Discs.: I don't own Criminal Minds nor its characters!

A/N: Here's another update - it was mainly written by my friend Dakota...I just added some stuff...

Broken

10. Count on me

As Morgan was finishing his report JJ walked up to him, Reid and Garcia, a worried expression on her face.

"I just got off the phone with Elle..."

"Is she already looking forward to getting some company?" Morgan asked.

"Well, unfortunately she's sick, so I guess we'll have to delay visiting her."

"How is she doing?" Reid wanted to know.

Morgan felt once again that vague rage which followed him ever since he had seen Hotch at Elle's place that one night...He lifted his head and took a look at Hotch's office door. 'Well, it figures,' he thought.

Hotch had just come back to work three days earlier after staying at home for almost two weeks because he had been sick. Morgan frowned as he thought about the fact that it was by no chance a coincidence that Elle was sick as well.

"Hey Morgan, did you hear me?" JJ interrupted his thoughts.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I suggested that we could get some drinks together instead of visiting Elle." JJ stated, a smile on her lips.

Morgan hesitated for a moment then he replied :

"Sounds good to me." He forced a smile onto his face.

A few hours later :

Morgan had already tried to fall asleep for almost an hour when he decided to give it up. He wished he hadn't found out that there was something going on between Hotch and Elle.

It pained him so goddamn much to know about this, because even if he won't have feelings for her, he still cared incredibly much about Elle, but the truth was he had feelings for her - in fact he was deeply in love with her and there was nothing he could do about it.

But apparently it was too late, only a few months ago he had had his chance to be with her. He still remembered how it had started like it had been just the other day...

Flashback :

They were now working on this damn case for ten days and so far they didn't even have a suspect. Almost fifty percent of the female population of Kansas City were terrified to leave their homes - especially at night.

So far they had found 24 bodies and the UnSub kept escalating. Every murder was more gruesome than the ones before...

First this perp was raping his victims brutally, beating them up pretty badly in the process, then he tortured them almost to death before he forced them to drink diluted hydrochloric acid, causing them to to die a very painful and slow death.

However, their main problem was that the victims had nothing in common except of their physical type.

After they had found another body Hotch came to the conclusion that they all could use a break and most of all some sleep.

At the hotel, 11:56 pm :

Even though they had arrived back at their hotel already over one and a half hour ago, Morgan was still awake. He just couldn't get the image of the latest victim out of his mind.

Sure he had already seen a lot of horrible things doing this job, but this case was different. It wasn't the UnSub's brutality or the number of victims, no it was something else which was getting to him - it was the one thing that all victims had in common...

It was the fact that they were all reminding him - and also the others, or so he thought - of Elle. All victims were brunette, extremely beautiful and had brown eyes...

Especially when he had taken a look at the latest victim his mind had been playing evil tricks on him, trying to convince him that it was Elle lying in front of him, brutally raped and beaten up, instead of the victim, Mary Delgado.

For a terrifying moment, which had seemed to last for a complete eternity, his mind had succeeded on fooling him. He had been frozen and had felt like he had to throw up, but somehow he had managed to conquer the nausea.

However, that feeling of sickness had been negligible compared to a mix of emotions which had overwhelmed him in that very moment. When he had finally found the strength to move again he had turned around, his eyes desperately searching for Elle. It hadn't been until he had seen his colleague and friend standing barely three feet away from him that he had released a relieved breath, which he hadn't even been aware he had been holding.

As he remembered her facial expression, the look in her eyes as she was incapable of stopping to stare at the victim's body Morgan got up from the armchair he was sitting on since entering the room, and went to the door.

A moment later :

When he knocked against the door in front of him there was only one thought on his mind. To him it seemed like it was taking ages for the door to open, nonetheless a smile appeared on his face as Elle looked surprised at him.

"Morgan...What are you doing here?"

"Well, I just wanted to make sure that you're okay...Can I come in?" Morgan replied, he was relieved that she hadn't already been sleeping when he had gotten to her room and that she wasn't mad at him for interrupting.

Elle just kept looking at him for a few seconds, obviously thinking about whether she should let him in or not. She locked eyes with him for a moment and apparently she had seen something in his eyes that made her give in, because a moment later she stepped aside and let him in.

After she had closed the door she stated :

"Have a seat." She paused, then she asked like an afterthought,

"You wanna have a drink or something?"

"Why not..." Morgan smiled brightly at her.

As Elle sat down on an armchair, looking at him, his smile faded and he asked :

"How are you?"

"I dunno..." Elle replied avoiding the subject.

"You know, this case affects all of us..."

"Then why are you here with me instead of checking on someone else?"

"Well, that's something I don't know."

Morgan's smile returned for a moment before he became serious again.

"Listen Elle, I know you don't wanna hear this - but I'm really worried about you..."

A small smile formed on her face.

"I'm okay, just very tired. And of course this damn case is getting to me, but it's no big deal, really."

"Okay..." Morgan surrendered, knowing that pushing her would be pointless, because she would only get mad at him.

"But you know that I'm there if you need someone to talk, right?"

"Yeah, I know Morgan and I really aprreciate your offer."

Half-past two am :

As they got up from their seats they remained silent for the time being. When Elle had reached the door she stopped and turned back around, looking at Morgan who was now standing in front of her. They shared a smile and Elle started :

"Thanks Morgan..."

"For what?" He asked slightly puzzled.

"For being there tonight," Elle shrugged and added,

"It felt really good to talk with you."

An unreadable expression crossed Morgan's face and only a moment later he leaned closer, kissing her softly. Elle was way too surprised as that she could have reacted right away, so she let him kiss her.

After an endless moment Elle finally found the strength to break their kiss, which had become more and more passionate by every passing second, and forced herself to say, even though just above a whisper :

"Morgan, do you really think that..." She trailed off.

"You're right - this isn't a good idea, after all we work together." They locked eyes for a moment, before he looked away and added,

"I should probably leave now..."

He looked once more at her, reaching for the door-knob.

"No, don't go...Please stay..."

"Are you sure?" Morgan gave her a questioning glance.

"Yeah, I'm sure...Stay..." Elle smiled softly at him.

Morgan returned the smile and leaned in, kissing her passionately again, pulling her as close to him as possible.

End flashback

They had agreed that it was 'just for fun'...But he had known even before they had started seeing each other that he had feelings for her - even though only subconsciously.

Morgan let out a heavy sigh, he just couldn't understand what Elle was seeing in Hotch. After all he was their supervisor and most of all he had a family.

He simply doubted that it could work between them.

A moment later Morgan sighed again, hoping that Hotch was smart enough to know that he would only hurt Elle in the long-run and ended it on time.

8 days later :

Luckily Elle felt better quite fast, so JJ had decided that they should finally pay her a visit.

At first Morgan had been sceptical and had considered to tell the others that he had already other plans for the night, but he couldn't come up with a good excuse. After all he couldn't tell them that he had doubts about whether he had the strength to spend time with Elle without blurting out what was bothering him.

However, in the end he had decided to tag along - mainly because Hotch won't come...

Now they were waiting for Elle to open the door. As she finally opened and smiled at them, JJ was the first to hug her. Only a moment later Garcia and even Reid did the same while Morgan hesitated, but after Garcia had released Elle from her arms he walked up to her and pulled Elle into a tight embrace.

When he stepped back a moment later he saw her smile widening as they locked eyes.

Half-past midnight :

They had talked for hours with each other, they had some drinks together and to Morgan it was obvious that their company was making Elle feel better.

After a while their colleagues left one by one until Morgan was the only one remaining.

"I'm glad that you're feeling better." Morgan broke the silence.

"You already said that..." Elle smirked at him.

"Right..." He paused and took a closer look at her,

"So, how are you really doing?"

"I'm okay, really..."

They locked eyes for a while, remaining silent for the time being.

"You know you can always count on me, right? I mean, if you ever need someone to talk or something - I'm there..." Morgan stated a few minutes later, breaking finally the silence, an unreadable expression on his face.

A bright smile appeared on Elle's face as she assured him :

"Yeah, I know Morgan."

After another moment she leaned closer and kissed him softly. Morgan responded immediately, turning the at first tender kiss into a more and more passionate one.

As they broke away to catch their breathes Morgan looked straight into Elle's eyes trying to determine what she was thinking, then he asked the one question which he couldn't get out of his head :

"What about Hotch?"

Elle just stared surprised at him for a moment before she answered his question with another one :

"What about him?"

Her voice was shaking, it was obvious that she was totally taken aback by his question.

"I know that there's something going on between the two of you...I saw him kissing you that one evening when I visited you."

"It meant nothin, really..." Elle said, her voice firm again, showing that she had overcome the first shock which his revelation had caused.

"Really? Because I love you and I don't wanna be just a replacement for Hotch...If you just want some kind of distraction I gonna leave 'cause that's something I can't give you."

They locked eyes and Elle was surprised and also very touched by the softness displayed in his eyes and evident in his voice.

"Listen Morgan, it's you who's here right now, not Hotch. And I won't want it to be different, believe me..." Elle paused, feeling slightly torn, but then she added,

"I mean, what happened between me and Hotch was nothing but a mistake, it's in the past...And to be honest I don't wanna talk about it."

Morgan lifted his right hand, caressing softly her cheek. He knew that her words were sincere, yet he couldn't help but notice the bitterness and hurt he had heard in her voice.

Meanwhile Elle closed her eyes, enjoying his tender touch then she made a step toward him and he drew her even closer, embracing her tightly.

For a while they just stood there like this, perfectly silently, then Morgan bent down and kissed her passionate.

Some time later :

As they were lying next to each other in her bed Morgan let his fingers draw absentmindedly tender patterns onto her skin. He had to admit that he had missed the feeling of her soft skin against his own, had missed breathing in that intoxicating scent of hers...

Yet he still remembered that feeling of her lips against his, remembered how it felt to be so close to her. As soon as his fingertips had brushed over the bare skin of her back as he had undressed her, there had been a feeling of recognition he couldn't ignore and her eyes had told him that she felt it too.

It had felt like no time at all had passed since that night before he had told her that they should go back to being just friends. And for a felt eternity Hotch was completely forgotten, he just stopped existing for the time being...

A soft smile appeared on Morgan's face and he turned slightly his head so he could look at Elle's face. When his fingers brushed over the scar on her chest his smile vanished and was replaced by a concerned expression.

After a few seconds he asked just above a whisper :

"Does it still hurt?"

Elle remained silent, but even though her eyes were closed he knew that she had heard his question, so he kept quiet as well, giving her time to think about how to answer. A moment later she opened slowly her eyes, looking at him and replied :

"Well, sometimes it still hurts a bit, but it's okay..."

She smiled softly at him and added,

"But it's nonetheless often difficult to not think about what happened...I still have nightmares and wonder what could have happened if things had been different."

For a moment Morgan was surprised by the sudden honesty in her words. He wasn't used to this, wasn't used to Elle being this open about how she felt, still he was glad that she trusted him enough to confide in him. Yet at the same time he couldn't help wondering if she ever talked with Hotch about this.

Just as if she had sensed what he was thinking he heard a moment later Elle's quiet voice admitting :

"I never talked with anybody else about this...About how this affects me..."

Morgan silenced her with a soft kiss.

"I'm there for you - always..." He paused for a short moment, then he asked, deciding to change the topic,

"Why don't we try to get some sleep now?"

"Good idea..." Elle smiled at him and he put his arms around her, drawing her closer.

The next morning :

When Morgan woke up a smile appeared on his face as he saw Elle next to him, still deep asleep and he decided to let her sleep.

For a few minutes he kept watching her sleep then he got up to leave. Just as he wanted to get dressed his cell phone started ringing and even though he hurried to answer the call, Elle woke up.

While he was talking on the phone he felt how Elle observed him. When he finally finished the call he turned back toward Elle and told her :

"That was JJ...We have a new case." He trailed off and smiled at her.

"You wanted to leave without a word?" Elle asked a teasing smile on her lips.

"Well, I didn't want to wake you up..." He admitted,

"I wanted to leave you a message..."

"How considerate of you." Elle said, an amused undertone in her voice, and smirked at him.

"Yeah, isn't it?" Morgan replied chuckling, "Well, seriously Elle, how about I come by when we've closed the case and we talk?"

"Okay...So, where are you going?"

"Denver."

By now Morgan was ready to leave. He leaned closer to Elle and gave her a soft kiss, then he promised :

"I'll call you later, okay?"

They locked eyes for a moment, sharing a smile, then she nodded slowly and he left.

On the plane to Denver :

While they were talking about their new case Morgan kept observing Hotch, wondering if Elle had told him the truth.

Sure he wanted to simply believe her, and in fact he did, but nonetheless he couldn't ignore that tiny part of him that doubted her.

After a while he shook absentmindedly his head. He knew he should focus onto the case instead of thinking about this, but he couldn't - after all, he loved Elle, in a way he was sure Hotch could never lover her.

A heavy sigh escaped his mouth and he forced himself to finally focus his full attention onto the task at hand...

Later that day at the hotel :

As Morgan sat down on his bed he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Elle's number.

"Hey...How's it going?" He heard Elle's cheerful voice on the other end of the line.

"Well, it's going pretty good so far...How are you doing?"

"I'm okay...You're gonna tell me about the case?"

A sceptical expression crossed Morgan's face, after a moment he finally replied :

"Yeah, if you want me to - even though I don't understand why you wanna hear about it..."

"I'm terribly bored - and I really miss working.." Elle admitted after a moment of silence.

By hearing that Morgan couldn't help but smile, that was just typical Elle...A few minutes later he started telling her about their newest case, somehow he had suspected that she was going to ask him about it from the very beginning of their conversation.

A half hour later they hung up and he hoped that Elle would get some sleep - without having a nightmare. Morgan let out a sigh, already missing her...

After a moment his mind started wandering back to the evening when he had visited Elle and had seen Hotch kissing her after he had left.

Flashback :

He still couldn't believe what he had seen. It just couldn't be real...After all, he knew Elle, he knew that it was totally unlike her to get involved with a married man and even more so if that man was her supervisor.

But nontheless she had obviously something with Hotch, he couldn't deny that fact - couldn't deny the kiss he had observed.

Yet he wondered what this actually meant - he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he had always thought that Hotch was totally in love with Haley, or even more important that he was way too professional for having an affair with someone on his team.

A sad sigh escaped his mouth as he had to admit that he had been mistaken, and that fact hurt him especially because it wasn't just any colleague of him, it was Elle...But he couldn't bring himself to see why it hurt so badly, he didn't want to see that he wasn't just hurt but also incredibly jealous because of what he had seen - at least not yet.

After all, it had been his own decision to end their relationship - and to ignore the actual reason for that decision.

But now he couldn't keep pushing it away, couldn't keep denying that he had ended it because he had realized that he loved Elle and was scared by that fact...

The truth was that he had never really given love much of thinking - no matter how long a relationship lasted he had always refused to comit himself completely to the woman he was dating.

In fact he had sabotaged every single relationship he ever had as soon as it became too serious, whenever there came up the topic of love or the future he ran, making excuses for avoiding his girlfriend until they broke eventually up, or simply ended it right away...

It had never mattered to him if he had feelings for a woman or not, he just couldn't imagine staying with one of them for his entire life. But when he had started having a relationship with Elle that had suddenly changed.

He wasn't sure why, but he had simply been incapable of remaining emotionally unattached to her...Maybe it was because they had already been friends for quite a while before starting having a romantic relationship, maybe there was a completely different reason - he was simply not capable of figuring it out...

At first he hadn't seen how he really felt about her, but after a few weeks it had hit him all of a sudden, like a bolt out of the blue and for a short time he had simply tried to ignore it. However, it had only taken another few weeks before he had to face the fact that it was pointless to keep denying it...

He had to force himself to not run right away, but eventually he had backed away like he had always done - even though this time due to a totally different reason.

The more time had passed the more he had become worried, or even scared, after all, they were working together, they were close friends - and utmost they had agreed that it was nothing serious...

But he had fallen in love with her and he wasn't used to that, furthermore he wasn't sure if Elle was feeling the same way about him and he just couldn't muster up enough courage to ask her how she was feeling 'bout him, too afraid to reveal his love and getting rejected by her.

He was simply way too scared of the possibility that she wasn't feeling the same, too scared that he would lose her completely, their friendship included, if he told her the truth...

And so he had done what he always did - he had run, he had taken the easy way out, simply coming to the conclusion that it would be easier for him if he ended it himself instead of being left by Elle.

'And now it's too late...Really, great done, Derek. For the first time you really loved a woman with all your heart, and what did you do? - Exactly, you've run, like you always do. And now she's with Hotch- your married boss...' Morgan thought bitterly to himself.

After another few minutes he forced himself to push these thoughts away, after all, even though he still loved Elle - there was nothing he could do about this...Elle was old enough to make her own decisions no matter whether he liked them or not.

End flashback

Morgan started shaking slowly his head, after all, that with Hotch was apparently in the past, or so Elle had told him. And she had no reason for lying to him, right? She had also told him that what had been between her and Hotch had been a mistake. But most importantly she had granted him a second chance - and this time he was determined to not mess it up.

He was most definitely not going to make the same mistake twice. Furthermore he was certain that in the very unlikely, yet nonetheless possible, case that Hotch changed his mind and wanted to get Elle back, he would fight for her with all his strength. He would go the limit if necessary, it simply didn't matter to him what it might cost him if he really had to fight for her because of Hotch...

All he knew was that he loved Elle more than anything else in the world and that he - by any cost - couldn't lose her again. He knew that losing her would tear him apart, it would break every inch of his heart...

It had already pained him enough when he had told her that they should go back to how things had used to be. Sure he had tried to push the hurt away, but especially after he had found out about her and Hotch he couldn't ignore that incredible pain he felt any longer.

Morgan winced in pain as he remembered with unbelieveable regret that night...

Flashback :

They had just closed another tough, very exhausting case and everyone wanted to get home as soon as possible to forget about the case, to catch up on sleep - well, everyone but Morgan...

One by one his colleagues were leaving while he was focusing his entire attention on the huge pile of paperwork which was covering his desk.

JJ had been the first to leave, shortly followed by Reid, and a half hour later Gideon had left as well. Another fourty minutes later Garcia had finally torn herself away from her beloved computers and had entered the bullpen to say her cheerful goodbye.

Now only Hotch and Elle were left except of him.

So now, while he was writing his report, Morgan was praying to God that Elle would leave soon as well. Well, even though he was actually normally not really that religious, due to his job and other reasons, he was in fact now begging God to make Elle leave before he was done with his paperwork...

It had already been over three weeks since he had given up denying his feelings for her and even though he had tried as hard as he could to ignore his worries and doubts, he knew that he couldn't take the risk.

After a while Morgan got up and went to get some more coffee, while hoping that Elle would be gone when he returned to his desk.

But no such luck, when he turned around after refilling his cup he saw her leaning against his desk, a soft smile on her beautiful face.

He drew in a deep breath as he walked up to her, knowing that it was now inevitable to talk about that specific topic he had been avoiding now for over a week.

When he had reached her he put the mug of coffee down onto his desk. As he looked at her he realized once more how painful this was going to be, but he knew he had to do it...And what made it even worse was the fact that her eyes were telling him that she sensed that something was wrong.

Morgan was aware of the fact that she had probably noticed his odd behavior in the last few days. Because, even though they had normally only spent a few nights of the week with each other, mainly when working on a difficult case, he had come over to her apartment and also to her hotel-room while they had been working on that case in Orlando, during the entire week. He had simply needed to enjoy the remaining time, knowing that he couldn't keep being with her.

Another heavy sigh escaped his mouth before he took a deep breath and told her :

"Listen Elle, there's...there's something I need to..." He had to pause, noticing that his voice was shaking, he cleared his throat and gave it another try,

"There's something I need to talk about with you..." Morgan trailed off as he saw Elle's smile disappear.

"What is it?" Her voice was shaking as well.

"About that with us..." Morgan replied after a moment of silence.

After another moment of hesitation he went on,

"In the last time I thought a lot about it and I came to the conclusion that we should stop this...I mean, we work together and most important we're good friends and I simply don't wanna lose that..." He went silent as he realized that tears were running over Elle's cheeks.

Morgan swollowed hard, fighting back his own pain, and pulled her closer into a tight embrace, while Elle rested her head against his chest, her white-knuckled fists clenched in his shirt on either side of her burrowing face.

After a moment he said quietly :

"I'm sorry, Elle...I didn't mean to hurt you." He kept stroking her back, trying to soothe the pain he had caused.

When her sobs had mainly subsided he made a small step back, putting some space between them. Then he lifted his right hand to her face wiping away the wet trails of her tears, letting his other hand remain on her hip. Meanwhile Elle lifted her head to look at him, her hands still resting against his chest.

Morgan let his fingers slide through her hair before he started caressing her cheek. After another moment of silence he stated softly :

"However, this doesn't mean that I don't care about you, I mean, you know that, right?"

A few seconds later Elle nodded slowly and he bent down, giving her a soft kiss onto her forehead. Elle closed her eyes, holding on to the moment just like him...

End flashback

He had regretted his decision right away, but he had needed to do it, right?

Morgan hadn't even noticed that Hotch had seen them that night, and neither had Elle he assumed. Well, it wasn't like he cared about Hotch's opinion... In fact he didn't give a damn about what his supervisor was thinking - Hotch had lost his respect the moment Morgan had seen him kissing Elle...

He shook slowly his head, deciding that he should finally get some sleep, after all, he had to get back to work early in the morning. But it was difficult for him to relax, there were simply too many thoughts racing through his head.

He wondered if Elle was still awake and at that thought he started realizing once more how much he was missing her - and with that he didn't mean her touch or her kiss, but simply having her around when working...

Morgan let out another sad sigh, he knew that Elle needed to recover completely from being shot before coming back for work, but still...

Five days later :

As Morgan entered the bullpen together with the rest of the team after arriving back from Denver, he couldn't stop thinking about Elle, about the fact that he would see her very soon...

Therefore he had to realize that focusing onto his report was getting more and more a difficulty.

The moment he was finally done a bright smile appeared on his face and he hurried to get out of the office.

He was looking so much forward to seeing Elle, he had missed her so incredibly much the last few days even though they had talked on the phone every night.

Now that he was driving to her place he was getting all excited about being with her again. It was a foolish happiness which was currently taking control of him, like he was sixteen all over again, sneaking out at night to meet the girl he had a crush on...

At that thought he couldn't help but chuckle, it was true, that with Elle was something totally special to him, however, it was by far more than just some crush. He really loved her and by now realized that this fact wasn't scaring him anymore...

At Elle's place :

"Hey stranger..." Elle greeted him as she opened the door.

She smiled at him, yet he couldn't help but notice the glimpse of disappointment which appeared for a second in her eyes. But it was gone so fast that Morgan wasn't sure if it had really been there, so he just replied :

"Hey yourself...Can I come in?"

Her smile widened again and she stepped aside to let him in. After closing the door behind him she turned toward him and they locked eyes.

"So, you're back from Denver..." Elle stated the obvious, apparently unsure what else to say.

And there it was again that disappointment and also sadness, not only in her eyes but also in her voice and entire body-language.

"Yeah...Have you hoped for Hotch to come? 'Cause if you did you're gonna be disappointed - he went straight home after getting some important stuff from his office."

Morgan noticed right away that he had spoken these words harsher than he had intended, but he just couldn't help it...If he was honest to himself he wasn't even sure if he really wanted to know if she had hoped for Hotch to stand in front of her door instead of him - but he just needed to know if she really wanted him to be here with her and not Hotch.

Elle looked surprised at him, then her eyes softened and she let her shoulders hang as she told him :

"To be honest - I don't know...I mean, I meant it when I said that what has been between me and Hotch is in the past and also that it was a mistake...But nonetheless I guess, I just hoped he would drop by or call so we could talk..."

"Do you love him?" Morgan forced himself to ask.

"I'm not sure - but I don't think so...After all, he's married, he has a child and furthermore he's our supervisor..." Elle paused for a moment before adding,

"But no matter how I actually feel about him - his company felt good...It felt good not to be alone after what happened." She trailed off once more,

"And he was there, he visited me at the hospital...You didn't..."

"Well, I wanted to visit you, but when I did Hotch yelled at me and practically kicked me out of your room..." Morgan defended himself.

"Why would he do that?" Elle looked at him in disbelief.

"I don't know - and to be honest I don't give a damn about what the reason was. The point is that he hasdone it and I most definitely know better than putting up a fight with Hotch when he's already upset."

"Did you mean what you said the other night? You know, when you said you loved me?" Elle looked him straight into the eyes and he saw the uncertainity in hers.

It took him a moment to reply, too surprised by the sudden change of topic.

"Yeah, I meant it..I love you - always did..."

"Then why did you end it?" Elle demanded to know.

Morgan hesitated for a while, unsure how to tell her.

"Well, you know me - I'm not really the type of guy for a serious relationship...So when I realized that I've fallen for you I simply paniced, I got scared, scared of messing it up. And the fact that we work together and that we're friends for years now made it even worse..." He paused for a moment,

"So I did the same thing I always do - I ran instead of taking the risk that it might not work in the longrun. I just didn't want to lose our friendship if it didn't work."

"Then what made you change your mind now?"

"I dunno...Maybe it's the fact that I almost lost you - or that you kissed me that night, maybe it has to do with what happened between you and Hotch...I really have no clue. All I know is that I wanna give it a try, because I think it's worth it - in fact I'm pretty sure that I know that it is worth it."

By now they had both taken a seat on the couch and as he had finished they locked eyes. A moment later Elle smirked at him and said :

"So, basicly the only reason for changing your mind was the fact that you were jealous at Hotch..."

"Sort of..." Morgan admitted smiling, then he became serious again,

"Why had it to be Hotch, I mean, he's our supervisor and most of all he has a family."

Elle just shrugged instead of answering.

"I mean, you know him...You know that he loves Haley, that he would only hurt you..."

"I didn't care...When he kissed me the first time it just felt so good, so right - even though I knew that it was terribly wrong." Elle looked away from him, unable to stand his intense gaze any longer,

"I was hurt - not only physically but even more emotionally, and he had been there for me." She trailed off and looked finally back at him, a small smile on her lips,

"It made me feel so much better to be with him...However, looking back it only made things worse...He gave me the impression that he cares 'bout me, that it wasn't just some kind of escape from his troubles. But eventually he made clear that it meant nothing. I mean, in the back of my mind I had known it all along, but I didn't want to admit it to myself."

Morgan saw the pain in her eyes and he became more and more angry with Hotch for what he had done. They kept talking for a while before he suggested to get some sleep, she just nodded and they got up, heading for her bedroom.

A few hours later :

When Morgan woke up he wasn't sure what had woken him. Maybe it had been some kind of sound which had disrupted his sleep...Morgan shrugged his shoulders as he sat up a moment later, coming to the conclusion that it didn't matter that much. Another moment passed and he got aware that something was missing.

As he turned his head he saw that Elle was no longer lying next to him. Morgan thought for a few seconds, then he got up to search for Elle.

It only took a minute 'til he noticed that the light in the adjoining bathroom was turned on. The door wasn't closed completely so he simply pushed it softly open.

When he saw Elle standing in front of the sink, staring at her reflection in the mirror, he smiled relieved. But only moment later his smile was replaced by worry as he took a closer look at her...

Only now he realized how red and puffy her eyes were and that tears were streaming down her cheeks, and it took him another few seconds to notice that the fingers of her left hand were absentmindedly sliding through her hair.

Just a moment later he saw Elle lifting her right hand, which was holding a pair of scissors, then she grabbed some of her hair and moved her right hand to cut it.

"Elle don't..." He hurried to say as he realized what she was up to.

Elle froze as she heard his voice and turned her head to look at him.

"Why?" She asked a puzzled expression crossing her face.

Morgan walked up to her, and replied, while taking the scissors out of her trembling hand :

"I just don't understand why you wanna cut your hair."

"I need a change..." Came the blunt response.

"Listen Elle, I can understand that, however it's in the middle of the night and you're hurt because of the recent events and probably also upset...But if you do this right now you will probably regret it tomorrow morning." He paused,

"You should simply wait and think at first for a while about whether you really want this - and if you come to the conclusion that you do, you can still get it cut tomorrow, okay?"

After a moment of thinking Elle started nodding slowly. Morgan put the scissors away and drew her into a tight embrace.

"You should really get some sleep...It's already after three o'clock."

Elle nodded again and they went slowly back to the bedroom. After they had both laid down on the bed, Morgan pulled her close again, giving her a soft kiss.

Tbc

A/N: Hope you liked it! Next chapter is already done - just have to get it on the pc and upload it, so it might take a while...Please take the time to REVIEW!