After three days of radiation treatment the day of the transfusion had finally arrived. Butterflies raced around my stomach, competing to see who could make me throw up first. I knew the nerves were pointless; I'd already killed off my immune system with the radiation treatment. If anything was going to go wrong, it was already too late to turn back.

I was exhausted after the past three days. It had been a bit like having more chemotherapy, but not as bad. Darry had been taken out for his surgery a couple of hours ago and I was waiting with Ponyboy, both of us anxious to hear how it had gone. I knew if this worked, I'd never be able to thank Darry enough. Pony and I both looked up sharply as the door opened and Dr. Sheldon came in. "How is he?" I asked quickly.

"He's fine," Dr. Sheldon reassured us. "He's woken up already and he'll come visit you when he's less groggy. Now, are you ready to get started?"

I noticed the equipment tray he'd brought in with him and gulped. This was probably the most important day of my entire life. This was my entire life. I glanced at Ponyboy, who nodded encouragingly. "Yeah, I'm ready."

Dr. Sheldon started hooking up the IV he'd brought. It was full of a pinkish liquid and he explained that it was a mix of Darry's blood and bone marrow. The butterflies started flying faster as I realized that my entire life depended on this one small bag of liquid. I turned away as he hooked the IV into my hand. Whatever direction this went, it was the beginning of the end.

When everything was hooked up and we were alone again, Pony and I silently watched the IV drip into me. We were both wondering if, somehow, I could beat the odds. This had worked for a few people, but not very many. Dr. Sheldon had said the biggest problem was infection so we were all being extra careful. No one was allowed to eat in my room and everyone had to wash their hands before they came in. I wasn't going to be allowed out of the room at all, which really bothered me, but I was hoping it would pay off in the end. There was a TV in the room, but I'd never been much of a TV watcher. I'd only watched so much in the last few weeks cause I had nothing else to do.

As the liquid in the IV bag neared empty, the door opened and Dr. Sheldon came back in pushing Darry in a wheelchair. I could feel my face light up as Darry gave me a tired smile. "Hey little buddy," he said. He sounded drained and I felt a bit guilty, knowing it was my fault.

"How are you, Darry?" I asked, concerned.

"I'm fine," he answered. I raised an eyebrow at him and he sighed. "I'll be fine in another day. Don't worry, Soda. I'm just a bit tired." He shifted and I saw him wince a little.

"How's your back?"

"Quit worrying about me, Soda," Darry grumbled. "Focus on yourself. I'll be fine tomorrow."

I looked to Dr. Sheldon for confirmation, who chuckled. "He's right, Soda. He'll be just fine. He's just a bit sore and the anesthesia is still in his system, so he'll be tired for a while. He just needs a good night's sleep." I nodded, accepting his answer. I would've felt awful if anything had happened to Darry cause of this, but aside from being tired, he really did look fine. The IV bag was empty now and Dr. Sheldon unhooked it and took it out of my arm. I sighed in relief, but I also knew it was temporary. Dr. Sheldon had told me he was worried about my nutrition, so I was going to get all my food through an IV. I really wasn't looking forward to that, but I knew I had no choice. I wasn't hungry at all and not eating wasn't going to do much to help avoid infection. I was going to have to be on antibiotics all the time, too.

"Darrel, you should get back to your room. You can come back and visit in a while," Dr. Sheldon said firmly." Darry nodded. I didn't really want him to leave, but he looked like he was trying hard not to fall asleep, so I didn't argue. Dr. Sheldon wheeled him out of the room and Pony and I sat back to start waiting.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

I lay in the hospital bed, trying to find a comfortable position. Even with pain meds, my back was throbbing from where they'd taken the bone marrow. I finally settled on my side. It wasn't the most comfortable position, but it beat lying on my back. I knew the pain would be well worth it if this whole thing worked.

The anesthesia was still in my system and I was just drifting off to sleep when my door opened quietly. I figured it was a nurse checking on me and I ignored it till I sensed the person sit down in the chair beside the bed. I opened my eyes and found Ponyboy watching me. "Soda's asleep, so I came to see how you're doing," he explained.

I felt bad for the poor kid, watching Soda go through all this and now having to see me in the hospital, too. I was glad he'd been able to stay with Soda during his side of the transplant so that he wouldn't have to be alone. "I'll be fine, Pone," I reassured him. "I'm just sore. It'll go away."

He nodded and when he didn't say anything else, I took a guess at what he really wanted to talk about. "You worried about Soda?" He nodded again and I reached out for his hand. "It'll be okay, Pone. As long as we're careful around Soda, he should be okay. We just can't get him sick."

"What about rejection?" Pony asked quietly.

I didn't have an answer to that. Dr. Sheldon had told us that aside from infection, the next biggest concern was that Soda's body would reject my marrow. If it was going to happen, there was no way to prevent it. "Don't think about it," I advised. "It's out of our control. We just have to do what we can."

Pony sighed and nodded again. I wished I had better answers for him, but I was just as lost and afraid as he was. Besides, he knew all the same facts that I did and there was no point in lying to him. "Soda seemed happy before he fell asleep," he said, smiling a little. "He's still real excited that we even found a match."

I smiled back at him. I was starting to have trouble fighting the sleep that had been claiming me before Pony had come to visit. "We got lucky. Maybe it'll keep going."

Pony noticed how tired I was and squeezed my hand. "Night, Dare." He got up to leave, then added quietly, "I'm glad it was you."

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

The next two weeks passed at a snail's pace. The guys stayed with me as much as they could and Darry and Pony had convinced the nurses to let them stay overnight again. I would've gone crazy if I'd had to pass the time by myself.

It was one of the days where Pony and Darry were both working and Steve and Two-Bit were keeping me company. I'd been trying to ignore a headache all day, but it was getting harder. "So then Two-Bit hands her his number and she actually rips it up in front of his face!" Steve snickered and threw a pitying look at Two-Bit, who quickly punched Steve in the arm.

"It ain't like you've got girls hanging all over you or anything," Two-Bit scoffed.

"True, but I only need one girl." I smiled at Steve's comment. Things had been real good for him and Evie lately. I was hoping they'd turn out better than they had for me and Sandy.

Two-Bit started to make some smart remark but he stopped when I spoke up quietly. "Could you two knock it off?" They'd been going at it for a while and my headache was starting to get the better of me.

Steve looked at me in concern. "You okay, Soda?"

"Yeah," I lied. "Just tired." I coughed and I saw them shoot meaningful looks at each other. "I'm right here, guys," I reminded them. "You don't have to look at each other like that. Like I said, I'm just tired."

"You sure, Soda?" Two-Bit asked. "Maybe we should get the doctor, just in case."

I coughed again and this time I felt a sharp stab in my chest. "Fine, get the doctor," I reluctantly agreed. I was sure it was nothing, but I knew I had to be careful.

Two-Bit left and I sat back on my bed, brooding. I was sure my headache was just from being cooped up for so long and I was probably coughing cause it was dry in the room. I felt like I'd been under a microscope ever since the transplant. Everyone was always watching me, waiting for me to get sick. It was making me nervous.

After a few minutes, Two-Bit came back in the room with Dr. Sheldon. Right on cue I coughed again and I saw Dr. Sheldon frown. I groaned inwardly; there was that microscope again. "How long have you been coughing, Soda?" he asked.

"Just a few minutes. It's just dry in here," I insisted.

Dr. Sheldon ignored me and kept asking questions. "Any other symptoms?"

I sighed, knowing I wasn't going to get away from the third degree. "I've had a headache all day."

He came over and lifted up my shirt so he could use his stethoscope. I breathed in and out when he told me to, cringing a little from the cold metal. "Any other symptoms?" he asked when he was finished. "Any chest pain? Difficulty breathing?"

I frowned, starting to get a bit nervous. How did he know I'd had chest pain? "A little pain," I admitted.

"And breathing?" I shook my head. "Okay. I'm going to send you downstairs to get some chest X-rays so we can find out what's going on."

He left the room and Steve eyed me critically. "You've had chest pain, too? Why didn't you say anything, Soda?"

I tried to brush his question off, both to keep him and Two-Bit at bay and to calm my own rising nerves. "It was just once," I said. "I'm sure it's nothing. It's probably just a cold. It's been two weeks, so I'm starting to get an immune system again." I looked at each of them, wanting them to agree with me, but they stayed silent.

After a few minutes, a resident came in with a wheelchair and I dutifully moved off my bed to the chair. I'd been feeling strong enough to move around on my own some in the last few days. I wondered glumly if I was about to go right back to square one.

As we moved through the hallways to the X-ray room, I found myself taking in everything around me. It may have still been the hospital, but at least it was something outside of the room I'd been stuck in for two weeks. After spending forever waiting for and then getting the X-rays, I was taken back up to my room. Darry and Pony were there now and they'd obviously been filled in by Steve and Two-Bit, who were still waiting for me.

Darry jumped on me the second he saw me. "Did they find out what's wrong?"

"Geez, Darry. At least let me get into bed," I complained, getting up from the wheelchair. As soon as I was settled he started in again.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner, Soda?" he scolded, arms crossed.

"Two-Bit got the doctor right after I coughed. How much sooner did you want us to do something?" I asked, annoyed. Spending so long getting the tests done had taken more out of me than I'd thought it would.

"What about your headache?" Darry persisted. "Steve said you've had it all day."

I glared at my best friend. "He needs to know, Soda," he offered, shrugging back at me.

I shook my head and turned back to Darry. "A headache doesn't mean I'm sick. I figured it would go away." My laid back attitude was mostly to convince myself that everything was fine, but Darry didn't care for it so much.

"You figured it would go away?!" he practically shouted. "Soda, what was the point in me giving you bone marrow if you're not going to tell us when you're sick?"

I sat stunned by his outburst, my mouth hanging open a bit. Did he regret being my donor? Did he wish I'd just kept going with chemo, even though it probably would've killed me anyway? "Dare…" Pony started, but was cut off by our older brother.

"No, Pony. He needs to understand how serious this could be."

I couldn't take his attitude anymore and I snapped. "I do understand, Darry," I growled. "Do you think I don't realize that one small infection could kill me? I know damn well how serious this is. But I'll go crazy if I spend all my time thinking that every cough or headache could mean something."

Darry's face softened a little and he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I know, Soda. I'm sorry. I'm just…stressed," he finished lamely.

I laughed and shook my head at him. "You're stressed? Try being the one stuck in here twenty-four hours a day." I gestured at the room, which was less than inviting, Ponyboy had found a few photos to put on the walls, but there wasn't much else to make it look appealing. "Honest, Darry, I really do know how serious this is."

Darry sat down on the edge of the bed and wrapped an arm around my neck. "I know you do, little buddy. But you've gotta tell us everything, just in case." I nodded and leaned against him.

We all jumped when Dr. Sheldon came into the room a minute later. I sat tensely, waiting to hear what he had to say. Pony looked terrified and Darry moved to put an arm around him, keeping one hand on my shoulder. I didn't like the look on Dr. Sheldon's face. I'd been hoping he'd come in smiling, telling us right away that everything looked good. "When I listened to your chest earlier, Soda," he started, "I heard a crackling sound. That's why I ordered the X-rays. When I looked at them, they confirmed what I'd already guessed. You have the beginning stages of pneumonia."

I felt the world spin out from under me and my carefree façade flew right out the window. We hadn't been careful enough. Despite all our efforts, I'd somehow gotten sick anyway, and now I was gonna die.

"This isn't a death sentence, Soda," Dr. Sheldon said, reading my mind. "I won't lie to you—it's not good. Pneumonia is serious for anyone, and it's especially bad for you. But, it's early and it's still possible to fight this. I'll start you on stronger antibiotics right away and we'll monitor you very carefully. Don't give up."

I nodded numbly and watched as he left the room again, leaving dead silence behind him. Ponyboy moved from his spot beside Darry and climbed onto the bed, curling up next to me. I put my arms around him and pulled him close, resting my head on his. "It'll be okay, Pony," I whispered, maybe more for my sake than his.

I heard hushed whispers from the other side of the room, then Two-Bit spoke softly to Darry. "We're gonna head out, give you guys some privacy. You need anything before we leave?"

Darry shook his head and sunk into one of the chairs beside the bed. Two-Bit clapped me on the shoulder and Steve tried to give me a smile, but failed miserably. "Take care, buddy," he said, before slowly following Two-Bit out the door. Another resident came in to change the IV that was giving me antibiotics. I still intensely hated needles, but I'd gotten so used to them by now that I just flinched when he put it in. I'd take an IV over a spinal tap any day.

When we were alone again, I asked the question that had been bugging me. "Do you think I made the wrong choice? Should I have kept getting the chemo, instead?"

Darry rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. "I really don't know, Soda. Honestly, I probably would've gone with the chemo, but I'm not the one who's had to go through it for the past two months. I don't think you really had any good options." I nodded and pulled Pony closer to me. "Soda," Darry said quietly, watching me hold my younger brother like a security blanket, "you can still beat this." As if my body was trying to prove him wrong, I coughed, wincing as pain throbbed in my chest.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

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