"Dunder Mifflin this is Pam."

Pam listened to the message before eying Jim across the way at his desk. It had been a couple of months now and she was back to her old boring life she so desperately wanted to get back to when she was living in New York. Jim looked up for a second and tried to cheer her up with a smile. Instead Pam looked down and thanked the caller before hanging up.

She returned to work nearly a month after she moved back with her parents. Jim told her Michael wanted to offer her the old job back and Pam felt completely horrified. She was sure the gossip had all ready spread through the entire office. The bitter custody battle, the divorce, the affair…everything. Instead Jim reassured her that nobody knew that much, only that Ryan and her were separated and that he was currently had the baby in the city. Pam felt beyond embarrassed yet knew she needed a job. Returning back it dawned on her Jim's support was nothing like Ryan's, even down to them holding hands. Michael of course welcomed her with a big over the top hug and told her not to sad, Ryan was the hottest in the office and it didn't surprise him he would dump her.

"Michael please."

Jim said as Pam, her cheeks burning red nodded and went to her old desk. Somehow everything came back to her and as she sat down she saw a million eyes looking at her. Through the day she slowly got back into the swing of things and thought she would kept herself busy. Whenever she was home she thought about it to much and went on crying fits. Sitting there, almost everyone came up to her during the day. Almost everyone, even Toby and Kelly had the same thing to say.

"Ryan was a jerk. He changed ever since he got the promotion. He didn't deserve you Pam…I'm glad you're back."

Meredith then asked about Ginger. Pam felt her heart leap and she deeply sighed.

"We're sharing custody, he has her right now."

"That's horrible, you must miss her so much!"

Pam looked back at her computer, trying to control herself through this lie.

"Well I get to talk to her on the phone every night and we're trying to decide something. I mean the daycares and schools are so much better there…"

Meredith looked at Pam closely and then nodded.

"Oh…"

She got the hint.

At lunch Pam sat close to Jim, as Dwight strolled over to the vending machine he eyed them.

"So are you two together now?"

Jim looked up as he ate his lunch.

"Not appropriate Dwight."

Dwight shot them a dirty look before leaving. That's when Michael came in, talking a mile a minute about new ideas he had for the company.

Shortly after when Pam was using the rest room Kelly came over as she washed her hands.

"How are you doing?"

Pam looked over, a little caught off guard.

"I'm fine."

"I am so sorry about what happened. That sucks so bad. Don't worry…he broke my heart to."

Pam feeling as though she was going to die quickly slipped back to her desk and answered calls. Sitting there she eyed the framed photograph she had brought with her of Ginger. Sighing, she gently touched it and wanted more then anything to see her. Sitting here, she knew that within time the same old habits would come back. She would sit here day after day and dream of something big. She knew within time Jim would ask about their relationship and Pam would be unsure. Somehow she felt so guilty about what happened. This was the affair after all that took her daughter away. She knew she would sketch her drawings, knowing that back in New York Ryan was more then willing to pay for art school. She knew any dreams she had were gone. She would dress in her sweaters, sit at her desk, watch Jim and Dwight tease each other as Michael made a complete fool of himself in front of everyone. And this was her life, answering phones and living in this small boring town.

So time past, very slowly.

Ginger was about to turn three.

Ryan had slowly began getting his life back together. He had been working from home and had tried his hardest to stay away from all the drama. He knew everyone had been talking. Instead he tried to get healthy and stay away from it all…most of all the nightlife. He hired a new nanny who could watch Ginger whenever he was out. A nice young woman who seemed really good with Ginger. She had once worked as a teacher and was slowly trying to teach Ginger her numbers.

"The earlier they lean the better."

She said.

She came in usually in the mornings whenever Ryan took a jog around Central Park. She also came twice a week in the afternoons whenever Ryan had a meeting. The whole website thing was going down the tubes, but Ryan was working on a new project and knew within time if he kept clean maybe he could hold onto this career. He had been temped, most of all at night whenever he laid there alone thinking about it. But he kept remembering Ginger. He would die before he let Pam have her.

He tried to keep focusing on his daughter.

He also sometimes went to meetings, he had been only to a couple for addicts and it didn't seem right. But just sitting there listening to other people's problems made him feel not so alone. He loved the city and wanted to raise his daughter here. He would fight everything to give her to life he never had. So he worked twice as hard and spent any free time with her.

She had developed a pretty funny personality and attitude. She had gone through her terrible twos had a really bad time. Ryan knew it must have been hard for her with Pam suddenly gone and two different nannies switching. Even though she was always attached to Ryan, she did go on crying fits for the first few months, screaming at the top of her lungs for her mother. Ryan knew within time once they worked something out this would pass. Sitting on the kitchen floor with her, newspapers covering most of it, Ginger was finger-painting with him. Using her entire hand, Ginger pressed down on the white extra printing paper he had laid down for her and made the four different colors turn gray as she mixed them. Laughing she smeared it and began making shapes. Ryan, dressed in jeans and a messy T-shirt laid there helping her paint. In another week he would start looking at preschools, even though he wanted to wait until she was four.

"Dada look! A dog!"

Ryan leaned over and saw a big gray blob that looked more like a circle with sticks on the bottom of it. Smiling Ryan held up the baby.

"Wow…this is really good!"

Just then the phone rang.

Ryan got up, quickly putting one of his paint covered hands under the sink and wiping it against the pant leg of his jeans. Picking his cell up he flipped it open.

"Hello?"

There was no response on the other line for a moment before he heard her voice.

"Hello Ryan?"

Ryan wanted to snap his cell phone close and ignore her. Instead he took a deep breath.

"What?"

"I know the judge assigned when I can start calling, but I was scared you might take her someplace for her birthday next week and I wouldn't get a chance to talk with her."

Ryan felt very annoyed. This was the first time he had really spoken to her in months.

"The judge said you could call on her birthday Pam."

There was a pause for a second.

"I know…it's just…I…need to hear her voice, please Ryan."

Ryan wanted to call her every name in the book just then. Feeling his blood pressure rise he looked down at Ginger who was still painting.

"I don't want to confuse her Pam."

"Please Ryan, just for a second."

Ryan let out a deep breath before shaking his head.

"Fine, but just for a second."

Before she could say anything he put his cell down to his side and switched it to speaker. Kneeling down he went over to Ginger who kept painting.

"Ginger? Hey Ginger."

Ginger looked up, her big blue eyes sparking.

"What?"

"It's mommy, she wants to say hello."

"Mommy?"

"Yeah say hello."

He held the phone to her. Ginger stared at the cell phone for a second.

"Hello mommy?"

Pam sounded as though she was laughing or crying on the other end.

"Hello baby! I miss you!"

"I miss you too mommy, when are you coming home?"

"I don't know honey, but I'm going to see you real soon okay?"

"Mommy…dada and me are painting, I made a doggy for you."

"You did! Oh what's wonderful!"

"My birthday is next week, you going to get me a toy?"

"Oh I'll get you something very special honey, something your going to love."

"I want a puppy!"

"Oh well…maybe, I have to talk to your daddy before we do that."

"Dada is going to throw me a party and we're going to have cake. Are you coming mommy?"

"Well…I don't know honey, we'll see."

"Dada is going to take me to the park later…you come?"

"Maybe honey, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you."

"I love you too mommy…"

Ginger, who seemed more interested in her paints went back to it. Ryan sighed before standing up and switching the cell back.

"You finished?"

"Yeah…I just wanted to ask…"

Before she could say another word Ryan hung up on her. Looking at his cell Ryan shook his head and put it back on the kitchen table.

A week later Ginger turned three. Most of Ryan's friends from the city were single, but a few of them from the company were married and had kids Ginger's age. Ryan threw a small party in the apartment and had a puppy theme for Ginger who was dressed in a cute little brown and white tutu with paw prints on it. Ryan had learned from Ginger's nanny how to make pig tails and that's how Ginger wore her hair. She ran around the apartment full of energy with the rest of the little kids, laughing and zipping around. At least ten people were there in total, most of them adults. David Wallace was even one of them. The adults stayed in the kitchen or living room, watching the little ones and laughing as they ran around with the noise makers.

"How are you holding up pal?"

David asked. Ryan knew he had been on thin ice with him back when he was on the drugs. Something nobody knew about but he was sure had mentioned. Since getting clean Ryan's work performance had been much better and David had even taken him out to lunch a few weeks ago. Giving him advice and telling him how sorry he was about the miscarriage and the divorce.

"That's a hell of a thing, raising a little one alone."

Ryan remembered nodding in agreement and telling David Ginger was really all he had left.

"I'm good, been happy."

"That's good. Now my wife wanted to let you know anytime you want Ginger to have a play date you just call up. Little Lucy seems to be really taken by her."

Lucy was David's daughter, only a few months older then Ginger.

Before the sunset the cake was brought out and Ryan held Ginger on his lap as they sung to her. As everyone left, Ginger's nanny stayed behind to help clean up the mess and pick up. Ginger sat in the living room, surrounded by wrapping paper and toys. Her favorite had been a stuffed dog that really barked and blinked it's eyes. Ryan promised Ginger in a couple of years he would buy her a real one. But that didn't seem to bother Ginger, she happily played with her toys, still zipped up on sugar.

Ginger's nanny, who's name was Lisa stood in the kitchen cleaning the dishes while Ryan stuffed everything in trash bags. That's when the phone rang again. Rolling his eyes he knew who it would be.

"Hello?"

"Hi…Ryan."

"She's about to go to sleep Pam, she's had a long day."

"I know…but can I talk to her for a second."

Ryan sighed.

"Fine, hold on…make it quick."

He handed Ginger the cell and Ginger talked for a new minutes. Going on and on about the puppy party and how much cake she had had. Pam asked if she got her gift…which had been two big things. One was a tiny set of plastic dogs that had their own houses and fake food, the other was at least three different dresses. Ginger said yes, but she liked the toys better. Pam laughed and they talked a little bit longer before Ryan took the phone.

"She needs to get to bed."

"Okay…thanks Ryan. It meant a lot."

"We have a court learning in another month back here, I'm sure you won't forget."

"I won't…and Ryan."

He snapped the cell phone closed, he hoped this was the last time he would have to talk to the bitch before the next hearing.

Putting Ginger to bed and stacking up all her new toys and gifts, Ryan felt exhausted and thanked Lisa before she left. Relaxing on the couch Ryan couldn't believe it.

He still had on his wedding band.

Sighing, he slipped it off his finger, dryly laughing at how used to it he had became. Tossing it across the room he flicked on the TV and tried to doze off.

At that exact moment, Pam sat at her parents kitchen table with the phone in front of her. Jim sat beside her having coffee. Pam snuffled in and wiped her eyes quickly. She never thought this was where she would be on her daughter's third birthday. Jim slowly put his arm around her and brought her in close before kissing her cheek.

Pam sat there, hating herself and hating Ryan.