A/N: Hey guys, thanks to everyone who took the time to read this, and I am soo very sorry it's taken so long. I put off updating until I could get a beta to look over the next few chapters and sort out what needs to be fixed. Unfortuanely, I've been through 3 different Beta's in the last 2 months. Each one has had to give up due to circumstances out of thier control. (If one of you are reading this - thanks so much for you're help so far, it really was appreciated.) Anyway, I promise that updates will come a lot faster once I get a solid Beta, but for now I'll do the best I can. One more thing - thank you so much for all those people who took the time to review on the last 3 chapters. You really have no idea how much a good review can motivate a writer. So for everyone reading this now please please please review once you've finished. Even if it is just to say that the story sucks and i should stop writing, because if you don't tell me then I'll never know.

Dartmouth

It didn't take long for Carlisle to cross the path of the new scent.

Edward and I had only been searching for less than a minute when he suddenly drew to a halt.

"Carlisle has found something," He told me, gazing to the east in the direction that Carlisle thoughts must have been coming from. His brow furrowed slightly. "The trail is quite close to the house."

The knot in my stomach tightened again. "Vampire?" I asked him in a weak voice that was barely an audible whisper.

He simply nodded his head once, his attention still drawn in the direction of Carlisle's voice. I hated it when I was right.

I moved to position myself in the only place I felt safe, Edward's arms. I put my head into his chest, wanting to block out the rest of the world.

"We are going to be ok," Edward tried to reassure me, but I heard no strength in his voice. No conviction. He was just as afraid as I was. I didn't want to look into his eyes, knowing that I wouldn't be able to find the reassurance there that I needed.

It took only a few minutes for Jacob to confirm - through Edward - to the rest of the group that the scent Embry had found a few miles from the boundary around the reservation was in fact the same as the one that Carlisle and Emmet had located.

"What do we do now?" Alice asked, as her and Jasper joined the rest of the family around the point where the scent came nearest to our house, only a few hundred metres from the western end of the large garden that surrounded the building.

"He was just out of my range," Edward informed us all with darkness in his eyes while taking another deep, unnecessary breath in. After seeing my puzzled expression he added. "For an unfamiliar voice my range is more limited. He would have been just out of ear shot for me to notice his thoughts if I wasn't trying to find them." He reminded me, misreading my confusion.

"Surely that's just coincidence?" Jasper said, a little knocked back.

"It's possible," Edward said unbelievingly.

"Wait," I interrupted. "You said he?"

Edward's face turned to mine blankly for a moment, before breaking into a soft, breath taking smile of total adoration. His eyes held tenderly to mine. "Sometimes I forget how new you are to all of this," he said, running his hand gently down my cheek. "It will take time before you are able to distinguish the subtle difference between a male and female scent."

I inhaled deeply, letting the scent fill my head. It had the sweet base, the same way ever vampire smelt but had an underlay of something old, almost musty. Perhaps it was just the smell of the clothing he had been wearing at the time, I thought to myself. There were other tones to the scent, tones I didn't recognise, smells I had never experienced before. Perhaps one of these was the distinguishing feature between the sexes. The smell of testosterone maybe, not that I had any idea what testosterone smelt like. I imagined sweat and aftershave but knew this was just a stereotype. I made a mental note to find out.

"I don't think that there is much that we can do at this point," Carlisle stated, answering Alice's original question and interrupting my thoughts.

"Surely we should search the area. Follow the scent and track him down," Jasper argued, a flare of excitement burned in his eyes.

"No," Carlisle answered sternly, placing his hand on Jasper's shoulder. "Bella was right before. The little we do know about this vampire's abilities shows us that he is a threat, one not to be taken lightly. Until we are able to acquire more information about him, I believe we should definitely be keeping our distance. For all we know he may have just stumbled upon us and has already moved on. In that case, cornering him could be a very dangerous move."

"But he followed us back to Forks. Surely that would mean we weren't just a stopover on his around the world trip," Emmet added sarcastically, always unopposed to the option that most suggested a fight.

"A problem that we should certainly keep in consideration. I'm not suggesting that we forget this ever happened, quite the contrary. But we must be intelligent about this. There's no use in rushing off and getting ourselves in unnecessary danger," Carlisle said in the authoritive tone that only he could manage. "You of all people should understand the implications of this vampire's ability and the damage he is possible of," he continued, gesturing towards Rosalie.

I pulled my body closer to Edward's side. I knew.

Emmet was immediately silenced, his eyes pulled in the direction of the house where Rosalie was when he thought no one was watching. It was just like him to consider this as a sign of weakness - showing concern for the one he loved. I shook my head slowly in amusement.

"What is it?" Edward asked, noticing my gesture.

"Ah, nothing. Maybe we should get back to the house. You know – and fill in Esme and Rosalie." I offered, letting Emmet off the hook. I gave him a subtle wink as we all turned and moved back out of the forest.

The next few days were largely uneventful. Jacob visited quite frequently, bringing Seth along with him because I wouldn't let him travel alone. Much to Rosalie's disgust, who had been hoping that Jake would be too frightened to leave the reservation. Carlisle was keeping himself busy with constant research, trying to find out everything and anything he could about our new vampire foe, though to no avail. He hit dead end after dead end.

"It's hard to keep tabs on a vampire," he explained to me one day, "most are just drifters, some are completely unknown – even to the Volturi – so any kind of information could be impossible to find." I tried to keep my distance from Carlisle, any form of reminder about the new threat to my family triggered the violent knotting sensation in the pit of my stomach.

When the rest of the family had arrived it had been less than seventy two hours since Edward, Reneesme and I had left Forks but Alice still insisted on spending every available moment with the three of us. Unfortunately the only activity she was really keen on was shopping.

"Alice, if you fill our closets anymore then we're going to have to get a bigger place!" I argued, but she was having none of it.

"Come on Bella! It's so much colder up here than it is in Forks. You want to blend in don't you?"

That got to me. Orientation week for Dartmouth was starting in only two days and I was as nervous as hell. I guess everyone is nervous before their first day at college, but my fears ran deeper than your normal everyday college student.

Blending in was something I most definitely wanted to do. I feared that the first few weeks were going to be hard enough as it is without the added pressure of prying eyes.

After my change I had been around humans quite a lot, but never more than one or two at a time – usually Charlie, Sue or Billie – and never for large amounts of time. Despite my strange ability at restraint I was always incredibly cautious - if I was to slip, even for a second, the results could be disastrous and people I truly loved could die. I couldn't help but wonder if I would be able to have the same restraint with total strangers. Could I be so controlled for so long with people that meant nothing to me? I had always taken extra precautions when I was around Charlie and the others; limiting my breathing, taking constant toilet breaks for fresh air, leaving as much space between me and them as possible unless absolutely necessary. But my options would be limited at Dartmouth. Crowded hallways and lecture halls would be a daily occurrence. I would be dealing with thousands of enticing heartbeats and delicious scents surrounding me for hours a day without release.

The thought sent venom flowing relentlessly in my mouth. I swallowed hard to dispel the taste and brought my hand up to cool the deep painful burning in my throat.

"What's wrong Bella?" Edward's alarmed voice came from above me. I realised that my entire body had become rigid, every muscle tightened and defensive. My jaw had clamped together and my breathing had stopped.

His hands were moving up and down my arms, attempting to loosen my stiff pose. I made a large conscious effort to make myself breathe again; the cool air dulled the fire a little - but not much.

I lifted my eyes to meet Edwards, they were wide and worried. I knew how mine would look – dark and raging. I closed them, not wanting him to see my moment of weakness. I took another deep breath to calm myself before opening my eyes again. His were still probing.

"I'm sorry, it's nothing," I reassured him. "Really." I added, when his face told me that he didn't believe me.

"Bella…" He said sternly. He didn't need to finish his sentence; I already knew what he was going to say. He hated it when I kept my thoughts from him.

"Uh… maybe we can just go shopping later or tomorrow or something," Alice said before retreating hastily from the room. For a moment I almost stopped her. At that point I could have done with a happy premonition of my first day at Dartmouth, just to put my mind at ease a tiny bit.

Edward waited until he heard her light footsteps disappear out the back door in the dining room before catching me around the waist and pulling me onto his lap as he sat on the large grey sofa.

"Bella please, tell me what you're thinking," he pleaded as he moved his hand down my cheek and cupped my face, pulling it towards his so that he could look into my eyes again.

"It's just that I'm a little nervous - about Monday. Really it's nothing," I told him again, making my voice strong and convincing.

"Bella love," his voice was soft and comforting. "If you're not ready, we can wait. You don't have to rush this."

"No, I'm just being pathetic." I shook my head softly. "Eventually I'm going to have to get on with my life. I can't keep putting this off. Sooner or later I'm going to have to stop running away and face up."

He kissed my forehead quickly before drawing back again. "You are not being pathetic," he told me, sternly again. "You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, stronger than most vampires will ever be. Never forget that."

He bent down and kissed me tenderly. It helped. I concentrated on his lips moving on mine. I tried to let him kiss away my worry.

Only when he drew back the spell was broken and the knot returned.

"Besides, I'll be with you every moment. I won't let anything happen to you," He said before kissing the tip of my nose.

"It's not me getting hurt that I'm worried about."

"If it becomes too much for you at any point then we can leave, you don't have to feel obligated."

"Thank you," I sighed, laying my head on his shoulder.

My thoughts returned to Dartmouth. Psychology was always a subject I had been interested in studying, even before I met Edward. Luckily for me it was one of the few subjects that Edward hadn't gotten around to getting a degree in yet – which I found strange, considering he had more of an advantage in the mind department than any other person in the world. Still it was something we could both do together, as a couple. I had also chosen a few English Literature papers to fill in spaces in my timetable. Edward had laughed when I had done this. According to him it had been a very obvious choice, one he found quite amusing.

"Can we talk about something else?" I whispered into his shoulder.

"Of course, what would you like to talk about?" He said, sort of detached as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"I don't know anything besides Monday…or the other thing," I said, enjoying his touch.

It seemed like he read my mind because the next instant his head bent down and his hand cradled my face.

"How about this?"He whispered; his lips only millimetres from mine. His breath blew around my face, I breathed it in heavily.

He lingered for a moment, teasing me. I shivered in anticipation. When our lips did finally touch it was with the lightest of pressures and then he drew back ever so slightly again. I pushed my face towards his seeking him, but he only allowed the kiss to last for a second before pulling back again. My hands gripped the back of his neck as I tried to pull him into me. He taunted me again by planting three very quick light kisses on my lips but pulled away, keeping his lips just separate from mine.

A low growl built in my chest, he chuckled softly in response.

I brought my hands up from his neck and tangled them deep in his hair, then using all the strength I had I pulled his mouth to mine and pushed him onto his back on the sofa. He put up no fight, but instead kissed me back with all of the passion and desire that I kissed him with. His hands ran down my neck and over my shoulders pulling me closer to him. Our mouths parted and his soft tongue met mine.

For once it was me who ended the kiss. I didn't want to, the moments before I did it seemed like I wouldn't be able to. But somewhere I found the strength. When I did pull away Edward simply moved his lips to my throat, almost breaking my resolve once again.

"Edward," I panted. "The family…Reneesme…" I managed to gasp out. Only the deep embarrassment I would feel if we got walked in on gave me will to stop.

His lips hesitated at my shoulder and he sighed heavily. I could almost sense his eyes rolling in his head. "Too much self-control," He complained to my skin before laying his head back against the cushion.

I gazed at the amazing man below me in disbelief for a few moments before the almost overwhelming desire to kiss him again nearly took over, his body teased me with the most exquisite type of torture. I ripped my eyes away from his and lay my head on his chest and listened to his heavy breathing gradually slow, running my hand across the perfect plains of his chest.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I know," I replied.

If my heart had still been beating it would have been pounding at a hundred miles an hour. I tried not to let the nervousness show on my face as I watched the movement from out of the windscreen, but I knew Edward would sense it anyway. I kept my eyes away from his as I surveyed the scenery. Hundreds of students flowed in and out of the entrance ways into the campus. Dartmouth is the smallest of all the Ivy League schools, with a roll of only 5,848, but that was still more than the entire population of Forks all condensed into 269 acres of campus. They didn't move in groups like I was used to at high school. Instead the crowd was mainly pairs and singles that formed a steady and unrelenting stream of human bodies.

Edward's hand gripped mine lightly and without being conscious of the movement I met his eyes as they probed mine silently.

I took in a deep breath of the clean air inside the car. "Ok, let's get this over with," I said bravely forcing a smile.

Moving at human speed Edward stepped slowly out of the car and made his way around to my door. I noticed a few passersby lift their heads at the sight of him. One petite girl with fiery red hair actually stopped in her tracks and stared; I smiled to myself as I remembered the first time I had laid eyes on Edward's glorious face.

"Can I take your books Mrs Cullen?" Edward's brilliant voice came from beside me as he opened my door for me.

I took his hand as he pulled me out of the car and into his arms, gathering my text books under his arm. I waited a moment before inhaling deeply again. His smell was just as enticing as ever, it filled my head as other mouth watering scents burned their way down my throat. I swallowed, trying to suppress the fire, but it only dulled it minutely. I felt Edward's soft lips on my forehead. They lingered there for a long time and when he pulled back I saw dazzling smile spread broadly across his face.

"What?" I asked when my brain was able to comprehend words once more.

He leant downwards again to rest his forehead on mine this time.

"They're all incredibly jealous of me right now," he told me, the smile was evident even in his voice. I smiled too, thinking of the small girl with the red hair who was probably still frozen to the spot staring. I was the one to be envious of.

I stretched up on my toes and kissed him quickly. He caught my left hand securely in his, gently stroking my ring with his finger.

"We're going to be late you know," he laughed.

I nodded to his chest before turning to face the entranceway of the 1820s Colonial style Wentworth building. I had already memorised the floor plan of the entire campus, learning the quickest path between my lectures as well as escape routes, just in case. What I hadn't been prepared for was how much attention we were drawing. I had expected people to stare, but not this much. More than one person had stopped in their tracks now, when their gaze had fallen upon us. I noticed in particular the red haired girl look down uncomfortably as our eyes met and her foot shuffled uncomfortably with a stone that lay at her feet. I flashed her a sympathetic smile as we passed, remembering that I had once been in her position – awe struck by vampire beauty.

Unfortunately, the entranceway Edward and I had to take looked like it was the busiest. I was suddenly glad for the cold day; I pulled the long sleeves of my jacket down to cover my hands in case anyone happened to touch my skin while we were making our way inside. I took one more deep breath in then stopped breathing completely. At least I didn't have to worry about concentrating on moving at human speed, as the crowds were almost shoulder to shoulder as we entered the first corridor. Edward's arm wrapped protectively around my waist as we joined the slow moving flow of rush hour traffic. With everyone packed in so tightly no one seemed to notice us as much, which was good as it made me feel even more nervous when I could feel their gaze on me.

Our first lecture – Psyc 101 – was on the second floor in the Wentworth building, and as expected most students chose the elevators rather than stairs option which meant more breathing room as we slowly climbed the staircase.

"How are you feeling?" Edward asked as we were halfway up the first flight.

"So far so good," I answered truthfully. The noisy corridors had muffled the alluring sounds of heartbeats and as long as I fought the temptation to breath it was easier to ignore the soft pulse running through warm skin only centimetres away from my own. The fire still raged in my throat but it was endurable.

When we reached the door to our first lecture theatre the crowds had thinned quite a lot but it looked and sounded like Psyc 101 was quite a popular subject. We entered from the top left entrance and quickly chose a seat in the empty back row. The room was divided into three large seating lines, each line held eighteen rows that were around ten seats wide. They were divided by two large staircased aisles that ran up from the front stage to the back entrances where we sat. There were also two more entrances at the bottom of the staircases that seemed like the more popular entrance point. Eventually the flocks of students entering the room subsided but our row remained empty. Only two people occupied the row in front of us, two boys who looked as though they had both suffered a very sleepless night, or were both recovering from an illness. One of them leaned sleepily against the wall while the other looked as though he might actually have been asleep with his head rested on the table, only his shaky breathing gave him away. I took the calculated risk and inhaled again, testing myself. The familiar burn flared again, only this time it didn't blaze so strongly. Mixed in with the delicious scent of human blood was the abrasive unnatural sting of ethanol. My face curled up in response, the smell of alcohol infused blood was anything but enticing.

I heard Edward laugh lightly beside me and suddenly his lips were at my ear.

"I'm willing to bet he never considered that getting drunk last night would greatly decrease his chances of being eaten today," he chuckled. I looked back at the dark haired boy who was leaning against the wall. At this point I don't think he would have minded being killed so much, he looked like hell. His face was pale, almost green and he held his head gingerly as though he was trying to stop the pounding. Almost on queue his breathing quickened and his other hand wrapped tightly around his stomach. I was very surprised he had managed to get out of bed at all that morning.

"Perhaps I should have considered turning up drunk to my first day at school in Forks. Things might have gone a lot smoother," I said in the most serious voice I could manage. Edward peered at me with bulging eyes; a look of absolute shock planted itself on his beautiful face. I couldn't help but laugh this time.

Only once had I ever experimented with alcohol, back in Phoenix. My best friend at the time, Hayley, and I had found an open vodka bottle in her kitchen cabinet. After a large amount of peer pressure by Hayley, she and I had finished off almost half the bottle. We were still on our last drinks when her parents came home early and caught us, an act which had ended in me being grounded until I was thirty by my almost hysterical mother. To top it off I had fallen over, ripping my favourite pair of jeans and cutting up my knee, proving that intoxication should be avoided like the plague by the already uncoordinated. Needless to say, I had never felt the need to drink again.

Edward shook his head softly and rolled his eyes as I continued to laugh to myself. Shortly after, the lecturer cleared his throat over the small microphone he had clipped to the front of his shirt bringing silence over the students.

The rest of the hour was a piece of cake. After the initial introduction stage was over the lecturer talked for the rest of the time about the founding members of psychology, occasionally pointing to a slide on the projector screen or referring to a chapter in our text books. A few times he would ask a question to someone in the audience, but with the large amount of people in the theatre his attention never fell directly onto Edward or me.

I watched as the other students scribbled profusely on their notepads, copying diagrams or page references. I had no need for notes as I would easily be able to remember every word of the lecture, so instead I sat back in my seat listening lazily to the lecturer's loud voice and enjoying Edward touch as his fingertips weaved patterns around my hand and ring.

I was almost sad to leave when the hour was up, I was so relaxed that I didn't want to move. Also I knew that as soon as I stepped away from the two hungover guys in front of me the burning sensation was going to return as we battled our way through the crowded halls again.

We had two more lectures that day, English Lit and Statistics. Statistics was our only lecture that afternoon, and one that Alice would be joining us in as part of her business degree. Alice and Jasper hadn't been planning on starting at Dartmouth until the second Trimester but there seemed like no point in waiting now that they were in New Hampshire early. Rosalie and Emmet had decided to skip College this time around, Rosalie was going to try a more 'hands on approach' by launching her and Alice's fashion label - hence Alice's desire for the business degree. Whereas, Emmet was throwing around ideas like pro-football player and international heavy weight boxing. Though we all knew this would be impossible as he would risk exposure, Edward seemed concerned at how his thoughts appeared to be growing more and more enticed by the idea. Meanwhile Esme was going through the motions of establishing herself as an interior designer while Carlisle was instated as Chief of Medicine at the local hospital.

The Lit lecture flew by almost as painlessly as Psyc had. The class and lecture theatre was a lot smaller than the previous one which meant that there was not as much breathing space as had been allowed in the larger lecture hall.

I felt sorry for the timid blonde girl who had been forced to sit at the end of mine and Edward's row. Though we had not acted at all hostile towards her, she still seemed very uncomfortable being seated where she was. I noticed the way she let her hair fan out over her face creating a curtain between us – the same way I had back at Fork's High School when Edward had made me feel uncomfortable all those years ago.

"Don't take it personally," Edward had tried to comfort me, "we intimidate her, that's all."

I made a mental note to try and make her feel more welcome in tomorrow's lecture if she chose to sit near us again – which was unlikely.

"So what now?" I asked, as I watched the shy blonde girl hastily pick up her text books and notes before retreating out the exit.

"Well we have a few hours to kill before our final lecture and I was thinking that I could maybe show you something?" He said in an odd tone. His eye's gleaming with excitement the same way they had a week ago when we had arrived at our new home.

"What is it?" I asked, sounding unintentionally more sceptical than excited.

"Well it's a surprise," The gleam faded slightly in his eyes as he appraised mine, "Unless there's something else that you would rather do?"

"No, of course not! What is it?" I asked, trying to infuse my tone with all the enthusiasm I could muster.

"Are you sure? I know how you hate surprises," his tone was sceptical this time.

"Of course I'm sure," I got to my feet, pulling him up with me. The room had almost emptied now. "So where's the surprise?"

He smiled his crooked smile down at me. "Patience. We have to get outside first," he explained. I was happy to hear the enthusiasm return to his voice again.

We took the long route downstairs, but it was also the route with the least amount of people and minimal crowds. I patiently bit my tongue as Edward led me out the west side of the Washington building and across the large campus. It was getting close to lunch time so many students were sitting around outside looking over textbooks and snacking on food which meant we were forced to move along at tedious human speed. The constant stares also meant that I had to remember all the small things like fidgeting and unco-ordination, but eventually we arrived at the far end of the staff parking lot on the very southern side of campus.

"So what are we doing here?" I finally asked, looking out over the scenic reserve that backed on to this side of the parking lot. The Connecticut River encircled the eastern side of campus and from what I could tell wound its way between the reserve and Mount Moosilauke, beyond which laid the White Mountains Region. From where we stood you could see the top of the snow capped mountains as they stood high above the tree line.

Surely a hunting trip wasn't what he had planned.

"You'll see when we get there," he said, with a smile. "Come on, this way."

He led me into the reserve for a few metres before taking off running. The reserve started of clear and flat but very quickly became dense and rose steadily upwards. We were headed directly towards Mount Moosilauke and with every metre I could feel the temperature around me drop. The wind was icy and wet; it left my skin and clothes damp and cold. It didn't take long before I heard the rush of water over rocks and moments later the wide Connecticut River came into view. It was deep and wide, even the colour was a royal blue which contrasted with its bushy green surroundings. At first I thought that maybe we were going to jump the river but Edward's pace slowed then he turned and moved south along the river bank. We were barely moving faster than human running pace through the dense bush and after a few more metres we came to an opening in the undergrowth. It was a small stony bank on the inside of a bend in the river. There were no trees only large flat boulders that were covered in moss and light sprinklings of snow.

Just like all the other secret locations Edward had shown me it was astoundingly beautiful. Even the air was crisp and pure, completely unpolluted by the outside world. The water here was calm and rolled in tiny rippled against spongy rocks.

Edward was a metre ahead of me, appraising my reaction. "I thought you might like a place close by where you could take a break," he shrugged casually, "you know, in case everything gets to be too much."

I smiled. "You spoil me you know," I told him. I walked over to where he was standing, picking a moss-free rock and sitting down. I didn't think Alice would be too impressed if I went back to campus with a stain on my new jeans.

Edward pulled his coat off and laid it down next to me.

"How do you mean?" He asked puzzled, as he sat crossed-legged on the jacket facing me. "This didn't cost me a thing. Usually you only complain when I spend money," he laughed lightly at his joke.

"Only because you shouldn't, and I'm not complaining," I said indignantly, placing my hand on his thigh. "You spoil me with your kindness and your sensitivity and your thoughtfulness. Sometimes I wonder if you have time to look after you."

He took my hand from his thigh and entangled my fingers in his.

"Knowing that you are happy makes me happy Bella, you know that," he stated simply, his intense eyes burned through me.

I nodded, unable to speak for a moment as he dazzled me. "I know, but there must be other things that make you happy, things other than me. Don't get me wrong, you can't imagine how…" I struggled with the word, "how, incredibly wonderful it feels to know that I am the centre of your universe, but I know that if I were you, that I would want more."

He shook his head slowly. "How could I want more when I already have everything?"

"You give me so much. A house, a life, expensive gifts, even small things like this place – you can't imagine how much the little things mean to me. I just want you to have that too. Only I don't know what to give you because you never ask for anything," I couldn't find the words to describe it properly. I didn't want to buy him a gift or anything like that, what I wanted for him was much more.

"Don't you realise Bella? You give me so much, every day. You gave me a purpose, you gave me a daughter and you give me unconditional love. What more could I ask for?" The side of his lips pulled up into a cheeky crooked smile. "I already have a really cool car." I couldn't help but smile in response. I admitted silent defeat. I knew in my head what I wanted I just couldn't put it into words. I looked down at our hands twisted together. My stunning golden wedding band stood out blatantly against our ivory skin.

"What's this really about?" Edward asked from in front of me, scepticism and worry deep in his voice. I knew what had brought it on, my insecure feelings at not being enough for him had reared its ugly head again, though I could never tell him that.

"It's nothing," I said as casually as possible. I meet his eyes again with my own and tried to use them to convince him of the lie. He opened his mouth to speak, I knew what was coming. He hated it when I didn't tell him what I was thinking. "Honestly, it just sort of came out. Forget it ok." I used the only weapon I had against him, my eyes. I pleaded with him softly and after a few seconds I could see his surrender.

"So how did you find this place anyway?" I asked attempting to change the subject.

"I used to spend my spare time here the last time I attended Dartmouth," he motioned towards a large pine on the edge of the bank. "My name is carved into the base of that tree."

I peered over in the direction he gestured and sure enough there were the initials 'E.C' carved in an elegant font in the trees aged bark.

"You've studied here before?" I asked shocked. I knew he had attended college before, a few times in fact. I just didn't realise that he had once been at this college.

"Dartmouth is where I began my medical career."

"Oh right, of course."

"It's changed a lot since I was here last. Strangely enough some of the people I studied with are now lecturers here, not that they would remember me though," he said in a distant kind of voice, he was reminiscing about the old days no doubt.

"There's so much of your life that I still don't know about," I commented sadly.

"None of its really that important," he shrugged.

"How can you say that? Everything about your life is important. Every experience made you into who you are," I argued.

He shook his head enthusiastically. "No, it made me into the person I was before I met you, before you changed me so completely."

"You think that's true, but I can see that it isn't. I want to know everything there is to know about you, past and present."

"Believe me. Old Edward is defiantly someone you wouldn't like," he said, a dark edge coming to his voice.

"I beg to differ. I would love you no matter what. Because you have and will always be you," I squeezed his hands gently.

"I like to think that I have nothing in common with the person I used to be. I was a monster," he spoke the last word with such hatred that it took me aback. His beautiful eyes grew darker and his teeth ground together.

"You were never a monster!" I said angrily. The word had always struck a nerve when used in reference to Edward. He was far from a monster. "I know you have done things in the past that you're not proud of, we all have, but that doesn't make you a monster. Edward, please."

He avoided my gaze, moving his eyes to the flowing river beside us. His teeth were still tightly clamped together.

I sighed. "When I was nine my best friend got given one of those mechanical troll things…a um, a Ferbie," Edward looked back to me now, he had the most confused expression on his face. I continued, "Anyway, I begged Renee for weeks to get me one, but she and Charlie had just broken up and money was tight, so she kept saying no. I was so jealous every time I saw my friend with hers and one day I stole it from her bag at school. She cried for days but no one ever expected that it was me. I felt so guilty that I had done it so I buried it in the back yard. Still to this day nobody knows that it was me who took it."

Edward was silent for a moment. He was looking at me like I had gone completely insane.

"Well the point of my story was that I never ever stole anything ever again, and I became a better person because of it. I'm not proud of it, but I wouldn't be me if I hadn't," I finished.

A smile pulled at the edge of Edward lips but his eyes remained tormented.

"Bella, you stole a doll," he said slightly amused. "I killed people." All amusement left his voice at this point.

"Bad people," I pointed out. "Bad people who had hurt other innocent people." I pulled a hand free from his and placed it on his cheek. "I don't believe for a second that you are, or ever have been a bad person. Let alone a monster." Our eyes connected for a long time as I tried to ease his pain. Eventually I climbed my way into his lap and wrapped my arms around him tightly. He held me just as closely as I held him.

"You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, both inside and out. I just wish that you could see it too. I want to know everything about your life. Can you not understand that?" I whispered softly to him.

He sighed. "Of course, I feel the same way about you in Phoenix. It's just hard to relive some of the choices I made. I don't necessarily regret them. I just wish I hadn't put myself in those positions in the first place."

Neither of us said anything for a long time after that. We just held each other and enjoyed the silence.

Eventually my excellent sense of time told me that our last lecture for the day would be drawing near. I lifted my head from Edward's shoulder and sighed.

"We should be getting back."

Edward nodded in response but then paused, a strange gleam coming to his eye. It made me happier to see him in a better mood.

"I was thinking maybe we could do his the old fashioned way," he said deviously.

"What do you me…"I didn't have a chance to finish before Edward picked me up and threw me onto his back.

I laughed happily as I wrapped my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck. Edward turned his head to kiss me before taking off through the dense bush.

A/N: Review! Review! Review! Pleeeaaasssseee!!!!