(click)
(FLASH)
SAKURA LIVE ON—
…
(click)
(FLASH)
News flash! We are LIVE—
"No. She's not for sale."
"But if you pay right, maybe we'll—"
"Shut up, Naruto."
"No one touches Sakura-chan and her boobies—"
"Shut up now."
"But you can watch them make babies."
…
(click)
(FLASH)
FLASH REPORT!!!
HARUNO SAKURA IS ON A MANHUNT!!
To register, log in—
"She's not on a manhunt."
"She's on a Sasuke-virgin-hunt."
"Talk again and I'll fucking rip Ichiraku off its ground."
…
(click)
(FLASH)
Want a girl?
DATE ME!
TAKE ME!
I AM SO—
"Sakura."
(click)
(FLASH)
"Ohhhh, Sasuboobie!"
(click)
(click)
"…where is your goddamned skirt?"
………
…
…
-
-
Naruto screamed.
Kakashi blinked. "Hmm? That good?"
Naruto screamed again. He only stopped when Sasuke's Sharingan flashed at him. "Alright… Alright, I'll stop."
"What do we have here, hmm?" Kakashi looked over the heads, being tall and lanky himself. Naruto and Sasuke cringed when Kakashi's lone eye widened, and then, squinted. "…arm-wrestling match? Interesting…"
"It's not! It's for Sakura-chan's virginity!" Naruto had shamelessly said it aloud, prompting Sasuke to kick the boy at the shin.
Kakashi arched a slim brow. "Didn't the Hokage tell you to look after her, Sasuke?"
The Uchiha grunted.
"She's making a fool of herself in front of the village and you're not doing anything?"
"I'm—"
"I'm disappointed." Kakashi turned to his former students. "Should I look after her?"
"No." Both boys answered, one yelled, the other growled.
"Fine. Sasuke, this is a mission. Make sure she keeps her legs together and virginity intact or else…"
Sasuke glared.
Kakashi smiled. "…you'll lose your chance."
"Damn you."
"Really… such violence towards your amazing sensei. That hurts."
Sasuke's upper lip curled and sensing danger, Kakashi decided to leave. "Off you go, boys. Protect our little Pink Pinky Princess."
Poof!
"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto wailed.
"Shut up, moron."
"Sasukeeeeee—" the blond whined, which disgusted Sasuke. "You've got to save her! We should not… Would you just let her have her first time with some random asshole?! No! NO! Do something!"
"What the hell do you think I'm doing here?" Sasuke sneered. "I look stupid just by falling in line here. I'm not desperate to get laid."
"ASSHOLE! You're there to save Sakura-chan's innocence!"
A headache was coming on. "Naruto, stop shouting."
"So what do you plan to do? You can't beat Sakura-chan in arm-wrestling! You know how monstrous her monstrous strength is!"
"Hn."
"Teme, what the fuck does your fucking hn means!?"
"NEXT! Ohhhh… it's Sasuke-kuuuun, my flower power!"
Sasuke wanted the ground to open up and swallow her.
"Now, don't be naïve! Just because I like you like the way I like my pink frilly panties, it doesn't mean I'll go easy on you! I love playing hard to get because it's hot and it's hip… and frou-frou and… touching and romantic and so cute! Now, now… do your best or else…" Sakura's voice dropped into a sexy purr. "I'll break your heart."
Sasuke glowered.
Sakura grinned lopsidedly. "You're so hot when you're angry."
Naruto grimaced. "You're giving me nightmares, Sakura-chan!"
"Be quiet, Naruto." The blond obliged, wiggling his eyebrows conversationally: what now, bastard? Sasuke only scowled and placed his arm in pre-wrestling position.
"Don't worry, my pretty pretty love! Our love will prevail!"
Uchiha pressed his teeth together.
"Ready?" Sakura drawled, grasping his hand. Sasuke bowed his head, sighed and gripped her hand back. A smirk spread over his lips as he slowly lifted his eyelids, revealing three-tomoe Sharingan. The crimson eyes looked directly to Sakura's wide eyes. The green orbs bulged, and then slowly closed, her eyeballs rolling backward as Sakura collapsed sideward, fast asleep.
"Yikes! That's unfair, you cheater! Boo, you asshole!" Naruto jeered. Sasuke rolled his eyes and grabbed the girl around the waist, hoisting her up from the table. Fanboys wailed in the background and when few of them tried to save their pinky pink princess from the fearsome red-eyed flesh-hungry dragon, the said fearsome red-eyed flesh-hungry dragon narrowed its fearsome red eyes and barred its fearsome fangs. The fanboys shriveled and whimpered.
"Jeez, Sasuke! Turn off your crazy Sharingan!" Naruto said, rolling his eyes.
Wimp. Sasuke snarled mentally. He tucked the girl under his arm.
"And is that the right way to carry your future baby-maker? Carry her like a pinky pink princess!" The blond continued pointedly.
Sasuke shot his best friend with a glacial look. "Is that so?" Surprising Naruto, he tossed the slumbering girl in his direction. With a yelp, Naruto clumsily caught Sakura's body in his arms.
"You carry her, then."
"You bastard! What the fuck did you do that for?!"
"Hn." Sasuke turned away defiantly.
"I would have punched a hole through your head. Thanks to Sakura-chan's body in my arms, I can't."
Sasuke faced the blond with a scathing glare. "I just fixed your blunder, you dumbass. I told you to look after her but you flew to devil-knows-where, saw space and saw Jupiter and she put her virginity in auction." Dark eyes grew even darker. "This fucking time, do your fucking job without fucking flying to fucking space."
Naruto seemed unfazed with Sasuke's brutality. "Whatever, loser." His blue eyes sparkled. "Ohhh, I know, I know!"
"You know what?" Sasuke had a nagging suspicion about this.
"I know how to stop Sakura-chan from running around the village selling her precious virginity!"
Sasuke raised a brow. "What is it?"
A knowing grin cracked Naruto's face in halves. "Watch and learn. Watch and learn."
………
…
…
-
-
(click)
(FLASH)
(through a viewfinder)
Her mouth opened, is this fate?
No, he replied. It's bad luck.
She pouted, how sad! And here I am, giddy and dazzling! Ohhh, maybe, you are right! This is not fate.
His dark eyes watched her warily.
This is a Dwarf's Tale!
He sighed, Sakura.
Hm?
It's a Fairy Tale.
She was dumbfounded.
I KNEW IT! YOU'RE A PRINCESS AT HEART!
…
…
………
Sasuke's brow twitched. A tic developed, covering his face.
"Naruto…"
"I know! No need to thank me! Am I genius or am I genius?!" The blond sang excitedly. "I know… you can't find a word to say to thank me… I know I am great. And for an asshole like you, I know it's hard to accept the fact that a pure genius like me is way above your caliber. And I know, I surpassed your modicum of genius—"
Sasuke smacked the blonde boy at the back of the head. "You idiot." He hissed, seething. "What the fuck is this?"
Rubbing the back of his head, Naruto replied. "Are you blind now, aside from being an asshole and a jackrabbit?" He grinned widely, triumphantly.
"I tied Sakura-chan to your bed."
…
…
………
Text ONSAKURALAPDANCE send to—
Text ONSAKURASTRIP send to—
Text ONSAKURAPOLEDANCING send to—
Text ONSAKURABLOWJOB send to—
"Who the hell perpetuated these… text messages?"
"Uh…"
"TELL ME."
"Uchiha-san…"
"OR I'LL FUCKING RIP YOUR STOMACH OUT."
"It's… S-Sakura-san…"
He knew he looked stupid, gawking like this.
"She… started it."
(sparkle. sparkle.)
"Ohhhh, it's Sasucandy!"
(spin. spin.)
"Hey, have you sent a request? I'm receiving lots of messages!"
"Sakura."
"Ohhhh, many requested a lap dance, how sweet! I'm gonna dance, dance, dance… What do you want me to dance, Sasucandy?"
"…"
"But… oh yeah— blow job is getting more requests. Hmm… what should I blow?"
(more vein, vein, vein—)
"What do you want, Sasuke-kun? Yours or theirs?"
(whoa!
Bystanders jumped back as fire burst in the background)
"…but I want yours…" Sakura batted her lashes. "I want… PINK BUBBLES NOT BLUE BUBBLES! PINK BUBBLES ARE CUTE! AND FLASHY, AND GIRLY, AND DAZZLING! OH SASUKE-KUN THEY WANT ME TO BLOW BLUE BUBBLES! NARUTO WANTED AN ORANGE BUBBLE! NEJI WANTED A WHITE BUBBLE! KIBA WANTED A RED BUBBLE! SHIKAMARU WANTED A BROWN BUBBLE! BUT I—" she jammed a thumb over her collarbone, "I… want to blow yours!"
…
…
"GIVING ME SILENT TREATMENT, LOVER BOY?"
"…I'm going to tie you on a tree, Sakura."
Heart, heart.
"TIE ME NOW!"
"…and leave you there for eternity."
"Aww… I knew it! You believe in Eternal Love!"
-
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I'm sick. XD
And Pink Day is sick. (honestly, I should stop sucking lollipops while typing XD) Hmm, Endlessly is next (…I hope so) Thank you for your time reading XD and more, more thanks if you drop a 'hi' or a 'you suck'.
kissy, kissy.