TWAZOID- MANLY MEN HAVE MOUSTACHES

Okay, big thanks to Kate whom wrote this! YEHAW

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Three seconds later…
Charlie stormed into the hospital in which Bella was resting, flinging the doors open and knocking out a nurse, "Bella. You had me worried. But now that I see you are okay, I must go back to my work as police chief of a town nobody cares about. Because I am a manly man, and manly men have manly jobs." As Charlie walked towards the doors just as Doctor Carlizzle entered the room in a very non manly fashion, with his hands held at his waist and carrying a bag containing a Chihuahua.
"Ah, Doctor Cullen! You're a manly man; because Cullen's are manly men..."Charlie stated, but was cut off by a high pitched giggle. "Oh, Mr. Swan, you flatter me, but call me Carlizzle, dear." Carlizzle interjected, leaving a puzzled look on Charlie's manly face. "Now I really must attend to your…" Carlizzle recoiled in horror as he glanced up at Bella, and came face to face with an expressionless horse. "HORSE?!" Carlizzle shrieked, causing the Chihuahua to jump out of the handbag and throw itself out the window.
"NOOOO! Not Mr. Fuzzenstein!" Carlizzle Cried, arms outstretched to the CLOSED window, when suddenly Edwierd and Rosalbitch burst into the room, "What the hell is going on in here?" Questioned Rosalbitch loudly, making her Adams apple bob up and down like Bella in a tumble drier.
"Mr. Fuzzenstien! He committed suicide!" Carlisle sobbed then crawled to the corner of the room.
"Nobody cares about Mr. Fuzzenstien, You metro sexual weirdo!" Screamed Edwierd, "What we really care about is Bella! How are you, my horsey little… um, Bella." Edwierd Questioned.
Bella opened her mouth to reply, but Charlie answered for her; "Nobody cares about Horseface either. Edweird, you're a manly man. I bet you punched that car into pieces. As manly men do, because I would have done that, because I am a manly man." He stated, in a manly voice, because he is a man.

"Well technically, Bella saved me, with her…air cushions" Edweid answered.

"Edwierd," Charlie started, with a manly gleam in his eyes… (sexual much?), "I don't need technicality, I have a moustache, and manly men have moustaches. Because I am a manly man! You would understand this, because we are both manly men." Charlie finished, with a triumphant look upon his manly face.

"Dad, weren't you leaving?" Bella asked.
"That's Chief to you, horseface. Anyway, I best be off. MANLY MAN AWAAAY!" Charlie shouted, as he jumped out of the CLOSED window, landing on the giant armadillo and galloping off into the sunset.

"Well, your free to go." Carlizzle announced, running out the door in an extremely girly way before Rosalbitch whispered to Bella; "Oh, and don't go back to school, nobody likes you. Edwierd told me" and then she transformed into a frog and jumped out the CLOSED window.
"Edwierd, I want an explanation!" Bella demanded, bobbing her head up and down furiously, so when she stopped, she had to bend over to pick up her brain.

Whilst staring at Bella's ass (aha, horse, donkey), Edwierd mumbled under his breath; "imunna' get me summa' that fine horse booty". In gangsta' speak.
"Edwierd did you say something?" Bella asked, as she stuffed stray bits of brain up her nose and ears, only to sneeze, spraying brain juice and mucus all over Edwierds face. This made him rather erect… stand straight. INNUENDO. Edward shook his head and Bella went back to reassembling her brain.

"Edward, you stopped the remote control V8, you pushed it away with your..." Bella pondered this for a moment, "Wait, you didn't do anything! Dammit, you got hit by a tree! What is wrong with you?"
"I'm attracted to you because you smell like urine, mixed with the kernels 12 secret herbs and spices?" Edwierd replied uncertainly.
"Oh, good explanation, I mean, I wouldn't of been able to come up with that, on a count of me being incredibly boring... anywho, wanna make out?" Bella suggested.
"Yeah, um, about that" Edward mumbled, then pointed out the window, "Hey! It's Jesus!" He yelled, then ran out the doors, knocking out the nurse that just got up.
"What do you want?" Jesus asked angrily as he flew through the CLOSED window. "Wait. You! Horse, don't look at me like that! NOO." Jesus screamed as Bella ate his beard and jumped out the CLOSED window.
"God, someone should really open this window, someone could get seriously hurt". Jesus said as he opened the window. Just then, Ellie flew straight into the OPEN window, and landed with a thud in the garden.
"WHAT THE HELL?" Screamed Jesus, as he closed the window, and jumped out of it.