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A Legend's Journey

Chapter 8

The next morning Raine felt as if there was a lead block where her stomach should be. She didn't want to face Auron across the breakfast table but she had to maintain appearances.

He turned when she entered the kitchen. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Auron," with a slight smile. "Hope you're well."

"Yes, thank you." Trying to maintain neutrality was a lot harder than he thought. He didn't realize that he was very successful at it.

Raine nibbled at her food and sipped at her coffee. Auron noticed that she didn't eat very much, but he wasn't very hungry himself. They both seemed to be off their feed a bit.

Breakfast completed, Auron cocked his head to one side a bit and asked, "Are you ready to make your debut into society?"

Blue eyes snapped to his and she hesitated. She looked down. "I don't know."

Then she thought, 'At least I'll be out of the house. It will help fill some time.'

She looked back up at him as her chin came up and said, "Yes. I think so. I have to do it sooner or later. Better to get it over with. I can't stay here forever."

That last sent a pain jabbing through his middle. He didn't know if he could stand her leaving or not. He'd do everything he could to convince her to stay if it ever came to it.

"We'll go whenever you're ready."

"Give me a moment and I'll be ready," as she went to her room.

A few minutes later she reappeared and nodded.

There was a chill in the morning air, so he suggested that she wear her new cloak. When she returned from her room wearing it, he couldn't breathe for a second. Harlan had somehow matched the color of her eyes exactly and the effect with the tiny bit of scarlet trim was devastating. It was the same scarlet as his coat. Harlan was indeed a master at his craft!

He donned his coat and reached for his blade on the wall. She was thinking that this was truly a different world if such weapons were necessary every time you leave the house. She wondered how she could ever manage out on her own.

As he sheathed his massive weapon, she thought, 'That thing probably weighs as much as I do!'

Auron noticed her observance, but said nothing.

Auron opened the door and waved her ahead of him onto the path to the outer door. Then the outer door was opened. He had told her that the square was a busy place with many vendors selling their wares, but the rush of color and noise momentarily caught her off guard.

A strong hand on her elbow, a reassuring glance and a nod, she took a breath, raised her chin, and stepped out into the sunlight.

It was a very busy morning in the square. They slowly made their way towards the tents and stalls as she took in the sights around her.

The hood of her cloak was resting behind her, her hair open to the sun. Auron found himself fascinated at how the sun seemed to find so many little flecks of gold hidden within the dark brown. It was beautiful as it sparkled with her movement.

Many eyes took in the small woman beside the man in scarlet. Harlan's cloak couldn't have been more perfect for her; she was a picture.

They slowly drifted from tent to tent. The people were anxious to finally meet this woman who had been dropped into their world. She was meeting them in her quiet, gentle way, making a bit of small-talk, asking questions, answering questions, laughing softly. She was open, honest, genuine; her natural friendliness disarmed those meeting her. She found approval and friendliness in return.

Auron stayed a pace or two behind her, letting her set her own pace, find her own way, but close enough to be reassuring during those brief moments when her eyes sought his.

He had no idea just how terribly imposing a figure he was: silent, powerful, slowly escorting this beautiful young woman through the square. People only saw his great size, his strength, that red coat with its buckles and the blue-and-white belt, the distinctive silver touches in his black hair, his left arm out of its sleeve as it rested in the front of the coat, face hidden by the tall collar and dark glasses. And the unbelievably huge blade now sheathed on his back.

It was noticed that times she would glance up at him and he would give an almost imperceptible nod. But they had no inkling of the joy that was racing through his veins that day as he watched her begin to take her place in society. They only saw The Guardian.

She was enjoying the outing so much that they purchased a bit of lunch, eating it off to the side of the square under some large, shady trees.

Raine looked at him, smiling shyly, said, "Thank you for giving me courage, Auron. You make this easy."

He responded, "The courage is within yourself, Raine. I'm simply here if you need me." His pulse increased at the sight of a real smile on her face.

Raine thought, 'Always the distant Guardian.'

After the midday respite, they continued their circuit. Tent after tent was visited. Raine asked questions about things she didn't recognize and vendors were pleased to help. She often laughed softly at her situation and told them that she would depend on them to help her learn all this.

Her seeming ease in addressing her unique situation made everyone feel at ease. And he found himself looking at his own world in a new way. Things he had never noticed or had paid no attention now were seen through her eyes. A smile tugged at one corner of his mouth behind the collar. He was so proud of how well she handled herself.

They eventually made their way to the Chocobo corral. That's where her feet stopped. The big yellow birds just plain frightened her. Carlon, the wrangler, introduced himself and, seeing her trepidation, began to talk to her about the great birds. She listened but her eyes were still wary of the feathered creatures.

Carlon' s brown eyes sparkled in mischief as he offered to take her for a short ride on one of his gentlest birds. She laughed and uttered the phrase which would become a running joke between them: "Maybe one day, Carlon, but it won't be this one!" They laughed.

Auron wanted her to laugh some more so he could soak in the sound of it. He felt a moment of resentment toward Carlon because he could make her laugh. Then he felt anger at his own seeming inability to do that.

Raine had so enjoyed this day that she didn't want it to end. She liked the people and they seemed to like her in return. She smiled to herself. 'At least I have somewhere I can go during the day,' she thought. Her smile faded as she thought of her situation with Auron. If only she could let her feelings be known.

Auron watched her face. She was truly enjoying herself and he was very glad that she was making friends with the people so easily. 'They can't resist her, either,' he wryly thought.

Then he saw the smile fade and an expression of sorrow cross her lovely features. She looked at the ground and seemed to be struggling to controlling her emotions for a moment. What was it? What caused this unhappiness in her? He had no clue.

The day's light was beginning to fade so he suggested that they make a visit to Nan's tent before returning to the compound.

As soon as Nan saw Raine, she opened her arms to her and Raine held onto the older woman for several moments. When Nan looked into the beautiful young face, she quickly picked up on great unhappiness in the blue eyes. 'Oh? What is this? What has brought this on?'

But she voiced none of her concern, instead putting a big smile on her face. "Oh, look how lovely you are in this beautiful dress! Harlan is so talented! It's just perfect for you!"

In Nan's warm embrace, Raine felt as if she wanted to cry and pour her heart out to this wonderful woman who had been so kind to her. But she couldn't. She had to keep it inside somehow.

Instead of bursting into tears as she wanted, She forced her emotions back and smiled back at Nan and blushed at her compliments with a soft "Thank you."

Auron felt a tremor in his own arms as he watched Nan holding Raine for those moments. He wanted that to be himself holding her. Why, oh, why couldn't that be him? He wanted to scream out the anguish inside him.

Nan turned to him with a greeting and asked how she could serve him. He began making a few choices for their evening meal. While he was making his choices, Nan observed what was visible of his face. At one point he removed his dark glasses as he examined some of the items.

'He's not sleeping well,' she observed. 'What can be the cause of that?'

Troubled eyes looked at Raine then looked at Sir Auron. 'Hmmmm.' Her eyebrows rose to their highest point.

When Auron placed his choices before Nan, he saw that her eyes were studying his own as if she could see straight into his soul. He felt uncomfortable. No one could know of his conflict.

He paid for their food and escorted Raine back to the compound. Many pairs of eyes followed them, but one pair was especially troubled. 'Oh, this is going to take some delicate work,' she thought. 'How is it that neither one knows?'

In the villa, Raine removed her cloak and hung it on the coat tree by the door beside Auron's red coat. The two looked natural there together.

In the kitchen, Auron and Raine began to prepare their meal. It was mostly quiet as both seemed to be thinking their own thoughts.

As they began to eat, Auron asked if she had enjoyed her day. He saw a genuine happy smile light her face.

"Oh, yes! Everyone is so friendly! I really did enjoy meeting them. There is so much to see, to learn. I loved all the colors and sounds, the smells. I hope I can visit with them often! Will that be all right?"

Auron was thinking, 'I wish I could cause her face to look that way.' There was deep sadness in his dark eyes.

"Yes. You can go anytime. I do ask that you let me know where you'll be and that you not leave the square. I'll need at accompany you anywhere else."

She nodded, looking down at her plate of mostly untouched food. The Guardian was on duty, giving her his instructions. When will this misery within her end? She couldn't touch another bite.

"I'm afraid I'm not very hungry. I think I'll go out back."

Auron nodded and she went out the back door of the kitchen. She had previously discovered a wonderful corner of the compound that had several sizable trees, an especially beautiful collection of fragrant flowers and a comfortable bench. She went to the bench, sat and released a very long sigh.

'I don't know if I can continue this or not. It seems be to be growing bigger and bigger inside me. I may have to find another place. This is becoming too much.'

But how could she bear to be away from him, to not see his beautiful face, his eyes, hear that deep, rumbling voice. Her eyes were squeezed shut, she could hardly breathe. She held clenched fists to her head.

Auron ate only a little more, then pushed his plate aside with a sigh. He stood and looked out the back window. He saw Raine, head in her hands, in obvious great distress. What was causing her this pain? What could he do to help? He couldn't bear to see her like this. He couldn't stop himself. He opened the door and walked across the soft grass to the bench.

Raine didn't hear him approach and he arrived just in time to hear her strangled voice softly say, "Raine, why didn't you just die! Why didn't you die??"

He was shocked! What could possibly make her feel that her life wasn't worth living?He carefully knelt in front of her, tremendously concerned and took her clenched fists in his big hands.

Softly and gently he asked, "Raine, what is the matter? What is causing you such grief? How can I help you? What can I do?"

His worried dark eyes searched deep into her blue ones and he saw unhappy despair there.

Looking into his eyes, Raine simply couldn't help it. She loosed her hands from his and threw them around his neck tightly and sobbed her heart out. His strong arms wrapped around her, held her close and gently rocked her.

Auron was fighting his own emotions as he held her small body so close. He had wanted to do this so badly though not at the expense of her well-being. But at least he was holding her.

One big hand was stroking her soft hair, the other holding her tightly. His thin black shirt, neck and shoulder were soaked with her tears.

The sun's light faded, but still he held her. When her tears finally stopped, he still held her for long, long minutes, inhaling the sweet, clean smell of her hair.

When she began to remove herself from his arms and sit up, he was reluctant to have her leave his embrace, but he could find no reason to explain holding her any longer. Her face bore the ravages of her hard crying, but she was still so very beautiful to his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Auron. I'm sorry." Her eyes were downcast.

"Is there anyway I can help, Raine? I'll do whatever it takes."

She looked up into his dark eyes and wanted more than anything in the world to tell him of her feelings, to kiss his lips, to hold him close forever. But she knew she couldn't.

She dropped her eyes again and shook her head.

It had seemed that for a moment she was going to let him in, to drop the veil behind which she was keeping herself. His heart thudded in hope, but then she retreated again. His hopes dropped.

"Thank you, Auron. I think I'll go in now. Good night."

"Good night, Raine. Sleep well." He sighed softly.

And he sat in the dark alone with his thoughts.