WHEE it's Dino's turn! (should I be happy that my second favourite character is going to be harassed by fangirls? O_O)
Dino has the same birthday as ME! WHEE~ (shoot! I used the Speech of a Fangirl sign! NO!!!)
4th February! 333 ah okay, now I'm acting like the things I despise...O_O
ON TO THE FICCCCC~~~
...oh no!
WARNING: There is some implied T-rated stuff from crazy yaoi fangirls. Therefore if you're under the age of 8, you might not want to read this.
Actually, you would, wouldn't you. =_=
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! HOW on EARTH did you GUESS!
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FANGIRL SECRET FILES 023139524: TARGET 6
NAME: DINO CAVELLONE
DESCRIPTION: KYAAA~~ BLONDE. ITALIAN. USES WHIP. HAS LITTLE PET TURTLE THAT TURNS UBER BIG WHEN EXPOSED TO WATER. 22 YEARS OLD. TSUNA'S SORT OF OLDER BROTHER. LIKES (UNCONFIRMED BUT WE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WISH SO) HIBARI KYOUYA (SEE TARGET 2)
TACTICS:
WAY TO A MAN IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH...
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"Dino-san!"
"Yo, Tsuna! I got your letter about the...enemy."
"...oh. Glad to see that you're okay. Weren't you leaving for Italy or something?"Tsuna questions.
"Yep! Thought I'll stop by to see my little brother, and of course grab a snack!" Dino grins childishly.
As the two (excluding Romario because no one really notices him much) turn to walk into Tsuna's house, something in the air flies...
...and hits Tsuna squarely on the head.
"HIIEEEE..." and he collapses on the floor.
"Tsuna!" Dino yells. Then he has a puzzled look on his face. He thought it was a rock, dynamite, brick, or something vaguely dangerous as an attempt on the Vongola Tenth's life, and that he had FAILED as Tsuna's sort-of nii-san to protect him.
Instead, it was a black bento box, with a pink construction paper heart on it, with "Dino 3" written on it.
In bright, neon, PINK.
Afraid to touch it, he kicked the box open with his sneaker, holding his whip ready, Romario ready on stand-by.
Inside, were the specialty pink eggs and ham.
Dino remembered a funny poem he had read once that went like, Green Eggs and Ham, Green Eggs and Ham. Oh how I love, Green Eggs and Ham.
PINK eggs and ham...that was just freaky. Tsuna woke up, crawled weakly onto his arms, turned his head and looked at the bento.
"HIIIIIIEEEE! PINK EGGS AND HAM!" And promptly fainted again.
Dino raised his whip, wrapped the whip around his little 'gift', and hurled it into the distance...
Into the Distance...
Hibari was lying on the rooftop, contemplating his plans to rule the world of pathetic herbivores, as usual, watching Hibird fly about in the air like yellow cotton wool.
The black and pink splats in the air joined the yellow wool in the air, making a very interesting colour scheme.
Or so Hibari thought until the stuff landed on his face.
If he wasn't Hibari Kyouya, he might just have screamed.
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...FAILED. APPARENTLY THE ONLY FOOD HE'LL EAT IS TSUNA'S MOM'S COOKING. MORE INTELLIGENCE MISSIONS NEEDED.
THROUGH HIBARI KYOUYA...
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"Your mother's cooking is awesome as ever, Tsuna!" Dino grinned as he pushed a scraped clean plate away from him.
"She'll be glad to hear that, but she left for the market..." Just then, a bird's voice could be heard through the glass.
"Midori...uhm, something something! Namimori..."
"Is that Hibari's bird?"
"...has Hibird ever sang that badly?"
"...hm. Good point, Dino-san. But then...what..."
They turned to see Hibird...no, Hinabird in the window. She was holding a little piece of paper in her little claws, which were cute, but not as cute as Hibird's of course, since Hinabird is just a stupid fangirl's cheap imitation of Hibird. Don't do piracy, be original. Buy authentic manga and anime merchandise! Only 5 times the price!
Dino unrolled the piece of paper. Tsuna peeked over his shoulder.
"I ...don't think he wrote this." Tsuna said as he eye-twitched.
"From what you tell me, it seems like their style..."
Dearest sensei Dino-sama~.
I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANNA BITE YOU TO DEATH! Rawr~! ^^
Meet at Namimori School Rooftop tonite at 9pm! 3
LOTS OF LUBS (and bites)
Hibari Kyouya.
"...I am almost...tempted to...vomit..." Dino gagged.
Just then, Tsuna's mother came home. She saw Tsuna holding Hinabird in his hand, and said:
"Oh, Tsu-kun! What a LOVELY bird! It would go lovely with the spinach stew I was planning to try out today!"
Hinabird flinched as Tsuna's Mother approached her with a smile...
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Tsuna had decided to bring along Gokudera and Yamamoto with him, because...well, they were the only Guardians worth bringing...(I mean, who else is there? Hibari was...already sort of there. Lambo would be useless. Mukuro/Chrome would be...pointless. And scary.)
Dino had a faint idea of what had been planned by "Hibari". He figured that his student would probably hate him, and would try to bite him to death anyway. Not in the...sexual connotation way that they hoped though.
They reached the rooftop and Tsuna, Gokudera and Yamamoto agreed to stay out of sight until the targets arrived.
So there was Hibari, covered in pink eggs and ham, tied up in a corner, and a bunch of fangirls with "WE HEART DINOxHIBARI".
Dino flinched. "What have you done to Kyouya?"
"...AWW! HE'S SAD THAT HIS LOVER IS HURT! SO ...YAOIIII! SQUEAL!" They...squealed. Dino facepalmed, and the three Vongola people hiding behind the water tower sweatdropped. Gokudera cursed.
"Now, Dino-sama, we have prepared him LOVELY and TIED UP and brought to you...just like a present! Now make the most of it!" squealed a fangirl.
"...can I just untie him and get out of here?"
"..you could, but...isn't it FUN? Don't you like BONDAGE? ...I mean, you're the guy with a WHIP, for goodness sakes! Put it to some good use for once!"
Dino went red with fury/embarrassment. Tsuna and Gokudera went red because they understood what was going on. Yamamoto, clueless as usual, went "What? Tell me, guys!"
Hibari woke up. "...herbivore..." he growled at Dino.
"Now you're gonna have an EVEN HARDER TIME WITH HIBARI!!!" whined a fangirl.
"...yay! Violence AND M-rated hentai yaoi! ^^" went another.
Dino went redder, and rushed over to untie Hibari.
Hibari growled. "I don't need your help. Can't you even beat up these herbivores?...stupid herbivore."
"One thing, Kyouya. I eat meat too. Another thing, can't you EVER be grateful for once?"
"...I don't need help..."
"Whatever."
Hibari stood up and pushed the pink...substances off his hair. Dino whistled innocently as he realised what happened. Hibari glanced at Dino, but said nothing.
"Now, let us bite these herbivores to death!" Dino grinned happily.
"...that's MY line, herbivore." growled Hibari.
"...I think you need to see a doctor for your throat. You've been croaking and growling all day!"
"..." Hibari decided not to bother anymore, and charged at the fangirls.
Tsuna grabbed Gokudera and Yamamoto out of there before the violence scarred them for life.
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...FAILED
ALL MISSIONS SUSPENDED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
OR UNTIL OUR WOUNDS HEAL SUFFICIENTLY.
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...done!
I think I may have to change the rating...if this continues.
Crazy fangirls.
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