Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama Island or anything associated with it.
Chris is standing on the side of a deserted highway. He smiles for the camera, and starts the introduction for the episode.
"Last time on Total Drama Virtual….." he says dramatically. "The contestants put some serious hours into completing a video game. Some displayed real skills while others just didn't measure up." His face suddenly falls. "In a slightly less dramatic ceremony, Ezekiel left with almost no problem as the campers made fun of the wonderful host mercilessly." His smile comes back, brighter than ever. "What will happen this week on-"
Total!
Drama!
Virtual!
The contestants were rudely awakened by the sound of an explosion. When they finally stumbled outside, they found no evidence of the explosion and assumed that it was another terrible Chris wake up call. They were right. They looked around themselves and noticed the fact that their cabins were now located on the side of a highway. The host chose that moment to show up. "Good morning, contestants!" he said brightly.
"Too happy. Too early." Gwen muttered.
"What was that, Gwenie darling?" he asked. She told him some obscene ways for him to kill himself that were bleeped out of the episode.
"Lovely," Chris said sarcastically. "So, are you all ready for your next challenge?"
The contestants stared at him silently. The host eventually gave up on getting an answer after several moments of silence.
"This week we have a road trip challenge!" he announced.
"Goody!" Izzy squealed.
"Yeah, goody," Noah repeated, not so enthusiastically.
"Now, you will all be separated into teams," Chris continued. "Each of you will get an ATM card for the Bank of Chris. Every card will have a different amount of cash on it. How much money is on your card depends on your popularity."
"Wait, popularity?" Heather asked.
"Yeah, we took a survey of the viewers."
"I'm screwed," Heather thought.
"With the money on your cards, you all have to buy a car, gas, and a bunch of other things! Each car comes with a map. There will be multiple checkpoints along the way. They're marked on your map. Every time you get to a checkpoint, you get some more money. The first team there will get more money than the second team, and the second team will get more than the third team, and so on and so forth. There are also a bunch of buildings along the roads. Every one of them has a Confessional in it. You want to be the first team to the finish line at Wawanaqwa Bay." Chris surveyed the camper's reactions. Most seemed calm, while others (namely Heather and Jacob) seemed to be sweating bullets. "Any questions? No? Good. So, I'll announce your teams now." A clipboard appeared in his hands. He flipped to the second page and started to read. "Harold, Gwen, Jacob, and Lindsay are all on the Raging Burrito team."
"Raging Burrito?" Harold scoffed.
"I like burritos!" Lindsay chirped, "But they give you bad breath."
"Izzy, Duncan, DJ, and Eva are on the Jumping Jellybean team," he continued.
"Yay for jellybeans!" Izzy yelled. "And yay for being on DJ's team!" She glomped onto DJ. He went a little pink.
The Confessional: A small difference in opinion.
Duncan: (He's standing in a small white room with no distinguishing features.) She is going to drive me absolutely crazy!
________________________
DJ: Yes! I'm on Izzy's team again!
"Noah, Heather, and Bridgette are the Flying Pine Trees," Chris read.
Heather and Noah did a facepalm in unison after hearing their team name. Bridgette shrugged.
"Justin, Katie, and Pinkie are the Singing Unicorns."
"Seriously?" Heather asked.
"These names don't even follow a common theme," Noah said.
Chris smiled cheerfully. "So, I'll give you your ATM cards and you can get started! The car dealership is in that building across the street." He jerked his thumb at a building that definitely hadn't been there a second ago.
The Confessional: I've got a bad feeling…..
Noah: Okay, if our comments aren't making an impact on Chris-
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Heather: -then this challenge is going to be brutal!
The contestants grabbed their ATM cards from Chris and started to walk across the street. A car zipped across the highway going way beyond the speed limit and made roadkill of Lindsay. The contestants looked at her mangled body in horror. She disappeared. "Oh, did I mention that if one of your teammates dies, you have to start the whole trip again?" Chris called after them. He giggled maniacally. Everyone groaned and hurried across the street. Lindsay materialized on the opposite side of the street. She quickly ran to catch up to her team.
Raging Burritos- Harold, Gwen, Jacob, and Lindsay
The glass door slid open, and the Raging Burritos entered the car dealership. Gwen pointed at something. "Real classy," she said sarcastically. Everyone turned and saw the flashing neon sign that said Confessional.
"Should we check the amount of money we have?" Jacob said, gesturing to the ATM next to the door. The group stood in front of it and Gwen stuck her card in the slot. The machine mad a whirring noise and the screen flashed.
$9,000 left
Lindsay's had $10,000."Eee! I'm so popular!" she squealed.
Harold's card had $4,000. He shrugged. "Wasn't expecting much anyway."
Jacob bit his lip as he stared at the machine's screen. It finished processing and a number flashed on the screen. "Five hundred dollars?" Gwen read in disbelief. Jacob laughed nervously.
The Confessional: Too bad for you.
Jacob: Man, Chris probably showed all the footage of me and the girls. Ouch.
Jumping Jellybeans- Izzy, Duncan, DJ, and Eva
Eva read the screen. "$2,000. I wonder how bad that is?" she thought.
Izzy pulled out Eva's card and pushed her own in. "$7,000! " she yelled. She pulled out her card and fanned herself with it as if it were a wad of money. "Izzy's rich." DJ stuck his card in next. "Ooooh, $8,000! DJ's richer!" she said loudly. She glomped onto him again. Duncan rolled his eyes and put his card into the slot. The screen flashed after a second. "Ding-a-ling-a-ling!" Izzy yelled. "We have a winner! It's Duncan, with 13,000 big ones!" She struck a damsel in distress pose, hanging off of DJ's arm. "We will forever be in your debt, slaves to your will!" DJ laughed.
Duncan did a facepalm. "I don't want to know what she's talking about," he thought.
Singing Unicorns- Justin, Katie, and Pinkie
"So with Justin's 11,000 dollars, Pinkie's 3,000 dollars, and my 5,000 dollars we have…" Katie said. She stopped for a moment to add it up.
"19,000," Justin said.
Flying Pine Trees- Noah, Heather, and Bridgette
"Let's make sure that we get a car that's good for the environment!" Bridgette said.
Noah and Heather rolled their eyes.
The Confessional: I be rich!
Bridgette: The amount of money I got seemed totally normal. 6,000 was kind of in the middle of Noah and Heather.
________________________
Noah: How can I have 12,000 dollars and Heather has 1,000? I didn't think I was that popular. (He smiles evilly.) But now I can hold it over Heather's head!
________________________
Bridgette: Do you think that they'll sell hybrids here?
Jumping Jellybeans- Izzy, Duncan, DJ, and Eva
"I call driving rights!" Izzy yelled.
"No way!" Duncan and Eva yelled simultaneously.
Izzy pouted. "DJ wants me to drive, right?" She turned a puppy dog look on him.
He stayed rooted to the spot in terror. "Izzy," he whimpered. "Your driving scares me."
"I can't drive, so that leaves the two of you," Eva said to Duncan and DJ.
"I've got a license," DJ said.
"I can drive," Duncan said.
"Then you guys will switch off," Eva said.
"Izzy wants to drive!" Izzy screamed again.
"No!" DJ, Eva, and Duncan yelled.
The Confessional: NASCAR Izzy, Grandma DJ
Izzy: Izzy will drive. Somehow. (She cackles and smiled dangerously.)
________________________
DJ: I felt really bad about saying no to Izzy but I don't want her driving. Under any circumstance.
________________________
Eva: Wait, did Duncan say that he had a license? (1)
Flying Pine Trees- Noah, Heather, and Bridgette
The Flying Pine Trees were sitting down going through a car catalogue they had been given at the front desk.
"I think we should get the Gummer," Noah said.
"No way! It gets terrible mileage. We should get the Bube!" Bridgette protested.
"You do know that this is virtual reality, right? The little virtual seals and virtual polar bears aren't going to come and thank you for saving their virtual environment!" Heather told her.
Noah snickered.
The Confessional: And the virtual environmentalist of the year award goes to.....
Noah: Haha, virtual polar bears.
________________________
Heather: That probably sounded really stupid.
________________________
Bridgette: Well, I know that I don't need to save the virtual environment, but it's just the principle of the thing!
"We could get the Ceetle instead!" Bridgette said.
"No way in hell," Noah said quickly. "I'm not riding in a lime green car that's for chicks."
"But it gets good mileage here! And it's not even the real Beetle!" Bridgette said.
"Okay, just because Chris changed the first letter of each of these cars to avoid getting sued does not mean that they are different cars," Noah told her. (2)
"Hey, they have a hybrid," Heather noticed.
"Yes! Anything other than the Ceetle!" Noah cheered. He looked down at where Heather was pointing.
"Oooh, a Jonda Bivic!" Bridgette said happily.
"And it's pink," Noah groaned. He mimed hanging himself.
"Pink with purple spots. That's a cool paint job!" Bridgette said cheerfully.
The Confessional: I can feel my manhood flying away.
Noah: (He seems unable to speak coherently.) That…. ugh…. manliness destroyed…..gah……. national television…… thing…..purple……PINK!
________________________
Heather: I almost feel sorry for Noah. But I didn't want to ride in the Ceetle. There's no leg room.
Singing Unicorns- Justin, Katie, and Pinkie
"We should buy the Mini Dooper convertible!" Katie said excitedly.
"Yeah, totally," Pinkie agreed.
"But it only has two seats," Justin protested.
"Katie will sit on your lap and I'll drive. Problem solved!" Pinkie said energetically.
"Eeeeee!" Katie squealed.
The Confessional: Dreamy, ain't it?
Katie: That car-
________________________
Pinkie: Is the car of my dreams!
________________________
Katie: It's cherry red!
________________________
Pinkie: The top goes back!
________________________
Justin: Thankfully, the car goes pretty fast.
________________________
Katie: The seats are leather!
________________________
Pinkie: The stereo system is awesome!
________________________
Katie: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
________________________
Pinkie: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (She pauses and looks surprised.) Wow. Katie rubbed off on me.
________________________
Justin: (He sighs.) At least they didn't go for the Ceetle.
Jumping Jellybeans- Izzy, Duncan, DJ, and Eva
The Jumping Jellybeans were standing at the front desk selecting their car.
"So, we all agree that we're getting the Moyota?" DJ said.
"I still think that that's a bad idea," Eva grumbled.
"Izzy thinks-" Izzy started to say.
"No, we're not getting that stupid car!" Duncan cut her off.
"Well, what do you think we should get Eva?" DJ asked patiently.
"The monster truck!" she said quickly.
"We're getting the Smart Cart," Izzy told the man at the desk quietly.
"Good choice," he said. She handed him her card.
"The monster truck doesn't go as fast as the Moyota," DJ told her.
"But we can run over the other teams' cars!" Eva said excitedly.
Suddenly Duncan perked up. "Let's get that one instead!"
DJ sighed. "Fine." He turned to the salesperson at the desk. "We'd like the monster truck please."
The salesperson looked at him uncomprehendingly. "But sir, you already took the car you wanted. That girl paid for it." He pointed at Izzy. She giggled.
"Izzy," Duncan and Eva growled.
"You are so dead!" Eva screamed. She lunged at Izzy. Izzy jumped nimbly away from her. Eva chased Izzy around the car dealership with Izzy laughing crazily.
Raging Burritos- Harold, Gwen, Jacob, and Lindsay
"I think we should get the monster truck," Harold said. "We can use my mad driving skills to smash the other cars into oblivion."
"Oh my gosh, I totally agree!" Lindsay gushed. "But where's oblivion? Is it near Timbuktu?"
Gwen sighed. "I have no problem with the monster truck. Jacob?"
He shrugged. "I'm cool with it."
"Boo-yah! Monster truck it is!" Harold yelled.
Singing Unicorns- Justin, Katie, and Pinkie – Mini Dooper Convertible
The team was sitting on the hood of the car. They were studying the map. Or rather, Justin was studying the map and Katie and Pinkie were staring happily at the car.
"This car is just so cool!" Katie gushed.
"I know!" Pinkie agreed enthusiastically.
"Eeeeeeee!" they squealed together.
Jumping Jellybeans- Izzy, Duncan, DJ, and Eva – Smart Cart
Duncan stared at the car in horror. "I don't see how two normal humans can fit in this, let alone four of us."
"Izzy. When this challenge is over," Eva said. She cracked her knuckles threateningly. "You're dead."
"But in this car, we can all snuggle!" Izzy protested.
"Snuggle?" Duncan and Eva asked incredulously.
"Yeah, snuggle! Like this!" She grabbed onto DJ and started to rub against his side. He froze and his face looked uncomfortable and happy at the same time.
"I don't want to snuggle with him!" Eva said angrily.
"Seriously!" Duncan agreed.
"I bet you two both wish it was someone else," Izzy said. She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.
The Confessional: The Izzy Paradox. Live it, learn it, love it.
Eva: (She looks panicked.) Does she know?
________________________
Izzy: That clinches it! Eva got all freakity-deakity after I said that so she's gotta have someone she likes! Now I just have to find out who…..
________________________
Duncan: Okay, the only reason Izzy wanted this car was so that she could get cozy with DJ. And maybe she wanted to watch us suffer. You never know with her.
Singing Unicorns- Justin, Katie, and Pinkie – Mini Dooper Convertible – 1st place
Katie turned steering wheel and drove out of the space.
"I feel so cool in this car!" Pinkie said excitedly as they drove down the road.
"Let's put the top down!" Katie suggested.
"And roll the windows down!" Pinkie said.
Flying Pine Trees- Noah, Heather, and Bridgette – Jonda Bivic- 2nd place
Heather turned the keys in the ignition. "So, I'll drive first. Then Noah will drive, and then I guess Bridgette will take the last shift?"
"I'm not driving in this thing," Noah said. "No way."
"I can't drive," Bridgette said sheepishly.
The Confessional: Enviro-conscious much?
Bridgette: I just always used my bike. Cars are bad for the environment. But I wouldn't mind owning an electric car!
Heather turned to Noah. "You're driving." He opened his mouth to argue. "And that's final," she said, cutting him off.
Raging Burritos- Harold, Gwen, Jacob, and Lindsay – Monster truck – 3rd place
The Raging Burritos piled into the monster truck. "I've never driven a car this big before," Lindsay commented. She put her hands on the steering wheel. "Everyone ready?" She didn't wait for an answer and pulled out of the parking space. She swung around and dented the Jonda Bivic next to them. "Oopsie!" She floored the accelerator and swerved out of the parking lot onto the road. Everyone was thrown to one side.
"Sorry Gwen," Harold apologized as he picked himself off of the girl.
"We pick a car without seatbelts and we let Lindsay drive. Who thought of this plan, exactly?" the goth girl asked.
Flying Pine Trees- Noah, Heather, and Bridgette – Jonda Bivic – 3rd place
"They dented our car!" Heather said, her mouth hanging open.
"Let's cream them," Noah said, his eyes narrowed.
Heather nodded and pulled out of the space in a violent fashion. Bridgette buckled her seatbelt quickly.
Jumping Jellybeans- Izzy, Duncan, DJ, and Eva – Smart Cart – 4th place
"DJ, you drive like a grandma," Duncan complained.
"When you see a yellow light, it means for you to slow down. Driving under the speed limit does not mean that you're a grandma," DJ replied. "Hey, move your head Izzy. You're blocking my view of the road." Izzy giggled and moved her head. She shifted a bit on his lap.
"I need the Fast and the Furious, not Driving Miss Daisy!" Duncan said angrily.
"You saw that movie?" Izzy asked incredulously. (3)
Duncan muttered something incoherent about Courtney and Disney movies.
Flying Pine Trees- Noah, Heather, and Bridgette – Jonda Bivic – 3rd place
"I can see them," Bridgette said.
Heather and Noah smiled evilly and Heather managed to stomp the accelerator down even farther than before. The car shot forward and they quickly passed the monster truck. Noah stuck his head out the window. "Hasta la vista, babies!" he yelled at the truck.
Raging Burritos- Harold, Gwen, Jacob, and Lindsay – Monster truck – 3rd place
Lindsay seethed as she watched the car disappear. "Can you go any faster, Linds?" Jacob asked.
She shook her head. "Stupid truck," she muttered.
Jumping Jellybeans- Izzy, Duncan, DJ, and Eva – Smart Cart – 4th place
"Hurry up DJ!" Eva yelled.
"Let's go a little faster please, DJ," Izzy said. She stuck her foot downwards and pushed down the accelerator.
"Whoah!" he yelled as the car jumped forward. He started to look panicked.
"Ugh, this car just isn't as fast as theirs is," Duncan groaned.
"I'll soup it up at the next rest stop, kay?" Izzy said.
The Confessional: Desperados
Duncan: Should we let her do that? We're kind of desperate here.
Singing Unicorns- Justin, Katie, and Pinkie – Mini Dooper Convertible – 1st place
"Push it real good!" Katie and Pinkie sang. The car was practically shaking from how loud they were playing the music.
Justin looked in the rearview mirror and gasped. "Um, guys," he said. The girls didn't respond. "There's a car…."
The Flying Pine Tree's shot past them. "See you at the finish line!" Noah yelled at them.
Katie and Pinkie suddenly looked murderous. Pinkie stomped on the accelerator.
Flying Pine Trees- Noah, Heather, and Bridgette – Jonda Bivic – 1st place
"First place! Good job, Heather!" Bridgette said.
Heather ignored her and continued to drive like a maniac.
(1)- No. He said that he could drive.
(2)- Some of the cars I mentioned are:
Smart Cart (Smart Car)
Jonda Bivic (Honda Civic)
Mini Dooper (Mini Cooper)
Ceetle (Beetle)
Moyota (Toyota)
Gummer (Hummer)
Bube (Cube)
(3) - A Cinderella Story. Duncan has seen this movie because Courtney is a big fan of sappy/Disney movies. (Because I decided she is.)
Recap-
Flying Pine Trees- Noah, Heather, and Bridgette – Jonda Bivic – 1st place
Singing Unicorns- Justin, Katie, and Pinkie – Mini Dooper Convertible – 2nd place
Raging Burritos- Harold, Gwen, Jacob, and Lindsay – Monster truck – 3rd place
Jumping Jellybeans- Izzy, Duncan, DJ, and Eva – Smart Cart – 4th place
Yes! I can't wait for the next chapter! Be ready for some serious road rage!