Thanks for the reviews guys, keep giving me ideas. Numa Waffle: I'm working on the Kenpachi one, and I got nothing for DBZ yet, although I will get there :P. Anyway, here's chapter 5, we're back to Naruto again. Enjoy.
Team Snake, the mighty vanguards of the similarly mighty Uchiha Sasuke, stood watch outside a cave. Their illustrious leader had just been involved in a life or death battle with his fiendish brother, Itachi. Sasuke had harboured feelings of hatred and revenge against his misbegotten kin for years, and finally had been given an opportunity to act on them. Thankfully for the continuity of the story, he had emerged the victor, but immediately afterwards was spirited away to this same cave by a mysterious masked man. Disregarding the wonderful alliteration in that last sentence, Snake were understandably concerned for what was happening to Sasuke. All of a sudden, Sasuke exited the cave, stepping for in to the sunlight.
"Snake" he intoned in his monotone 'Uchiha Voice', "For years now I have hated Itachi. I have sought revenge against him in all forms, and today, I have achieved my ambition. But today, I have also been informed of a great evil. Itachi was not the one responsible for his actions. He had always loved me, and in fact, I realise that I always loved him in return. Really deep down. Really really deep down. Really really really deep down. Like, we're talking 'digging to China' here…But regardless of all that, he was not to blame… "
Snake were collectively shocked. Sasuke had hated Itachi so fiercely; to suddenly learn that he was not Satan incarnate as always believed was massive news.
"..So you see, the ones that were really responsible were part of Konoha." Sasuke finished explaining, "Konoha shall now bear my hate and I shall have my revenge on them! …I have not had 10 years to properly build up a good amount of hatred, but it shall have to do! Onwards! ...And in recognition of the new avenue of hate we are pursuing, we shall henceforth be known as Team Hawk!"
Snake, or rather Hawk, looked at each other and shrugged. Surely Sasuke must know what he was doing. Anyway, Suigetsu was sure that now he'd have more chances to kill people, so he didn't really care. As for Sasuke himself, he stood, his hair blowing in the wind, his Mangekyo Sharingan spinning, cackling about revenge and hatred and suchlike as the scene faded to black, and we entered a time skip.
(Time Skip: Some Time Later)
Team Hawk were dashing in true ninja fashion from tree to tree in the forest surrounding Konoha. They were on a mission, Sasuke would be granted his revenge at all costs! …As they got closer to the city center, Sasuke ordered a halt, and motioned Karin to come to him.
"Karin" he spoke "I want you to enter Konoha under a henge. Then, I want you to examine the situation and decide upon preferable attack openings. And then my revenge and hatred shall be quelled! …We shall wait here for your return." Dutiful Karin rose, and rushed towards her objective…
… Some time later, Karin returned, with a look of disbelief on her face. Sasuke approached her and said, "Well, silly girl? Out with it! Have you done as I asked? What have you discovered? I ask many questions, don't I? …That last one was rhetorical, you don't have to answer it"
Karin stuttered, "Well….umm….uh…you see…the thing is…Konoha….it's...it's gone!"
Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "What you mean, 'Gone'?"
Karin continued, "…Well, you see it appears as though Konoha is just a big crater in the ground!"
Sasuke was stunned, "So that means….I can never have my revenge? I have nothing left to hate?"
"…And the one responsible was none other than Pain!" finished Karin.
"Aha!" Sasuke yelled, "Hawk, just when it seemed as though we would never be able to fulfill our dreams of revenge, it appears as though we have been given a new new avenue of hate to follow! How could I have been so blind?! The real one responsible for my life's problems was so plain to see, but I missed it under the smokescreen of Itachi and Konoha! I hereby pledge my hatred to Pain, and we shall pursue him to the ends of the earth! I shall have my revenge! …And in recognition of this new enemy, we shall henceforth be known as Team Iguana!"
"…Pain's already dead." Karin cut in.
Sasuke was well and truly at a loss for words, "But…umm…hatred…and revenge…and stuff…Sasuke wants revenge….Sasuke wanna person to hate…" He drifted off and appeared as though he would burst in to tears at any point.
He quickly recovered though. "Aha!" He proudly exclaimed, "It seems as though I was mislead by even this, but now the truth is plain to see! The truth is, that the one responsible for my life's problems is none other than…" At this, he trailed off and began looking frantically from side to side, before settling on the closest object.
"…that rabbit over there!" He announced triumphantly, pointing to the offending rodent, "Oh how clever you were rabbit! You hid your plans behind Itachi and Konoha and Pain, while you remained the true enemy! What do you have to say for yourself?!"
The rabbit twitched his nose in response.
"Ah, your lies won't work on me, fiendish devil-bunny!" Sasuke ranted, with a slight foaming at the mouth now, "I pledge my hatred to you, rabbit, and I will pursue you to the ends of the earth to see my revenge on you fulfilled!"
The rabbit appeared none the worse for all the accusations, and simply hopped into a nearby bush.
"He's getting away!" shouted Sasuke, "He is denying me my ambition, my hatred, and my revenge! Team Platypus, charge!" With those words, he hurtled off in to the forest in search of his nemesis.
The newly dubbed Team Platypus looked at one another before shaking their heads and slowly leaping to the tree's to pursue their leader. Hey, maybe Sasuke was insane, maybe he always had been. But, in all fairness, stranger and less logical things had happened in Naruto before, so who were they to complain?
Sasuke does seem to have major dependency issues, except, his take the form of constantly needing something to hate. I think this is a fair scenario to imagine.
I personally like imagining that the rabbit is the one from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but more than likely it was just a bystander.