Nightmares

Edward was silent for a long time.

I lay next to him in the bed, the large duvet wrapped tightly around us both, holding him close to me. The only sound was his slow, deep intake of breath. I understood then how he was able to spend all those nights with me at Charlie's house when I had been human. Just like Reneesme, Edward was a sleeping angel, beautiful and delicate. His sudden stirring was what first alerted me that there was a problem.

Initially, I thought he was waking, but he couldn't be. He'd only been asleep for about half an hour. Rosalie had been out for almost four hours. Never the less, his head tossed softly on the pillow, turning to the right and then back to the left to face me. His eyes were still tightly shut but his eyebrows pulled together slightly making his expression look pained. Was he in pain? I began to panic.

"Edward?" I took his sleeping face softly in my hands. "Edward, it's ok."

His head tossed again against my supporting hands and a murmur escaped his lips that sounded like my name.

"It's ok Edward. I'm here." I reassured him softly.

"Bella," His voice was slightly stronger now and full of panic. "Ged outa ere." His voice was almost a weak growl and extremely slurred. It was very hard to understand.

"Edward, it's ok. Shh..." I reassured him and softly stroked the side of his face with my fingertips trying to calm his tense expression. Suddenly his hand shot out in front of his chest then lightly fell to his side.

"Bella, run, please. Why aren't you running?" His words still ran together as one and I struggled to understand what he was saying. I watched his lips as he tried to form the words. "Bella, PLEASE."

Something was wrong, that much I was certain of but it suddenly dawned on me the Edward was stuck deep inside his self-conscious, in the middle of what seemed like a violent nightmare; scared and very, very breakable. My worst fears were coming true.

I had to do all I could to stop him from being hurt, to stop him from hurting himself. But how? He was trapped inside his mind, seeing and hearing things that I couldn't.

"Edward, please, listen to me. What do you see? Who's trying to hurt you?"I pleaded with him. He struggled again weakly.

"Bella their coming! Please run."

"Who's coming?"

"The Volturi." The words rang in my head, taking my breath away like a punch in the stomach. Even though the way Edward said the words made them sound like 'da voltuwi' it was terrifying just the same.

My head spun, the Volturi were there with Edward, they could do very real damage and I was almost defenceless to help him. If they were out here in the real world I could cover him with my shield, protect him as much as possible but there was no protecting him from his own mind, his imagination. He knew very well the power of the Volturi and it would be counting against him. So I took his advice and used it against him.

"Run Edward! As fast and as far as you can. Now!"

"I... I can't…My legs, they won't move!" This really was a nightmare, in all sense's of the word. "You can…You can run…save yourself."

"Edward listen to me! They can't hurt me, ok. They can't touch me. I'm safe. You need to get away."I pleaded desperately.

"Go! Before..." His head suddenly jerked violently to the right into the pillow. He let out a short gasp of pain.

"Edward!" I screamed. Turning his head back in my hands I saw to my horror a large gash had opened just above his eye. Red blood was already beginning to seep from the wound and down his face. "No!" I couldn't believe what my eyes were telling me. It wasn't possible. Where was the blood coming from? Vampires couldn't bleed, we had no blood. The smell burnt fiercely in my throat, the way my throat blazed whenever I was around Charlie. It was most definitely blood, though I recognised the very faint smell of mountain lion amongst Edward's natural perfume. My mind wheeled with possibilities again but I didn't have a chance to form a good conclusion before Edward was struck again. This time his body arched and cringed. No sound escaped his lips but I watched in horror as his expression contorted and that same grimace of pain I had seen in the Volturi tower twisted his perfect features. The same look of agony that had been caused by...

"Jane! No!" I cried in vain. She was a figment of Edward's imagination, she couldn't hear me. The shock only lasted a few seconds but it felt like an eternity. Eventually his face relaxed and he drew in a sharp, deep breath; then began panting uncontrollably.

"Edward..." I began but I was cut off suddenly by Edward's frantic mumbled cries.

"No! Don't hurt her! Take me, please. Just don't hurt her! NO!" His arms were thrashing wildly but weakly against the bed. I released the grip on his head to restrain them. "Bella. No. Bella." He repeated over and over again. His head flung from side to side smearing blood down his hair and over the pillows.

Then he froze. His arms dropped and he stopped breathing. It was the most terrifying moment of my life. I couldn't breathe or speak. I thought I might die just from the ripping feeling coming from my heart. Why isn't he moving? Why isn't he breathing? For one terrifying moment my world stopped. It was then that I noticed the wetness under his eyes. He was crying. They were real tears, I could smell the salt in them. Like the blood coming from his forehead they streamed down his face and soaked the pillow below him. I stared at the dampness on his face completely confused. Then something Carlisle said rung in my ears. 'One minute she was perfectly normal and the next she starts complaining of being tired, yawning and looking very... human.' At this moment, in Edward's sleep, he was human again. It made so much sense. He was sleeping, weak, breakable, he cried, he bled...he was human. I released my grip on his arms quickly. Pulling away, I stared in horror at the deep purple bruises that had already begun to form on his wrists. I had hurt him.

My insides twisted and I suddenly understood how he had felt that first night of our honeymoon, I felt sick, I hated myself. Disgust coursed through me but my self-loathing was interrupted when his breath came back to him. It came back to him fast. He began hyperventilating; loud, violent sobs erupted from his chest. I ran my hand very, very delicately through his hair trying to calm him. I didn't bother to speak, his tears were too loud, he wouldn't have heard me. His sobs changed then, they became words, one word, "No." He cried it over and over again and the tears continued to fall from his eyes. I moved my hand from his hair to his face running it over his wet cheeks, his forehead and his eyes. What happened? Had something happened to me in his dream? That seemed like the most likely explanation considering his reaction. Had I been hurt? Or killed? I thought franticly. That's when he spoke again.

"Take me too." He whispered through his tears. Then it was my turn to stop breathing. My body tensed, becoming rigid with fear. Was I hearing right? I listened intently as he spoke again, his slurred voice still barely louder than a whisper.

"Please, take me too. I don't want to live anymore." The words hit me hard, like a bulldozer. Like a million bulldozers.

That confirmed it. I had been killed, and very shortly he would be too. Only his death was real, and permanent. I struggled to breathe, to be able to draw in enough breath to be able to plead with him but my body simply wouldn't function. "Please... Please... Please..." He continued to beg slowly, his voice becoming more and more desperate. My eyes saw nothing but the look of pain in his face and my breath came back to me in one large sharp intake.

"No, Edward, no." I was suddenly demanding him. When I began to speak it was his turn to stop breathing, his body became rigid. He could hear me that was good. "Edward, no." Was all I was able to say. Then he began to sob even louder, throwing his hands to his head as if to shut out my voice.

"Please. Don't leave me here alive. Please." He yelled, but not to me. He was pleading with the Volturi in his head. "Please don't leave. I don't want to live." His voice was distant, defeated. Were they leaving? God I hoped they were leaving.

"Edward I'm here." I pleaded. His whole body flinched at the sound of my voice but I continued. "They can't hurt me Edward. I told you they can't hurt me." He sobbed loudly again for a long moment but did not speak. I guessed he was trying to work out if what he was hearing was true, if my voice was real and not just in his head.

"I don't want to live without you." He whispered after a long heart wrenching silence. He still thought I was dead and my voice was all in his head but he was going to talk back anyway. That was good, I would make him listen - I had to.

"And I don't want to live without you so please, don't do this."

He hesitated before speaking again, "You're my life Bella. I can't live without you...I won't."

"Don't!" My voice was hard. To hear him speak like that made my heart tear like a thousand claws were ripping it to pieces. I couldn't live without him either; there are no words to describe the pain, the anguish that would cause me. "I'm not dead, Edward. Please listen to me."I pleaded again.

"Why is this happening to me?" He cried, bringing up his hands to cradle his head again. I could tell by the tone of his voice that this question was not directed at me but at himself. He still didn't believe that my voice was real and not all in his head so I tried again.

"I told you the Volturi couldn't hurt me. I'm fine. And I'm most certainly not dead. Please Edward, you have to believe me! I love you and I would never leave you."

His expression changed, like he was fighting something. A feeling or a thought, I was sure I knew what it was, I to had once fought against this emotion.

It was hope.

He was certain that I was dead and when this thought was confirmed and my voice drifted away, he didn't want to be stuck with the disappointment, the agony and the emptiness of that false hope.

I brought my hand back to his face, subconsciously wanting to smooth out the worry and pain from his expression but he flinched away from my touch and groaned.

"I watched you die. This isn't real. This isn't real."He shook his head lightly from side to side trying to dispel my pleading voice.

"Your right, this isn't real, but I am. You have to believe me. I love you."

"I love you so, so much." The sobs in his chest had relaxed slightly as he had been speaking but they returned then, stronger than ever. "Already I'm going insane without you. I don't want to live without you."

"You're not insane. You have to believe me. I'm really here, right beside you." I touched his face again. Once more he flinched away but not as much as before and this time I didn't pull away either. I wiped the tears from below his eyes and held his face gently. He was still sobbing quietly.

"I saw...they..." He debated with himself, unable to finish his slurred sentences. "You can't be real."

"I promise to you that I am here and this is real. When you saw the Volturi hurt me, that wasn't real. I'm not dead. If my time around vampires and werewolves has taught me anything it's to believe the unbelievable. I told you I would never leave you."

He struggled with this for a moment. "But you told me to run...and the pain...that was definitely real. You can't be here, you can't. I wish with all my heart you were but you can't be."The pain in his weak voice was almost unbearable. I wanted more than anything to take that pain away. He didn't deserve to be feeling so hurt.

"They were real to you. They could hurt you but the Volturi can't hurt me. I promise I will explain everything soon. You just have to believe me first. Promise me you won't go and do anything crazy. That you won't hurt yourself, please Edward. Promise me." I begged again

"I can't live without you Bella. I can hear and feel you here with me but I know you're not really here. This isn't real. You died." His fingers curled loosely around mine but he continued to sob and the tears continued to fall from under his lashes.

"I am real, I promise you I am. I will explain everything. I just need to know that you are safe. That you won't hurt yourself. Promise me." I squeezed his hand with the lightest of pressures, careful not to hurt him. I would never hurt him again.

"I...I don't understand. How is this happening? Bella, I watched you die."By the end his voice was no more than a strained whisper. I knew I had to explain but how? How do I tell a person who can't wake up that their asleep without freaking them out completely? He obviously hadn't kept his knowledge of the situation from before he had fallen asleep.

"Edward. What you saw, it wasn't real. Where you are now isn't real. I don't really understand it myself but I know that you will see me again soon and then you'll understand. I just need you to promise. I need to know that you are safe. I give you my word that I'm ok, that you will see me soon."

"How can this be right? I don't understand Bella. Where are you?"

"Promise me!"My voice was so full of desperation it shook.

"I... I promise..."I felt the pressure of his hand on mine tighten minutely.

"Thank you. I know you're scared but everything will be ok. You have to believe that. You're asleep Edward. This is all a dream. You will wake up soon, I promise. You just have to be... patient. I won't leave you I promise."

"Asleep?" He breathed. He was confused, so was I. He couldn't understand that he was asleep, even though he knew before he fell asleep what was happening. It didn't make any sense. Well I could worry about that later, when he was awake and could help me make sense of all this. I continued with my explanation.

"Like I said I can't really explain it properly. I'm not really there. I'm a part of your dream and I can't get hurt but you can. The cut on your head and the bruises on your wrists..." My voice was heavy when I mentioned his wrists. Disgust stabbed at me again. "...those are both real. You can get hurt so I need you to be safe. You haven't lost me and I don't want to lose you."

"I want to wake up, why…" He was beginning to believe me. That was good.

"This isn't a proper dream. You will wake up - soon, Edward. I won't leave you."

"What if I never see you again."Another tear rolled down his cheek as he spoke.

"You will wake up. I promise that you will."

"Stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here until you wake up." I bent my head down and touched my lips softly to his.

"You feel so cold." I was only slightly surprised by this.

"I guess I feel to you like a vampire would to a human. When you're asleep you're very human. That's why you're able to get hurt, why you're able to cry and bleed." His hand moved slowly to his face then fell sleepily onto his cheek.

"I'm crying." He asked sleepily. I laughed. "What happens now?"Fear still rippled through his tone.

"I'm not sure." I admitted. "I guess we just wait it out together."

"You won't leave?" Fear stabbed through his voice again.

"Never. I don't think I could. You scared me to death. I thought I was about to lose you forever."

"I just watched you die remember." He shuddered heavily.

"Hmm true. Point taken, you win." I lay my head down on his shoulder and stroked the side of his face with my hand. The minutes passed in silence and I continued to trace the lines of his face with my fingers.

"Bella?" He mumbled sleepily, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"I need to hear your voice."

"Don't worry I'm not leaving."I reassured him.

"I wish you were here with me." He sighed; his voice was almost inaudible now, even for my perfect hearing.

"I know. I wish we were together properly too, even though I can still hold you in my arms. We will be soon, don't worry." I kissed his cheek lightly and held him tightly for a long time, as tight as I dared because I was terrified of hurting him. Every now and then I would speak or kiss him gently on the forehead or cheek. The hours passed slowly and I watched the sun begin to rise through the trees and spread throughout the room. When it was still very early morning I left Edward briefly to call Jacob. He was more than willing to make the trip over to look after Reneesme while I looked after Edward. A part of me wondered if there wasn't something important he should be doing today, even though he said there wasn't, I didn't believe him entirely. This time I didn't care. I wanted Edward to have my total undivided attention, he deserved that much. I couldn't leave him terrified in his own thoughts. I returned to his side quickly after speaking to Jacob, having only left for what I estimated to be fifty three seconds. I had been very short with Jacob.

When I returned I touched Edward's arm softly and he called my name sleepily. The panic in his tone was obvious but so was the relief.

It was several hours more before he started to become unresponsive. When we would speak his voice would be so distant I could barely understand at all, and then eventually he stopped responding entirely. I was petrified but guessed that he would be waking shortly. It only took several minutes before he started to stir. We were both lying on our sides, our faces only centimetres apart. My arms wrapped firmly around his back under the covers. I had used the pillowcase to wipe the blood from his face but it still stained his hair and pillow heavily.

His eyes opened very slowly at first, then he blinked rapidly to disperse the sleep. I leaned my head forward and kissed his forehead lightly as he had done for me so many times.

"Bella." He mumbled softly, clearly still drowsy.

"Good morning. Sleep well did you?" I mocked. Surprised at how easily I could joke about something so very not funny. He smiled wearily anyway.

"Thank you Bella."

"Just doing my job." I joked again, "but don't you ever do that to me again." I told him sternly and ran my fingers down the side of his face where his tears had fallen.

"You really think you can get rid of me that easily. I'm here forever whether you like it or not." He teased and an uncontrollable smile spread across my lips. I liked that thought very much. "It's so good to see your face again, better than you can ever imagine. Hearing your voice was the only thing that kept me alive last night." He continued. He too was stroking my face with his fingertips. The contact of his fingers on my skin sending tingles through me, as if he was running electric pulses through my thousands of nerve endings. My unparalleled desire as a newborn took over very quickly and I reached my hand around the back of his neck, pulling his face towards mine and kissed him gently. He kissed me back equally as tenderly his lips pushing lightly against mine. My fingers knotted themselves in his hair pulling him closer to me as his hands explored my neck and shoulders. I was glad that his strength had returned to him, I didn't think I had enough self control to not be able to hurt him again as my craving got the best of me. After a few minutes the desire to be as close to him as possible was overpowering and I pushed myself on top of him, rolling him softly onto his back and crushing my body closer to his.

His hands slowly moved down, he was pulling my shirt up at the back and running them over my skin, sending tingles up my spine. The passion in our kiss built and our mouths moved faster against each other's, his lips pressing harder against mine.

When his mouth stopped moving abruptly I pulled back slowly, just enough to be able to stare him in the eyes looking confused. His breath blew into my face gently making my perfect balance waver somewhat.

"Where's Reneesme?" He asked slightly breathlessly.

I laughed lightly, ignoring his shocked expression as I did so and bent my head down so my lips were at his neck. "With Jacob." I said, kissing his soft skin with my words and then pushing my lips softly under his jaw.

"Oh." Was all he said. I kissed a soft line across his throat to the left side of his neck. After a few seconds his hands returned to caressing my lower back, pushing their way higher and higher.

I moved my lips down his neck to his collarbone letting my hair slide softly over his skin. One of his hands moved slowly up my side, across the side of my breast and up my neck, catching my jaw lightly in his palm. He guided my face softly up to meet his and kissed me passionately.

The next second I was on my back, his body pushing against mine. Our mouths were locked together and moving quickly and roughly. Edward's shirt ripped loudly under my fingers and although the act was unintentional, I continued to pull on the weak material turning his shirt to shreds and throwing it onto the floor. My hands moved quickly over his warm skin, feeling every muscle on his back as they tightened and relaxed. His belt was my next target. I gripped the back of it tightly in my hand, tearing it easily in two and then disposing it on the floor with his shirt. It was obvious what I was doing and Edward decided it was my turn to lose some clothing. He pushed his hand under my tight shirt, up my side and over my ribs cradling his hand just under my shoulder blade. He pushed his arm away from my side until the seams of my tight shirt ripped over his arm and he moved onto the other side, repeating his actions. Shortly, my shirt too disappeared leaving his soft, warm skin against mine. Our heavy breathing caused my body to move up and down slightly against his, our skin felt like silk against each other's. Edward slowly positioned himself higher on me so that his mouth was pushing down against mine and my head sunk into the soft pillows. It was almost impossible to concentrate on what I wanted my hands to do with Edward kissing me so passionately but after a few struggling attempts his pants vanished from his skin and piled, ripped and torn, on the floor beside his shirt and belt. His mouth left mine but his lips never left my skin. He kissed every inch of my skin, my neck, my shoulders, my chest and all the way down my stomach. My breathing became almost uncontrollable gasping that made my chest rise and fall heavily. This seemed to encourage Edward greatly and within seconds all traces of clothing had disappeared from both of our bodies and we were pressed together as one. For the next few hours nothing in the world existed except Edward. My mind was too unwilling to think of anything else but I doubted whether I would have been able to if I tried. It wasn't until the sun was high in the sky and beaming brightly that my thoughts wandered back to Reneesme, Jacob and the rest of the Cullen's. I sighed and lay in Edwards's arms, holding him tightly, my head rested under his chin and my fingers tracing the contours of his sculpted chest.

"I wonder where Jacob and Reneesme are." I thought aloud.

"Hmmmm..." Edward replied, obviously deep in thought. His fingers caressed softly up and down my back. "I should check in with Carlisle too. My experience could be helpful for him."

I sighed again and reluctantly lifted my body from his. Getting to my feet, I stared at Edward for a few moments, his perfect naked body sparkling in the midday sun. I reluctantly tore my eyes away from him and walked to the closet that I already knew Alice had well stocked, I was not disappointed. The closet was deceptively large, rows and rows of hangers lined the walls and each was stacked tightly. Much like the closet in my cottage in Forks that Alice had prepared for me. It took me a while to find some appropriate clothes to wear, shifting through strings of silk, satin and chiffon. When I had finally dressed myself I returned to the bedroom to where Edward sat, fully dressed on the edge of the bed. He was talking quickly to the small cellphone at his ear, his tone was not concerned or alarmed so I ignored his conversation and turned to gaze out the large bay window. I listened intently past the sound of Edward's conversation behind me until I found the drumming of running paws on broken twigs and the shrieks of excitement that I recognised instantly as Reneesme's stunning voice. They were moving fast through the forest to the west of the house drawing closer. I waited for a few minutes until the figure of a huge wolf appeared at the edge of the lawn, Reneesme sitting securely between his large shoulders with her fingers grabbing softly to large chunks of fur at the back of his neck. Edward's conversation had drawn to a close and he suddenly appeared behind me, bringing his arms around my waist and pulling me gently towards him. We watched together as Jacob slowed to a trot as he crossed the large lawn to the back of the house.

"Come on." Edward urged as he dropped his arms and took my hand towing me quickly out of the room and down the stairs to the entryway. The house looked very different during the day. The marble tiles and stunning white walls gleamed brightly with the sunlight that filtered in from every direction through the broad windows. Edward led me through the large lounge room to the set of double doors on the far side. A great black marble kitchen stretched out in front of me. The pitch-black cupboards and bench lined the white tiled walls and curved around to form an incomplete square. The kitchen was full of appliances, all state of the art, most of them black. The shiny metal and untouched plastic coatings sent a strong scent into the air, like new car mixed with polystyrene. To the right of the kitchen sat a large square oak table surrounded by high-backed wooden chairs. A bunch of freshly cut white roses stood in a tall vase in the centre of the table, the aroma was amazing.

At the back of the room were large glass French doors, we arrived in time to see Jacob, now human and clothed only in a pair of loose running shorts, stride forward and pull Reneesme gently from his shoulders. He set her down delicately on the small deck that stuck out from the doors, she turned and reached her hand up towards Jacob bouncing up and down slightly on her toes. Knowing what she wanted Jacob leaned down and let Reneesme lay her small hand over his cheek. He closed his eyes and a few seconds later she pulled her hand away. Jacob smiled and kissed her quickly on her forehead before she turned and skipped gracefully towards the door. Edward had already crossed the room by the time Reneesme reached the door. He scooped her up into his arms and she proceeded to show him all the events of the day. He laughed loudly as Jacob entered the room behind Reneesme. He looked slightly annoyed for a moment, then he brought his hand up to the side of his head and rubbed it tenderly.

"Yeah, that one hurt." He told Edward. "The kids got a good arm, that's for sure, nearly fractured my skull." He walked in past Edward and slumped down into one of the dining chairs still rubbing his head slowly.

"Thanks so much for taking her on such late notice, Jacob. We had a sort of emergency." I explained. I hadn't been able to give details about the situation to him when he had arrived to get Reneesme. I hadn't wanted to leave Edward, for obvious reasons.

"Yeah, no prob." He answered happily but his expression turned immediately to concern, "You got everything sorted out now?"

"Um... well I think so, for now anyway." I told him, his question got me thinking again about what had caused Edward and Rosalie to fall asleep.

"So what was wrong anyway?" He asked, interrupting my thoughts. "Nothing bad I hope."

I opened my mouth to speak but Edward answered first. "I think Bella's slightly wrong in her assessment; I don't believe that we are safe at the moment. You see last night something caused both Rosalie and I to fall asleep. As you know we don't sleep, more to the point we can't sleep and not even Carlisle has heard of this happening before."

Jacob's jaw had dropped slightly as Edward spoke "Hell. That's some crazy stuff! And you have no idea why it happened?" His voice was shocked as he looked towards Edward for more answers.

"At this point we have no idea, it's very strange. Even stranger is that we were extremely venerable in our unconscious states. It seems we can come to harm inside our subconscious and the harm is manifested onto our physical bodies." He lifted one hand from around Reneesme and brushed his hair aside to reveal the deep purple bruise and substantial cut on his forehead.

Jacob made a confused face at Edward's injury then swore quietly under his breath. "That's messed up."

Reneesme moved her hand upwards and stroked the side of Edwards face sympathetically her eyes were glued to the cut under Edwards fringe.

"Daddy's going to be ok." He assured her, and kissed her forehead lightly. She seemed unconvinced however by Edwards reassuring words and turned her face into his chest, pulling her small arms around to hug him. He rubbed her back gently and placed his cheek on the top of her head.

I stood quietly in the entranceway between the benches in the kitchen my eyes fixated on Edward and Reneesme embracing in the sunlight that beamed in through the French doors. They were like a picture from a fairytale, two angels holding each other lovingly and shimmering brightly in the sun's golden rays. The sound of Jacobs stomach growling impatiently suddenly interrupted my thoughts. He brought his hand up to pat his flat stomach and laughed embarrassedly.

Reneesme giggled into Edwards chest too as he raised his head from hers and turned to Jacob. "The kitchen's well stocked, feel free to help yourself." Jacob didn't need to be told twice. He was halfway to the fridge before Edward had even finished his sentence.