By the time Ryan finished, Jim sat across from him completely speechless. It was still early and Jim's roommate was upstairs sleeping. Both sat together in the living room having coffee as Ryan told him everything that was on his mind. Now the two of them sat in silence. Jim took a few seconds before rubbing the back of his neck, it was a lot.

"Wow, Ryan I…"

"You still love her don't you?"

Ryan cut off. Jim sat there looking at Ryan as if he was crazy before letting out a nervous laugh.

"What?"

"You still love her, I can tell."

"Ryan, no. I mean…I tried before, twice…and each time I was shut down. We've both moved on…Pam is in love with you. I haven't ever seen her this happy before."

"Yeah well I'm not going to be around much longer, it's the truth. I know, you know it, and all of my doctors know it. Pam just won't let go…I need to make sure her and the baby are okay."

Jim sat there for a second before looking at Ryan's thin and sickly face. Sighing, he sat back on the couch and looked down at his hands.

"I promise."

"You do?"

Jim nodded.

"Yeah…I do."

Ryan nodded, there was nothing else to say after that. Standing up, he grabbed his cane and looked down at Jim.

"Thanks Jim."

Jim looked up at him, a little confused.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why? Why me?"

Ryan thought about this for a second before looking down at him, his eyes seemed slightly bloodshot and tired. He looked weaker by the second.

"I guess because, I know if things had been different…no matter what you two would of found each other. Also I trust you Jim, I know you're someone who will make sure their okay."

Without another word Ryan left Jim's place and got into his car. Right away his head began to pound and his right eye was getting blurry. Taking a deep breath he started the engine and drove back to Pam's place. On the drive back Ryan felt for sure this had been the right thing. He didn't exactly know what kind of vision or dream he had saw six months ago, but deep inside he knew he should listen to it. He knew that the second they found out they were having a little girl. He tried for the longest time to brush it off as simply just him being nervous and overwhelmed of Pam's pregnancy. Now as he drove alone in his car that beautiful warm spring morning, he knew it was a chance to see how fate really was.

In that life he had seen in the beginning things had been wonderful. Then he let his career get the best of him and distanced himself from Pam as she tried to adjust to her new life in the city. He wanted so badly to show her how much he could support her and the baby that he got caught up with all the success. That resulted in Pam falling out of love with him. She missed the person he once was and attached herself back with Jim. After the miscarriage of their son, and a horrible drug problem things just fell apart. He saw the rest of his life raising his daughter, and sharing her with Pam. Both were never the same again and both could never look each other in the eye.

Until…

That final part, of her staying the night. He remembered vaguely how their beautiful teenage daughter was upstairs sleeping when this happened. Pam had told him Jim and her had split up. That's when he knew at that exact moment they still loved each other.

And now?

Well fate had indeed taken care of that. Things had been different since he found out he was sick. Yet now, he knew for sure that Pam really did love him, and that he was trying his best. He hated the fact he was dying, and hated himself for doing this to Pam. But he just prayed he would be able to see the baby, just once…and then make sure Pam would be okay. He didn't know if fate would work the same way, but for the time being he knew Jim would take care of her. After that, he knew Pam was strong…she would be okay.

Gripping the steering wheel he stared up at the beautiful blue sky.

"Please God, just let me be able to see my baby once, just once. I'm trying to make things right."

When he arrived back at the apartment Pam was dressed in slacks and a shawl. She looked beautiful as she greeted him at the door.

"Hi, where were you?"

Ryan smiled putting down his car keys.

"I was over at my brother's, just spent the morning with him."

"Oh, I was worried when I didn't see you this morning."

Ryan smiled as the two kissed, right away his head started to throb worse then ever.

"How's our girl doing?"

Ryan asked, putting both hands on her stomach. The baby began kicking. Pam smiled looking up at him.

"Say, do you feel up to a drive?"

"Yeah sure."

"Great, come on."

An hour later Pam turned off down an old dirt road. Ryan had sat in the passenger seat slightly amused after seeing Pam could barley fit behind the wheel. Both listened the music and had the windows rolled down. There was a light breeze that made everything perfect. Ryan sat there watching the town slowly unfold into the countryside. Finally Pam parked.

They were by a lake.

"Where are we?"

"Come on…"

Pam got out of the car as Ryan followed. Under Pam's arm was a blanket. They were at a small lake off a farm road. Pam explained to him as they walked down the hill of lush green grass that her father took her fishing here before. Both laid out the blanket by the water and laid together, watching the clouds. Pam gently rubbed her stomach as she laid her head on Ryan's chest.

Finally she turned and looked down at him.

"So do I have an answer?"

Ryan looked at her, an eyebrow raised.

"To what?"

"If you'll be my husband?"

Ryan smiled, slipping his hand into hers.

"Pam…I know you don't want to hear this but…"

"Please don't."

Pam's eyes pleaded. She stared down at him before looking at their hands locked together. Bringing his over to her, she gently kissed his fingers.

"I just wanna hear the words."

"No big wedding?"

Pam tried to smile, he saw tears building in her eyes.

"No, just you and me."

"Okay then…how do we do it?"

Pam smiled, resting her chin on his chest.

"Well I would say…I take you as my husband, to love and to cherish…through sickness and in health…till…"

"Death do us part."

Ryan finished, Pam stared down at him before he took her hand this time and kissed it.

"I take you as my wife, to love and to cherish…though sickness and in health till…"

Before he could say it Pam tightly pressed her lips against his, kissing him deeply. Ryan laughed through the kiss before he held onto her. Moments later she broke the kiss, her hair hanging in her eyes.

"I guess I pronounce us man and wife?"

"And I guess I can kiss the bride again?"

Pam laughed.

"Of course you can."

Both kissed again before Ryan smiled up at her.

"How about I take you out for some milk and graham crackers as our reception?"

Pam laughed again.

"Sounds good."

That day the two of them spent together, laughing, kissing, and for once really not worrying. That night as Pam slept peacefully beside him, Ryan laid awake watching her, hoping God had listened to him earlier.

The new few weeks were good ones.

Spring had really come and the weather was becoming beautiful. Pam said in just a few more weeks she was taking early maternity leave. Ryan's vision was getting worse and during one of his last treatments he had past out. The doctors had taken Pam aside telling her if they kept up they would have to commit him to the hospital. Pam threw a fit, screaming at the doctor's that they were doing fine and that Ryan would continue his course of treatment since they weren't about to give up hope. Ryan meanwhile had dropped another fifteen pounds and his hair was so thin even by putting his hand through it chunks would fall out. Now he wore a baseball cap around all the time or a bandana. The drugs were making him sick and his leg was giving him a hard time he had to stop driving all together. He hated this since he couldn't see Pam at work anymore. But now she got out an hour early and was always by his side. Making sure he was taking his pills, and felt all right.

Angela threw a baby shower at the office for Pam, who was suspired at how nice she was being. Pam had wanted Ryan to come but that morning he couldn't stop throwing up. His brother had swung by and told Pam that he would watch him.

"No, I should stay…"

Ryan sat up in bed, throwing up again before looking at her.

"No Pam go! I want you to I'm fine!"

"Maybe we should call the hospital…"

"Please Pam, please go and enjoy yourself. I'm fine."

Pam looked at him for a moment before he winked at her. Pam felt as though she was being torn apart. Sniffling in some tears she nodded and promised not to be long before giving Ryan's brother a mile long list of numbers and things to do in case he got worse. Leaving, Ryan waited until he heard the front door close before throwing up again. His brother sat on the bed with him, rubbing his back and telling him everything was going to be okay.

Pam felt horrible on her way in, until she bumped into Jim in the parking-lot. Lately Karen and him had been having some problems.

"Hey you, ready for upstairs? I think Michael got your baby an I-pod."

Pam tried to smile before she started crying, right away Jim looked concerned.

"Hey what's wrong?"

Pam wiped her eyes before shaking her head.

"Nothing, I'm just being stupid."

Jim gently put his arm around her shoulder.

"No what is it?"

Pam looked at him helpless.

"Ryan, he's doing worse. The doctors are telling me the tumors are shutting down the right side of his body, he can barley see out of one eye and the doctor's told me last night that if he keeps up with the treatment he'll be dead within a week…I just don't know what to do!"

Jim put his arms around her and let her cry against him. Pam sobbed as Jim held her, telling her softly everything was going to be okay.

Pam looked up at him, tears rolling down her face.

"I really love him Jim! I really do! And between all of this, and the pregnancy I'm so tried! I just want to wake up tomorrow and have everything be okay! I can't do this without him!"

Jim held her tighter as she cried.

"Shhhh, it's okay…"

Finally Pam got herself under control, wiping her eyes she looked up at him.

"I'm a mess."

"No, you're just someone who loves someone very much."

Pam sniffled in before he smiled down at her.

"Come on, let's see that Beesly million dollar smile."

Pam laughed through some of her tears before nodding. Jim reached down wiping one of them away.

"Come on, let's try to enjoy ourselves. I'm sure that's what Ryan wants."

Nodding, Pam let Jim lead her inside.

At the shower, everyone wanted to know how Ryan was doing. Pam held a strong face and told everyone he wasn't feeling very well this morning and wanted to say how sorry he was for not coming. But he seemed to be doing fine. There she sat around Angela's pink and white decorations and balloons as she opened gifts, ate cake, and laughed with her friends.

At home Ryan couldn't feel his arm.

His mother and brother were now there. His mother had come by nearly an hour ago, her face set like stone before asking to come in. Ryan's brother, a little stunned to see her said sure and let her in. She walked in seeing the frail shell of her son laying in bed and throwing up what appeared to be blood. Without saying a word she set down her purse and sat beside him, holding the bucket he was vomiting in and then got a cool cloth out and set it on his forehead.

"Mom?"

Ryan's voice was muttered.

Ryan's mother nodded. His brother stood in the doorway watching.

"Do you remember how I used to sit with you whenever you had a fever as a boy?"

Ryan nodded, his arm was twitching.

"Shhhh, just rest."

Ryan's mother eyes one of the sonogram photos laying on the nightstand that were surrounded by millions of Ryan's different pill bottles.

She picked it up and smiled.

"This my granddaughter?"

Ryan nodded, he looked half dazed.

So for the rest of the afternoon she sat with him, Before leaving she gently kissed the side of his feverish head and promised him she would check in on her granddaughter from time to time.

"Ryan, you've always made me proud."

She said, then she left. His brother stayed by his side before Pam came home. Jim had brought all the gifts. Walking in, still laughing as Jim carried in the third tower of gifts, both saw Ryan's brother standing in the doorway.

"Hey, how's he doing?"

"Fine, had a rough patch but he's settled down."

Pam was completely unaware that his mother had been here earlier. Nodding, she set down her stuff before turning around, she knew Ryan wouldn't of wanted Jim to see him like this.

"Well thanks again Jim, I had fun."

"I'm glad you did."

"And thanks again for the music box and photo, I'll make sure I put them in the nursery."

Pam and Ryan had been working on and off with the spare room in turning it into a nursery. So far with Ryan being so weak it was half finished.

Jim smiled.

"Well remember if you need anything call me."

Pam nodded.

"Okay, thanks again."

Both pecked on the cheek before Jim left. Turning, Pam looked at Ryan's brother.

"Okay, how bad is he?"

"Bad."

Pam nodded before rolling up her sleeves and going down the hall. Before nightfall she had called the doctor's and they told her if he got any worse then to call an ambulance. He didn't seem to have a high fever just set, but she could feel him shaking underneath the blankets. Hoping the God she wouldn't have to bring him to the hospital, she sat beside him, gently rubbing his side and telling him all about the baby shower.

"Ryan you would of loved it, just wait until I show you everything. Michael got us an I-pod."

She grinned before feeling it fade away. Ryan's nose was bleeding.

"Ryan?"

She shook him, opening his cloudy colored eyes he went to say something and Pam saw blood come out.

"Jesus!"

She said before grabbing a tissue and catching the blood that was traveling down his chin. Ryan looked at her before blinking.

"Pam?"

She called an ambulance.

That night Ryan laid in his hospital bed, hooked up to and machines. He looked peaceful now, yet so frail and thin. Pam stood outside of his room speaking with Dr. Marks.

"Eighteen months, you told me eighteen months!"

"Pam it's the treatment. I warned you this could speed it up."

"No you said it could buy time."

"I warned you of the effects it could have, his body is shutting down…it's just too weak. I was afraid this would happen."

"Then what can we do?"

"Pam there's nothing we can do, we've tried everything."

Pam shot him a look.

"I don't think we've tried everything."

Dr. Marks sighed.

"At this rate he might become paralyzed on his entire right side, that if the tumors don't stop bleeding…he might start seizing, that could result in more damage."

Pam shook her head, she knew she was crying.

"Jesus! You're telling me there's nothing!"

"Pam just let him be. It's time to throw in the towel and just let him be comfortable. You have a baby on the way, you shouldn't worry yourself this bad anymore."

"Listen I tell you when…ah!"

Dr. Marks jumped back.

"What is it?"

Pam hunched over before putting her hands between her legs, pain spread across her face.

"Ah!"

Pam cried before bringing up her hand, blood was dripping from it.

All the while Ryan slept just a few feet away.