It turned out that during the night Edward had run to Seattle. We hardly saw him when he came in the house to change for school, and he never spoke to us. Alice explained it to us when we came downstairs in the early glow of the morning, telling us what she had seen.
"He ran to Seattle, and spent a few hours running the boarder of the city, before turning home," she had said worriedly. "He will go again tonight."
And she was right. It seemed to us that it was a growing habit, as every day after returning home, he would park the car, maybe share a greeting with Carlisle if he were home, and then run to Seattle.
"Carlisle, things can't go on like this," Jasper said quietly one evening, about two weeks after Edward had first gone to Seattle. Emmett and Rosalie were sat on the sofa together, hands entwined and having one of their moments. It was rather sweet. Alice and Jasper were standing together in the corner, Alice's head and hands resting on his chest, his cheek pressed on the top of her head and arms wrapped around her tiny frame.
"I know," he sighed. He was sat at the bottom of the stairs, while I stood beside the wall of glass and stared out over the garden. Over the past week, things had changed. Alice had more mood swings, which quietened Jasper even more than usual. The pair of them were silent almost all of the time, and never left each others side. Emmett and Rosalie had had more arguments, almost two every day, which then led to loud, energetic sex, which seemed to shake the whole house. Carlisle had hardly looked at me in days, and we had barely spoken. I had no idea why, and it hurt me so. I didn't know what to make of it.
"So what do you suggest?" Emmett asked from the sofa, pulling away from Rosalie's gaze. "Is there really anything we can do?"
"We could try talking to him," I said quietly, not meeting anyone's gaze and instead focusing on the floor.
I heard Alice sigh. "I thought that too. But I saw, that as per, he would not listen. So there really is no point."
"Why do we even bother?" Carlisle sighed. He sounded annoyed. I glanced up at him, but he turned away from us all.
"Carlisle, are you ok?" Jasper asked nervously.
"Oh yes, perfect," he snorted. What was wrong with him? He was usually so composed, calm and understanding! What was happening?
"Carlisle?" Rosalie asked worriedly. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?" he repeated, swinging round suddenly to face us all. "What's wrong? Well, let's see, shall we? To start with, I am a vampire, which, as pointed out by my dear son, means my soul has been lost. Secondly, I crave blood, thirst rules our lives! And then there is the fact that I can hardly do my job without half a dozen female nurses and doctors hanging round me, watching my every move and oggling, not to mention that if nature had it its own way I would be sucking the blood of every patient that came under my care! And to top it off, one of my sons is rejecting us all, ignoring his family and turning his back on me, as I try my hardest to help, but he would prefer to suffer, make this harder for everyone!" he shouted. His face was angry, glaring at each and every one of us in turn. We all sat in shock for a moment. None of us had ever heard Carlisle like this, never had he even come close to what he was at that moment. He looked like the vampire he truly was, and it scared me.
"Carlisle?" I asked timidly.
"What?" he snarled, glaring at me. That look, that tone, it brought back terrifying memories to me, and suddenly I panicked. Terrified, I turned and ran flat out, past my children, out of the house and across the lawns and into the forest. I didn't hesitate when I heard calls after me, fear had taken over and nothing was going to stop me.
After ten minutes of running, I stopped. What was I doing? Carlisle would never hurt me, never hurt anyone, least of all his family. You silly woman, get back there! I thought to myself. But something about his expression, the way he had looked at me, dragged memories from my past up to the surface. No matter how hard I tried, the angry picture of his face was all I could see.
After a few hours of sitting, hunched up on the ground, I caught a scent in the wind. Sighing, I leaned back, knowing that this would not be a race I would win.
"Esme?" a voice sweeter than a flute floated through the forest, sounding anxious.
"Yes?" I mumbled reluctantly.
"Oh Esme," Alice sighed in relief when she saw me, and ran to where I was hunched on the floor, hugging me. "Are you ok?"
I looked up. Her large eyes were full of concern as she surveyed me.
"I'm fine," I whispered, hugging me knees tighter. "I'll be home soon."
"You're not fine. Please, just come home. Carlisle's besides himself. He knows that that kind of behaviour is off-limits with you, we all do. It was an accident, he lost control."
"I know. I'm sorry," I barely breathed.
"Come on, let's go home." She stood up and tugged at my elbow, but I didn't budge. I couldn't.
"Ok," she sighed. "I can see we're not going anywhere yet. Do you want to talk about it?"
Her tone was gentle, she genuinly wanted to make sure I was ok.
I took a deep, steadying breath. "It just brings back... bad memories... of him."
"That's ok. But know that Carlisle will never ever want to harm you, and never ever will he. He would do anything for you, you know that, right?"
"That's what he tells me. That's what he's been telling me for the past ninety years. But so did... he. And one betrayal like that is never something you will forget. It's like it is built into the back of your mind, and it is ever present. It just reminds me that things can change." My voice cracked at the end, and Alice pulled me into her arms, stroking my hair rhythmically while I cried tearless cries into her shoulder.
"Are you ready to go home?" she suggested gently after a few minutes. I took in a deep breath, and nodded. She led the way as we ran through the huge forest, the trees blurring past us, until we were back in our garden again I stopped dead in my tracks, and saw Jasper's anxious face at the window of the living room. He saw us, and darted away, no doubt to greet Alice, who continued to the house. I heard the front door open, and Alice was greeted by two men. Alice and Jasper entered the house, while the other man walked slowly across the lawn to meet me.
"Esme, sweetest, I'm not going to hurt you," he said, his hands raised and his voice sounding heartbroken. It pained me to hear him like that, and I wanted so badly to run and comfort him. But my legs would not move. The moon peeked out from behind the clouds, and the light shone on Carlisle's face. He was scared, no doubt about it, but not scared as if something were to harm him. Scared as if he were about to lose something. I felt my heart break a little to see him like this.