Cobra Commander paced in front of the chained and beaten figure of Sebastian Bludd. "I trusted you, Bludd. I trusted you, and you let me down."
"Commander, I can explain-"
"How do you think that makes me feel, Bludd?" Cobra Commander asked.
Bludd thought a moment. "Uh…betrayed?"
"And if you had been betrayed, dear S.B., what would you do?" Cobra Commander asked.
Bludd didn't answer.
"I think you know what I like to do when I'm betrayed, Bludd," Cobra Commander said. "I like to torture people. I think you may have figured that out by now."
"Yes," Bludd said, wincing.
"Needless to say, you won't be needing a manicure for a while," the Commander said. "But since finger and toenails don't contain a lot of live tissue, I imagine you won't miss them that much."
Bludd said nothing. He reasoned that whatever he said, whatever he did, would only result in more pain. Besides, the Commander was still having his little monologue, and Bludd's mother had always said that it was impolite to interrupt.
"But I felt that my methodology was getting a bit…rusty," the Commander said. "So, I decided to ask my lovely bodyguard what he would do if he caught a traitor. Storm Shadow put some time into his answer, but eventually said that he would just stab the man through the heart. I asked him why. He replied that it was more humane than allowing them to simply bleed out through their stomach, but less so than a beheading…so I decided I might put that to the test."
Bludd looked up at the Commander in horror. "You're going to kill me?" he asked.
"Hush, Bludd. There's more." The Commander stalked back and forth like some predatory animal. "Then, I asked Destro what he would do if he caught a traitor. My favorite business magnate replied that he would humiliate the traitor in front of people who might betray him. Baroness, who was butting in per usual her normal behavior, said that she would probably have him killed and abandon his body somewhere that would offend the Americans.
"I slept on it. As I dreamed, the answer hit me. Can you guess what the answer was, Bludd?"
Bludd thought a moment. "Did you decide not to kill me?" he asked.
"No! I decided to do all three of them!" Cobra Commander crowed. "Isn't that funny, Bludd? Isn't that just a hoot?"
"Er, not really," Bludd said.
"Of course, Bludd, of course," Cobra Commander said. "You and your nonexistent sense of humor. What a killjoy."
Bludd said nothing as Cobra Commander called in the Vipers. He watched miserably as Cobra Commander had another long, psychotic monologue, and wondered if the Commander realized how odd he looked. Finally, the Commander turned back to him.
"Any last words, Bludd?" Cobra Commander asked.
"Yankees forever," Bludd said fiercely, eyes searching for the spot on Cobra Commander's inhuman mask that might betray where his eyes were. Cobra Commander drew back his arm, and stabbed Bludd with a carelessness that would have done Heath Ledger's Joker proud. As Bludd fell to the cold marble dais with a sickening thump, Storm Shadow, who had been standing by, frowned slightly.
"You know, Commander, this makes me uneasy," he said.
"Really? You're a Red Sox fan too, though. I'm sure you understand," Cobra Commander said.
"No, I don't object to that," Storm Shadow said. "It just feels like his death was wasted, somehow."
"Really?" Cobra Commander asked.
"He's a power player, Commander. I know that it keeps the Vipers quiet, but there will be factions of the populace that will be disquieted," Storm Shadow said.
The Commander sighed. "Well, what's done is done. Besides, it's scary to stab people over sports rivalries, right?"
Storm Shadow said nothing, although in his personal opinion, there could be very little that was edgy about terrorists who destroyed the world in costume and could have voice acted for Sesame Street.