March.

Another month to add to the hundreds upon hundreds I had already lived. This month was different though, from all the other March's I had lived. It was... strange. Edward was becoming more of himself, but spent little time with us. It reminded me of the time he spent away from Carlisle and I, when he went his own way for a few dark years. Because it felt like we were losing him. Again. It hurt, just like before, and what made it worse was that Carlisle submerged himself in his work. He brought home stacks of paperwork every night, and spent all his time locked in that office of his. It had been a week since we had been together.

Carlisle was my rock, the person I turned to when I needed help, and he was always there, to take my hand, to stroke my hair and tell me everything will work out. Since the very beginning it had been like that, all the way back to when I broke my leg at the age of sixteen. He had plastered up my leg, and held my hand in one of his, while the other hand stroked the top of my head. He told me everything would be ok from then on. From the very first time I met him he was strong and wanting to help. But now, not so much. I feared that Edward's near constant absence, and the inevitable occurrences that were likely to crash down on us soon had been too much. I didn't dare ask Jasper what was wrong, what emotions he was picking up from Carlisle, because the others hardly seemed to notice it, and I didn't want to be the one to point out to them that their father was retreating into his shell. But after a week of hardly saying a word, I caved.

"Alice," I asked tentatively across the room. She was sketching Rosalie on the sofa, while Jasper and Emmett were watching a ball game on the widescreen.

"Yes?" she replied, not looking up from her sketch.

"Do you want to go hunt, I know it's been a while since you went?" I said, hoping that she saw that I needed to talk to her. As much as I loved all of my children, Alice and I got on the best, although I loved her no more than the others, but I could always talk to Alice about anything.

Her eyes met mine for a moment, and she nodded. "Ok, I've nearly finished this, and then I'll go. You go get ready, and I'll come find you in a moment."

"Thanks," I smiled gratefully at her, and she smiled back. Oh bless you Alice, I thought to myself as I darted up the stairs. Changing into something more comfortable, I walked carefully down the hall to Carlisle's office and stopped outside the door. Taking in a deep breath, I knocked.

"Come in Esme," he said wearily. That stung. Was he weary with me? I swallowed, and pushed open the door. He was sat at the great oak desk, surrounded by paperwork and looked as weary as he sounded. He smiled when I opened the door, but it did not touch his eyes.

"Alice and I are going hunting," I whispered, staring at the floor. It was more than likely that I was going to start sobbing right there and then, but I managed to keep it under control.

"Ok. Be careful," he replied. I peeked up, and saw that he had returned to his work with a slight frown.

"Always am. I love you," I said quietly as my voice shook slightly.

"Love you too," he said after a beat too long.

"Always," I breathed, and turned on my heel to leave. I hoped so much that he would call me back, tell me he was sorry for the week of estrangement and tell me that everything would be ok. I wanted him to take me in his arms, stroke my hair and kiss my forehead. I wanted him back. But he didn't. He let me go, still writing on his paper as I closed the door quietly.

"Esme?" Alice called from the top floor. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, are you ready?" I called back after composing my silent sobs. My voice was still shaky though.

"Yep, just give me a moment," she called. It sounded like she was straining for something. It didn't really bother me though. I walked slowly down the stairs, and watched my family. Jasper and Emmett both turned to look at me when they heard my footsteps on the stairs, and both of their foreheads creased into frowns. I guess I hadn't tried hard enough to mask myself.

"Esme, are you ok?" Emmett asked and got up to embrace me. I opened my arms to him and soon he had himself wrapped around me in one of his bear hugs. I let myself go a little, allowing the dry sobs to escape from my mouth as Emmett rubbed up and down my back. Jasper hovered behind and rubbed my arm soothingly. I smiled weakly at him, and let Emmett go.

"Thanks, sweetie," I sighed, and touched both of their cheeks.

"So are you gonna tell us what's wrong?" Emmett asked.

"Em, if she doesn't want to say, don't force her," Rosalie said sternly from where she was sat on the floor against the sofa. She looked at me nervously. Things were still slightly tense from the outburst that followed Edward's incident with Bella. It seemed years ago now. MY face crumpled again as I looked at her, and she had her arms around me in a second.

"Oh Esme," she sighed, rubbing my back just as Emmett did. "Is it that bad?"

And in that, I knew she knew what was bothering me. Two of the main men in my life were ignoring me, two of the people I loved more than anything had estranged me. I buried my head in her shoulder and nodded.

"Esme, we all love you so much," Jasper said quietly. "And Edward does too, even though he isn't showing it right now."

Bless Jasper. He knew of half the problem, the fact that my son had abandoned us all, left me again, but did not know that my rock, the man who was always there, now too, left me in just a hurtful way.

"Come here," Emmett said quietly, and I felt two pairs of arms around Rose and myself.

"Esme?" came a worried voice from the stairs, and the next moment a third pair of arms joined in the embrace. I had two sons, and two daughters literally surrounding me with their love, and yet I was selfish enough to ask for more.

"Where's Carlisle?" Emmett asked after a moment. "I'm sure he wouldn't want to miss this gooey moment." He chuckled to himself.

I stiffened, and pulled away. "He has work to do. Let's not disturb your father."

"Esme?" Rose asked as I turned away with Alice to leave. "We love you. And I will use all my power to make things better when you return. All of my power," she emphasised, and she tilted her head slightly to Emmett and Jasper. I understood what she meant, on both accounts. She will get Emmett and Jasper to corner Edward, and make him see sense. And she could handle Carlisle. She could wrap him around her little finger when she wanted, as could Alice. I felt a sudden wave of love for my family wash over me, and Jasper stared at me.

"I love you all, I really do," I said as steadily as I could, and looked each of them in the eye. "You mean the world to me, and I don't know what I would do without you."

With that, I turned on my heel and left with Alice.