A/N: Thank you, you guys. Here's the next chapter. I'm really only writing this because I love the title of this story. Urban Decay. Haha. It's my MSN name at the moment too!

Summary: Isabella Swan is the one person to go to about love – even though she has virtually no love life of her own…until a drunken blind date lands her married to the sexy Dr. Edward Masen. Please read and review.

Disclaimer: Not mine, sorreh.

This isn't a necessary chapter - more of a filler. If you want a few laughs or smiles go ahead and read. If you wanted to have more details on characters, go ahead and read. If you wanted to go forward in the story, do not read this chapter. It is more of a filler chapter.

Urban Decay

Chapter 2: A Theorem of Sorts

B

I know what you're probably thinking. "Congratulations, Bella! You landed yourself a delicious-looking man." And this is true of course. I'm almost certain that he's a man, and I am also certain that he is scrumptious. When did I get into comparing men to desserts? No wonder I had to lose five pounds!

Don't get me wrong – I'm glad that the man I drunkenly married was Edward and not a random stranger I met at the bar. But please note that this was Edward. A man I'd met not even a day before – I've probably only known him for a couple hours. Hell, I didn't even know his middle name.

I was never the type of person to have a one night stand. Even when I was young and reckless, I never even considered it. I didn't go to clubs and bars – I knew the alcohol and music would end with me grinding against a random person in the middle of the dance floor. And that just wouldn't do.

I'm getting ahead of myself again. I have issues with keeping my mind straight – but I've been working on fixing it. It wasn't like I could go on live television and say whatever I want. I'd be fired in a split second if that were to happen.

Before you dismiss me and think of me as a weak female – "How could she have landed herself in such a predicament" – you must understand that I had no control over my actions last night. Sure, I could have stopped drinking at any point of the night. But that's what alcohol does to you. You are constantly thinking "Hm, maybe I'll just have one more" and that one drink would lead to another and another and so on. It's very difficult to stop drinking once you've started.

I hardly ever drink and I hardly ever get into trouble with relationships. I give advice to my friends and to women and men who need it. I live by a completely separate set of rules – one I would like to call the Bella Theorem. It's like the Pythagoras Theorem with a touch of love and arrows.

My equation for love is as follows: Respect (squared) plus Honesty (squared) equals Love (squared). Now, a one night stand demands absolutely no respect and absolutely no honesty. A normal one night stand would normally call for fake names and a night full of fun and lust, but absolutely no love.

The Bella Theorem states that a Mr. Right is out there, and you push him farther away every time you decide you need a Mr. Right Now. What if your Mr. Right was right under your nose, but you lost him because you were too busy with your Mr. Right Now? That would make you feel awful about your decisions.

The Bella Theorem also states that blind dates are haphazard to your health – just as meeting people off the street is too. A blind date is only acceptable if its suggestion is from a good source – Alice, Rosalie, and possibly Jasper were examples of this. Meeting strangers off the street is not a good way to find love.

The Bella Theorem is flawless. And despite what other people may say, always works.

This was the first time that I'd ignored the Bella Theorem – and look what happened. Wham. I'm married to a stranger.

Now, do you understand why I'm the best at what I do? My advice actually works. If you choose to ignore my advice – consciously or subconsciously – you are putting your love life in jeopardy.

I mean, look at me! I'm a living example of it! I spent my entire life obeying the rules and regulations of the BT, and I was doing just fine. After one night of straying from the BT, look what happened to me. I'm married. To Edward Masen – deliciously unattainable not-so-bachelor.

I so couldn't deal with this right now.

R

I was not happy. Bella was supposed to be downstairs, ready to go at 10 AM. Alice was being unorthodoxly audacious, and my ears were beginning to ring. It was 11 in the morning, and my patience was wearing thin.

"Where the hell is she?" I asked, tapping my foot impatiently.

"Just breathe in and out, Rosalie." Alice chirped, her perky demeanor almost annoying in the morning. "She'll come downstairs."

"If she doesn't get down here in the next five minutes, I'm going upstairs to find her."

"Will you please relax, Rosalie?" She rolled her eyes. "She's been working nonstop for the past month. I think she's catching up with her sleep."

"Whatever. She said she'd be down here at 10, and she's already late."

"You're so OCD."

"Look who's talking."

"We should have stayed in the same room. I don't know why we chose to have separate rooms after checking in."

"Are you kidding me?" I rolled my eyes. "You wanted to room with Jasper and I needed a room alone because Tanya was going to call me - she's having a major melt down at the moment -nd I doubted Bella would want to hear it."

She waved me off. "Five minutes have passed." She commented. I nodded curtly and made my way upstairs. Alice followed suit. Her room was on the fifth floor, so we took the elevator. I trudged noisily down the hall, ignoring Alice's warnings. So what if people were sleeping?

I neared her room, and immediately started slamming my fists against her door. I pulled on her doorknob, and it opened. I blinked for a second, before charging in.

"Bella! I swear to god I will beat your perfect little ass if you don't get out of –" I ranted as I walked into her room. It was empty. The bed seemed as if it hadn't even been slept on, her luggage lying unopened on the bed.

"Where is she?" I asked, turning to face Alice.

"I have no idea."

"Come to think of it, I don't really remember where she went at all." I didn't remember the last time I saw her. "When was the last time you saw her, Alice?"

"I'm not sure." She said thoughtfully. "I was busy…with other things."

"I'd rather not hear about this." The thought of her and my brother 'getting it on' was not pretty. "Well, we have to get going. We need to find her now."

"Why? What's the rush?"

"Our reservations are in thirty minutes. It isn't like this is a fast food restaurant – it took ages to get a reservation, even when I told them our names."

"Fine. Where could she possibly be?"

"I'll check the lobby. Can you just check around this hall? Maybe she wandered."

She nodded and we went our separate ways. I took the elevator down to the lobby, ignoring the looks the other passengers were giving to me. I looked in the mirrored walls, and I didn't understand why they were looking at me like that. So what if I was a little red in the face? So what if I was blowing impatiently up my bangs.

…so what if I was saying a string of profanities under my breath? We're in Atlantic City for god's sake! There were people drunk out of their minds, taking a shower in the fountains – and they chose to stare at me instead?

"Are you okay?" A man in his twenties looked at me carefully. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"I'm fine." I replied coolly.

"Well, that's good. Just checking."

I hummed a little, trying to come off as nonchalant. Despite my profession, I did not like attention. I only posed for photo shoots or billboards to pay the bills. My dream is to get into biotechnical engineering.

"Wait – I recognize you from somewhere." A thoughtful look flashed across his face.

He could have been attractive. Had he been a little taller, with slightly darker hair – I have a soft spot for brunettes - I may have considered flirting with him. I've had a number of failed relationships in the past year. I was Bella's science project.

"Where have I seen you before?" He asked, more to himself. My eyes flashed to the magazine in his hand, which, ironically, had a wave of blond hair on its cover. I could recognize that any where. Granted, I couldn't see my face – his arm was covering it – but I recognized the family tint of the highlights – I have no idea where those highlights came from – and the faint brown streak near the end. Unless someone had full out copied my hair, it had to be me.

"I believe you're holding it in your hand." I replied dryly. I eyed him carefully as his eyes drifted to the magazine.

"You're….You're the Rosalie Hale? The…the number one woman on the Maxim hot 100?" He asked in awe, his eyes drinking me in. It was nasty.

I was number one on the Maxim's list? Since when? Why wasn't I notified?

"I am?" I blinked.

"Yeah!" He grabbed another magazine from his pocket – how deep his pockets were I will never know – and pointed at the cover. When did I pose for Maxim? What?

"Oh, well that's interesting." I mused to myself. My publicist was so fired.

"Can I have you're autograph?" He grinned like a thirteen year old boy at a comic book store.

"Sure." I cracked a smile, and he fished in his pockets for a pen. Where the hell did he buy those pants? I signed the magazine hastily, leaving a childish happy face – matched his personality, no? – and left the elevator when it stopped at the lobby.

My eyes darted immediately to the bell boy who'd brought our bags up.

"Hey, you!" I called, gesturing at him. He stood still for a second, before walking towards me.

"Yes, ma'am? What can I do for you?" His accent was as thick as I remembered. It was kind of endearing, really.

"Do you remember me? From yesterday?"

"Yes, of course, ma'am. I could never forget someone as beautiful as you." He blushed a tint of pink. He was a lot younger than several of his colleagues – he may have even been a high school student. I've heard of those exchange programs where you test out a couple jobs to experience life outside of school.

"Why thank you," I eyed his name tag, "Joshua. That's really kind of you."

"What can I do for you, miss?"

"Well, I can't seem to find my friend that I came here with – the brunette with brown eyes?"

"Oh, I remember her." He nodded. "I saw her at the bar last night."

I nodded. I was there. "Yes, I know that. But you wouldn't happen to know where she went after that would you?"

"No, ma'am."

He was of absolutely no help. "Thank you." I turned and looked for another employee. I tried to be nice – hell I was polite even. I said 'sir' once – something completely against my moral code. Being nice obviously wasn't helping. That's what a guy needs. A girl who isn't afraid to stand up for something – who has a fine little temper.

I spent god knows how long scouring the hotel head to toe and threatening all the employees I could see. I was beginning to get annoyed. Actually, beginning was a complete lie. I was completely and utterly annoyed. I was losing my temper as I stared down at another bellhop. A passerby actually had to pry him away from my grasp. Stupid prude.

I made my way to the elevator and rode it up to Bella's floor. No one was helping in the lobby – maybe Alice had found her. I walked through the halls - they twisted and turned in many directions – and eyed all the rooms. Housekeeping was busy working on a room – I peered in but saw none of the brown hair I'd grown accustomed to.

I leaned against the wall next to room 509. All this searching was starting to wear me out. Never wear high heels when you are attempting to find your best friend – it's suffering that you don't need to experience. I yawned a little. When I saw Bella, I was going to kill her.

Then I heard a screech that scared the living daylights out of me.

"ROSALIE!"

A

I watched as Rosalie entered the elevator, and I turned in the opposite direction. Rosalie had a knack in threatening people – that's the main reason why she got what she wanted. I peered into the various open doors – did people not care of their own privacy anymore? I heard shrieks of ecstasy from the short hallway to my left, and I hoped it wasn't Bella. That would be scarring to hear her while she was going about her business.

I spent half an hour traveling through the hallway – it was a long, winding hallway…one you could get lost in easily.

I'm a bit more rational than Rosalie sometimes – I am a lot more patient. I knew running around frantically wasn't going to help me at all. I eyed the marble bench near the center of the hallway, and plopped myself on the cool surface. I thought back to the night before.

I remembered going to the bar, and I know Rosalie and Bella were behind me. I had immediately made a beeline towards Jasper – looking delicious as usual in his chosen outfit – and was – er – enjoying his company. Rosalie was off to the side talking on her cell phone.

An image flashed in my mind. Bella had been talking to someone. I remember he was strikingly handsome – the kind of guy you would notice even if you already had a boyfriend (not to say I thought of anyone other than Jasper). They were laughing and they were doing shots. They had made a toast at one point of the night.

I remember he had messy brown hair – with a slight gold tint in the dim light – and piercing green eyes. He was sitting down, so I couldn't be sure, but I think he was about six feet tall with a body not too lean and not too buff. He was swoon worthy – and that was why I respected Bella so much. She didn't get to her status as Love Guru for nothing. She had a way with men – she could ignore them with a snap of her finger, no matter how delicious they looked. Just like at that moment – she was acting as if he wasn't an Adonis.

Come to think of it, the last time I saw Bella, she was talking animatedly with the brown haired man beside her. She had obviously let down her protective walls a little, enough to give him the time of day. Maybe she'd gone with him?

Then I remembered the blind date. Jasper had described him as a twenty-something brunette, about six feet tall. Was it possible said brown haired man was the blind date we had set up?

I took my blackberry from my purse and dialed Jasper's number. His low voice answered with a simple, "Hey love." A smile reserved only for him crept onto my face.

"Hey Jasper." I replied. "We can't seem to find Bella."

"Where do you think she went? She doesn't have a ride anywhere…she must be in the hotel."

"Yeah, I know that. I was wondering if you could tell me who her blind date was last night."

"Oh? Him? His name is Edward Masen. I saw them talking to each other in the bar last night – they seemed it off."

"You wouldn't happen to know his room number would you?" I inquired.

"I do, actually. It's 524. It's near the end of the hall. You can't miss it – it's enormous. He does pretty well for himself."

"That's good to know." I smiled. "I'll see you later. I love you."

"Love you too."

I hung up and made my way towards room 524. I caught a glimpse of it from around the corner, and dashed towards it. The door was slightly open, and I saw a flash of brown hair. A darker, richer color – one that could only belong to one girl in the entire world.

I walked in, with the intent of screaming at Bella for being such an ignorant girl.

The scene I walked into would haunt my dreams for an extremely long time.

Edward was standing on the left side of the bed, a pillow covering his more private areas. His hair was very messy – messier than it was before – and he was grimacing. Bella was on the other side of the bed, a blanket wrapped securely around her. But the pressure from the blanket made her cleavage a little more noticeable. They were bickering with each other, their eyes focused on nothing else. They didn't even notice I was there.

Her eyes were narrowed, and she was screaming about something that had to do with a theorem of some sort. He was rolling his eyes while she tried to adjust her blanket. The blanket fell a little – revealing a little too much – and I heard his intake of breath. What a typical guy reaction.

This, of course, caused Bella to react even more. She screamed at him for looking (not that I could blame him…she was making a scene). I scoffed at his expression, before cursing myself for talking. Their argument was actually getting good!

Both pairs of eyes flashed on me, and my mouth opened to screech the first word that came in my mind.

"ROSALIE!"

A/N: I was planning on making it longer – but I have school tomorrow and, therefore, must get to bed. I will have 4 and a half hours of sleep tonight. Fabulous.

Anyway, I hope you like it. Please review. I have the next chapter planned and outlined, so it won't take too long to get it out. This doesn't have much of a point (this chapter, I mean) but it is an update, and it adds a couple details to Alice and Rosalie.

There will be many changes in POVs in this story – something I enjoy doing – so please know it might be a little confusing.

I hope we hit the twenty review mark for this chapter! I would love you all so much!

-Kim

Number of Pages: 8

Number of Words: 3,222

Completed: No

Edited: No