"They can't do this can they?"

Pam said as tears gushed from her eyes. She was back in Scranton and sat in her parents' kitchen with her mother, father, and Jim. Her eyes were puffy as she clutched onto her mug of tea. Her parents exchanged a look before her mother reached over and gently squeezed her hand.

"Pam, the judge said he might come to an agreement within the year of visitation rights. Until then we don't want to make things any worse."

It had been nearly six months since Pam shuffled out into the living room of the apartment to find Ryan and his mother sitting with the lawyer. Six months since everything finally shattered and all of this lying and sneaking around caught up with her. These past six months had been complete hell.

"But she's my daughter!"

"I know Pam, but the judge picked the primary parent."

"Primary parent! I'm so sick of hearing that! He was the one who was always working! I was the one stuck in that apartment watching and taking care of her! He was the one snorting coke every night and not coming home until one in the morning!"

"Pam, they drug tested him for the course of the trial…he was clean."

Pam put her hands to her face and deeply sighed. This was a nightmare she couldn't wake up from.

The trial had been horrible, Pam never felt so embarrassed before in her entire life. So many things had been brought up, and sitting there feeling so small and alone and kept looking across at Ryan, neatly dressed in one of his suits and his eyes fixed directly ahead. His mother smartly dressed in a pantsuit, her face ice cold as she whispered things to her lawyer.

Pam's parents had hired a fine lawyer, but it seemed as though everything was turned against her. Gladys, Ginger's own nanny and their housekeeper even turned against Pam. She knew more then likely Ryan's mother had paid her off. Gladys stood before the court and informed the judge that she very well knew about Mrs. Howard's affair and how many of times she made Gladys take the baby out whenever she was expecting this boyfriend to come over.

Jim sat in the background, not saying a word. He had been there for support since day one. In fact after she called her parents completely sobbing, he was the next one she turned towards. She remembered him holding her and promising that Ryan wouldn't take Ginger away.

Tapes were then brought in, Nanny cams that Ryan had bought and placed in the apartment. On several of these tapes it showed Pam welcoming Jim into the apartment before they began undressing like madmen. Once they even made love in the same room as Ginger who was playing in her pen. The judge looked disgusted as Pam sank down in her seat. She couldn't even look at her parents.

The next were the copies of the emails. The laptop was under Ryan's account so he had every night to search the messages. Here the judge saw the emails between Jim and Pam and how Pam often commented on how unhappy she was being stuck as a mother in this big city.

Pam's lawyer tried his hardest, but in the end it seemed useless. Ryan was drug tested and he came out clean. He even told the judge that he was planning on working at home full time now and being there for his daughter. In the end the judge granted Ryan full custody and informed Pam that within the year he would call Ryan back and ask him what his plans were if there was any on letting Pam have visitation rights. The second it was over Pam sat there speechless. This couldn't be happening.

Pam sat there, her gray eyes big and filled with tears.

How did this happen?

She watched as Ryan and his mother left. Right before going out the doors his eyes caught hers and quickly looked away. The judge told Pam that she was allowed to call Ginger whenever she pleased, and write…but until he met with Ryan again she would not be allowed to see her.

Pam left the courtroom feeling as though she was in a daze. Jim held her tightly as she stood there, her legs numb. She wasn't an addict, she wasn't a bad mother, she loved Ginger…why? Why did Ryan do this?

Now here she was, back home and falling apart. Lowering her head Pam began to cry.

At that exact moment Ryan sat in his apartment with Ginger sitting across from him on the carpet. She had a stuffed pony and was dragging it by the tail.

"Dada look! Look!"

Ryan smiled before his mother crossed the room, fixing her purse over her shoulder and heading towards the door. She had made it perfectly clean after she helped she would be going back home. Sighing, he watched her.

"Bye mom, thanks again."

Ryan's mother turned and stared at him.

"Take care of you're daughter Ryan…she's all you have."

And with that she left. Sitting there alone, Ryan looked back over at his beautiful daughter and couldn't believe how big she was getting. In a few months she would be three. Just then rain began to pour over the city. Ryan sat there, thinking of all those hits he had taken in the past and how they had all made the pain go away. Looking at his wedding band he knew it was stupid to still wear it. Between everything going on it finally dawned on him that the divorce files were just being sent out. Smiling at his daughter, he opened his arms as she went over to him, laying her tiny head on his chest. Kissing the top of it, Ryan rubbed her back and couldn't believe it.

Pam and him were really over.

Back at Scranton Pam sat on her bed in her old bedroom. It was raining out and she felt awful. Sitting there, Pam stared at her wedding band. It really belonged to Ryan and she might as well just send it back to him. Shaking her head she felt so alone. She had lost everything…most of all Ginger.

Just then there was a soft knock on her door.

"Come in."

Her cracked and tear filled voice said. That's when Jim appeared, hands in his pockets.

"Hey…"

Pam tried to smile but couldn't.

"Hey."

"Can I come in?"

"Sure, shut the door behind you."

Jim walked in before sitting beside her. Taking her hand he held it and then wiped one of her tears away.

"How are you doing?"

"Horrible."

Pam dryly laughed before shaking her head.

"I still can't believe he took her…really shows what kind of screw up I am."

"Pam your not a screw up."

"Yeah? Well the courts think that? That's when they took her away from me."

"Pam…"

"What kind of mother looses her own daughter?"

Pam lowered her head and struggled with her tears.

"I shouldn't of done all those things…I shouldn't of lied…"

"You were unhappy Pam."

"I know, but why did I hide it? Why did I keep pretending? I have a million excused but none of them are good enough. Ryan treated me good…he loved me."

"Pam he changed, you said it yourself. The second he got that job…"

"He loved me…and I loved him, but I just couldn't believe this was it. This was my life. I was married and I was a mother. He tried giving me so many chances but I couldn't take them. I had to go fuck everything up…"

"Pam he's the bastard. You weren't in love with him anymore and he hurt you in the only way you could be hurt. He didn't deserve you."

Pam sat there, looking at her wedding band.

"Yeah…or maybe I didn't deserve him."