TWAZOID- WHAT IF IT WERE INTERESTING

Hey guys! Hope you like this chapter, I'm dishing them out for you all, though whats with the lack of reviews SPREAD THE DAMN WORD PEOPLE!! I WANT MY STORY TOLD, OF HOW THE HAIR FELL IN LOVE WITH THE HORSE.

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TWAZOID- 1800-I-HORSE-YOU

Bella yawned as she woke up in her vomit sheets. She should have felt worried that Edward looked like she was going to eat her, and he basically said that he wanted her soul. But instead she felt elated. And even as its been weeks since she say Edward- She knew because she counted and had an internal monologue that held as much emotion as a milk carton-She still wanted him to ride her. Because she's a horse that is.. What did i think i meant you sick F-..

"ELLIE!" turning around i looked at Kate, who was covered in some gooey substance.

"Uhh Kate.. you can't be in here. I'm WRITING" i gestured towards the small laptop on my bed.

"YES! you wrote me into a DEAD SCENE! YOU KILLED ME OFF!" she screamed, throwing a parrot at me.

"Obviously i didn't. Your talking are you not!" i shouted back, throwing Mario and Luigi at her.

"Because it was a MARSHMALLOW TRUCK!" she screamed.

"Oh well...Yes you see. hey hang on a second!" why am i typing this? THIS SHOULDN'T BE IN HERE! so because i am a god among characters im just going to do this.

Suddenly kate flew up into the sky and her final words echoed around the town "Go eat a watermelon!!!!!"

Any back to chapter.

Bella drove to school in her personality truck, glad to have made friends who were as boring as her. As she drove she wondered what it might have been like if she still lived in sunny Arizona. She imagined walking to school in a burker with an umbrella, making sure not a single drop of sunlight hit her. She clutched her Cacti to her chest, she probably should have put it down, but as she is so boring and obviously reminds us of a bobble head dog..or horse, she forgot to open the car door, and in turn smashed the cacti so it broke all over her. She sat in the car for about three hours, crying over the remains of her beloved Cacti.

Finally when it got to Nine O'clock Bella entered the school, walking beside Jessica Skanky and Mike Newtooth, her totally interesting friends.

"I'm going to class. Goodbye Jessica, enjoy your big boob top" Bella said, her deep voice startling Jeremy behind her who fell into a giant unneeded pot of jelly. Bella trotted up to the Jelly and nibbled it, but deciding it wasn't horse enough for her she walked away, her manly gait knocking over the jelly which then turned into a Armadillo, which then blew bubbles, which then set of the fire alarm, which then led Tarzan to come and fight it, which then made Kate come and dance in her "I'm With Horsey" top, which then pointed to Bella, which then leads us back to our story.

Bella walked into the biology class, and hung up her coat, exposing her odd pale skin in a town that barely gets any sunshine, when mike came up behind her and shock his hat full of water on her.

"How you like that? haha Arizona, how you like that! See how cool i am, and you just smile! LOOVE ME!" he shouted, only to be hit in the head by Eric, who possibly is the only different looking person.

Bella, to boring to express her self, remembered her fathers guiding words. "Bella. You are a Manly man, and a manly man is boring. Be a manly man, walk like a manly man, feel like a manly man" Oddly Bella turned and noticed her father siting under her teachers desk, holding a megaphone, whispering words like her subconscious mind. "Manly man..manly man..be a manly maaaannn..."

Walking over to her desk, Bella shifted her mane, hiding her long snout from the constantly staring Edward.

"Hello. I didn't introduce myself properly. I'm Edward, I'm a Virgin" he said, smiling. His eyes barely different, but oh so noticeably gold. "Your Bella. The girl who looks like a horse, the one i will fall in love with, just because i can't hear your thoughts."

Bella nodded her head, no matter that she been thinking about him for ages, she just bobbed her head.

"Opps, there was a breeze" she said, as her head kept bobbing, causing her to hit her head on the desk.

"Woooah there" he muttered grabbing her head and sniffing her neck. "You smell great. Like urine and pine. Perfect"

"I enjoy urine" Bella said. for no apparnt reason.

"I want to eat you" Edward muttered, staring hungraliy at Bella.

Bella sat very still for a second, then, for the first time in her whole life, gained a personality..well for a minute at least.

"you want to what!" she laughed, a mixture between a cough and a fit.

"I want to eat you. Its very simple" he said, confused.

"Eat me!" she shouted back at him.

"I shouldn't" he muttered, fiddling with his top. "Carlisle says it becomes addictive".

And while this exchange went on, two people were under different assumptions, she thinking he meant it in a good/bad way, him thinking he meant it in a 'i wanna bite you and drink your blood way'. But as we all love Bella boring, she quickly came back to herself.

"Well. It was nice talking to you Edward, i have to leave now with my headphones in my nose" and she galloped away, not before raising her tail and letting out a lovely waft of smell for the class.

Bella stood at her personality Ute, looking pale, boring and gay-HAPPY! SHEEZ- listening to her ipod, if only she noticed she had parked the car in a NO PARK ZONE.

suddenly, a car came spinning around the bend, barely big enough to kill a mouse, and actually a mouse was in the car!

"Watch out Bella!" shouted Tyler, while his remote controlled V8 went over the speed limit, and hit a remain of marshmallow, no thanks to Kate!

If Bella had a brain she would have moved, she could seriously hurt her shin with the speed it was going! but instead she stood there, let out a nervous gas, and waited for the doom to hit her.

Instead a tree fell down and knocked out Edward, whom was attached to a ricochet that he pulled out his pocket to launch him at Bella. The tress smashed into a thousand pieces and Edwards face landed on Bella's....Aircoushins.

"ARGE!" Edward shouted! "i got to second third base!"

Bella sat on the cold floor, staring at Edward who quickly lept away, a happy swagger to his step, as he had just felt man boob.

"Bella! Bella! Are you Okay!" Jacob shouted, appearing out of nowhere with a "TEAM JACOB" shirt on and a fluffy tail.

"I am fine. I was saved by Edward. He is Fast" she said, he eyes going crisscross as a fly landed on her nose.

"I LOVE YOU BELLA!" Jacob shouted, eating the fly off her nose.

Kate popped out of the field, holding a big Bling Bling necklace that said 'Writers Block' and placed it around my neck, shouting "IT'S MY TURN TO BE THE AUTHOR FWHAHHAHAHAHA".

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Yes well. Writers block, no doubt. And here is kate, Take it away kate with CHAPTER FOUR.

dun dun DUN DUN!
i like reviews better then insulting horses =]