Duel 7: The Teenage Girl Squad VS The SOS Brigade

It was after school when I walked into the SOS Brigade Clubroom...

"Okay, I'll narrate, 'K?"

Shut up, Tyranno. Now, I entered the room to meet a full blast of...

"I'M BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That came from Haruhi.

"Why hasn't there been anybody signing up that I didn't voluntarily arrest?! Nobody's entered! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?! HAVE THEY HAD NO HEARTS TO JOIN THE SOS BRIGADE! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 24/7! THIS SUCKS! I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm FREAKING BORRRRRRRRED!!!!!!"

Yep, gone into a rant.

"If you must know," Yuki answered her, "Most of the female population that hasn't joined another club has joined a girl's only club, named the Teenage Girl Squad."

"Unacceptable! We need more members, and we'll have to eliminate that threat!" Haruhi declared, "Yuki, Mikuru, Kyon! Come with me!"

Okay, we're doomed.

As we walked for the TGS clubroom, Yuki seemed uncertain about something.

"What's on your mind, Nagato?" I asked.

"Well," Yuki answered, "I was busy conserving energy in 'Sleep mode', when someone of unknown origin left behind a Duel Monster's deck. For the most part, it consists of Water monsters... including an Envoy."

Envoy?!

"Well, Three Envoys under one roof. Coincidence, or something more?"

Shut up, Tyranno.

"So, Nagato." I said, "Can I see this Envoy?"

"Not yet."

Why not?

"Secret."

As we busted into the room, Haruhi yelled, "We're the SOS Brigade! We've come to talk to your leader!"

"That would be me," A green-haired girl of about 18 appeared, "Yuriko Tsuruya! But you can call me Tsuruya-san, Nyoro!"

"We've become aware that you have managed to amass half of the female student population," Haruhi got to the point.

"And this concerns you because?"

"Because we need members, Tsuruya." Haruhi stated, omitting the '-san' honorific.

"True... but it's not my problem, nyoro. Now go away," Tsuruya stated, "I have megas-big things in mind for today's activities."

"Listen," Haruhi growled at her, "I'm willing to voluntarily arrest any of your club members. So, will you comply... or should I just voluntarily arrest you right now?!"

"... I guess I should take caution," Tsuruya said, grimly, "Very well. Have one of your subordinates meet me on the roof, 1:00 sharp. We'll discuss matters there. Oh, and I do recommend bringing your deck."

"See you there."

Later...

As Yuki and I walked to the roof, I became increasingly worried. Why did Yuriko Tsuruya want us to bring our decks? What did she hope to obtain from that? And why did I feel like I'm being led to a trap?

"Because you are, moron."

Shut up, Tyranno.

On the roof, was none other then Tsuruya-san, wearing her North-High uniform... and a standard Duel Disk with green trim. I knew something was up.

"Now, I see Haru-nyan got TWO lackeys here," Tsuruya smirked, "Such a shame."

"Save us the pleasantries," Yuki responded, "And let's get down to business."

"Okay, If I win, You'll join. If You win, I will make half of my members deflect. And when they'll be fair game."

Donning a Duel Disk, Yuki stepped up to the proverbial "plate" and set her deck into said Duel Disk.

"Alright, let's duel, nyoro!" Tsuruya smiled, activating her duel disk.

"My sentiments exactly," Yuki monotoned.

Nagato: 4000 LP
Tsuruya: 4000 LP

Tsuruya's turn.

"My turn!" Tsuruya began by drawing a card, "And I think you're about to enter a world where the sun smiles upon you! A world of humor and insanity! You're about to enter... Toon World!"

As a green book hovered above Tsuruya, she smiled.

"It may cost me a forth of my life points, but it's worth it! Your turn, Nyoro!"

Tsuruya: 3000 LP

"If so..." Yuki drew a card, "I'll begin by summoning Warrior of Atlantis (1900/1200) in defensive position."

As a blue-skinned humanoid materialized, Yuki set two face down cards.

"I believe it's your turn."

"Oh, you didn't attack? Big Mistake, Nyoro!" Tsuruya smiled, "I'll draw... and summon Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon (3000/2500), Toon Summoned Skull (2500/1200), and Toon Dark Magician Girl (2000/I700)!"

As three cartoon versions of Blue-Eyes, Summoned Skull, and Dark Magician Girl appeared, I realized something.

"Wait a moment! You just summoned Three high-level monsters in one turn! Without tributes!"

"Yeah," Tsuruya said, "So?"

"Analysis," Yuki responded, "Against the rules."

"Screw the rules!" Tsuruya reacted, "I have money! And Green hair! TDMG! Attack her Warrior and bring shame upon her head! Shadow Mallet!"

The DMG ripoff hit Warrior of Atlantis over the head, killing him instantly.

"Now, BETD and TSS, your turn! Demon Claw! Burst Stream!"

As the attacks reached Yuki...

"Activate Traps," Yuki monotoned, "Scrap Iron Scarecrows!"

The attacks were blocked by twin metallic scarecrows. Her life points were safe.

"And I believe the effects of your Toon Monsters," Yuki continued, "Seeing that they cannot attack without you losing 500 life points each, adding up to 1000 LP."

Tsuruya: 2000 LP

"My turn. I'll begin by playing Dark Core." Yuki said, "At the cost of one card from my hand, It will remove one monster on your field. And I will remove Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon."

As the Toon Blue-Eyes faded, I sensed that Yuki had a plan...

"And now," Yuki stated, "I'll remove Warrior of Atlantis and the card I discarded, Water Spirit, to summon Spiral Serpent, Envoy of the Ocean (2900/2900)."

As a giant plesiosaur emerged from... somewhere, the demon and spell-caster screamed in fear.

"But I won't attack just yet. First, I play Spell Shattering Arrow."

An arrow came flying out of nowhere, hitting Toon World... and destroying it, killing Toon Summoned Skull and Toon Dark Magician Girl in the process.

"Holy (BEEP) on a (BLEEP) Sandwich!" Tsuruya screamed, "I'm doomed!"

"Attack," Yuki monotoned, as Spiral Serpent obeyed, generating a tornado from water in the atmosphere.

The tornado hit Tsuruya, causing her to fly back a short distance... somehow.

"OW! Teh Payn!" Tsuruya yelled.

It's just a hologram, isn't it?

Tsuruya: 0 LP

"Game Over." Yuki monotoned. "Now, reject half your members immediately."

"Heh... when I said that, I crossed my fingers behind my back. That means they're still members of the TGS, Nyoro!" Tsuruya laughed in triumph.

"Unfortunately, I detect a dark force corrupting you." Yuki said, before laying a finger on her forehead, "Initiate Mind Modification."

After a minute, Yuki removed her finger.

"Wow... suddenly I feel bad about my actions," Tsuruya mused, "I'm breaking up the Teenage Girl Squad."

And so, the Teenage Girl Squad broke apart, and there was much rejoicing.

"YES! NOW WE HAVE MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO GET MEMBERS! WHOO-HOO!" Haruhi shouted in triumph.

KNOCK KNOCK.

"Huh?" Haruhi questioned the knocking, "I wonder who that could be. Mikuru, answer the door."

"Hai!" Mikuru responded.

She opened the door to a man in sunglasses, a tux, and a single spike in his hair.

"Attention Duelists!" The man proclaimed, "My Hair has invited you to the New Duelist Kingdom Tournament!"

His hair invites people to tournaments?

"My Hair also has a package containing the brochure for the Tournament." The man stated, "Here you go."

As he handed Mikuru a package, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise up. Something was up... and I want to know what...

"So, what did I miss?"

Shut up, Tyranno.