A/N: Okay, so this is the last chapter of the four I am posting tonight. I will be posting another one soon, probably tomorrow.

I don't own twilight, but I do have an unhealthy addiction to both 'Wide Awake' and 'The Office' fan fics.

Edward POV

I honestly had no recollection of the first few days back in Boston. I spent most of them high or drunk, often times both. I also never had a moment of privacy though. If it wasn't Jasper hanging all over me, it was Emmett or Alice. I honestly think they were on suicide watch or some shit, though I knew it would never get that far. I missed Bella with every fiber of my being, but I was not suicidal. I reached over to my iPod and turned on 'Are you Sure?' by Willie Nelson, letting his voice fill my room.

Oh, look around you

Look down the bar from you

The lonely faces that you see

Are you sure that this is where you want to be

These are your friends

But are they real friends

Do they love you the same as me

Are you sure that this is where you want to be

Of course it wasn't where I wanted to be Willie, I thought to myself. I wanted to be wrapped up in Bella's arms, her naked body pressed against mine, but that wasn't going to happen any time soon. Next to alcohol and random drugs, depressing music was what was getting me through the days in Boston. I hadn't seen my parents once since I arrived back, but I didn't care.

Tonight I had dragged Jasper to a party that I was invited to by Mike Newton. I couldn't stand the guy, but I needed to get out and hopefully get laid. Preferably by some blonde chick who looked the complete opposite of Bella. Of course, Jasper cock blocked me at every single change he got, claiming I would regret everything I did if I happened to see Bella in New York. Of course seeing her again was the last thing I wanted to do. Her face already filled every single one of my dreams and all my waking thoughts. It was getting pretty fucking ridiculous, so I stumbled through the party and actually cracked a slight smile when I heard Jessica Stanley's voice behind me.

"Hi Edward, Welcome back," she said sweetly as she sauntered over beside me and looked up at me with her empty blue eyes. She was dressed like a complete slut, and I laughed because she was clearly trying too hard, where as Bella never even had to try. "Alice told me you finally got a girlfriend. How's that going?"

"Well Alice was wrong. There is no girl," I remarked casually as I reached over and ran my hand through the ends of her chemically altered bleach blonde hair. It felt so dry, nothing even remotely close to Bella's hair, which was always soft and smelled like almonds.

"Oh, well that's a good thing then," sighed Jessica as she moved her body closer to mine and took a sip of her drink in what I could only assume was supposed to be a sexy manner. "Do you want to go somewhere private and umm… talk?" she asked as she ran her finger down my chest and tugged lightly at my belt. I nodded my head in agreement, but I didn't move. Even when she grabbed my arm and tried to pull me from the room with her, I never budged. Instead, I left my drink on the bar and headed outside to the backyard, where I located Jasper.

"Let's go," I said in anger as he looked up at me in concern. "Let's fucking go," I yelled again and Jasper was up from his chair quickly, waving goodbye to a few of his friends from the basketball team. When I finally got home from the party, I was pissed. I locked Jasper out of my room and lay down on my bed, doing my best to calm down and think of anything but her. The music flowed effortlessly into the next song and I laughed out loud. Even the iPod gods were mad at me, I thought as 'Something I Can Never Have' by Nine Inch Nails came on.

I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep Anymore

Damned you Trent Reznor for reading my fucking mind at this very moment. I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted to talk to her and tell her I was sorry for not letting her tell me, even though I wasn't. I felt like I needed to say something to her, anything to her, to bring her back into my life. The more I thought about her, the more I resented the fact that she wouldn't leave my mind. It wasn't her fault that all my thoughts dealt with her; it was my fault for falling so madly in love with a girl that was clearly more unattainable then I had thought.

A few days later, I had decided to stop drinking so much, because it was clearly affecting my friends and I need to still pack all my shit for New York. I was halfway through my second box when Alice bounced into my room, her face a lit in a big smile.

"What the fuck? Did you find a diamond ring in your Cheerios this morning?" I asked sarcastically as she sat herself down on my bed and looked at me happily.

"Bella emailed me," she said quietly and my head immediately snapped back up to her face and I grew tense.

"Stay out of it Alice. Tell Bella to stay out of my life, and that includes leaving you alone." I was furious now. Why the hell did she feel the need to contact Alice? I hadn't gone and contacted Angela; in fact I had tried to ignore her existence ever since I left her at JFK.

"You are crushed Edward. I've never seen you like this, and if I think I can find a way to get you guys back together, you can bet I will try," she said confidently as she threw me a small book, which I tossed into the open box in front of me. "You miss her, admit it."

"Fine Alice, I miss her. I fucking hate being apart from her. I feel like I am drowning and there is nothing I can do to make it better. Are you happy?" I yelled as she stood from the bed and headed for the doorway.

"I'll be happy when you are happy," she replied calmly.

"You know what would make me happy; cancel that stupid ass party thing you have planned. I don't want to go."

"Don't worry about it, Jasper already did it. He was worried how you would handle the entire thing. I think he thought you'd snort coke off of Jess's fake tits or something," she called out as she headed down the hallway, back towards her room. I shook my head to turn my thoughts from the conversation we had just had and focused my attention back to the items in front of me that needed to be packed.

Jasper, Emmett and I arrived in New York only three days later. Jasper's dad was driving the U-Haul truck we had rented because the rest of us were considered underage to rent it. I drove up in my Volvo, Emmett was in his Jeep and Jasper was driving the new Audi he bought for himself as a graduation gift. The apartment they had gotten us was actually pretty decent, much better than I expected. The building had a doorman, who I would later discover was named Barry, and our apartment was a decent size. The main living area wasn't huge, but our bedrooms were certainly larger than they would have been had we ended up in the dorms. I patted Jasper on the back and gave him a look that said 'Way to go Champ' before we headed back downstairs to get some boxes. We had no living room furniture on the first day, because everything was due to be delivered the next day, but I didn't care. I had a bed, my dresser, my desk, some pillows and my iPod, I was set for the first night.

It was just after dinner when Jasper wandered into my room holding a small box. I was busy unpacking a few items into my dresser and looked up at him, he looked worried.

"What's that?" I asked curiously as he held it out to me nervously.

"It's for you. It's from Bella." I grabbed the box from him and threw it on the bed, trying to ignore it though it stood out like a big pink elephant in the room. "Aren't you going to open it?"

"Not right now. I don't know. I might just throw it out," I said as I opened another box and found every single map from our trip through Europe. Great, another fucking reminder of her, I thought to myself as Jasper turned and left the room, closing the door tight behind him. I searched through the box for my iPod speakers and set them up on my nightstand, plugging my iPod in and setting it to random. I had to laugh when 'Ain't No Sunshine' by Bill Withers poured from the speakers. I looked tentatively at the box and sat down on the bed, making quick work of the tape that held it together.

Once I had it opened, two envelopes fell into my lap and I immediately knew what one of them was. It was all of the pictures of us from our trip. She had done just like I had asked of her and sent them to me. Sometimes I had practically begged her to remember to send them to me. I fingered the envelope carefully, but didn't want to open it. If I opened it, I would probably start crying and I hadn't cried over her in days. I didn't want to start again. I tore open the second envelope and out fell a letter she had written me. I held it up to my nose, and it smelled just like her and my body shivered as I remembered her scent. I missed it more than I realized. I flipped open the paper and read the words she had written in her tiny script.

Edward,

Please don't be mad at Alice for giving me your address, I just had to send you these photos. I hope they remind you of our happier times and of how much I love you. Present tense. I still love you with all my heart and soul, and I hope you can find it within you to forgive me one day. I never meant for any of this to happen, I just couldn't bear the thought of being without you and I ended up making everything worse because of my fears.

If you decide you ever want to talk to me, I'm going to be at Wilson Hall, 876 Wilson St, New York 87496. I don't have a phone yet, since I only fly in to town on the twenty eighth, but you can email me at lost0913(a) gmail dot com. I promise this isn't something I created recently; it was actually my handle for like three years before.

Anyways, I will try to leave the ball in your court, but I hope you will try to contact me when I get to New York. I don't want to give up on us. I miss you so much. You can also try my cell phone at 740-551-5498.

I love you

Bella

I crumbled up the paper in my hands and immediately regretted it and laid it down on the bed, flattening it out so I could read it again and again. I grabbed the other envelope and finally opened it, searching slowly through every single picture. I pulled the ones of me and Bella together aside into a separate pile and felt my body shake as I looked at them. I felt empty inside as I looked at the photos where Bella and I were practically beaming because we were so in love. I laughed at a photo taken before we had said we loved each other, because in the photo you could clearly see it was true. The camera had known before we had. I went to slip into the pile and I noticed handwriting on the back of the photo. I knew I loved you on this day in Copenhagen. I picked up all the photos and noticed small notes on the back of each one. They were all different and reflected the scene on the other side of the picture, but each one was meaningful. I tossed them aside and went looking for Jasper.

"Do you have any thumbtacks man?" I asked him as I headed into his room anxiously. He rummaged through an open box and threw me an entire pack of them. "Thanks," I said with a sigh as I headed back to my room in silence, closing my door tightly behind me. I grabbed my chair and a few of the maps and from the box and set to work.

It was only a few hours later when Emmett practically danced into the apartment calling out for me as loudly as he could. "What?" I yelled at him as I stepped from my room, closing the door tightly behind me. He was excited about something and I had no idea what the hell was going on in his steroid riddled brain. Jasper came out into the living room and threw himself on the couch. He looked extremely happy too, although that probably meant he just off the phone with Alice.

"Guess who I just met?" he said with a grin as he sat down on our new leather love seat.

"Umm… Barbara Walters?" joked Jasper as I laughed at him.

"Frodo Baggins?" I laughed, knowing full well of Emmett's obsession with all things Lord of the Rings.

"Jabba the Hut?" said Jasper as he threw the phone down on the counter. I was right, he had been talking to Alice.

"Barack Obama? Or perhaps the first dog Bo?"

"Jessica Alba?"

"I wish," sighed Emmett as he pretended to wipe drool from his chin. "Guess again."

"Jesus Emmett, just tell us. This could last all fucking night," I said in frustration as I sat down in one of the chairs flanking our dining room table.

"I just had the extreme pleasure of meeting, and getting a hug from… drum roll please…. Isabella Marie Swan." Jasper's head immediately snapped around to me to check out my reaction, but I simply glared at Emmett. I was confused as to how he had seen her, and even more jealous that he had touched her, hugged her, and probably smelt her. "She's hot dude. Like seriously fucking hot."

"Where did you see her? Is she downstairs stalking me?" I asked angrily. I could feel my blood boiling from his comments and it was driving me nuts.

"Hardly. She didn't even know who we were," said Emmett as he turned the TV onto ESPN and watched for a few minutes.

"What do you mean 'she didn't even know who we were'?"

"I mean, she had no idea who I was, until I Rosalie introduced me to her. She's Rosalie's fucking roommate man. How ironic and cruel is that? You don't want to see her again, and I get the pleasure of being around her every time I visit Rosie." Emmett was right; it was very ironic and cruel, but I had more questions than answers now.

"Why did she hug you?" I asked in curiosity. Emmett and Jasper both glared me because they knew I was jealous, but I didn't care. I just shrugged my shoulders and waited for him to talk to me.

"She thanked me for taking care of you after you guys broke up. It was really sweet and she seemed sincerely concerned about you. Jasper, you should go over and get your thanks too. She's a good hugger, nice rack on her and all that shit. I bet she does other stuff even better like… "Emmett never got the chance to finish what he was going to say because my temper got the better of me and I was launching myself off the chair towards him and hitting him about the face and chest in fury. Jasper reached over to pull us apart, which took a bit of time, but he finally did.

"Calm down Edward," sighed Jasper as he forced me back into my chair. "She's not yours anymore."

"Doesn't mean he can say whatever the fuck he wants about her. It's not like my feelings disappeared in the past two weeks," I snapped at both of them

"Then go get her you fucking idiot. If you don't, someone else will. She's too hot and sweet to be off the market for too long. She lied to you, yes that sucks, but she still wants you Edward. How would you feel if you finally got up the balls to talk to her and she wasn't available anymore? If I wasn't with Rose, I would definitely try to hit that." I wanted to jump up and punch him again but Jasper held me back. I headed back to my room in anger, closing the door tightly behind me and laid on my bed. I turned on my iPod and laughed again at the irony. 'Pictures of you' by the Cure. Just kill me now.

A/N: Before you all get mad at me for ending it there, don't worry… they will see and talk to each other in the next chapter.