Chapter 10: I'm not going anywhere
"Wake up."
Lorne frowned in his sleep, only just registering the voice.
"Major!" This time the voice was accompanied by someone shaking him vigorously.
"What?" Lorne opened his eyes a crack, saw Rodney McKay standing beside his bed, and groaned as he closed his eyes again. "It's been two hours already?" he mumbled in disbelief.
"Three actually," Rodney replied. "I've done all I can do without help ... time for you to work out how to talk to Atlantis."
"I don't need to," Evan announced, sitting up and running hands through his hair. He still felt beyond tired but the vividly recalled dream where helping him get focussed and alert. "Already dreamed it ... Atlantis will show me what information you need from the Ancient database," Lorne said, not sure how he knew that that's what would happen since Atlantis hadn't specifically said it, just that he did. "Give me ten minutes and I'll meet you in your lab."
Rodney nodded, for once refraining from asking the questions that always hovered in his mind. Leaving the Major to his business, Rodney headed for his lab. He'd have to call Radek into things eventually but first he had to get whatever direction he could from Atlantis, via the Major. This was going to be interesting.
oOo
Ten minutes later, freshly shaved and showered, Lorne walked into Rodney's lab, nodding quickly before getting straight down to business. "Okay," he announced. "I have no idea how this is going to work exactly, so I'll just ...," he trailed off, motioning to the Ancient console where he'd be able to access the database directly.
"Did Atlantis give you any specific instructions at all?" Rodney asked curiously.
"Not really ... you've had one of these dreams Rodney," Lorne pointed out. "She's not exactly a details kind of gal is she?"
"Maybe that's the best Atlantis can do," Rodney suggested. "When ah ... when John first started, you know, talking to the city, it was in dreams – it wasn't exactly clear for him either. It ah ... it took time and a lot of that was him opening himself to the communication. It could work the same for you ..."
"Maybe," Evan agreed distractedly, his attention already on the Ancient console. "Now ...," he trailed off, eyes losing focus as he put his hands on the console.
In his mind he saw the information flashing by ... on the view screen it was the same but where Evan saw additional colours attached to sections of the database, on the screen they looked no different than usual.
"This one," he said after a few minutes, pausing on one file whose colours seemed to call to him. They glowed warmly in his head, literally attracting his attention ... like a masterpiece hidden amongst hundreds of kindergarten paintings.
"Huh?" Rodney squinted at the view screen in confusion.
"I don't know what it's supposed to mean," Lorne said impatiently. "Just that you'll need something in that one to connect the amplifier properly." When Rodney nodded without doing anything, Evan sighed. "Are you gonna flag it in some way? Because I really need to move this on." The pressure in his head was steadily increasing the longer he held on to his current location in the system. It seemed Atlantis was in a hurry to get this part of the rescue mission completed.
"Oh – of course," Rodney tapped a few keys on his laptop and then motioned for Lorne to continue.
Relaxing his hold, Evan went back to watching the files streaming by. It was difficult for him and the longer it went on the more taxing it became. His brain wasn't used to having that much information scrolling through it ... it was like watching a scene streaming past a window as you drove along at high speed and trying to register every minute detail as well. He was pale and drawn before finally, over an hour later, he arrived at the conclusion that he'd given Rodney everything he needed.
"That's it," he announced in a low tone, taking his hands from the Ancient console and stepping back. The wave of tiredness hit him hard and he was sitting on the floor before he realised he wasn't steady enough to remain standing. Dropping his head to his raised knees with a groan, Evan swallowed hard. His stomach churned in an unpleasant way and his head was pounding like a son of a bitch.
"Lorne!" Rodney dropped down beside him, frowning as he tried to get a better look at the other man. "Are you okay?"
"Not really," Evan carefully raised his head to look at Rodney. "How does Colonel Sheppard put up with that all the time?"
"He said it gets easier," Rodney dismissed, frowning as he noticed the Major's pallor and blood shot eyes. "You look like hell."
"Thanks for pointing out the obvious McKay," Evan shot back. He couldn't sit on Rodney's lab floor all day, so with another audible groan he carefully got to his feet, wincing as pain shot through his head at the movement. "Got any Tylenol around here?" he asked. "Or better yet a hammer so I can knock myself out until it passes."
"That bad huh?" Rodney hesitated before making a suggestion. "Maybe you should go see Doctor Keller."
"And tell her what?" Lorne retorted. "Please switch off my brain for a few hours because being Atlantis's tool really gives you a bitch of a headache? That's hardly gonna protect Colonel Sheppard's secret."
"You're not a tool," Rodney looked uncomfortable with the suggestion. "None of us are ... we're just helping Atlantis so that she can help us find John."
"I know that Rodney," Lorne sighed, leaning unsteadily against the bench as he clenched a hand over his forehead in the hopes that would relieve the pressure a little.
"Here," Evan looked up a few moments later to see Rodney standing next to him, holding out a foil package. "Excedrin – extra strength," he added when Lorne looked at the tablets uncertainly.
"Thanks," Lorne popped out the tablets and swallowed them dry. "So – is the stuff Atlantis had me show you useful?"
"I'll have to look at each of the files more fully but I think so, yes," Rodney replied.
"So you don't need me for a while?" Evan asked hopefully.
"No," Rodney actually smiled. "Go get some real sleep Major."
"You should think about taking your own advice McKay," Lorne advised. "A couple of hours isn't going to make that much of a difference."
"After I've read all the files and I know what it means," Rodney explained. "After I can get Radek and his people working on implementation. This is nothing – you should have seen me during college. Stayed up for days without sleeping at all and still managed to pass all my midterms."
"Well all right," Evan pushed away from the counter, swayed for a moment and then steadied himself. "Wake me up when you're ready for the next phase."
"Will do," Rodney promised, attention already drawn to his laptop and those waiting files. Lorne was at the door before he called out. "Evan ... thank you."
"No problem," Lorne replied before walking out of the lab, his posture too careful for Rodney not to work out that every step was causing pain.
"It'll be worth it Major," Rodney promised under his breath, drawing his laptop closer and settling down to work.
oOo
John came to gradually ... awareness of the surface he was lying on - firm but not hard enough to be the floor - coming first, followed quickly by the return of memory about the events immediately preceding his being knocked out. It seemed that even Aperio as a hologram could still pack a punch.
"Ow," he muttered, opening his eyes to another new location. This one looked like a standard holding cell ... small, barely big enough for the narrow bed he was laying on, with a locked door that included a small window with bars over it just in case someone thought to use that in some kind of escape plan.
Getting up, Sheppard crossed to the door, swaying dizzily before regaining his equilibrium. He peered out the window, stepping back hastily when he was confronted with a pair of eyes peering in.
"Ah, Colonel Sheppard, you're awake," Vulture greeted him as he unlocked the door and stepped inside. "I am pleased to see that your foolishness in challenging Ma'at did not carry more severe consequences."
"Yeah - seems your 'goddess' didn't take too kindly to being reminded of her true origins," John returned grimly.
"Perhaps ... or perhaps she wished to show you that her words are not empty," Vulture suggested. "That she has power to assist in leading us to the true path."
"I don't get it," John said simply.
"Ma'at only wishes to show us the way to order and balance," Vulture began to explain.
"No," John interrupted. "Believe me when I say I fully get what she wants." He looked at Vulture closely. "I just don't get what you ... what your order wants. Why throw in your lot with Ma'at? Why come all the way out here?"
"We broke away from the Trust when it became clear that their methods were ... unsavoury," Vulture explained. "Ties between the Goa'uld and those in charge began to concern us as well ... we took the tenants of our order from Ancient Egypt because those tenants best represent what we each believe to be the future for the human race. Ma'at represents the fundamental order of the universe ... without her all creation would perish. All will be judged by Ma'at and if found lacking, will be sent to Ammit – to the nether regions, for all eternity."
John's eyebrow rose at that ... in the context of Aperio taking on Ma'at's persona that sounded more than a little worrying.
"You must understand Colonel Sheppard ... our cause is pure," Vulture continued. "We genuinely want to help this world achieve the potential that is its true right. With Ma'at and Re-Horakhty guiding and protecting us while we find our way to the true path, that potential may just come to fruition."
"That only makes this all the sadder," John said with a frown. "Maybe your motivations aren't that screwy but the way you're going about achieving them is just wrong. Even if Ma'at were everything she claims to be, taking the easy road, having her fix all our problems for us, isn't the way. Travelling the road - making the mistakes and learning from them - is just as important at the eventual solution."
"You speak of your relationship with Atlantis," Vulture commented with interest.
"We knew as soon as we realised what we had that getting all the answers given to us would be so easy," John tried to explain without confirming the specifics of how his connection with the city actually worked. It was probably empty to do so since Vulture had clearly been fully briefed by Aperio who was in the unique position of having seen John's relationship with Atlantis up close and live. "But doing it that way would have set our path in concrete - leading us only to repeat the road the Ancients took. If we'd done that we wouldn't be here right now ... it's all the things we thought of that the Ancients didn't that has made a dent in our dealings with the Wraith. It'll take us longer but whatever we do, mistakes or triumphs, are ours and ours alone."
"I understand Colonel," Vulture acknowledged. "In the wrong hands such power could easily be misused."
"It could," John agreed, intent on doing everything he could to sway Vulture enough that he'd consider the possibility that John was telling the truth about Aperio. If he could get that then maybe he could convince Vulture to let him go. "But it's more than that ... and you know, if Ma'at really were the goddess you think she is, surely she wouldn't want you to take the easy road."
Sheppard hesitated for a moment and then decided to go with his gut and take a risk. Everything that Vulture had told him, everything about the way he'd treated John, spoke of someone who genuinely wanted to help people. His methods were misguided but Vulture's purpose seemed harmless on the whole scale of things ... it could even be considered as pure as the other man believed. Aperio had taken that ... taken something that if handled differently could provide drive for offering people different choices ... and turned it into something negative.
"Atlantis never gives us anything easily," John offered in a quiet voice. "Despite Doctor McKay thinking up sixty things a week that he just has to get the answer to right there and then. When the city itself is under threat the information exchange is a little freer, but since the first time we made use of the connection she's come to understand the value in making us do all this ourselves. Don't you think Ma'at should see things in a similar light?"
"I appreciate what you're saying but Ma'at's role is not the same as your Atlantis," Vulture's expression was thoughtful as he considered John's words. "Ma'at comes from an era where our relationship with our Gods was key to how we lived our lives. We strive to model ourselves on that approach."
"Isn't religion about belief without proof, without direct intervention?" Sheppard shot back insistently. "Aperio has done everything possible to convince you of her identity as Ma'at. Why? Doesn't that make you wonder, even just a little bit?"
"Our order is about absolute belief in our Goddesses wisdom to know what we need to follow the path," Vulture replied. "Ma'at is wise ... she does that which is required to shift us from a way that will only spell our destruction."
As Sheppard listened, as he watched the shifting expression's on Vulture's face, he realised that even on a small scale, he was getting through to the other man.
"Ask her," John urged. "Ask her why she chose to reveal herself now instead of last year or ten years ago or whenever it was she first saw us straying off the true path? Ask her why she let it get so far if it's within her power to alter it?"
"Questioning her is ...,"Vulture trailed off with a sigh. "I do not know how Ma'at would answer these questions. But I fear she will be angry at any suggestion that her followers, that I as her beloved, have doubts. She will take any such questions in that light even if they are not meant to express disbelief."
"But she needs me – I wouldn't be here if that wasn't the case. You can't do anything without my cooperation," John pointed out, refraining from adding that Ma'at sounded damn sensitive and temperamental ... for a Goddess. "Why would I give it to you?"
"You will consider cooperating if I ask Ma'at these questions?" Vulture asked in surprise, taking the lure John had thrown out.
"If you ask her and you come back here completely satisfied with her answers, with no doubts that she's who she says she is, then yes, I'll look at whatever it is she wants me to turn on," John offered. "But no guarantees I'll do more than that because in all likelihood I won't."
"I believe when you see the full extent of her plans, you will wish to cooperate," Vulture replied. Nodding, he moved towards the door. "I will ask these questions ... and return shortly."
"I'm not going anywhere," John pointed out, waving a hand around his cell.
"I'll send someone with refreshments," Vulture's playing host just reiterated to John that he wasn't the standard bad guy psycho out to further his own agenda. Sheppard refrained from giving a smart ass order for service, remaining silent as he watched his captor leave.
Mindless and collective belief in the kinds of ideals Vulture had sprouted wasn't John's thing but at the same time he did understand the allure. At the heart of it, what they wanted was good ... and it was the kind of stuff that gave some people hope.
Too bad Aperio had come along and corrupted that.
oOo
Again it was the sounds of someone calling his name that woke Lorne. This time it was through the radio earpiece he was still wearing. For the second time in a day he'd fallen into bed fully clothed and had no recollection of even going to sleep.
"Major Lorne?" Rodney's voice came through the earpiece again.
"I'm here," Evan returned, sitting up and glancing at the clock. It had been around 1400 hours when he'd finished in McKay's lab ... now the clock read 1800 hours – he'd only been asleep for four hours? His head felt a lot better although a low grade headache was still present in the background. In comparison though it was minor enough to ignore easily.
"Can you come down to the chair room?" Rodney requested. "We're ready to do a test run of the amplifier."
"Already?" Lorne asked in surprise.
"You've been asleep for over a day," Rodney explained. "Doctor Keller checked on you – said just to let you wake up on your own. I ah, I gave her a spiel about you not having slept the entire trip to and from Lantia ... and I told her you had a headache as well. I had to say something," he added, maybe thinking Lorne was going to protest how free he'd been with his personal details. "I wasn't sure you were okay and ah ... I couldn't get anything from Atlantis even though I tried to, you know, make contact."
"It's okay McKay," Evan replied. "Next time though, wake me up before I lose a whole day. So, you've got the amplifier connected?"
"Yes - we ... well, mostly Radek's team worked through the night to get it done," Rodney returned. "We just need to make sure it works before we start searching for John."
"I'll be there as soon as I can," Lorne promised, signing off and jumping up from his bed.
Twenty eight hours of sleep? That was just ... wrong ... and not his usual practice. Shrugging, Evan grabbed what he needed to get cleaned up and headed for his bathroom. Time to get back to duty and back to the business of finding his commanding officer.