HELLO! I'm here! Next chapters here too! Smile about that and read it avidly! Enjoy it immensely if you will, no crying or anything like that!!
Disclaimer: The songs I've are not mine they are Avril Lavigne's – 'How does it feel', 'Nobody's Home', 'Forgotten' and 'Freak Out'
Anywho...
Enjoy!!
Chapter 11
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I am small and the world is big...
He felt tiny. He felt insignificant. He felt like he didn't matter. And he had a good reason to feel like that when compared to her...
All around me is fast moving...
Time. It's a funny word. Such a little word. Doesn't sound too important... sounds insignificant. But, oh god, it's anything but insignificant!...
Surrounded by so many things...
It's cluttered where he is. Not by physical things, things he can see and touch, but by ghosts of the dead, by shadows that press themselves upon him... devouring him...
Nashta Verada...
I couldn't tell you...
He didn't know the answer, he had no question. No one asked him anything. You can't have an answer without a question... can you?...
why she felt that way...
He thought he knew. He saw her in everything, she was always there. Always waiting, passing everything by, safe from the effects of linear time...
She wants to go home, but nobodies home...
They're all gone, he knows that because she knows. He feels alone because she feels alone. But he knows he's not alone because of them, he has a family; a strange, contradictory, annoyingly persistent one, but a family nonetheless.
And she could join his family and not be alone anymore... she could be happy...
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes... Broken inside...
She works as she always has, but something is missing, something's gone now and she's dead without it whilst she lives.
She can't die, so they need a compromise.
How do you save something already dead inside?...
I'm giving up on everything... Because you messed me up...
It's his fault, foolish power-crazed madman who thought the monsters were nice and friends his enemies. Such a fool and he's broken her, she failed and has now given in.
Dying a thousand deaths whilst listening to trillions crying out...
Do you get it now?...
Yes, he understands her. He will fix her, because everyone needs her. She must live, or everything will die...
Reality overcomes me, I'm living a lie...
Reality is overrated in his opinion. You become a pessimist if you listen to the truth in every situation. You need hope or you become broken...
He needs to give her hope back...
My heart is broken, I'm lying here, my thoughts are choking...
Breathe. Open your eyes. Feel the wind. See the horizon. Hear the birds. Watch a supernova. Observe a growing star. Let the Universe seep into your being and set you free...
Try to tell me what I shouldn't do, You should know by now, I won't listen to you...
He's not controlling you, he's guiding you, he's helping you. Let him help you the way you help him. He begs of her to listen to his words...
Stand up for yourself, And put up a fight...
'Against the darkness, against the unjust' he says 'but not against me'. Let him help you...
I can't ever run and hide...
'Then don't consider it a possibility' he calls, at a distance, he's going back now, 'Look to the future, whether linear or scattered look to it... don't fear it, embrace it... TARDIS...'
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"Ianto..."
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Well, it sounds nutsy – hmm, kind of like how I feel at the moment =P
I'm trying to wrap this up so the next few chapters MIGHT be longer, we'll just have to wait and see...
Do tell me what you think so far, reviews are always welcome...
Lyrics to the songs I've used are as below;
How does it Feel
I'm
not afraid of anything
I just need to know that i can breathe
I
don't need much of anything
But suddenly, suddenly
I am
small and the world is big
All around me is fast moving
Surrounded
by so many things
But suddenly, suddenly
[Chorus]
How
does it feel, to be different from me?
Are we the same?
How
does it feel, to be different from me?
Are we the same?
How
does it feel?
I'm young, and I am free
But I get tired, and
I get weak
I get lost, and I can't sleep
But suddenly,
suddenly
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
Would
you comfort me
Would you cry with me;
Ahh, ahh, ahh-ah
ahh,
ahh-ah
ahh, ahh-ah
ahh, ahh-ah
Ahh, ahh, ahh-ah
ahh,
ahh-ah
ahh, ahh-ah
ahh, ahh-ah
I am small and the world
is big
But
I'm not afraid of anything;
[Chorus x2]
[Ending
(background)]
How
does it feel [x2]
Different
from me, different...
(ahh, ahh, ahh-ah;
ahh-ah,
ahh-ah,
ahh,
ahh, ahh-ah;
ahh-ah,
ahh-ah)
Nobody's Home
I
couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And
I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes
again.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many
problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She
wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken
inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her
eyes.
Broken inside.
Open your eyes and look outside, find
the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what
you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many
problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She
wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken
inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her
eyes.
Broken inside.
Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams
she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She
can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from
grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh
She wants to go
home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With
no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken
inside.
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's
lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
Forgotten
Ah
ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah
I'm giving up on everything
Because
you messed me up
Don't know how much you
Screwed it up
You
never listened
That's just too bad
Because I'm moving on
I
won't forget
You were the one that was wrong
I know I need to
step up and be strong
Don't patronize me
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah
[Chorus:]
Have
you forgotten
Everything that I wanted
Do you forget it
now
You never got It
Do you get it now
Yea yea yea yea
yea
Yea yea yea yea yea
Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah
ah
Gotta get away
There's no point in thinking about
yesterday
It's too late now
It won't ever be the same
We're
so different now
Yea yea yea yea yea
[Chorus]
I
know I wanna run away
I know I wanna run away
Run away
If
only I could run away
If only I could run away
Run away
I
told you what i wanted I
I told you what i wanted
What I
wanted
But I was forgotten
I won't be forgotten
Never
Again
[Chorus (2x)]
Forgotten
Yeah
yeah yeah
Forgotten
Yeah yeah yeah
Forgotten
Yeah yeah
yeah
Forgotten
Yeah yeah yeah
Freak Out
Try
to tell me what I shouldn't do
You should know by now,
I won't
listen to you
Walk
around with my hands up in the air
Cause I don't care
Cause I'm alright, I'm fine
Just freak out, let it go
I'm gonna
live my life
I can't ever run and hide
I won't
compromise
Cause I'll never know
I'm gonna close my
eyes
I can't watch the time go by
I won't keep it inside
Freak
out, let it go
Just freak out, let it go
You don't always
have to do everything right
Stand up for yourself
And put up a
fight
walk around with your hands up in the air
Like you
don't care
Cause I'm alright, I'm fine
Just freak out,
let it go
I'm gonna live my life
I can't ever run and hide
I
won't compromise
Cause I'll never know
I'm gonna close my
eyes
I can't watch the time go by
I won't keep it inside
Freak
out, let it go
On my own
Let it go
Yeah, yeah,
yeah
Just let me live my life
I can't ever run and hide
I
won't compromise
Cause I'll never know
I'm gonna close my
eyes
I can't watch the time go by
I won't keep it inside
Freak
out, let it go
Gonna freak out, let it go
Gonna freak out,
let it go
