment before Ryan nodded.

"Michael I'm home with Pam…I know…no that's okay…all right I'll be right there. No she didn't have the baby yet…yep, okay bye."

Flipping it close Ryan leaned against the doorway rolling his eyes.

"Michael?"

"Yeah, he needs a file dropped off at the office…Dwight is re-doing the system."

"Can't that wait?"

"Well I guess not for Michael…listen I need to pop out for about a half an hour…you okay?"

Pam nodded before Ryan went to leave.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

"Come here."

Ryan slowly walked over before Pam reached up, slightly tugging him on the shirt down towards her. Looking him in the eye she smiled.

"I do wanna marry you."

Smiling, Ryan leaned down and kissed her before saying goodbye. A few minutes later Pam heard the door shut and then she was alone. Sitting on the sofa Pam shifted her weight before sighing.

Did she really?

Looking at her engagement ring she felt very lonely, looking around the living room she decided to get up and put on a pot of tea.

Getting herself up, that's when the pain happened again.