Return of the Jedi - A Parody -
AN : Do you like Spider-Man ? Well check out Spider-Man vs The Blue Scorpion – by Super Tinfoil Man.
Chapter 8 - The Judges decision. -
AN AGAIN : I glanced at my reviews the other day and read over jonny#5's review asking me why I turned Chewbacca into a chocobo. I thought to myself, " What is he talking about ? I've played Final Fantasy 1-10X but I don't remember Final Fantasy in any of the chapters. Then I came across this sentence in chapter 6 - The wookie then carted the princess and the two droids onto the ship , Ha ha ha !! It would seem that Chewie flipped them on his back and turned into a form of transportation . It made me laugh, thanks Jonny#5 .
The stolen Imperial Shuttle broke through the atmosphere and made its way down toward the forest moon of Endor.
Two Scout Troopers sat at the landing pad eating tuna and cheese sandwiches, they saw the ship fly by overhead.
" Say Matt. " One asked after taking a bite and smudging it all over the front of his white helmet.
" What Chris. "
" Wasn't that the parts and technical crew assigned to replace us? "
" I think so Chris. " Matt responded and smudged tuna all over the front of his helmet to try to taste its fishy goodness.
" Why are they landing right in the middle of the forest when the landing pad is right behind us? " He took out his binoculars , " And why are camouflaged civilians piling out of the back of it right now ? What do they need a protocol droid for ? A Wookie ? More question marks ? "
" You ask too many questions Chris. "
11 seconds later ...
Our heroes start walking towards the edge of the hill followed by Han, Leia , Luke , Chewie , C3-PO, R2-D2 and several rebel troops in camouflage. Nobody really knows who our heroes are because the main heroes are all following. They exit the story before making too much of a commotion.
seconds later ...
Han signaled for the rest of the team to stop as he and Luke crawled up towards the edge of the hill to get a better look.
" I told you dialing 1-800 COLLECT could save you a bundle on car insurance. " 3PO stated to his domed friend who whistled confusingly.
They could only see a few scouts walking around, another two or three playing TWISTER. Two scout bikes were parked nearby. Two birds made a TWEET noise !
" Do you think we could go around ? " Leia asked adjusting her WONDER BRA.
" That would take too long, could you imagine if we had to travel an extra 30 or 40 feet around that huge port-a-potty sized base ? We'd be here for days, not to mention... " Han started to point and gradually get angry.
" How about a simple no next time Han ? " Leia asked .
" I have an idea, how about we sneak right down the front of this hill directly in front of the scouts so we could possibly be discovered more quickly ? " Luke suggested. They ate the idea up and gave him the thumbs up. Finally , recognition ! It's been ten years since I had a good idea. I'm going to relish in this moment for as long as I can. Luke snapped out of it when he realized Han and Leia were already at the bottom of the hill.
They confusingly came to an edge of another hill with the same scene before them.
" Chewie and I will take care of this, you stay here. " Han pointed.
" Growl ! " Chewie protested with a Toronto Maple Leafs Jersey on suddenly.
" Not you mutt ! THEM ! " Han screamed and it echoed four times .
" Quietly, there might be more of them out there. " Luke suggested.
" Hey, it's me ! " Han smiled and took off down the hill growling loudly at Chewbacca over a smell he left on the Shuttle. Luke and Leia looked at each other and smiled. Leia looked back over the edge at Han and Chewie doing ninja rolls in the dirt. Luke continued to stare right at Leia with a goofy grin.
" Stop it. I don't like you staring at me that way. " Leia scolded him.
" Sorry Milady , " Luke gave her an evil look this time.
" O.K creepy , how about you pay attention to those two goof balls instead of staring at me, do you think you can manage that ? " She growled.
Han smirked at Chewbacca hiding behind a tree. " Hey buddy , check THIS out ! " He started to tip toe quietly behind one of the scouts . Han accidentally kicked over a cigarette butt and it made a loud THUMP noise ! The scout turned around and quickly put Han in a headlock. The scout shouted to his gang member.
" Go for help, go ! Go go ! What are you waiting for ? Go for help ! Go on ! Shoo, go on boy ! That's it ! Get on the bike , gooooood boy ! " The scout yelled as another scout quickly sped off on a floating bike.
Chewbacca did a cartwheel from behind the tree and shot the scout off of his bike in the distance. But another scout jumped on another bike that another scout was on , there were two scouts on top of each other on the same bike ? The bike was on another bike too ! What the hell !?
Han and the head-locking scout are having an old fashion fist fight, though the scout has a blaster, he forgot to take it out alright ?
Luke and Leia ran down the hill to cheer Han on when they noticed two more bikes take off into the forest. Leia noticed an unoccupied bike sitting there, unoccupied. With a Pepsi symbol on the side of it for no reason.
She jumped on the bike and started it up. " No Leia ! Wait ! "
They both took off into the forest. Han appeared , " Hey , wait ! I'm jealous ! "
The scout gave Han an elbow to the back but Han picked up the scout quickly and gave him a tombstone pile driver.
T.B.S completely cut out the bike chase scene and added a scene with low grade actors instead.
" I do hope she'll be alright . " C3-PO said but he was wearing a cheap Threepio mask and yellow pajamas with a Canadian accent.
" Bleep , bleep. " A garbage can painted with crayons responded.
" Don't worry, they will be O.K , I can sense it . Because I am a Jedi. " Ted Turner said walking out of the bushes with a Jedi robe on.
Meanwhile ...on Canadian Idol ...
" You are so ...are so...beautiful. You are so... " A singer tried, with no tone.
" That'll be enough of that shit , get the hell out of here. " The judges agreed , Tim wasn't going to Toronto for the final auditions.
Reviewing droid XX34X – ARGGG !! That be de worst chapter aye read in a long time !!
But , if ye tink dats bad , wait till next time when stuff gets badder mateys !! ARGGG !!!!
Han - I like your style XX34X .
ARRRR !!! YOU be de' pirate Solo ! I been waitin on ye fer a long time !!
Han – I never understood your model number, what factory are you from anyway ?
Don't you be askin me dat question again or I'll bake yer buttocks in me stove !!
Han – I think the viewers should know.
Don't ye say a word !!!
Han - XX34X used to work for an adult droid filming studio.
Dats it , ye not be makin it to da next chapter matey !!!!
Han – Don't worry, I always shoot first.