Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Dead Poets Society... I am just inspired by it.
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When we get back upstairs, we each grab a Hershey bar and look at our letters again. "You know," I say thoughtfully, "if we write back tonight, there's a chance we can get them mailed right away. Chris might come up tomorrow afternoon. If she does, we can give her the letters and she can drop them in a mail box when she goes home."
Todd beams. "Great idea! Let's hope she does come up." He mangles the empty pizza box into something that will fit into the wastebasket, then sits at his desk and pulls out his writing paper.
I line the empty Coke bottles up in the window, since I'll be able to return them for my deposit the next time I get to go to town. Then I take out my paper and start writing.
Oh Captain, my Captain,
I'm very glad and grateful to hear back from you. Grateful that you don't blame me for what happened, and very glad to know that you are still in the profession that I know you love so well. I hope you do get the position at Berkeley. It sounds as though it would suit you admirably. And beyond that, I hope you're well.
As to how we got your new address... would you believe I found it? No, I didn't think you would. I confess, I went snooping through the files looking for it. I know, it seems hard to believe, doesn't it, that I would be the one to do such a thing. But I did. I wanted to do something nice for Todd, and I knew he'd appreciate being able to write to you. And I figured, correctly, that I'd be able to talk my way out of demerits if I got caught in the Dean's office. He's still covering your old classes, so I excused myself for being there by asking him to recommend a classmate to tutor me. Fortunately, I'd already closed the files by the time he arrived. That might have been a little harder to explain away.
I'm sure you've heard that Knox and Chris are officially an item now. Meeks and Pitts seem to have found girlfriends as well. Amy and Tina both go to Henley Hall, and both are very interested in electronics, of all things. Apparently, Amy's father worked on the development of the integrated circuit, and also on the EDVAC. Meeks and Pitts are both looking forward to meeting the man. I won't pretend I have more than a vague inkling of what they keep talking about, but I did manage to figure out that Amy's father is a leader in the electronics field. I know both of them want to go into that field, so having a contact like that is bound to help them.
About my dream... that's also going to be a little difficult to explain, my Captain. The problem isn't so much what I want to be as opposed to what my father expects me to be... he wants me to go into the FBI, just as he's grooming my older brother to enter the political arena once he has some experience as a lawyer. I think I'd prefer to be a doctor. Father would be disappointed, I think, but would probably understand that.
The problem is with what I am, as opposed to what I'm supposed to be. There's no truly delicate way of saying this, so I'm going to be blunt. I'm queer. That is why I suspect that I'll be breaking with my family. I doubt my father will be supportive once that becomes known. But I'm not willing to hide it, at least not once I've graduated from Welton. A big part of why I was such a jerk is because I purposely tried to keep everyone at arm's length. I didn't want anyone to get close enough to me that they might guess.
But that's changed now, because of Todd. He and I... we're more than just friends, my Captain. I... we both hope that this won't disgust you into breaking off the correspondence. We're going to try to make it through to graduation without anyone finding out. We figure we can manage to work our way through college if we need to. Who knows? Perhaps we'll even end up coming out to San Fransisco after graduation. I've heard rumors about it... that queers are somewhat accepted there... at least, they're not routinely beaten up for existing.
But that's the dream that will likely cause me to break with my family... the dream that Todd and I will share a life together after we're out of Hell-ton. I'll join you in hoping that the break won't happen. But that's really up to them. Once I've graduated from here, I'm done pretending to be what I'm not.
Your friend,
Richard Cameron
I fold my letter up and place it in an envelope, sticking a stamp on the front and writing in Mr. Keating's address. I glance over at Todd, who is still scribbling busily. I'm not surprised. I've never been as good with words as he is. I smile a bit, watching him as he writes, admiring his profile. He catches me looking as he folds up his letter and blushes.
"What?" he asks.
"Just... I like looking at you," I say, with a blush of my own.
He ducks his head shyly, smiling.
I glance at the clock and see that it's almost curfew time. "We should probably take advantage of the pass day, and get into the john before everyone else starts piling in at the last possible moment."
He nods and stands up, stretching a bit. "That's probably a good thought."
We wash up and head back to the room to change for bed. And as usual now, we climb into the same one, the both of us sleeping better for the presence of the other.
"Night, Richard."
"Night, Todd."
We kiss softly, then spoon together under the blanket, him curled against me and my arm over his middle as we cuddle close and drift gently into sleep.