Present
"You're being wicked unfair!"
A seventeen year old Ginger said with her hands on her hips. Ryan sat in his office in their Tudor style house in Ithaca New York. Slowly the first signs of gray were showing up in his once dark almost black hair. Sitting there at his desk he listened to his teenage daughter pout.
Ginger was seventeen now, a junior in high school and almost like every other typical teenager her age. Her hair a beautiful dark red was tightly pulled back in a ponytail with blond highlights going through it. She wore a black tank top and pink shorts, which for Ryan's taste were a bit too high for his liking.
"Everyone else is getting a car!"
Ryan couldn't help but laugh, his reading glasses on his checked his computer before shaking his head.
"Oh is that so?"
David Wallace just sent him the new reports to look over. Dunder Mifflin was now no more. The company had shut down nearly ten years ago. The ones that were capable ended up branching off and started an on line office supplies stock company, the brain child of both Wallace and Ryan himself. The company was now making great money and Ryan enjoyed the fact he could work from home and live a peaceful and somewhat happy life.
"Yeah! Kim's parents bought her a brand new jeep!"
"Well good for Kim."
Ginger huffed as Ryan smiled, his eyes still on the computer screen. Somehow he had gotten used to dealing with the many emotional ups and downs of raising a teenage daughter. The past couple of years had gone smoothly, much better then when Ginger was a toddler. It was tough living in the city and raising the baby practically by himself. He really had no family to depend on and his coke habit and made him relapse twice. Getting help, Ryan knew if he really did mess up there wouldn't be anyone going to court this time, he would loose Ginger and that would be it. Getting clean he tried to just focus everything on Ginger. He remembered how much his heart ached on her first day of preschool and how she clung to his leg screaming. He remembered how everyone on the street would gush to him about how cute he always had her dressed and how well her manners were. He remembered all those empty uninterested dates he had and how the entire time he kept thinking of Pam.
Pam married Jim when Ginger was five. Ryan didn't go to the wedding, which he knew hurt Pam but he couldn't help. He didn't think seeing those two together like that would do him any good. Pam slowly gained more custody over the years and now they had agreed to a regular visitation structure. Ryan and Pam's coldness slowly started melting away the more years that past and they watched Ginger grow. Ryan had full custody but Pam came into the city every weekend to see her. They shared holidays and now it became a regular thing. Whenever Jim came up with her Ryan made sure he was hardly seen. Just seeing him made him blood boil.
It was award at first, but the tension slowly went down. They weren't friends, just parents to their daughter. Ryan and Pam called twice a week and just talked about Ginger. Either about her friends, school, or just what was going on in their dull life's.
Pam tried art school and failed. She came back to Dunder Mifflin with her tail between her legs and admitted to Ryan one night over the phone that she knew she really didn't have the talent. Ryan told her it was stupid and that maybe that path wasn't what was right for her. Whenever Jim was brought up Ryan always changed the subject. He knew this hurt Pam, most of all after they became engaged but Ryan couldn't care less.
Time past and they saw each other every weekend for Ginger and spoke on the phone. Their life's were dull and they never went into any further detail then they were supposed to.
Ginger got along great with Pam. The two loved seeing each other and now every summer Ryan let her spend an entire month with Pam back in Scranton. Pam was really a good mother and always tried to make up for her past mistakes. Ginger and her got along perfect and almost every time Pam visited Ginger came back with five or six shopping bags. The only thing he couldn't stand was Jim. He hated knowing his daughter was staying there with him in his house. She hated that Ginger referred to him as her 'stepfather' that she thought he was cool and funny. Pam knew how Ryan felt about Jim and whenever there was a holiday as awkward as it was the two barley ever spoke. Ryan didn't care, as long as he stayed away from him he was fine. Pam knew better then to mention him, and when she asked if Jim and her could take her up to Jim's parents last year Ryan flat out told her no. He didn't care, Ginger was his daughter and he wouldn't allow that jerk to get too close with her.
"Come on dad! You promised!"
Ryan looked up.
"I promised if you make the honor roll after graduation then I'll think about it. You're too young to own a car."
"Dad!"
"What?"
"I bet mom will say yes!"
Ryan rolled his eyes.
"Your mother and I both agreed that you're too young."
Ginger threw up her hands before making a face.
"Eh! You're so unfair!"
Storming out, Ryan held back from laughing before shaking his head.
That's when the doorbell rang.
Going to the front door, Ryan opened it and was suspired to see Pam, she was neatly dressed in a blouse and dress slacks. She held her purse. Outside it was a beautiful spring day.
"Pam?"
Ryan raised an eyebrow. She just called last night and said she was coming over this Saturday.
"Can I come in?"
"Yeah sure…Ginger is upstairs…"
"Can I talk to you for a second?"
Ryan stepped back as Pam came inside. Sighing she looked at him, almost on the verge of tears.
"Jim and I split up."
Ryan couldn't believe it. The two had been married for nearly twelve years now.
"What?"
Pam nodded, keeping her voice now.
"This week we had a huge argument, he left."
"Over what?"
Pam dropped her eyes.
"You."
Ryan looked.
"What?"
"He said something was wrong with me and that I needed help. That when I was with you I was in love with him, and then when I was with him I was in love you."
Pam shook her head covering her eyes for a second.
"It's been building up a lot lately…we've been working a lot and he still hasn't forgiven me about not wanting any more children. We've been fighting a lot and I could tell he's been unhappy."
Ryan still couldn't believe what she just said.
"He just left?"
Pam nodded.
"I really had nobody else to talk to…my parents are away and I've just been so stressed out…"
Ryan stuffed his hands in his pockets. For the past seventeen years both of their life's had been turned upside down. This seemed to be the final nail in the coffin. Scuffing his feet he sighed.
"Want some coffee?"
Pam wiped her eyes that were starting to fill with tears.
"Yeah sure."
A few minuets later both sat at the kitchen table that was beside the patio doors. Pam looked out at the lush background and the lake further down the hill. Holding her coffee mug she sighed. Ryan meanwhile sat across from her not saying a word. Faintly upstairs he could hear Ginger talking on her cell phone, most likely bitching about how 'unfair' he was being to her. Finally Pam broke the silence.
"How's our girl been?"
Ryan shrugged.
"Mad."
"Why?"
"About the car thing, she's in a really bad mood."
Pam dryly laughed.
"That's because you spoil her too much Ryan, she's your little princess."
Ryan smiled.
"Well as much as it's killing me I think I need to stand my ground. Anyways that will make a really good graduation gift."
Pam smiled.
"We're supposed to go gown shopping this weekend for her junior prom…God I almost forgot."
Pam rubbed one of her temples before Ryan looked down at his coffee mug.
"You need a place to stay?"
Pam looked at him before shaking her head.
"No, Jim's with his parents…I've been trying to throw myself into work and not think about it but I just don't know what to do anymore…"
Both locked eyes and before they could say anything the loud footsteps of Ginger coming down the hall filled the house. Standing in the doorway of the kitchen her face lit up.
"Mom!"
Pam right away smiled.
"Hi honey!"
"Oh my God I didn't know you were coming over!"
Ginger ran over before wrapping her arms tightly around Pam. Ryan watched as Pam smiled, just seeing Ginger made her feel better. Standing back Ginger out her hands on her hips again, Ryan noticed she was still holding her cell phone.
"Dad is being a real jerk today!"
Ryan looked at her amused.
"Hey…"
Pam laughed.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah! I was telling him how impossible it is not having a car when you're my age…I mean I need to get around!"
"You use my car all the time Ginger."
"That's not the point dad! I need a car!"
"Tell you what…get yourself a summer job full time and then we'll talk."
Ryan teased. Ginger shot him a look before Pam laughed.
"Well honey we'll see…"
"Are we still going gown shopping! I saw one online that's so hot!"
"Of course honey."
Just then Ginger's cell rang.
"Hold on a sec!"
Leaving the kitchen Ryan and Pam laughed as Ginger started talking a mile a minute into her phone. Looking at each other they burst out laughing again.
"Man she makes me tired."
Pam smiled at Ryan.
"You know…if it wasn't for her I really don't know what I would do."
"Yeah I know what you mean."
"Seems like she's the one thing we got right in our life's."
They glanced at each other again before Pam cleared her throat.
"Anyways, love what you've done with the place…the kitchen is really beautiful."
Ryan looked around, due to his salary he had been able to move Ginger and him out of the apartment and into this house. He had searched for months on the market before finding it. He thought it was too big for the two of them but Ginger loved it. The view was beautiful, they were in a small college town, and Ginger went to the local high school and always had friends over. Ryan just liked it because it was a different pace then the city was.
"Say…why don't you spend the night. It's a long enough drive back and you have a lot on you're mind."
Pam shook her head.
"I couldn't…"
"Come on Pam, we've have dinner with Ginger and talk, you need the break. Anyways Ginger will love it."
"But I have work tomorrow."
"I think you can afford one sick day, come on it will do you good."
Pam thought about it for a second before nodding.
"Okay."
Ryan smiled.
Later that evening the three of them returned from the restaurant. The entire time Ginger went on and on about the gossip at school and how her prom date Tim was starting to get annoying. Whenever she wasn't talking she would text on her phone. Ryan and Pam sat back amused and talked a little, Ginger didn't know anything about Jim and Pam yet.
When they got home Ginger was beat, going upstairs she kissed Pam goodnight and told her how awesome it was having her over. Pam smiled sitting in the large living room drinking coffee Ryan had just made. Once Ginger was upstairs Ryan appeared with some clothes.
"It's old stuff but it should fit you, there's extra toothbrushes in the bathroom closet…you can take the guest room, it's the second door on the left once you get upstairs."
Pam looked at the fire cracking in the fireplace. Outside she heard crickets chirp. This large house had a very welcoming and warm feel towards it, nothing like the apartment in New York.
"Thanks…"
Ryan then sat beside her on the sofa, both drank their coffee and talked.
Pam spoke about how she knew more then likely things wouldn't work out with Jim. That the two of them had been unhappy for a long time and how funny it seemed…once they were finally married things didn't seem to appeal to them anymore.
Pam went on and on as Ryan listened. Finally when the grandfather clock down the hall began to chime Pam laughed looking embarrassed.
"Wow…I've been talking for hours, you of all people don't wanna hear this."
Ryan shook his head.
"No, it's all right."
Pam sighed before looking at him.
"I'm sorry Ryan."
"For what?"
"For being young and stupid…I really was in love with you, I guess I was so overwhelmed that my life was finally settled that I got scared and made a lot of mistakes."
"Did you love Jim?"
Pam sat there for a second thinking.
"I did…but I guess I screwed everything up. I should of known you were the only one who could understand me….should of known that day you chased after me when I left the clinic."
"But you were with Jim for a reason…you were unhappy."
"I was scared, that's what I was…scared and stupid."
Both sat in silence for a second before Pam looked at Ryan, her eyes filling with tears.
"I'm sorry about the baby."
"What?"
"Our baby we lost…after that happened I knew that I really was a bad person. I should of seen it."
"Pam it wasn't anyone's fault."
"I know…it's just all these years with Jim I've been pretending…I finally got what I wanted and the entire time I was unhappy, wishing I haven't broken your heart."
Ryan looked at her before sighing.
"Well, that's all in the past."
Pam nodded, wiping her eyes.
"It was for the best you raising Ginger…I would of just messed her up."
"You're a great mother Pam, don't say that."
"Yeah well…you're an even better father."
Ryan smiled before he reached his hand out across the sofa and covered hers.
"Do you remember that Halloween night?"
Pam laughed shaking her head.
"God, it's almost been twenty years."
"I remember."
"You do?"
"Well I was pretty drunk…but I remember the entire time my heart was pounding in my chest…I couldn't believe how lucky I was."
Pam smiled.
"I love you Ryan."
"I love you Pam."
"Now Ryan you need to wake up."
"What?"
Ryan raised an eyebrow.
"Wake up, please wake up."
"Pam what are you talking about?"
"Wake up Ryan, open your eyes…"
In just a flash Ryan Howard opened his big blue eyes and stared up at Pam who was seventeen years younger. She was in her pink winter coat and her beautiful red hair slightly moved in the freezing wind. Ryan blinked, his vision blurry for a second before looking up at the sparking night sky. He didn't know where he was, or what had happened, but he had seen how his life would have been seventeen years into the future in just the blink of an eye. Everything came rushing back at him at once as the cold hit him.
He was at Dunder Mifflin, Michael made him run out to catch the UPS truck. It was winter and he had slipped on some ice and hurt his head. He saw everyone from the office were surrounding, the faint sound of sires in the background.
"He might need CPR! Let me help!"
Dwight wearing earmuffs tried pushing his way past Pam before she shoved him.
"Not now Dwight!"
Ryan blinked and tasted blood, his lip was cut and his head was throbbing.
Pam…
Pam was pregnant.
Everything hadn't happened yet. The baby wasn't born yet, they hadn't gone to New York, they didn't become distant, she didn't have an affair with Jim, he wasn't hooked on drugs, and they didn't split up. The last thing he remembered was being in his late forties and sitting in his large house in upstate New York with Pam talking about her splitting up with Jim while their teenage daughter slept upstairs. He remembered after all the heartache he still loved her.
And now here he was.
Pam stared down at him, her eyes worried before she gently touched his face.
"Ryan are you okay?"
Ryan stared up at her and felt the most overwhelming feeling fill his heart. He wouldn't make the same mistakes and loose her. She was having his baby, and he was going to make sure he would never leave her again.
Ryan smiled, despite the pain.
"Yeah…I'm fine."
Just then it began snowing.