Words: 3,624

Notes: ...*looks at chapter title* I feel like I'm writing a stalker fic... (I should try that sometime ^^).

Where we left off: Matt's finally looking at his feelings for Tai in a new light, but their leader is still stuck in his nightmarish dreams. The others are worried--they have no idea about what's going on...

*

You Can't Hide Anymore

"Jyou! He won't wake up!"

"I can see that!" Jyou replied harshly, unable to keep his worry in check. Beside him, Matt instantly clamped his mouth shut, silenced.

Around them, the other digidestined watched fearfully. It had been agreed that not too many people could be right next to Tai—for his health, Jyou insisted—but the whole group was never far. They sat clustered together, each thinking their own panicked thoughts and supporting each other. Their leader had fallen.

Jyou, meanwhile, was trying to wake Tai up so as to give him much-needed food and water. Already, he had refused to swallow anything in unconsciousness. It was quickly becoming obvious that this was a serious situation, more so than any of them had expected.

"Okay, let's try that herb again," Jyou said calmly, referring to a plant the digimon had pointed out as being energising.

Matt handed the requested herb over without looking, all attention focused on the one who's hand was fiercely entwined with his own. Still, all he could do was have faith in Tai's ability to fight anything. All he could do was wait.

***

The soccer ball continued to bounce, leading Tai through the grey wasteland. Steadily, the world around him was growing darker, the black cloud growing. But he ignored it, trying to catch the ball in hopes of returning everything to normal.

Suddenly, the cloud fell, engulfing the world—and Tai—in shadows. No, if it were shadows, then that would mean there had to be light somewhere. There was no light in this new environment.

Tai froze, unable to see anything other than black. He couldn't see his hands, or even know where they were because he couldn't feel them anymore. It was like he'd lost his body and drifted into a black hole. The thought sent a shiver down his back.

Then a pinpoint of light appeared in front of him, blindingly bright compared to the darkness. Tai didn't know if he was moving toward it, or if it was coming to him, but regardless, the light grew. Soon it was the size of a CD, and if Tai looked hard enough, he could see a faint image inside it.

The image suddenly exploded, covering the cloud and everything else. At the sudden change Tai clenched his eyes shut, blocking out the too bright lights. Still, he felt nothing, like he didn't have a body. Thinking that everything must still be black, he opened his eyes once more, and froze.

He was watching himself again.

There his body lay, completely motionless, surrounded by the people he cared about. Matt was holding his body's hand, Jyou was trying to wake it up, and the others all sat off to the side, watching.

"Jyou! He won't wake up!" Matt's voice seemed muffled, like a giant blanket covered him. Tai figured it was because he was just a floating... something.

"I can see that!" Tai's theory was proved; Jyou's voice was also different. "Okay, let's try that herb again."

Tai watched curiously as Matt handed over a strange red plant, which Jyou crushed up and held near the motionless body. Somehow, Tai couldn't think of it as his own. Whatever Jyou wanted to happen obviously wasn't, because his hands clenched and he threw the plant to the side.

Don't worry, guys, Tai wanted to say, but nothing came out. Without a body, he couldn't even take out his frustration on anything.

Then something caught his attention. A large, shadowy creature stood at the edge of the scene, just beyond his friends. It had no definite form, but seemed like a mix of nightmarish creatures, always shifting form. It was something Tai had only ever imagined. The creature seemed to be looking right at him, as if the two of them were the only ones there.

What are you? Tai thought to himself, staring at the creature.

~It's time to go to sleep~ a whisper told him, echoing in his mind alone.

What?

~It's time to stop fighting~ the same whisper answered. Somehow, Tai simply knew that it was the shadow talking to him.

Stop fighting what? Tai asked, once more in his mind.

~Stop fighting me. It will make everything much better for you. The pain will leave.~

Pain? Tai suddenly felt all of the pain from the real world rushing into him, causing his mind to forget everything. He couldn't wonder why he could feel such physical pain when he didn't have a body, or why the pain was real but he still couldn't scream. All he could do was endure it.

~Stop fighting and the pain will leave~

As soon as his mind recognised those words, Tai realised the situation. He understood that this creature was the source of his pain, but more-so, he understood that he couldn't let the shadow have its control.

I won't stop fighting! He thought fiercely, his mind-voice full of determination despite the unbearable pain.

The whisper-voice laughed, and the pain increased.

~I can already control parts of you. You're too far gone to win~ To prove his words, the shadow began walking forward, blocking Tai's pain long enough for him to focus on the scene.

Panting and shaking inwardly, Tai watched, trying to move but realising it wouldn't help. The shadow stood menacingly over his body, not at all noticeable to the people around it. Slowly, it reached an "arm" down, covering Tai's right hand and sinking in.

The body's hand twitched.

"Hey!" Agumon's muffled voice called, "I think he just moved!"

The hand slowly closed into a fist, catching everyone's attention.

"Tai?" Matt called hesitantly.

No! That's not me! Tai thought desperately, trying harder to reach the shadow but getting nowhere. It was covering more and more of Tai's prone body, seeping in. Tai watched, horrified, as his body opened its eyes without him.

"Tai! You're awake! Thank goodness," Matt's voice was so sincere that it sent a jolt of pain through Tai; he didn't want to hear such kindness directed at a shadow! Regardless, his body nodded in answer.

Jyou smiled with relief, "Are you in terrible pain?" The body shook its head. "That's good, we were all worried about you." When the body didn't answer, Tai realised what the shadow meant by saying he could only control parts—voice wasn't one of them.

The body lifted the hand currently held in Matt's. Tai watched with wide eyes as his body smirked and tightened its grip. Suddenly, Tai remembered the dream from before, when a shadow took his place and hurt his sister.

No... Tai thought fearfully, seeing his body's hand clenching even further.

Matt winced, "Tai, that hurts!"

The body's smirk widened. Its grip kept getting stronger, until Tai could actually hear the bones in Matt's hand shifting.

Stop it! Let go! Tai screamed in his mind, trying to focus entirely on waking up to stop the shadow. He heard a bone crack and suddenly, his own scream was in perfect harmony with Matt's. His world once more exploded.

***

Jyou watched, horrified, as Tai broke Matt's hand with a smirk on his face. He was frozen in place as Matt bit down on his lip to stifle the scream he had involuntarily let out. Then chaos erupted as Tai's body convulsed, the smirk disappearing instantly.

Kari was sobbing hysterically, frightened nearly to the point of fainting. She had never seen her brother hurt someone like that, and she definitely didn't want to see him thrashing around like he was about to die. Even Sora had silent tears streaking down her face while the others were frozen in shock.

The worst, though, was when Tai screamed.

Matt didn't know what to do. Tai had already let go of his now-broken hand, but he was almost afraid of touching the other. Especially after he had seen the malice in his best friend's face, the happiness at causing pain. The complete opposite to what he was like now.

Realising this, Matt steeled his determination and forced the pain as far away as possible. Using his left—unbroken—hand, he once more grabbed the other's hand, ignoring the fear of recurrence.

"Hey, it's okay," Matt whispered soothingly, squeezing his hand gently, "It'll pass. We're all here for you." His voice was soft, but still frightened. He didn't know what he was doing, he just knew he wanted Tai to calm down.

Amazingly, Tai began to do just that. The entire group watched, stunned, as their leader quieted under Matt's touch. Tears rolled down his tanned cheek, but he forced he body to be still, forced the shadow away.

"Yama?" He finally spoke, his question barely heard.

"Hey Tai."

The tears fell faster, "I'm sorry, Yama. I'm sorry! I couldn't stop him! Not in time! I'm sorry!" Even though his voice was frantic and desperate, it was still hardly above a whisper, as if it couldn't make any more sound than that.

Matt was, needless to say, confused. Regardless, he tightened his own grip and smiled gently, "It doesn't matter. I'm fine."

Tai shook his head insistently, refusing to believe the lie. He was about protest when a small body nearly pounced on him, sobbing.

Gasping from the weight and added pain, Tai did everything in his power to try and move his right arm, eventually managing to drape it across his sister's body. She continued to cry, letting out everything and Tai just let her, pain or no pain.

Jyou coughed awkwardly and turned to the group, "I think we should, uh, fetch some firewood or something. You know, for the fever."

Koushiro nodded, "Yes, firewood is a good idea."

The rest of the group easily agreed, leaving the area for the sake of their friends' privacy as well as to think over what had just happened.

"Send Agumon when I can check on Tai," Jyou called over his shoulder.

Silence fell over the remaining four, broken only by Kari's heavy sobbing.

After a few awkward moments, Matt finally asked the question that had been bothering him, "What's going on, Tai?"

So Tai told him everything.

***

"It must have been from one of the weapons."

"Yeah, like a poison or something."

"A poison that makes shadow-people?"

"No... that's not right..."

"A poison that controls people."

A gasp. "You don't think that Tai's gonna lose his body do you?!"

"No way! Tai's stronger than that!"

"But look at how much pain he's been in..."

"That's it!" Koushiro suddenly exclaimed, "That's what the poison does! It weakens the person so that it can control them!"

Everyone's eyes widened in understanding, even TK's, who had been sitting silently since all of this started to happen. Agumon had told everyone what he had learned from Tai, also sending Jyou back. Mimi, Sora and Koushiro had been discussing the subject since then, while TK sat on the sidelines and listened.

He was frightened with the whole situation, and angry at what happened to his brother. Deep down he didn't really blame Tai, but hearing his brother's pain-filled scream had triggered a need to justify everything. Now, with everyone worrying over Tai and forgetting about what he had done, TK was furious. It wasn't fair in his opinion. But the others ignored him, not even looking for his opinions because he was too young.

With these bitter thoughts in mind, TK silently slipped away from the group, heading towards his brother subconsciously. His steps were laden with anger, with loneliness. But as soon as his brother—and Tai—came into view, he froze.

Jyou had already tended to Matt's hand, and moved on to checking over Tai. Kari was seemingly asleep, curled up at her older brother side, and Matt's face was lined with worry.

I don't understand, TK thought, a sudden well of tears building up, why does he care so much? Didn't Tai hurt him? Why is he paying more attention to him than me?

Feeling left out and alone, TK tried very hard not to cry. This was made difficult when Jyou moved away from Tai with a sigh and Matt was instantly at the wild-haired boy's side.

"What do we do, Jyou? What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know. The best we can do is fight the fever but..." The doctor-to-be looked down dejectedly.

A weak laugh caught TK's attention, "Don't worry about it, guys. It's better than before."

Silence fell over everyone as Tai's encouragement sunk in because they all knew it wasn't true. Still, their leader wouldn't let them think about it if he could help it. TK was torn between admiring Tai for that and still being angry.

"You guys have to go get something to eat," Tai pointed out, his voice so soft that TK barely heard it.

Of course, Jyou and Matt protested, but with a single pointed look, Tai shut them up, "Now, before you wake up Kari, or I swear I'll get up and find you food myself."

"But we can't just leave you alone, Tai!"

A sudden urge pushed TK to step forward, "I'll watch him. I already ate."

The gratefulness in Matt's eyes sent a pang of sadness through his younger brother, "Thanks, Teeks. I'll be back as soon as I can." TK nodded and watched the two digidestined leave, returning his attention back to Tai.

For a moment, neither spoke, each searching the other's eyes for some unknown clue to what they were thinking. TK involuntarily looked over his leader, noticing the constant shivers and laboured breathing. The young boy had always hated to see people in pain, and this case was no different.

No! I don't want to have sympathy for him!!

Trying to hold onto his anger, TK made to yell at Tai for hurting his brother.

"Can I do anything to help?" To his dismay, his own mouth betrayed him by saying something completely different.

Tai sighed, "I'm fine. I don't deser—I don't need help."

Being a very perceptive young boy, TK had easily picked up Tai's true feelings, and suddenly he didn't want to yell at the other. His anger faded completely, the innocence of a child once more coming to the front.

"Why wouldn't you deserve help?"

"..." Brown eyes looked anywhere but into TK's.

"Tai?"

"I hurt him, that's why." They both knew who he was talking about.

Earlier, TK would have used this chance to get his revenge on Tai for taking away his brother's attention, but now all he wanted to do was help. Accepting this, TK put on a bright smile.

"But didn't you say a shadow-thing was controlling you?"

For a moment, Tai was silent, then: "I should've stopped it sooner."

"Maybe you couldn't!"

"Maybe... why don't you hate me, TK?"

The young boy shrugged, "I guess it's not your fault, so I can't hate you."

Tai closed his eyes, smiling, "But you did, right? You should. Everyone should. If it gets control of me..." And the smile faded, the shaking increasing, "If it takes over me, someone has to get rid of me. Anyone."

"NO!" TK suddenly yelled, surprising himself, "It won't control you! We won't let it!"

Tai laughed, even as tears crept through his closed eyes, "You're right! It won't win." But even TK knew that the only reason the other said this was to keep everyone else's hope up.

A noise caught both boys attention, and they looked up to see Matt returning with a plate of light foods. With one last meaningful look sent to Tai, TK left, heading back to the other group. He had an idea, now all he had to do was make the others listen.

As he expected, they were still trying futilely to figure out what the cause was. They had agreed on a poisoned weapon that weakens the host, but they didn't know what kind of poison or what the end results would be.

"What if it's not meant to control people? Maybe it's just meant to make them attack their friends."

"I hope not."

"I still think it's about control, or else why would Tai say there was a shadow-creature?"

"Oh, yeah."

TK shook his head; hadn't they already went through all this? Clearing his throat, the boy tried to get the other's attention, "Hey guys?"

"But what if the shadow-creature is trying to trick us?"

"Guys?"

"It doesn't matter, it still proves there's a shadow."

"Guys!!"

"What? Can't you see we're busy TK?" Mimi stated with annoyance.

Nearly growling, TK ignored her comment, "I have an idea."

Sora perked up, kneeling down to get level with TK, "What is it?" In her opinion, anything would help by that point.

"I think we should find the antidote."

Koushiro sighed, "We've been trying, but we don't even know—"

"No," TK said exasperatedly, shaking his head, "I mean we should actually find one. It happened at the castle, right? So they probably have the cure!"

A proverbial lightbulb suddenly went off over everyone's head.

"Of course!"

Koushiro was practically bouncing up and down, "Then even if there isn't an antidote, they've got to have more poison, right? We can make one! Why didn't we think of this before?"

"Because we didn't ask TK," Sora smiled, ruffling the younger boy's hair. TK just smiled brightly. It felt a lot better to be part of the solution than to be angry at the problem.

The group's discussion finally turned to something productive.

***

"Yama," Tai groaned, "There's no point, I can't keep it down."

Sighing, Matt put the plate of food on the ground, "C'mon, Tai. You have to try."

"But I'm not hungry."

"Well you should be!" Matt growled fiercely, unable to control his wild emotions, "You haven't eaten in days and you need some sort of strength if you're going to get over this shadow-fever thing!"

"...I'll try," Tai whispered, defeated.

Matt instantly regretted his outburst, trying to tell himself it was worth it to see Tai eat. The boy in question tried to sit up, knowing it was a worthless battle but too stubborn to give up. Realising this, the blond gently slid behind the other, allowing his chest to be used like the back of a chair. Exhausted from just trying to sit up, Tai sighed miserably.

"I'm going to kick this shadow's butt from here to our world for this," Tai mumbled, earning a laugh from him blond friend.

"Sure Tai, just eat first."

He did, though the food made his stomach churn at the mere sight of it. He chewed and swallowed as quickly as possible, trying not to think about anything other than keeping it down. There was no taste or enjoyment from eating like there should have been. Tai had barely made it through the plate of rice crackers when he finally surrendered, moaning softly as his good arm curled around his stomach.

"I can't do this anymore, Yama," he admitted shakily, clamping his mouth shut when he felt the beginnings of bile rise up. Matt didn't know how to respond other than by showing Tai his constant support. He wasn't sure if he was proud or disappointed by how much the other had eaten, so he decided just not to think about it.

Unfortunately, things didn't seem to be getting any better for Tai as he practically folded himself into a ball, determined not to throw up no matter how much his body told him too. He didn't know if his stomach was revolting from the pain, the food or the stress—probably a mix of all three.

Feeling awkward—he'd never taken care of a sick person before, darn it!—Matt tried his best to be helpful; "Maybe you should lie down and get some rest."

Tai's unexpected reaction, however, was sudden and intense as he vehemently shook his head, "Not yet!"

"Why not?" Matt ground out, pushing back the twinges of annoyance he felt.

"Because I'm not ready! I know I don't have a choice, and I know that running won't solve anything, but I don't want to face it yet! I'd much rather be spewing my guts here than in the stupid shadow's void of nothingness!"

"What are you talking about?!" Blue eyes blazed, fear guiding his words more than anger, "What happened to the leader who acted first and thought later? Where did the digidestined of courage go, the one who made us all face our fears and carry on?"

Tai's tormented gaze looked back, first at Matt and then down at his bandage-wrapped hand, "He fought with his friends, to keep them safe. I don't want to be the reason that my friends need protection. At least here I'm not a threat. At least here I can't fail."

As the soft-spoken words sunk in, Tai returned to his ball, the added activity having sent his stomach into new havoc. His confession hung in the air, nearly palpable between the two boys. Suddenly, comfort was spreading through him, originating from the soothing hand buried in his hair.

"You won't fail, Tai. You'd never let us get hurt."

Somewhere, deep down inside himself, Tai dared to believe his best friend.