Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Dead Poets Society... I am just inspired by it.

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After dinner, Father brings up yesterday's conversation once again. "Are you truly that unhappy about the thought of going to Dartmouth, Richard?"

How do I phrase this... "I'm not exactly unhappy, Father, but I also would rather go to UC Berkeley," I answer carefully. "It's hard to explain. I just... I want to do something different. I don't want to go along with your plans for me just because they're your plans for me. They're perfectly good plans, but I don't think I'm entirely suited for them, sir."

Father nods, pursing his lips. "I did hope... I've watched the Kennedy family rising to prominence over the years through politics. I thought to do the same for the Camerons. But if you don't wish to be a part of that..."

"I don't," I interrupt. "AJ will be a wonderful political figure. But I'm too private and also too blunt of a person to be comfortable as the focus of the public eye. Look at how long it took me to find one friend I was comfortable inviting to the Island, for example. And I'm afraid that if I go to Dartmouth, following you and AJ, people there will expect me to be more like you and AJ.

Father nods once more. "All right, Richard, you do have a point there. What do you propose to do with yourself, then, since you don't want to get involved with law and politics?"

I breathe a silent sigh of relief. He's being reasonable. "I'd like to become a doctor, I think. Not a general practitioner, but a research doctor. Look at how drastically the incidence of polio has dropped in the last five years, ever since the vaccine became available. Maybe I can help make a vaccine for measles or mumps."

"That's certainly a worthy ambition, son. But why Berkeley specifically?" Father asks.

"Well... several of us were discussing backup schools," I explain, trying to find enough persuasive arguments without giving away my real reasons for wanting to go to Berkeley. "Some of the fellows were of the opinion that if we didn't get into the Ivy League school of our choice, we should find a college near to home and apply for a transfer every year. Others... Todd and I included... thought that we'd be better off picking out a top-quality school and sticking with that one for the duration. We did some research and came up with a few schools that looked interesting... Berkeley was one of them. And to be honest, a large part of the appeal is the distance involved. Just getting there would be an adventure and an education... and San Francisco is the cultural center of the West Coast."

"I'll make a bargain with you, Richard," Father says after thinking that over for a moment. "I certainly respect your wish to enter medicine instead of law. And I can even sort of understand why you'd want to go out to California. But I want you to apply to Dartmouth anyhow. You may change your mind about California, and Dartmouth has a perfectly good pre-medical program. I won't force you to attend any given school if you'd rather be elsewhere, but I want you to keep your mind open to the possibility of Dartmouth... and the possibility that people there wouldn't just see you as a younger version of AJ."

I nod. "Yes, sir, I will," I tell him. I fiddle awkwardly with one of the throw pillows on the sofa, not quite sure how to gracefully end the conversation, but desperately wanting to do so before I say something unfortunate.

As it turns out, I'm saved by the bell. The phone rings, then Mother calls that it's for me. I gratefully make my escape and take the phone. "Hello?"

"It's me, Richard. We got home all right. About an hour ago, actually, but they wouldn't let me call until after we had dinner," Todd's voice sounds tired.

"Was the trip awful?" I ask sympathetically.

"No worse than usual," he tells me. "Father went on for a while that he found it hard to believe I've been invited back, while Mother kept saying how grateful she was that they could go settle Jeffrey, since I would be fine with the Camerons. Eventually they changed the subject to some charity event that Mother is on the planning committee for, and seemed to forget that I was in the car with them. I like it better that way, to be honest. It's better than hearing all about how strange it is that someone likes having me around, and definitely better than hearing about Jeffrey."

God, I want to hug him right now. "I... you know what I'd say if I dared, don't you?" I can't take the chance that his is a party line, or that anyone is within hearing distance on my end.

His voice softens a bit; I can almost hear the smile slipping onto his face. "I know. I'd say the same. I have to go, though, Father told me not to stay on for too long."

"I understand," I say. "I'll give a call in a couple of days, all right? Maybe Tuesday, after my father talks to yours."

"Sounds good to me. Talk to you soon. Bye, Richard."

"Bye, Todd." I wait for the click before I hang up. It's far too early to go to bed, but I head to my room anyway, wanting to avoid talking to anyone just yet. Instead, I pull out the telescope that Grandfather gave me a few years ago and set it up by the window. I watch the moon for a while, and I even catch sight of the Echo satellite that we heard about on the news when it was launched a few days ago.

Eventually it gets late enough that I can slip into bed without arousing comment, so I do. Without Todd curled up beside me, it takes me a long time to fall asleep.