So here we are on Chapter 12!!! Ok, compared to the last chapter this is uber mellow. It is on the shorter side (especially compared to ch. 11- I have a feeling EVERYTHING from here on out is gonna be compared to 11)… I hope you enjoy it!! Again thank you to my readers with your comments, criticisms, and advice- you know I love it!!

So I made a timeline of the chappies left and there are only about 6 MAYBE 7 chappies left! What are we gonna do?!?!

ENJOY!!

Chapter 12

Nothing…

The day after her dangerous encounter with Death, Elisabeth made certain that she was never left alone again. Rudy, a friend, an assistant- it didn't matter who. In town, the palace, her bedroom, the forest, the theatre- it didn't matter where. Wherever she went, there was always someone by her side. No one knew why the new President's wife was acting in such a peculiar way, but no one ever questioned her.

Proud as she was, Elisabeth never spoke of her actions. She knew exactly what she was doing. After her final visitation with her Dark Prince, Elisabeth had finally realized that she was dependent on him. Her very life depended on him and whether or not he decided, at that moment, to let her live or die. She had realized it… but she refused to accept it. She would not give Death the satisfaction of her giving in to him.

During this time, Elisabeth also began to take part in the high society protocol of Vienna. She was expected to attend dinner ceremonies, charities, visit schools and hospitals, always being pleasant and beautiful. In public, not a hair could be out of place, a smile was always plastered to her perfect face, and her style was always up to date with the ever changing times. As beautiful as she appeared to the eye, there was a sadness in her eyes that grew with each passing day- a sadness which no one ever took notice of.

She would watch as families played together in the parks- husband and wife laughing as they watched their little boy or little girl playing with the other children. She thought of Rudy and how he had been cheated of his childhood. He never had any friends. He never played. He was never a child. Always a man. Elisabeth would see young girls talking about boys and getting married. She thought of herself at that age- no thoughts of boys or marriage. She wanted to warn the young girls, "Be careful. Do it for Love… nothing else." She would see men and women in love and she would think of Joseph. She had been in love with Joseph many years ago. But she had quickly fallen out of love. And now she loved…

"Ma'am?" a voice whispered to Elisabeth.

Elisabeth turned her head from the car window. She had been staring at the pedestrians, daydreaming. She looked at her assistant with waiting eyes.

"We're here," her assistant said with a smile.

"Thank you," Elisabeth said with a small smile. Another hospital. It had been over a year since her husband had won the Presidency. She had visited countless charities, read books to children at hundreds of schools, and had now begun to visit the countries hospitals. This was the third one she was visiting in the last two weeks and she was slowly growing weary of meeting all the sick and dying. They viewed her as something like a god, and it made her feel nothing short of uncomfortable.

Elisabeth made her way through the automatic doors, her shoes tapping along the floor. As soon as she entered the waiting area, seven children were there to greet her. They had a sign, "Welcome Miss Elisabeth," and flowers for her. After posing with the children for publicity shots, she was able to sit and talk with them. This was the time that she enjoyed. The children were so innocent and seemed to admire her. She never felt needed or loved with Joseph and the others in the palace, so meeting with the children of Vienna made her heart feel light and full of joy. During these times, the smile on her face was not an act but authentic.

After meeting with the children, she was taken to the burn clinic. There she offered words of encouragement to the men, women, and children who were suffering from scarring, burn wounds, and trauma. She felt heartbroken. These people admired her and loved her so much and yet, she could do nothing for them. Nothing but give them a smile and an encouraging word.

After the maternity ward, the Emergency Room, and the ICU, Elisabeth was led to the psychiatric ward. Apparently, there was only one patient there that she was going to see. A young girl about 25 years of age who greatly admired Elisabeth.

"Here we are!" the nurse said, cheerfully, as she motioned Elisabeth into the room.

There sitting in a chair was a woman with wild brown hair. She was dressed in a lovely dress that one would not expect to see on a patient in a hospital- black, sleeveless, slimming. She held a wine glass in her hand which held, what appeared to be water. One may have suspected her for being a normal woman of high society, save for her face. It looked as if a child had applied the make up to her face- bright red circles on her cheeks, bright blue shadow over her eyes, and ruby red lipstick that had escaped beyond her lips. But what was more haunting was her eyes. Her eyes held no life, no laughter, no joy within their orbs. They were empty and stared off into a vacant abyss.

Elisabeth took several steps into the room. She turned to the nurse who had accompanied them and asked:

"What's her name?"

"Oh," the nurse said, suddenly looking uncomfortable. "She tells us her name is-"

"This is ridiculous!"

Elisabeth turned her head to the high pitched voice. The lifeless eyes of the woman before her were boring into her face. The woman looked furious.

"Who does she think she is?!" the woman cried as she stood up and looked at the nurse.

"I'm sorry?" Elisabeth asked as she took a tentative step towards the woman.

"That cannot be the President's wife!" she cried as she threw the contents of her wine glass in Elisabeth's face. Elisabeth's assistant and body guards came forward to rush to her aid. Putting up a hand to stop them from harming the woman, she looked back. "She must be insane!" she cried as the nurses restrained her arms. "I," she said looking straight into Elisabeth's eyes. "Am Elisabeth!"

The nurses, apologizing, began to take the girl away.

"Wait!" Elisabeth cried, taking a step towards the restrained woman. "Let me talk to her."

Elisabeth wanted to know what this woman felt. What she must be thinking. She was "insane" but was it better put that she was free? Elisabeth was scared and confused but at the same time she wanted to know what this woman was thinking. Surely this woman knew that she, Elisabeth, was the President's wife. Not a soul in Austria didn't know her name!

"Look at me," Elisabeth began. The girl, staring blankly into her eyes simply repeating everything she was saying. "Don't you recognize me?" she asked in desperation. Elisabeth walked up to the girl who was still restrained. She knew that this girl knew that she was not Elisabeth, the President's wife. And if she didn't know, well she was about to learn. She hissed at the woman, "I am the President's wife, Elisabeth."

"Liar!" the woman screamed in Elisabeth's face, trying to bite her. "I am the President's wife!" she continued to scream as Elisabeth fell to the floor trying to escape the madwoman. Her bodyguard helped her to her feet, as the crazed woman before them screamed, "Lock her up! She's crazy!"

"Get her out of here!" the nurse cried.

Elisabeth watched with wide eyes as the girl was carried out the door. She stared at the empty doorway, long after the woman had passed through it.

"Oh," she whispered, tears blurring her vision. "I wish I could be like you…"

*****************************************************************************************************************************

"I'm so sorry," the nurse apologized as Elisabeth was walking out of the building. "We had no idea that she-"

"It's alright," Elisabeth said quietly. "Thank her for me."

The nurse looked at Elisabeth, perplexed, and nodded. With a small smile, Elisabeth turned to the street and the open car door waiting for her. As her driver ushered her in, Elisabeth stopped him and said:

"I think I'm going to walk back."

Elisabeth slowly began to walk down the streets back to the palace. She knew she wasn't alone- she could hear her assistant's tiny footsteps several yards behind her. The walk home would be long but that was fine with Elisabeth- she wanted time to think.

How she wished she could be like that woman. In that hospital they only restrained her arms, not her mind. Her hopes, her dreams, her fantasies, her life. Her life was hers to live whether it be as an ordinary woman or Elisabeth, the First Lady. Elisabeth almost laughed to herself. Why would anyone want to be her? She was damned. Cursed. Loved by all, even Death. But she, Elisabeth, hated being who she was. That crazed woman, locked up in a hospital had more freedom than Elisabeth would ever know. She had no say on who she saw, where she went, what she wore, how to spend her time. The life of the President's wife was full of time spent with others- she could never do what she wanted. Elisabeth hated to admit it, but Death had been right. She was so proud of the fact that Joseph had become the President and that she had become the First Lady. But with the triumph came more rules, more laws, more expectations. They were all traps to keep Elisabeth bound tight.

She had fought so hard to win the life she was now living. She had lived for over 30 years now. She hadn't accomplished any goals, seen any dreams come true. After all the suffering and fighting she had done nothing with her life so far. The crazed woman masquerading as her had probably done more with her life than she, Elisabeth, had.

Was the only way to be truly free through madness? It seemed fitting. That woman was as mad as they came and yet her mind and soul were free to do whatever they pleased. Elisabeth was held prisoner by the belief and ethic system that had been branded in her memory. She was afraid to allow herself to succumb to the dark maddening world of insanity. As a result, would she ever be free?

Since she couldn't allow herself to lose her mind she would keep it. She would appear strong to those who needed her and looked up to her. She would be a model for young girls and women to look up to. She would maintain the beauty she knew she had. She would stop fighting the life she had fought to obtain and use it to her advantage. Help the needy. Heal the sick. Feed the hungry.

Elisabeth reached the gate to the palace with a sound mind. Her mind at peace knowing what she would do with what God had given her. She entered the living quarters in the palace and went into the dining hall. She hoped to catch Joseph so she could talk to him about possibly building a mental hospital separated from the hospital so the patients would receive better care. Upon entering the room, Elisabeth saw Rudy sitting alone at the table, finishing his dinner.

"Rudy?" Elisabeth asked. "Where's your father?"

Without looking up from his food he replied, "He said he went out and that he's going to be late so no one should wait up for him."

"Alright," Elisabeth whispered as she turned around and started heading down the hall to her room, her assistant still in tow.

As Elisabeth passed the grand foyer where guests were always greeted at parties, she spotted something on the shelf by the door. Elisabeth walked up in order to see what exactly had caught her eye. A shimmering gold ring.

"Joseph's wedding ring?" Elisabeth said to herself as she picked it up. Elisabeth lightly touched the string of pearls around her neck. She spun around to her assistant. "Make sure the President gets this. He lost it and must be looking everywhere for it."

"Yes ma'am."

Elisabeth turned around and started for her bedroom. With a furrowed brow she thought to herself, 'Where would Joseph be without his wedding ring?'

********************************************************************************************************************************